Random Star Wars Thoughts

[Totenkindly]

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

I partook in Life Day and watched the Holiday Special, having skipped it last year. Still as shitty as I remember it. Just a lot of bad decisions all around. The frustrating thing is that it could have been good. The basic concept of introducing Chewbacca's family was not a bad idea, it was just executed horribly and interspersed with stupid variety bits. During the part when Leia sings, if you look at Harrison Ford's face, you can pretty much see the moment he gave up and checked out from Star Wars forever. It was just a paycheck for him from that moment on.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I will be curious to see how that Rey movie does. I'm extremely skeptical of it, but not for the usual reasons. I'm expecting a sort of uninspired cinematic ouroboros where this movie is a rehash of TFA, which was itself a rehash of ANH. (I didn't mind it with TFA at first, but when they threw in a super Death Star that took away focus from the plot I was invested in, that was a different story.) I also liked the Rey character when she was a nobody who discovered her hidden potential, but of course, everyone has to have a special lineage.

The other thing, of course, is that this is shaping up to be a touchstone in the culture wars which will no doubt be wearisome. This was probably inevitable, because there are many people out there who hate the very concept of the character (which is simply "female Jedi main character"), and did so before Disney released their shitty "epic conclusion" to the saga.

For the first time since it's been possible for me to see a new Star Wars film in theaters, I'm not excited. I'm weary and reluctant. That last film left such a bad taste in my mouth.

I'll need to assess trailers and reviews to see if my assumptions that this is yet another lazy cash grab pushed out the door are correct. The insufferableness of the conversation surrounding this film will probably also affect my decision.

 

[The Cat]

I will be curious to see how that Rey movie does. I'm extremely skeptical of it, but not for the usual reasons. I'm expecting a sort of uninspired cinematic ouroboros where this movie is a rehash of TFA, which was itself a rehash of ANH. (I didn't mind it with TFA at first, but when they threw in a super Death Star that took away focus from the plot I was invested in, that was a different story.) I also liked the Rey character when she was a nobody who discovered her hidden potential, but of course, everyone has to have a special lineage.

The other thing, of course, is that this is shaping up to be a touchstone in the culture wars which will no doubt be wearisome. This was probably inevitable, because there are many people out there who hate the very concept of the character (which is simply "female Jedi main character"), and did so before Disney released their shitty "epic conclusion" to the saga.

For the first time since it's been possible for me to see a new Star Wars film in theaters, I'm not excited. I'm weary and reluctant. That last film left such a bad taste in my mouth.

I'll need to assess trailers and reviews to see if my assumptions that this is yet another lazy cash grab pushed out the door are correct. The insufferableness of the conversation surrounding this film will probably also affect my decision.

I've been training with the blue force ghost of Alec Guiness he's taught me to keep my expectations low when it comes to star wars.

But in all seriousness. Star Wars has become a genre on its own. Instead of taking the movies and the Expanded Universe as stories in their own right. They're just part of a brand. That brand includes not learning lessons. The Reason the first three Star Wars worked, is because dispite people having seen it before, they didnt recognize it. Industrial Light and Magic carried the films. The Prequels were never gonna be able to be as cool as thirty years of the fans imaginations of what the clone were could have been. But in many ways Lucas told a new story just tied to the old stories. When they made the new movies they werent trying to tell a new story. They were trying to put butts in seats and bring in a whole new line of SW fans who would but SW merchandise. They tried to force lightning to strike thrice and that 9/10 times wont work like anyone thinks or hopes it will. So while we got exactly what we should have expected new reels of merchandising hype.

I enjoyed the crap out of Rey.
I enjoyed the crap out of Finn.
I enjoyed the crap out Poe.

Sure would have loved to see one or all of them have any sort of meaningful arcs or developments, but these movies werent for that. They were there to wring the absolute last red cent from the surviving original cast. The New Star wars was still about Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, r2d2 and c3po the death of Annakin Skywalker, and good old Sheev's political ambition. Because these movies were made with the marketing philosophy of people dont know what they want but they want what they know. (This isnt entirely true, but its shaped our modern society nevertheless because enough people want to believe its true.)

Hell I even enjoyed being annoyed by the naivete of Rose and I was really looking forward to see her struggle with that over the next movie. But like you said. SUPER DEATH STAR SUPER EMPIRE NOW WITH RED STREAKS(Which used to be associated with the rebellion, but who cares its just an intense color to add to the black and white. This empire is out for blood. Look at our evil Ginger man!

Dont get me wrong, I know theres versions of those movies we all would love to see as SW fans. But that's just now how Blockbuster movies get made. look at every really great science fiction project and notice how for the most part the ones that did the best were coming out of left field, trying their best to be whatever it was that they were. Matrix for example gets worse the more successful it is to the point that they ripped off Paul Attreides from Dune Messiah with Neo and "seeing the Golden Path stretching out before his sightless eyes" and The last Matrix, you'll never convince me is a thing they WANTED to make.


