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  1. #1
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Default Is this normal for Fi?

    So, in this video (i think last 10 minutes but in the beginning too), the INFP guy explains how his Fi works... -i cant explain exactly what he said so try to watch a video...
    INFJ or INFP? a closer look

    anyway, what i wonder is this normal for healthy Fi user (mostly Fi doms?), or this is in his case still not fully balanced personality?
    I am not saying it's not "normal" but maybe it's over protective, defensive??
    i know infps who do that, and those who dont... i guess it's more related to negative expiriences than ONLY with Fi?
    or am i completely wrong???

  2. #2
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    So, in this video (i think last 10 minutes but in the beginning too), the INFP guy explains how his Fi works... -i cant explain exactly what he said so try to watch a video...
    INFJ or INFP? a closer look

    anyway, what i wonder is this normal for healthy Fi user (mostly Fi doms?), or this is in his case still not fully balanced personality?
    I am not saying it's not "normal" but maybe it's over protective, defensive??
    i know infps who do that, and those who dont... i guess it's more related to negative expiriences than ONLY with Fi?
    or am i completely wrong???
    I'm not sure exactly what is so negative. My general opinion of the interview is that the interviewer (Vicky Jo) was sometimes too directive and had a tendency to put words in the INFP's (Pete's) mouth.

    You'll note that Vicky Jo really pushes the more negative terms "resistance" and "opposition" and INFPete responds with "boundaries." He does say that interactions with strangers have to start small. I think that's typical that INFPs aren't particularly self-disclosing at first, and they are unlikely to make themselves instantly vulnerable to complete strangers.

    (I did note that INFPete specifically said he doesn't try to name other people's emotions and feelings. And that he's very private with his emotions and value judgments except with people that he knows well.)

    They do talk a lot about the "judgmental" INFP, but INFPete examples are specifically in the context of having his guard up at too large a party. He does talk about making snap judgments of people as far as if they are being genuine. I don't think that's particularly unusual. I personally tend to have a feeling pretty early how open I can be with someone and how much we are likely to have in common. That opinion can change over time, though.

    INFPete says he can see the upside of a healthy selfishness as far as honoring one's self and one's own values, which is in contrast to Vicky Jo having a hard time learning to care for her own needs.

    So, maybe I'm too INFP to see a whole lot of unusual negativity there. Sure, the INFP being interviewed doesn't bare his soul to every person he meets, but he does seem fairly grounded and self-contained compared to Vicky Jo's almost spastic "respond to me! respond to me!" kind of manner.

    So... was that the kind of response you were looking for? A little more specificity might be helpful.
    Last edited by Seymour; 01-06-2010 at 09:42 AM.

  3. #3
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    He wasn't articulate enough for me, but that's just me being critical . I know that with Ne-aux, formulating clear, linear responses in the moment can send your head swimming.... I'd be more interested in reading something he wrote, because it would probably be clearer. Time to arrange thoughts goes a long way with this INFP anyway....

    IMO, he looks overwhelmed by her....maybe this has to do with her "you seem this way; explain!" approach. I agree with Seymour that she labels a perceived behavior/mindset somewhat negatively and then asks for an explanation, and he seems to be like, "that's not exactly where I am coming from." If anything, it does highlight the Fe/Fi difference in communication, but probably not in the way it's intended. He's a little more passive than some INFPs (but maybe on the mark for others), and she's a little more aggressive than most INFJs come off.

    He touched on a few points I can relate to, but I don't have the feeling of "yes, that's me!" as I have had with other INFPs online giving self-descriptions.

    I wouldn't pick this guy as any INFP prototype spokesman, but I have a feeling INFJs wouldn't pick her as any definitive INFJ either.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #4
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    I was cutting Pete some slack. I hate public speaking (and probably being on camera would trigger something similar), so I sympathize with the deer in the headlights reaction.

    I also couldn't tell if he wasn't that familiar with the 8 functions, or if Vicky Jo was just explaining things for the audience. I didn't get the impression that he had really thought about Fi vs Fe in detail, which led to Vicky Jo being more directive.

