what's a "real man"

[1487610420]

When y'all get married, I wanna be the flower girl!

is that code name for mistress

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Married? Does [MENTION=6723]phobik[/MENTION] have a beard?

Some of you may be catching on that I like beards just a little bit...

 

[1487610420]

 

[violet_crown]

Married? Does [MENTION=6723]phobik[/MENTION] have a beard?

Some of you may be catching on that I like beards just a little bit...

Dunno. He's definitely better looking than he acts though, so you could totally do worse.

YOU SEE ME WINGMANING OUT HERE IN THESE STREETS, [MENTION=6723]phobik[/MENTION]???

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Dunno. He's definitely better looking than he acts though, so you could totally do worse.

YOU SEE ME WINGMANING OUT HERE IN THESE STREETS, [MENTION=6723]phobik[/MENTION]???

Now I'm intrigued.

 

[1487610420]

 

[ceecee]

It won't be the most popular answer here but to me a real man is the one who steps up when someone needs to step up. That takes care of family or others he's responsible for. That does the adult stuff. Just the same way I do. I don't care about gender bullshit - when you decide to have a family, you do what needs doing. It makes no difference if it's a real man, real woman, real whatever the fuck. Just do it.

I have other feelings about fathers and children but that's not what we're discussing here.

 

[SiegfriedSchtauffen]

People have pretty much summed it up already. I strongly disagree with some definitions but I gave likes where I agreed. Some additional thoughts:

I think using the word "adult" just turns the original question into another one. At the same time "adult" is as abstract as the phrase "real man". "Adult" as it is used in an everyday context reminds me of a mediocre person who lost his/her childish playful side, dreams and authenticity.

Using "family" in the definition of the "real man" results in another subjective definition. It also suggests that James Bond and his action hero friends aren't "real men" which is arguable.

While "real man" is quite abstract most would agree that the good base would be a good and strong person. We could assemble a long list of good traits to define "strong" but my favourite short list is: conviction, willpower, and self-discipline when necessary.

 

[kelric]

For most people? What I actually hear is "I want someone that fulfills this arbitrary want/need right now!" or "I want someone that does this!"

Very little of it usually pertains to being a man.

I see it as a form of emotional/social manipulation directed at pride to get him to do what you want in the moment.

This. That's not to say that there isn't a societal concept of the image of an adult man that includes maturity, strength of character, etc.-- but when the phrase "real man" is being used, in my experience it's *always* used as a tool of manipulation.

I think using the word "adult" just turns the original question into another one. At the same time "adult" is as abstract as the phrase "real man". "Adult" as it is used in an everyday context reminds me of a mediocre person who lost his/her childish playful side, dreams and authenticity.

I don't see it the same way -- "adult" is a far-less emotionally loaded term -- in its regular usage, it *could* be used in the context that you describe, but more frequently it isn't. I'd say that someone described as an adult is either a) someone of a certain age ("legal adult") or b) someone who exhibits characteristics such as responsibility, self-control, reasonable self-sufficiency, and emotional resiliency.

 

[SiegfriedSchtauffen]

I don't see it the same way -- "adult" is a far-less emotionally loaded term -- in its regular usage, it *could* be used in the context that you describe, but more frequently it isn't. I'd say that someone described as an adult is either a) someone of a certain age ("legal adult") or b) someone who exhibits characteristics such as responsibility, self-control, reasonable self-sufficiency, and emotional resiliency.

Makes sense. It is probably better if this word is defined by someone more normal than I am. I'm not normal in any sense and I don't even want to be. With my standards very few people would be rewarded with "responsibility" or "self-sufficiency" and in my opinion most "adults" have the wrong kind of "self-control" and "emotional resiliency" to be successful in life.

 

[AveryFB]

Radical Feminism is turning men into pathetic little people. So good luck finding a "real man" lol

 

[StrawberryBoots]

Radical Feminism is turning men into pathetic little people. So good luck finding a "real man" lol

I respectfully disagree. Turn off the TV and go out.

 

[AveryFB]

I am not saying all men but a lot of guys are being brainwashed growing up into this cult of crazy feminists. Care to elaborate?

 

[Kanra Jest]

Outside of the mind, men are as physically man as woman are physically woman. But the mind is a different matter.

"Real Men" is just a stereotype. While it has 'some' basis it is still flawed and blown up. I think gentleman are more pleasant, personally.

 

[StrawberryBoots]

I am not saying all men but a lot of guys are being brainwashed growing up into this cult of crazy feminists. Care to elaborate?

I've only seen the excess you're describing on TV. What makes up a man is part instinct, among other things, including, mental fortitude. I don't believe there's a feminist in the world that has the power to change that. The biased media shows you what they want you to see. If you spend too much time online or watching TV, you could lose sight of reality.

 

[julesiscools]

Be a good person. That's pretty much my only expectation of a "real man".

 

[AveryFB]

God I wish I could find the clip and I will post it if I can I looked for a solid 15 minutes. But there is this clip where this little boy is just screaming about how much he hates men and how he is a feminist and how much he hates meninism and it is just a great example of what the radical feminists are making. I do not have a problem with equality but it has turned into more of a man hating movement in my opinion.

 

[StrawberryBoots]

and it is just a great example of what the radical feminists are making. I do not have a problem with equality but it has turned into more of a man hating movement in my opinion.

I understand.

 

[Coriolis]

God I wish I could find the clip and I will post it if I can I looked for a solid 15 minutes. But there is this clip where this little boy is just screaming about how much he hates men and how he is a feminist and how much he hates meninism and it is just a great example of what the radical feminists are making. I do not have a problem with equality but it has turned into more of a man hating movement in my opinion.

You know, there are videos out there with little kids singing happy birthday to Adolf Hitler on 20 April, and young boys shooting people in ISIS-held areas. You can find almost anything on the internet nowadays, especially if you are looking for it.

IME a "real man" can't be turned into anything he doesn't want to be. Same with a "real woman". I like the perspective of the various members who have equated this to simply being a responsible adult. Not coincidentally, women were not viewed as responsible adults until relatively recently, in law and in practice. Fortunately that has changed.

I never use this term, but instead say "be a grown-up" or just "grow up", if someone is being irresponsible, whiny, and otherwise not stepping up to life's challenges.

 

[StrawberryBoots]

you hear the phrase "a real man" thrown around, by both women and men at times

as in "I want a real man" or "be a man" said in a manner that indicates such

The trite phrases people use to hurt each other should be seen for what they are, evil. I want to tell people who've been told such lies, don't take foolish words to heart, as there's a lock for every key and somebody will love you for you, believe it.

what is "a real man"?

is this an attainable standard?

does this perception make it more difficult to be a man?

does it cause problems?

curious, because as a woman, I'm not quite aware as to how this would effect men... I can assume, but we all know what that does

There isn't a concrete answer to your questions because ideals and preferences will vary from person to person and culture to culture.