Personally I think that as long as they keep trying to make movies based on social media engagement they're gonna keep plopping out turds, because your average social media film critic that gets traction isnt even bitching about real issues. They like the studio are just farming clicks for cash.


Growing up I was obsessed with movies. If my life had been even slightly different I might be part of making movies, but its been really hard to stay a movie buff. Because Michael Bey style feels more like the rule rather than the exception these days. Now dont get me wrong I love a god fearing mildly southern veteran eating ceareal dramatically in the rain while a hot woman with arm definition and droplets of sweat like dew hanging around her , exposed middrift and visible abs looks on with heavy eye shadow half lidded gaze smolderingly. But there's other movies out there with more payoff in that regard.

That being said. Im not a fan of based on true story movies or heavy period peices or heart crushing dramas, Ok I know theres still good art out there being made. Robert Eggars is a shining star in a darkened cloudy night for me for example and Guiermo Del Toro could thrill me about a story set in an albertsons. But Star Wars....man I just view them as things that exist that Im probably not going to like much, and you know what. It helps. I can trick my brain into thinking its seen a movie thats not too bad actually as long as I stay grounded in the fact that my obsessive childhood brain that used to win star wars trivial pursuit before anyone else could even get a turn in, is going to be dissapointed. But theyre not my movies anymore. In a way...they never were. They still inspire my imagination for TTRPG setting designs. I love many aspects of SW. The Laser swords, the magic monks, the constant sexual tension and implied incest. Its just the bees knees. All I want from SW all I want from SW is them to open the door to the adult content and adult situations that would make them bomb as box office smashes but explode as cult classics and very artistically done good acting porn movies. Which exist that the force. If they want to flood the market with SW FLOOD it, force choke us all with the sheer amount of weird cool horrifying shit that the SW galaxy implies. stop trying to cinematic universe everything.

And we all need to stop pretending that we wouldnt love this^ lol
​

TBH I think your expectations are about right to actually be able to enjoy the movie regardless whether they do right by Rey this time. But man oh manatee Its gonna be real hard after Episode IX The thing is though, I dont blame the writers or the cast, I blame the hubris of the director for that tanking.


I want a Quentin Tarrantino & Robert Rodruigez SW project. I want SW for grown ups. Disney used to have grown up production studios. They have no excuse for kidding it all down even more than it used to be. But then Im a grown up who can still get emotionally affected by space operas so my own blathering insanity keeps me pretty imaginatively satisfied and as long as there's erotic fan fic and zines on the subject. I'm gonna be ok.

tl;dr: hahahaha the ravings of a madman don't work like that, you're not busy, get up there and skim that typoed wall of yammering nutterbuttery and shake your head with sad disbelief like in olden times. Think there but for the grace of god go you.

And have a nice day.​

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

Because it's Valentine's day:

I like to imagine an alternate universe where these two became make it out and become a thing. I like the idea of a couple that works well together, especially if that happens to be saving the galaxy.

"I'm not used to people sticking around when things go bad."

 

[Totenkindly]

way to spoil the film!


jk


Yeah, it was really sweet. If not together romantically, then just something even deeper.

They finished shooting Andor Season 2.

 

[The Cat]

Because it's Valentine's day:

I like to imagine an alternate universe where these two became make it out and become a thing. I like the idea of a couple that works well together, especially if that happens to be saving the galaxy.

"I'm not used to people sticking around when things go bad."

It's called Dark Forces. It was a video game series and it was...ok. It was just ok. But it was enough.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

It's called Dark Forces. It was a video game series and it was...ok. It was just ok. But it was enough.

Hey, those games were awesome for their time.

 

[The Cat]

Hey, those games were awesome for their time.

They were indeed. But the world has moved on.

 

[Totenkindly]

This would have been a funny scene.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

When I saw Rise of Skywalker, when Palpatine revealed that Rey was his granddaughter, a guy in the front row proceeded to making vomiting noises.

I found this amusing.

It's an expression of horror at either the lameness of that plot twist, or at the idea of Palpatine having sex being canon. Really, that was the highlight of the evening, along with Long Island Iced tea that the will of the Force told me I would need.

 

[Totenkindly]

When I saw Rise of Skywalker, when Palpatine revealed that Rey was his granddaughter, a guy in the front row proceeded to making vomiting noises.

I found this amusing.

It's an expression of horror at either the lameness of that plot twist, or at the idea of Palpatine having sex being canon. Really, that was the highlight of the evening, along with Long Island Iced tea that the will of the Force told me I would need.