    Anyway, agree with OA that I didn't have the "that's me!" response. I did have a "I hope that's not what I look like when I have to speak in public... he's so still he's almost comatose Zen!" response, though.
    Last edited by Seymour; 01-06-2010 at 12:04 PM.

  5. #5
    Feelin' FiNe speculative's Avatar
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    I like the INFJ or INFP web site. I read through much of it a few months ago and there's some interesting thoughts there.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    So, in this video (i think last 10 minutes but in the beginning too), the INFP guy explains how his Fi works... -i cant explain exactly what he said so try to watch a video...
    INFJ or INFP? a closer look

    anyway, what i wonder is this normal for healthy Fi user (mostly Fi doms?), or this is in his case still not fully balanced personality?
    I am not saying it's not "normal" but maybe it's over protective, defensive??
    i know infps who do that, and those who dont... i guess it's more related to negative expiriences than ONLY with Fi?
    or am i completely wrong???
    I'm not sure what you referring to here? Are you referring to the fact that the guy doesn't like to be in crowds, or rejects people who he doesn't feel are authentic, or...

    The INFP character in the video definitely resonated with me. He seemed to be stuck in chillaxin' mode...
    "How can I be, all I want to be,
    When all I want to do is strip away these stilled constraints
    And crush this charade, shred this sad, masquerade"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGeq5v7L3WM

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    I'm not sure exactly what is so negative. My general opinion of the interview is that the interviewer (Vicky Jo) was sometimes too directive and had a tendency to put words in the INFP's (Pete's) mouth.

    You'll note that Vicky Jo really pushes the more negative terms "resistance" and "opposition" and INFPete responds with "boundaries." He does say that interactions with strangers have to start small. I think that's typical that INFPs aren't particular self-disclosing at first, and they are unlikely to make themselves instantly vulnerable to complete strangers.
    Yeah, I got the same feeling. There's something about Vicky Jo's style that irks me. In general she seems to focus on Fe much more than Ni which, I'm guessing, makes her an untypical INFJ. I also don't suppose that INFJs in general are so out of touch with Fi, like she seems to be (or perhaps she's just dramatising it).

    I don't see anything unhealthy in the guy's boundaries. I have boundaries, myself. Sometimes I let them too low and repent it afterwards. It's important for me to have some privacy and I don't think there's absolutely anything wrong with that.

    There's nothing wrong with judging people, either, if there's a good reason for that. People say that I seem very nonjudgmental... but I actually judge people in my head a lot. However, it does usually take me a lot of time to make judgments about people. I don't usually make bad judgments about people in twenty seconds. I give them at least a few weeks. My sister (an INFP) said a long time ago that she doesn't like Tyra Banks, but it took me almost six months of watching ANTM to decide that Tyra Banks is evil.

    I don't get the whole thing about "sensing" what a room's atmosphere is like. I don't sense things like that...

    Also, to me the word "selfish" is very negative.

    So I don't relate to everything that he says but I don't get a feeling that he's "unhealthy" somehow. Perhaps I'm less "in tune" with my feelings than he is.

  7. #7
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Wow there's just so much I could say about this video ...

    This makes me think of the Pretentious Fi thread ... all the folks who think Fi dominants are out there in the world being "drama queens" should really watch this.

    I would love to share my entire intuitions about this but it would just be too long and I need to get some work done today. If anyone is really interested in my thoughts post or PM me and I'll put my attention to the whole dynamic.

    OMG, I'm still listening to it and laughing ... he is so patient with her!

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    He's a little more passive than some INFPs (but maybe on the mark for others), and she's a little more aggressive than most INFJs come off.
    I agree with this OA. And I thought I used my hands too much when I talk!

    Thanks for sharing this link Chloee.

  8. #8
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    I'm a lot more passive than him.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Wow there's just so much I could say about this video ...

    This makes me think of the Pretentious Fi thread ... all the folks who think Fi dominants are out there in the world being "drama queens" should really watch this.

    I would love to share my entire intuitions about this but it would just be too long and I need to get some work done today. If anyone is really interested in my thoughts post or PM me and I'll put my attention to the whole dynamic.

    OMG, I'm still listening to it and laughing ... he is so patient with her!
    I would be really interested in reading about your thoughts

  10. #10
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    ^ k later ...

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