[MENTION=23583]Yamato Nadeshiko[/MENTION] [MENTION=17131]Chanaynay[/MENTION] [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION] [MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION] [MENTION=24479]themightyfetus[/MENTION]
I take what you offered in the Mistyped thread to heart. I have perused the Si thread and some others and decided I am going to be forthright in 'opening myself up a bit more'. It's really difficult and I almost bailed completely but I really do want to seek accurate understanding when I visit here. Posting here cuz don't want to dominate the "mistyped" thread.
[MENTION=26674]theforsaken[/MENTION] [MENTION=14015]Urarienev[/MENTION] [MENTION=7111]fidelia[/MENTION] [MENTION=5223]MDP2525[/MENTION] would you guys also weigh in, if you wish? And everyone even if I didn't "mention" you of course...
I am a bit tired so am sure I am forgetting people who excel at this kind of thing or know me better. Yeah, I am already thinking of others I hope will drop by
I have done it in point form and maybe you will be able to assign functions, tell me if things are not type related etc...
I have tried to be transparent and talk about things I don't easily reveal or to do with when I am under stress or at fault. I feel like I identify with many types but it's usually my stressors and faults that help me to clarify.
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Feel emotions deeply but sometimes so deeply that have trouble referencing them at any accessible level. Have great difficulty understanding or putting words to my own emotions but understand other’s immediately. Empathy to point that I almost share the other person’s experience. Not feeling what they do but being able to imagine it. Almost always know right thing to do in social settings. So, when I fail it feels huge and I am very hard on myself. Huge sense of justice and fair play. I will always choose justice cuz it encapsulates mercy within it.
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Access emotions more easily through watching movies or listening to music. The emotion expressed there serves as a conduit to help me understand what I feel.
-Learnt to play-write, wrote & produced play. Finished. Learnt basic phrasing of language. Done. Will be obsessively interested in something till switch flips, and I move on to explore next thing.
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Love trying new things. Not overly sentimental and like throwing things out regularly. Like making new personal traditions as opposed to observing established ones.
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Not a worrier. Believe worrying is ‘borrowing trouble’. Have inherent optimism that everything ultimately works out and provides learning opportunities. If do feel anxious, ask self what worse logical outcome could be, ponder it and then move on feeling unencumbered.
- However, this can make me nervous of people who are anxious and I will sometimes try to “solve the problem†and accidentally make them feel they are needlessly worrying when it actually is important to them.
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Humane and altruistic but not primarily motivated by interest in other person. I do care but first motivation for me is doing what I perceive I SHOULD do to fulfill standard set for myself. I volunteer ect. because I think it is the right thing for me to do and then only secondly, for unselfish reasons.
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I don’t expect the same of other’s or even really care if they aren’t interested in those things. I might think about how the world would be better if we all did certain things, but ultimately I know everyone has do what is right for them personally and set individual priorities. I only truly care if I am living up to my vision for myself. So that I can like myself and be content. Standards for myself are probably a bit ridiculous, so is fault but also has led to extraordinary life?
- Intensely private in some ways. Would rather take pic than be in one or even share a pic = feels like person still ‘has me’ even when I am not there. Will share generic art have made but rare to share truly personal art. Easy to perform (sing, dance) in front of crowd but very hard to do one-on-one unless I trust that person implicitly.
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But, in other ways not so private. No problem skinny dipping or being very physically expressive. Naturally affectionate. Will easily and freely share info I don’t consider as “truly matteringâ€.
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I like to rally people for things I believe in, get the ball rolling and leave. Will delegate team to handle things and move on to the next thing I am interested in - occasionally checking back in to make sure things are on track - and that everyone feels heard. Because I care, but also because I desire success and change.
- Hate small talk. To point that will wait and watch until can leave social occasion un-noticed and slip out. Unless can find even one good conversational partner, then the event is redeemed.
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Like living alone, choose to work alone.
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Don't care much about authority like government or community. Left home at 16 and Dad disowned me over a difference I would not give in to (we are close now ). Don't care for rules or schedules. Obedience is relative to: if I believe in/agree with authority. I decide what I believe in, regardless of what the rest of the world decides to do.
- Was victim {am victor} of violent crime and waited years before even mentioning it to one other person. Most of what I think matters: stays inside me. Very occasionally I trust someone to be a hearing ear or see all the different sides of me.
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Have huge social network but schedule that part of my life largely as obligation. Steals energy. Happiest alone or with one or a few loved ones. Times when full house or being at a party also thrills me. But, trying to stick to what is inherently natural...
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Will ‘test’ a person if want to know them more intimately. Difficulty trusting initially. Once I feel comfortable - my undying loyalty is “set†- unless there is a HUGE violation.
-Prefer: "leave morals of the world alone and worry more about your own" philosophy.
