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  1. #1
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    Default INFJs from the perspective of other types

    Im pretty sure a thread like this has already been created, but Im not going to resurrect an old thread to satiate my growing curiosity. I have here, before me, a website filled with individuals knowledgeable in the area of psychology and the MBTI, who also post behavior patterns as a side thought.

    I want to know from personal standpoints from various other types, how an INFJ in personal and professional lives are viewed as well as views from those who can only speculate given lack of interaction with an actual INFJ. Id also like to encourage other INFJs on this site to chime in and tell me how you view someone of "like type" so to speak.

    Ive done a lot of reading on here and lurked on various boards trying to get a rounded view, but a lot of focus tends to be on types *other* than INFJ.

    I also would like to ask that feelings and opinions based on INFJ be both from a typology stand point and from a personal one, if any kind of difference exists to anyone on that.

    Looking forward to responses!

  2. #2
    Junior Member cen98's Avatar
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    Thank you for starting a new thread. I prefer that to one that already has 10 pages of back and forth, even if it does answer a question. I like INFJs a lot! They're kind, smart, loyal, funny I think they get overlooked a lot because they are introverted, and less chatty than say, an INFP, once you become friends with them. Their Fe makes them a bit sensitive to criticism (not that I have much to criticize them about, but I think they shy away from putting themselves out there because they dislike or don't stand up to being judged/criticized as much as other types) Their Ti makes them want to fix this, but they're not sure how to go about doing it. This also creates the only thing that frustrates me about them - they're so difficult to get to really open up! I see them helping or wanting to help people a lot and I don't know who they allow to do that for them

  3. #3
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synth View Post
    I want to know from personal standpoints from various other types, how an INFJ in personal and professional lives are viewed as well as views from those who can only speculate given lack of interaction with an actual INFJ. Id also like to encourage other INFJs on this site to chime in and tell me how you view someone of "like type" so to speak.
    I've only ever known female INFJs, but I love them.

    I have a lot of respect for INFJs because they seem to be able to manifest qualities that I feel, but can't show. They are very caring and it's amazing to watch them at work in that capacity. While I pillory myself because I just can't see how it's possible to end a person's sadness, an INFJ is there actually making an attempt - and doing a good job. I love being around them because they don't judge me for my flights of fancy. I also think I serve to strengthen their self-confidence by telling them to forget everyone else in the world and just do what you want as long as you don't hurt anyone. I've never worked out why they feel so insecure because I've never met an INFJ that wasn't a lovely person.

    I am fiercely protective of INFJs because I recognise that they are almost like the INFP's hands in the world. They do the things I wish I could but can't because it's too emotionally tortuous: if I see a child that's upset, I get upset for them; an INFJ will actually go and make things better. In this sense, I feel like I will take the slings and arrows on their behalf so they don't ever have to feel bad - they've got too many gifts that might be wasted if they feel sad. I'd rather that I feel sad for them and they feel happy and caring!

    In a way, I think we both look at each other and see the things we lack in ourselves. As I've said, I see the "pastoral care" present in an INFJ that I wish I could offer but can't. Likewise, I think they see in INFPs a strength of character which allows us to disregard everyone else and follow our own whims.

    It's a great partnership, and I wish I knew more INFJs.
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  4. #4
    Member Bamboozle's Avatar
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    I'm working with an INFJ at the moment. I like and respect him a lot! But—not gonna lie—it's kind of awkward to work with him. It's really not his fault, though.

    As an INTP, I feel a lot more comfortable when someone isn't trying to comfort me. When I'm worried or stressed, he responds by telling him that he believes in me. It's very nice of him. I appreciate it. But I actually have no clue how to react.

    I constantly feel like he needs me to emote more for him and I can't! I can for short periods of time but if I have to stop and think, he somehow mistakes my reaction for displeasure or criticism. I have to constantly indicate that I'm agreeing with him or he looks hurt.

    So…really, the very qualities that make him likeable, make me very uncomfortable, haha! It's just that he's so sensitive to my tone and body language that I always have to be on guard because he doesn't seem quite used to reading someone like me and misinterprets so often.

