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  1. #1
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    Default Clash of the Feeling Functions

    I have an obvious preference for extraverted Feeling. It’s so clear that I can easily trace a boatload of systemic problems I’ve experienced in my life to over-using this process. I confess it’s an area where I can readily get co-dependent. There are plenty of times when I have acted contrary to my own . . . → Read More: Clash of the Feeling Functions

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  2. #2
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Welp, this one started out promising but slipped into the twaddle-zone fairly quickly:

    Here’s the thing: one hallmark of introverted Feeling is to withdraw, to end relationships. This process is the one most likely to treat another as persona non grata when a value has been violated. So look back over your life now and notice all the times you’ve walked away, turned your back on someone, ended a relationship. Those would be manifestations of introverted Feeling.
    Wow. What this person is saying is that all moments of connection are Fe and moments of disconnection are Fi, despite previously defining Fi as "valuing".

    The piece to notice is how readily doing that comes to you, and how easily or gracefully you do it. Chances are that people with introverted Feeling as a preferred process do it with greater style and grace than those of us who (like me) prefer extraverted Feeling.
    So, if you can walk away from people regularly and with certitude and confidence, not caring much (you cold-hearted soul), you must use Fi. However, if it's hard for you knowing you've cut someone out of your life, as you're wracked with guilt and tears and your mascara flowing everywhere as you turn your back, you must use Fe. *sniff*

    We need an eye-roll emoticon.

    eta: tl;dr behaviour is not type-related. discussion on that follows in subsequent post.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
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    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
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  3. #3
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Welp, this one started out promising but slipped into the twaddle-zone fairly quickly:



    Wow. What this person is saying is that all moments of connection are Fe and moments of disconnection are Fi, despite previously defining Fi as "valuing".



    So, if you can walk away from people regularly and with certitude and confidence, not caring much (you cold-hearted soul), you must use Fi. However, if it's hard for you knowing you've cut someone out of your life, as you're wracked with guilt and tears and your mascara flowing everywhere as you turn your back, you must use Fe. *sniff*

    We need an eye-roll emoticon.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.
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  4. #4
    Level 8 Propaganda Bot SpankyMcFly's Avatar
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    *gets front row seat for the ensuing Fi vs. Fe throwdown*

    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... Some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age. " - H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Welp, this one started out promising but slipped into the twaddle-zone fairly quickly:



    Wow. What this person is saying is that all moments of connection are Fe and moments of disconnection are Fi, despite previously defining Fi as "valuing".



    So, if you can walk away from people regularly and with certitude and confidence, not caring much (you cold-hearted soul), you must use Fi. However, if it's hard for you knowing you've cut someone out of your life, as you're wracked with guilt and tears and your mascara flowing everywhere as you turn your back, you must use Fe. *sniff*

    We need an eye-roll emoticon.
    In my case (as an Fi-Dom INFP), Vicky Jo has actually described me pretty well. I move on pretty easily, especially if someone has violated my values. I figure there are always new friends to be made. And frankly, I wouldn't want to be one of those who is still mourning an old flame or friendship years later. The author says that my kind of attitude can be an asset; and I agree with her.

    I've known some INFPs who have gone into a deep funk over a relationship gone bad. So I can't say how much this is a real difference between Fe and Fi. But as I said, she hit my nail on the head pretty well. And I kind of like the description.

    These things are in the eye of the beholder, I guess.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    So, there's an Fi-doorslam and an Fe-doorslam. Who comes up with this crap?
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  7. #7
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YUI View Post
    In my case (as an Fi-Dom INFP), Vicky Jo has actually described me pretty well. I move on pretty easily, especially if someone has violated my values. I figure there are always new friends to be made. And frankly, I wouldn't want to be one of those who is still mourning an old flame or friendship years later. The author says that my kind of attitude can be an asset; and I agree with her.

    I've known some INFPs who have gone into a deep funk over a relationship gone bad. So I can't say how much this is a real difference between Fe and Fi. But as I said, she hit my nail on the head pretty well. And I kind of like the description.
    Oh it's Vicky Jo, that explains it some.

    My point is that it doesn't explain it for me, therefore it's a difference that's not defined by looking at typological functions. If cognitive functions are about how we think, then you and I should be on the same page about this. But we are not (and granted, I didn't use a good argument to explain the logical underpinnings of my objection, just pointed out the discrepancy and left the blanks unfilled) and I am pretty sure you and I both are indeed Fi doms.

    That said, some of how we think, that wiring, orients us to certain behaviours, making some more probable or not based on that wiring. But behaviour is so much better explained with enneagram. It's about emotions. Behaviour is not so much about the way we think, but how we react to the feels.

    So yeah, I read this and think about how this makes people like me mistype myself as Fe. And I am not. So, it's just crappy misinformation, whichever way you slice it.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Oh it's Vicky Jo, that explains it some.

    My point is that is doesn't explain it for me, therefore it's a difference that's not defined by looking at typological functions. If cognitive functions are about how we think, then you and I should be on the same page about this. But we are not (and granted, I didn't use a good argument to explain the logical underpinnings, just pointed out the discrepancy and left the blanks unfilled) and I am pretty sure you and I both are indeed Fi doms.

    That said, some of how we think, that wiring, orients us to certain behaviours, making some more probable or not based on that wiring. But behaviour is so much better explained with enneagram. It's about emotions. Behaviour is not so much about the way we think, but how we react to the feels.

    So yeah, I read this and think about how this makes people like me mistype myself as Fe. And I am not. So, it's just crappy misinformation, whichever way you slice it.
    Vicky Jo is trying to pin down a differentiation between Fi and Fe. It's a slippery subject. I think there's a kernel of truth in what she's saying, and I give her credit for spotting the issue.

    INFJs will do a big doorslam on a friend and then flagellate themselves endlessly over the subject; I could never understand that.

    OTOH, I was pretty devastated by both my divorces. But it wasn't so much about losing the wives themselves; frankly I was just as happy to see those two women gone from my life. It was more about disillusionment and frustration that all my ideas of love and marriage had been proven wrong, and that all my great plans for our future as a couple had to be jettisoned and I had to rebuild afresh on my own. And so on, and so on. I didn't miss the women, but I missed being married, the solidity and predictability, and all that.

    Hard to spell out the differentiation in mindsets like that quickly though: The precise mix of fears and frustrations and pain that each type feels in the event of a similar loss.

  9. #9
    hypersane Hive's Avatar
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    Fi SUCKS! BOOOOOOOOOOO!
    I FEEL ALRIGHT

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hive View Post
    Fi SUCKS! BOOOOOOOOOOO!

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