That Long Island Ice Tea sounds good.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

View attachment 30244



That Long Island Ice Tea sounds good.

The best part is I picked it randomly. At the theater they had a laminated sheet of mixed drinks, and I just picked something I never had before. I didn't know going in that they were supposed to be especially potent.

 

[Totenkindly]

The best part is I picked it randomly. At the theater they had a laminated sheet of mixed drinks, and I just picked something I never had before. I didn't know going in that they were supposed to be especially potent.

lol yeah -- usually when I go to that dive bar in Chicago, I'd get 2-3 Long Island Ice Teas and that would be the end of me.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I love many aspects of SW. The Laser swords, the magic monks, the constant sexual tension and implied incest. Its just the bees knees. All I want from SW all I want from SW is them to open the door to the adult content and adult situations that would make them bomb as box office smashes but explode as cult classics and very artistically done good acting porn movies.

Interesting post. What percentage of seriousness was involved in writing this?

I wouldn't have expected this to get anything above a PG-13 rating (and anyway we both know Disney would never release a movie like that), but this makes me think of something I wanted to see in the ST, which was teased a few times but never emerged. When I first watched TFA, I was giddy with excitement because I thought this trilogy was going to be about two Jedi; Finn is teased as a Jedi and I was hoping this would be more than misdirection. This would be more interesting than one Jedi, which had already been done. I held out hope for this as the credits rolled. I suppose we never could have seen this because it wouldn't have been paint-by-numbers and would have required for the creation of new plotlines. TFA also hinted at a romance between Finn and Rey, which they never followed up on, because the all-important Chinese audiences would not have watched this movie. (Sidebar: this whole fiasco of how Finn and Rey were apparently considered a controversial pairing over there makes me wonder what they would be like as the major world power.)

I would have been interested to see a strong bond established as the discover their connection to the force at the same time, despite being "nobodies." I think it wouldn't hurt if that's romantic and you could have Finn turn to the dark side at some point in the second movie (perhaps while trying and failing to redeem Ben; I wouldn't actually change the second movie that much, but I suppose we'd have to scrap the dyad in the Force that they never do anything with anyway). Having it be Finn avoids the cliche of having a woman with power turn evil, and he used to be the stormtrooper, so perhaps he's tempted to return to the life he once knew, or something like that. Instead of redeeming Ben, we redeem Finn, which makes way more sense.

 

[Totenkindly]

Dont get me wrong, I know theres versions of those movies we all would love to see as SW fans. But that's just now how Blockbuster movies get made. look at every really great science fiction project and notice how for the most part the ones that did the best were coming out of left field, trying their best to be whatever it was that they were. Matrix for example gets worse the more successful it is to the point that they ripped off Paul Attreides from Dune Messiah with Neo and "seeing the Golden Path stretching out before his sightless eyes" and The last Matrix, you'll never convince me is a thing they WANTED to make.

You mean Matrix 4?

I think it's common knowledge the Wachowskis did not want to make that film, and Lana only agreed when it was clear it would be handed off to some incompetent corporate dipshit to totally ruin the franchise altogether. The whole film comes out as a revision of the flaws of the third film + a big fuck you to WB --"Yeah, we know you wanted more trendy shit, more fighting, bigger spectacles, lots of opportunities for buku merchandising, so instead we're gonna make it a love-letter to two aging heroes finding each other after all this time and elevating Trinity to Neo status because she didn't get the kudos she deserved in the earlier films and we're disappointed in ourselves for not making her importance clear enough the first time."

You almost CAN'T watch it seriously without that in mind, because otherwise it might feel horribly disappointing.

 

[The Cat]

You mean Matrix 4?

I think it's common knowledge the Wachowskis did not want to make that film, and Lana only agreed when it was clear it would be handed off to some incompetent corporate dipshit to totally ruin the franchise altogether. The whole film comes out as a revision of the flaws of the third film + a big fuck you to WB --"Yeah, we know you wanted more trendy shit, more fighting, bigger spectacles, lots of opportunities for buku merchandising, so instead we're gonna make it a love-letter to two aging heroes finding each other after all this time and elevating Trinity to Neo status because she didn't get the kudos she deserved in the earlier films and we're disappointed in ourselves for not making her importance clear enough the first time."

You almost CAN'T watch it seriously without that in mind, because otherwise it might feel horribly disappointing.

That does make it some better actually. It at least makes sense to me now.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

That does make it some better actually. It at least makes sense to me now.

Matrix 4 isn't a great movie; it feels slight and low stakes. I like it much better than Matrix 3, though. It gets across some of the key themes much better and answers nagging questions the third movie didn't really address.

I also think the Analyst was a pretty good villain, and I preferred him to all the Smith clones in Revolutions.

It's not better than the first or even second movie, though.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

 

[Totenkindly]