    To his credit, though, I think he's slowly adapting to my mode of expression, as I am (trying) to adapt to his.


    ETA: Oh, and this might be interesting, too. I actually mistook him for an ENTP to begin with. He's such a good performer when he needs to be, haha!

  5. #5
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    As an INTP, I feel a lot more comfortable when someone isn't trying to comfort me.
    * An INTP is crying *

    INFP: Hey INTP
    INTP (crying): Yes?
    INFP: Fuck off.
    INTP: Cheers mate.

    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  6. #6
    Member Bamboozle's Avatar
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    Haha! Actually, I'm usually more open to Fi-doms comforting me. Fi-doms or other NTs. It makes more sense to me than Fe-dom forms of comforting. So…who knows, that might have worked @Adasta .

  7. #7
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    I like INFJs. While you guys are pretty rare, I've seemed to developed quite the collection of you... both male and female. And, I've dated them as well.

    I'd say that from my ENFP perspective INFJs are quiet, loyal, sensitive, and reserved. I admire their willingness to help others, and I really like their Ni which is very stimulating for my Ne to be around. There are differences between Ni and Ne, of course. Nonetheless, they have a lot in common. And, we seem to have the same kind of sense of humor. So yay for INFJ / ENFP friendships/dating relationships.

    On the downside (again from my ENFP perspective), I've noticed they seem to be unnecessarily obstinate (the whole J thing I guess), and sometimes too resistant to changing the plan. INFJs always have a plan for whatever they're doing... and boy they don't like that plan to be changed unexpectedly. They also don't like emotional surprises which doesn't bother ENFPs at all. They can be (what seems to me) overly cautious when it comes to letting people in their lives. They sometimes jump to judgement too quickly. And, they can be a wee bit overly sensitive. When they get their feelings hurt they have a tendency to bottle it up and then release their anger/hurt in a tirade that seems to come out of nowhere.

    You know, I believe that each personality type has predictable points of commonality and points of friction with any other given personality type. Socionics talks about this a lot. You can put in any two personality types and it will predict the kind of relationship they will have by visiting this webpage: http://www.socionics.com/rel/rel.htm.
    For example, ENFPs and INFJs are "mirror relations" and are predicted to get along very well. The main point of friction is the P/J difference.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^
    I bring up the Socionics intertype relations thing because I think you'll find that how other types view the INFJ is very much dependent upon what type they are. You'll notice patterns, for example, in how INTPs view INFJs which will be different than how ENFPs view INFJs.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  8. #8
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    On the downside (again from my ENFP perspective), I've noticed they seem to be unnecessarily obstinate (the whole J thing I guess), and sometimes too resistant to changing the plan. INFJs always have a plan for whatever they're doing... and boy they don't like that plan to be changed unexpectedly.
    +100.

    I have to say that indeed, that's one of the reasons why most both types couldn't get each other most of the time.

    Though I have to say is INFJ takes spoken promises very seriously and ENFP has a hard time keeping a promise (even if they did verbally) as they strive for leaving the options open. It does take an infinite amount of patience for both type to get each other with our opposing functions.

    Though I must say I did learn many things that I didn't see before without having conflicts with them. I consider them as mostly good lessons in general.

  9. #9
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    [an] ENFP has a hard time keeping a promise (even if they did verbally) as they strive for leaving the options open.
    I wouldn't say that ENFPs have trouble keeping promises, just that we are willing to readjust our priorities as we see the situation change. I think this seems very wishy washy for INFJs. Most ENFPs (and especially mature ones with some life experience under their belt) take their promises very seriously. Another thing is that ENFPs will say things without thinking it through. In other words, I say crazy shit all the time that I have to sort through later to see if I really meant it. This might make INFJs (and other types who consider carefully what they say before they say it) think ENFPs as untrustworthy. They're not really. You just have to understand this part of their personality. Sometimes the words come before the reflection. It's an ExxP/IxxJ think I think.

    So back to the original post, INFJs think through things before they say them. And, they prefer consistency in the people around them. At least that's my observation.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  10. #10
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Very true.

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