Random Star Wars Thoughts

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I am writing these reviews without seeing any other posts about these last two episodes of the Acolyte.

The Acolyte, Episode 7

This was mostly just table-setting and filling in the backstory via flashbacks. I finally did get to see a little bit of a Wookie fight as well as more of Master Indara. I didn't find the developments in these episode that shocking. It was just OK, overall.

The Acolyte Episode 8

This episode was, on the whole, excellent, with the caveat that there are, of course, dumb things. The fight between Sol and Qimir justifies the existence of this show. Between that and the Mae/Osha fight, I loved the way they created fights reminiscent of all the really great action scenes of the turn of the century. I loved that they brough it back and I'm glad I got to see something riveting and astounding, and now I really want to rewatch Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I also liked the emotional beats, and while I too have problems with the dialogue, I think the acting is solid. I felt deeply invested in Mae and Osha and I was thoroughly on their side. I cared about them, which is why this episode works for me. The series as a whole works well enough for me to still place it at the middle of the pack of these Disney+ series.

I also liked that this last episode mirrored the discussion we were having earlier about the Jedi and the Sith. This series makes it explicit that the Jedi are just hypocritical murderous pompous repressed fucks and I found myself on team Sith by the end of it. That senator was definitely in the right, by the way.

The dumb things:

I really hate the reciting verbatim of lines of dialogue from the original trilogy. The use of this in the trailer made me almost not watch the show. Whenever they do it, it makes me want to roll my eyes, as though I couldn't already figure out this was kind of like some situation from the original films. Maybe if they went with the PT and quoted "It's unfair, it's outrageous. How can you be on the Council and not be a Master?" in a comedic fashion I would be amused because of the meme-referencing. What if they had one of the Jedi having a heated discussion with another Jedi in the Temple and told them to "Take a seat!"? Something like that could work for me. (I want to work in Lucas's quote of how "It's like poetry, it rhymes", but I can't think of anything witty to do with it. )

Osha's blade turning red when she turns it on after joining the Dark Side caused problems for me. I suppose what we are seeing here is bleeding of the Kyber crystal, which was introduced into the lore after Disney acquired Lucasfilm. Anakin killed a bunch of kids and his saber didn't turn red. I'm wondering if the idea of bleeding Kyber crystals shouldn't have been introduced, given that this was already pre-existing in the canon. If this was how bleeding was intended to work it contradicts the films. I don't hate the concept itself but the inconsistency is glaring in a way that should be apparent to anyone who has even seen Episode III.

 

[Totenkindly]

now I really want to rewatch Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

Well, if you want to watch something that is actually good, that's the way to go. It actually has polished character beats in it plus some great fight sequences.

That fight between Michelle Yeoh and Zhang Ziyi in the middle of the film is just astonishing. Yeoh is so versatile as she runs through a boatload of oriental weapons against the Green Destiny. It was just mind-boggling to watch.

 

[The Cat]

I am not alone.​

 

[Totenkindly]

^^ Uh, aside from all the spoilers in that montage, I have to say it is pretty spot on especially realizing how terrible Star Wars is once you get some distance.

 

[The Cat]

^^ Uh, aside from all the spoilers in that montage, I have to say it is pretty spot on especially realizing how terrible Star Wars is once you get some distance.

Lol. Star Wars is like that ill advised relationship all your friends and family try to put you off of, but you, stars in your eyes, you just know, with the right amount of TLC, you could fix them. You could fix Star Wars, you just know it...but as time goes by you start catching little glances at yourself in the face of reflective surfaces, it gets harder and harder to convince yourself that you're still involved. That you even want to fix things at this point, because you finally realize what everyone was trying to tell you, and all the heart aches, and all the disspointments, and all the years later...you cant escape the truth....

Star Wars was just never really that into you.

Oh, and there we were all in one place
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack Flash sat on a candlestick
'Cause fire is the devil's only friend
Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in Hell
Could break that Satan's spell
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
I saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the music died
He was singing bye, bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey 'n rye
And singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die​

 

[The Cat]

"Hey kid, it aint that kinda movie."
lol, it took me a while, but I finally made it to the point Harrison Ford was at all along.
Turns out he was the true jedi master.​

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I am not alone.​

I like saber inflation. Very accurate.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I just want to watch a *good* story about Jedi that isn't "the empire wiped all of them out except for one and a couple in hiding". But for that story to be good, you'd have to be able to throw out all the lore that has built up around them over the years. One thing The Acolyte does do right is pointing out that following the Jedi code leads to some repressed weirdos. The thing is that it's accurate to the lore.

Star Wars was better when it was only three movies and you could have your own idea of what the Jedi were.

 

[The Cat]

 

[The Cat]

I just want to watch a *good* story about Jedi that isn't "the empire wiped all of them out except for one and a couple in hiding". But for that story to be good, you'd have to be able to throw out all the lore that has built up around them over the years. One thing The Acolyte does do right is pointing out that following the Jedi code leads to some repressed weirdos. The thing is that it's accurate to the lore.

Star Wars was better when it was only three movies and you could have your own idea of what the Jedi were.

