It's the inevitable reheating of the same leftovers by new guests that makes this place classic.
Yeah, but i put cheese on it this time...its different
It was you that left the spillage to harden on the tray glass, wasn't it?
How would they feel if other people did that to them? Maybe the thought doesn't automatically cross their mind, but sometimes I find myself thinking that INFPs and INFJs are one in the same.
It could be -- I just know that when writing with a friend, she always bounced ideas off of me and she is an INFJ. I mean every single thing she wanted to write, she bounced it off of two or three ideas and I was just like can you hurry up and pick one and just write it? But it was a process.
An INFJ here told me that it's normal for infj's to want to bounce ideas off of other people.
That's funny... my INFJ friend admitted to me that she can not let go of a grudge or forgive that easily. She still isn't speaking to me after nearly two months now so I'd say she's having the harder time considering I've apologized until I'm blue in the face and I wish to just repair the friendship.
I used to hold grudges when I was a kid and a teenager, but now that I'm an adult it's pointless for me to hold a grudge especailly with close friends and family. Life is too short.
I wish my INFJ friend thought that way about friends. In her world it's what either one of us "deserve" when it comes to friendships (which I think for her is more perfection than anything else, and perfection doesn't exist in any aspect) and there's no room for understanding on her part (or there is, but it's silent and just within herself). Which I guess kind of says a thing about INFP needing to speak to others -- in serious cases, as I've gotten older I might reach out to a friend or to and ask them what I should do. This friend is a perfect example, but when it comes to other things like I mentioned it's more of a, what's the hold up? Just pick something and do it. So in that respect an INFP and an INFJ might flip.
In the end once you're close to me, you're just always there and when you're not, it creates a large empty space that can't ever really be replaced. I've had interests, been a fan of things, and close friends since I was a small child and through my life I've taken everything with me. Unfortunately you can't take people with you because they're too complicated, but I've never told someone there isn't any room for them in my life. I accept a lot of people for who they are, rather than what they do. If that were the case, my life would be filled with those that are alike and I don't think that life should be that way because it's unrealistic in that sense. There's people that you're going to feel very comfortable around and very accepting, but as much as they say INFP's don't like conflict, I think we're better (or I'm better) at getting past it or through it than INFJs are. I think in the sense of handling situations, INFJ's are much more firm in their beliefs and if you cross them (even without knowing how deeply it bothers them) they're going to judge you and remove themselves from you like you are a virus. Not all of course, but some, from what I can tell so far. Some for both INFJs or INFPs.
This rings very true to some of the thoughts I've had about my friend. Would this carry on in every aspect of life meaning not just friends or family, but co-workers as well? And would a job experience gone wrong (to the point of incredible stress, emotions and general unfairness) make it worse?
Also back on the topic of jealousy, how does jealousy work within an infj? I know it is human to all personsonalities, but generally speaking in the sense of an infj, what does it take and what does it stem from?
As an infp i find jealousy in artistic types. I'm a graphic designer and a fangirl in a lot of senses, so when I see others get praise, I feel wounded a bit and jealousy -- but I take it out on myself and blame myself for it meaning there was something about my art that wasn't good enough.
In the sense of my infj friend it seems to stem from others who write and are recognized for it because she takes her writing seriously as I've read a lot of infj's do. The only thing I can't understand fully is she does not put her work out there to be judged so in a way it seems like she can be a critic and be jealous, but she doesn't allow others to feel that way about her because she keeps her work private. I know some of her work, but I am also the one who kept pushing her to share her work and that must have only bothered her even more.
Other things too... jealousy over other people in her life, almost always women. They always look better, act better, etc... except for me. So far I'm the only real person she knows who has something wrong with her or could be a better version of myself.
I will look into that therapy. I am not familiar with much therapy, but I don't think I'll be the one to mention it to my friend. She's already not speaking to me. If she sees me trying to offer her a push towards any kind of therapy, she'll take that in completely the wrong way. I think.
No, they "shouldn't" be, but it IS a trend, and I am interested in "why". It may not be jealousy, maybe just simple disdain, but it is there. And the disclaimer has already been given that not all INFJs display this attitude at all. The idea that INFPs are pretty much defective INFJs exists in MBTI communities in general.
So the question becomes: how and why are INFPs specifically rubbing against INFJ insecurities?
Of course I have my speculations, but I am more curious about what others have to say, given denial of the existence of this can be gotten past.
I can see the bolded as relevant.From what I have observed in INFJ's, they enjoy INFP's, but are also often very confused by them. I don't think many INFJ's can fathom that level of awareness of your internal subjective feeling, so Fi upsets probably strike them as childish whims. Fi to me, also sounds like it's a bit of an internal physical experience (in the gut and so forth). So on top of being Fe users, INFJ's inferior Se body disconnect cuts them off even more from the immediacy of their feelings. So while I am sure there is plenty about the INFP worth envying, I don't think INFJ's appreciate the INFP machinery enough to envy them. They just aren't very experiential people, and often have a disembodied, 3rd person omniscient quality about them.
And I think the first person POV is jarring and antithetical to the INFJ's quest for perceptual objectivity (not saying they achieve it). It seems natural they would want to suppress a radically 1st person POV (They don't realize Fi's "Self-centered"approach is actually a focus on the universal aspects of self, sort of like how we all share relatively common biology/anatomy. It's the self as mirror. Think of Montaigne's self-focused essays, that still resonate with readers centuries later). Fe is very blind to that world, IMO.
I'm not sure what others would say about the bolded. It's hard for me to picture any of the INFPs this way. Ji-doms seem hyper-analytical in discussion. What I've noticed in debates with *some* Ti and Fi doms is that they can have a fixed conclusion which will never change, and both have the capacity to do complex mental gymnastics that rely on dissecting every detail and every specific word and turn of phrase to finally come back to "proving" the original conclusion, whether it is accurate or not. If you go into a debate with a Ji-dom who has a foregone conclusion and a stubborn personality, the debate will go on forever in excruciating detail and without any actual progress of new insight. Definitely not true of all, but true of some. This has never looked like flailing to me, but more hyper-exhausting and highly structured and detailed. Only the content of the debates differ.On the other hand, I also think INFP's lack of awareness of how they are coming across leads to them being super awkward, and publicly embarrassing themselves (I know lots of non-awkward INFP's, but let's just work with an exaggerated caricature, okay?). They have this raw, vulnerable quality, that likely terrifies INFJ's and also makes them cringe sympathetically. Fi users see the lack of polish and guile as authentic, but Fe just sees a poor creature thrashing about blindly.
Other people seem to be cut out for a 9-5 corporate zombie routine, and it sometimes makes me feel like a space alien that I just don't fit in.