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Care less about people liking or approving of me and MORE about them accurately perceiving who I am. Want them to know or understand me. Then, liking me is a bonus. Because unless I feel they "get" me I won't accept their compliments or believe their approval is accurate anyway. So, this can make me seem impersonal & somewhat removed from true intimacy.
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Hate closed ends. Nothing is written in stone and major beliefs may be revised tomorrow. Endless possibilities and want to try them all (new restaurants, new ways of using the body, new ways of looking at things, new paths etc). Figure out how everything forms to make a big picture. But, always looking at the big picture view first and smaller details secondary. Both important!
- Love changing and believe it’s essential, as long as my core stays true. Believe most conclusions or judgments probably benefit from amending.
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I like to know exactly where I am on a road. But, if the end of the road is uncertain, that is ok. Don't believe in emotional closure so much as acceptance and processing that leads to different levels of contentment.
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Cautious about declaring things ‘ideal’ or the ‘best’ or the ‘embodiment’ or ‘standard’. Every time I use the word favourite or any other superlative it feels a bit uncomfortable because I know there are probably other options and don’t like to ‘close a case’ or not leave ‘room open’.
- Often more comfortable in social settings with strangers than with people I know or even like.
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I don’t like the sensation of feeling needed or relied on. I WILL be there, willingly and mightily but I find it stifling if I feel it’s expected. I like friendship that is no obligation. See ya when I see ya and we’ll pick up just like the last time we had a great time together. If I sense the person has expectations of me, I may disappear. (To my and other's chagrin) I am not the type of friend that talks to you or sees you every day. The only exception in this regard is a committed romantic relationship. I experience that differently.
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I am not perceived socially as quiet or introverted. But, I am hugely shy and introverted. It just is all inside my head. My eyes are big and expressive, my energy is positive and easy-going. In groups I am not quiet and can be very social and exuberant. But, if deep in thought or alone I am quiet and even stern looking. And, even in a crowd or conversation there is a part of me that is still a lone observer.
- Not dreamy (was when little) or absent-minded but do get tangled in multitude of thoughts. Love intense conversation. Prefer direct communication. Even if it hurts, I want to hear the truth. But, I will only be balls-to-wall honest with people I trust. So, I am a hypocrite in this sense.
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Want to think less about future and be more in the moment. Am idealistic but very interested in hard science, business practices… Romantic but in a pragmatic way. Value respectful team-work over flowers and poetry.
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Extremely playful (to fault at times ). Love to laugh. Literally worship clever, dry, off-color, word-based humor. Hugely creative in every aspect of life.
- When stressed tendency to withdraw, isolate, create art. Playful interaction, planning/trying new things or brainstorming debates will pull me out of it quickly. If dealing with it solo: setting goals and getting out are best things.
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Easy-tempered and easy to live with. But unless person can draw me out/read me they might never have a clue when I was actually upset and might wonder how much actually knew me.
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Like paying bills on time, making lists…because works for success in home/business. But, natural disposition more laid-back and disorganized. Prefer house to be lived in and peaceful then “perfectly keptâ€.
- Have used a chalkboard as a coffee table (games!), had my bed in the middle of the living room (great for watching movies!) Like decorating and living in ways that involve lateral thinking. Find people easily won over to things they initially think are strange & I care more about just doing the things that appeal to me.
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Even if recipe works perfectly one time, will change it the next. Prefer no recipe at all. Can’t stand doing things the same more than once unless there is VERY good reason. Even then, I am probably still thinking about how it could be done differently while retaining the efficiency.
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Next to living a life that holds integrity to who I am, I most value making meaningful connections. Which is ironic because I also hold back But, the desire to make connections is stronger in the end then desire to keep to myself.
- Instead of teaching or raising children with ‘would’s’ and ‘should’s’ I like the idea of teaching them reason and logic and letting them ultimately choose what meld’s with their beliefs. Not letting the tail wag the dog - I believe in discipline but more letting them be who they were born to be, then fulfilling parental expectations.
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But, when taking care of children or animals I also have a tendency to observe them with amused or scientifically detached observation. Fascinated by seeing what they will do… Have to remind myself of responsibility first and learning/entertainment value second.
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I don’t have many ‘deal breakers’ but if someone continues to question or argue with a CORE belief I hold and is disparaging or persistently close-minded, that may lead to a breakdown in communication. Prefer kind and calm communications even in conflict.
- Continue to receive feedback that am exceptionally easy to get along with but 1) can make people feel they have to meet a certain standard and 2) people wish they had more access to me and I would share or rely on them more (sigh).
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Because my background is in marketing and journalism I can appear more probing and external than my natural disposition or what feels most comfortable. Being a teacher also has a bearing on this. Because I am a writer I have had revising and editing drilled into me. I think this is why my posts seem focused. It's rare they are '1st draft'.