No movie no show, can live up to the cool stories that fans and their friends come up with. Thats why the old EU worked so well for so long. The clone wars were the most awesome thing, an epic espionage war with clones of powerful jedi and sith, and civilians lots of spy games and infiltration and just so much tragic paranoia; before Lucas decided to literally make it traditional warfare, with a bunch of clones of one guy.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

No movie no show, can live up to the cool stories that fans and their friends come up with. Thats why the old EU worked so well for so long. The clone wars were the most awesome thing, an epic espionage war with clones of powerful jedi and sith, and civilians lots of spy games and infiltration and just so much tragic paranoia; before Lucas decided to literally make it traditional warfare, with a bunch of clones of one guy.

Remember how after Episode I came out, people thought everyone was a clone? There would be reveals about this in a later film.

It turned out all of the stuff about dual identities was just a red herring. I admit those theories would have been better.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

The Rise of Skywalker was on in the grocery store today. I bought a few chocolate truffle candies, so I ate them while hate-watching the movie. It was the end of the film, the part after Ben Solo comes back from the dead, when he dies again in Rey's arms. There were many terrible ideas in that movie. I had fun pointing them out to myself; it's hard to know what I hate the most.

In case anyone here doesn't know, I really hate this movie.

 

[The Cat]

The Rise of Skywalker was on in the grocery store today. I bought a few chocolate truffle candies, so I ate them while hate-watching the movie. It was the end of the film, the part after Ben Solo comes back from the dead, when he dies again in Rey's arms. There were many terrible ideas in that movie. I had fun pointing them out to myself; it's hard to know what I hate the most.

In case anyone here doesn't know, I really hate this movie.

Then you'll love this.​

 

[The Cat]

Hubris.
Kathleen Kennedy needs to make peace with the film adaptation of Congo being her masterpiece.

​

 

[Totenkindly]

Then you'll love this.​

aside from internet and bot shills and five year olds watching D+, is there anyone who actually liked it?]

That was the film that killed Star Wars for me for good. I've watched the TV shows afterwards, but mostly it's about after-death body spasms for me at this point.

Kathleen Kennedy needs to make peace with the film adaptation of Congo being her masterpiece.​

How dare you -- how dare you impugn the memory of our dear departed Michael Crichton, who poured his simian heart and soul into that book, by slapping Kennedy's name on it as her highest crowning achievement....!

He's rolling over in his grave. (Unless someone has spliced his DNA with a frog at some point and raised him and he's watching this chat as we speak.)

 

[The Cat]

aside from internet and bot shills and five year olds watching D+, is there anyone who actually liked it?]

That was the film that killed Star Wars for me for good. I've watched the TV shows afterwards, but mostly it's about after-death body spasms for me at this point.


How dare you -- how dare you impugn the memory of our dear departed Michael Crichton, who poured his simian heart and soul into that book, by slapping Kennedy's name on it as her highest crowning achievement....!

He's rolling over in his grave. (Unless someone has spliced his DNA with a frog at some point and raised him and he's watching this chat as we speak.)

Tim Curry, Del Roy Lindo, Ernie Hudson, Joe Pantoliano, Bruce Campbell. I liked the soundtrack. And then the fact that this is how I found the book Congo which is one of my favorite books of all time, I came to Michael Crichton for Jurassic Park, I stayed for Congo. I knew I was in for good with Eaters of the Dead.

But I'm pretty sure his soul hasnt known peace since Kelly Malcolm gymnasticized a velociraptor to death. He's only grown more vengeful with Jurrassic World franchise. That poor man.

"Amy want. Green drop. Drink."​

 

[The Cat]

I also got into Sesame cake because of this movie.
It seemed like it must be really good. Potentially to die for.
​

 

[The Cat]

Also whenever someone tells me they liked Episode IX I think they're setting up a joke of some kind. Or lying. To themselves more than to me.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

aside from internet and bot shills and five year olds watching D+, is there anyone who actually liked it?]

That was the film that killed Star Wars for me for good. I've watched the TV shows afterwards, but mostly it's about after-death body spasms for me at this point.

I think it struck a very deep blow in my abdomen. One that I survived, despite much blood loss, but which nevertheless permanently affected my viscera and has forever altered the way I eat food.

It's obvious they rushed it out so they could meet their desired earnings for that quarter. They knew they could put out absolute shit, because they knew people would go see it no matter what.

This is how I felt after watching the movie for the first time:

My favorite thing about the video with Jenny Nicholson is how she talks about how much the ending sucks. Not the climax, but the denouement. There are so many things that bothered me about that Tatooine scene and she mentioned all of them. I won't go over all of them, but l've always felt it was sad and depressing even though it was intended to play as triumphant. The message is terrible and confusing; she should have been with her friends; that's really what her family was. Instead, it places too much emphasis on something that's not important (a name), as is the case with so much else in that movie.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

This looks awful. I won't even watch this.

This must have been the pitch:

What if Star Wars had suburbs? And we imitated Stranger Things / 80's Spielberg films with them?

Dood, I like Star Wars precisely because it doesn't have suburbs. It's entirely unlike the suburbs. I don't want an adventure on the suburb planet.