[ESFJ] Male ESFJs...

[Saslou]

I'm not sure if this is the appropriate thread to ask, but are we compatible with a female ENTJ? I hear those are rare too. I realize that is broad, but I'm always looking for advice. This stuff is really new to me, but as I have begun learning about it, it explains so much!

Best.

Hello darling .. Nice to have you onboard

People usually say stay away as total opposites .. But my BFF is ENTJ, we have a great time together and there is little to no communication problems.
We have a lot of fun and laughs and can have some pretty interesting and deep conversations. Worldisquiet (Female ESFJ) on here is dating a ENTJ so she may be able to give you some more info on that.

See ya around

 

[Ulaes]

Hello darling .. Nice to have you onboard

:horor: they're multiplying!!




about time.

 

[wrldisquiethere]

I'm not sure if this is the appropriate thread to ask, but are we compatible with a female ENTJ? I hear those are rare too. I realize that is broad, but I'm always looking for advice. This stuff is really new to me, but as I have begun learning about it, it explains so much!

Best.

Hello darling .. Nice to have you onboard

People usually say stay away as total opposites .. But my BFF is ENTJ, we have a great time together and there is little to no communication problems.
We have a lot of fun and laughs and can have some pretty interesting and deep conversations. Worldisquiet (Female ESFJ) on here is dating a ENTJ so she may be able to give you some more info on that.

See ya around

:hi: Yes. My ENTJ boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half now and we have a good relationship. To be honest, though, not to pat ourselves on the back, but we both are pretty mature and balanced individuals so that makes our differences easier.

It seems weird because our cognitive functions are completely opposite yet we get along great and actually relate to each other in a lot of ways. I'm not sure I can quite explain how it works so well. Even though we see and interpret the world in different ways, we still have a lot in common and don't necessary think of ourselves as being that different in many ways.

One of the keys that keeps us together, I believe, is both of us being willing to make sacrifices for the other and letting go of the desire to control. If we both gave in and tried to control or manipulate the other person it would be a disaster.

I admire my ENTJ very much and he has taught me a lot. He admires me, as well, and I believe he learns things from me, too.

If you have more specific questions I'd be glad to answer.

 

[wrldisquiethere]

To be fair, I'm reevaluating whether I'm ESFJ or ISFJ and starting to lean towards ISFJ. But ISFJ and ESFJ have the exact same functions, just with a bit of a different order, so this should still apply.

 

[Billy]

Okay, now I must propose a question. After all this talk about female ISTPs, who apparently behave like tomboys, does anyone know of any male ESFJs? If so, how do they behave?

(And I mean male ESFJs who are really ESFJs, not Nocturne. )

EDIT: This isn't a joke topic. I'm really interested in some perspective.

I know only 1, he is gay, highly flamboyant and gaining weight like a black hole every day his ass is getting bigger and bigger... he has no personal self control and he is a notorious big mouth and emotional manipulator. He is also dating my brother. I would like to smash his head with a rock.

 

[JTG1984]

I know only 1, he is gay, highly flamboyant and gaining weight like a black hole every day his ass is getting bigger and bigger... he has no personal self control and he is a notorious big mouth and emotional manipulator. He is also dating my brother. I would like to smash his head with a rock.

You always sound so positive.

 

[southern_lawyer]

I appreciate y'alls comments. Thank you! It's hard to convey, but I have a good male friend who is an ENTJ and he is somewhat different than this female ENTJ. I wonder how a female ESFJ-male ENTJ relationship compares with a female ENTJ-male ESFJ relationship. I hope that made sense...

I know only 1, he is gay, highly flamboyant and gaining weight like a black hole every day his ass is getting bigger and bigger... he has no personal self control and he is a notorious big mouth and emotional manipulator. He is also dating my brother. I would like to smash his head with a rock.

It sounds like while we male ESFJ's are small in number, we have a wide range! That description doesn't really fit me at all, ha. I don't think so anyways.

 

[Ulaes]

the male esfj im closest too can be easily described as regina george in a males body.

the other two aren't as bitchy but are still extremely socially conscious. i find esjf guys are just as concerned about wearing the right things to the right occasion as the girls are.

and wow, do they talk alot.

 

[StephMC]

My sister is dating one. He's one of the most social people I've ever met....to the point where he wears out my sister... who's an ENFP . And he's a little metro. But other than those two potentially annoying things (from an ISTP perspective), I like him a lot. He's pretty funny. And he organizes well.

 

[Ulaes]

He's one of the most social people I've ever met....And he organizes well.

yeah, in high school i was in a trio with an esfj guy and an entp girl. the esfj would always plan our outings.

he had his flaws but he also had a very caring nature that come through.

 

[wildcat]

Okay, now I must propose a question. After all this talk about female ISTPs, who apparently behave like tomboys, does anyone know of any male ESFJs? If so, how do they behave?

(And I mean male ESFJs who are really ESFJs, not Nocturne. )

EDIT: This isn't a joke topic. I'm really interested in some perspective.

When you are down and out, they give you food and shelter.
They are the best kind of people.

 

[lookingglassworld]

They're very giving and loving hearted but not afraid to show emotion(i.e. cry or any gentle emotion.) Instead of being considered a doormat for his generosity and kindness,he is strong-willed very much his own man. His childhood was filled with neglect of love and kindness. So he was determined to be a better man,husband,and father. He's everything I admire and aspire to be. Enough of being maudlin,we do clash regularly and hard! I love my freedom and he just can't seem to help himself,he likes to control! He is protective and all for for his family. We're proof positive that with alot of hardwork and compromise that you can make a serious relationship work. Just consider my type(6 years in January and one beautiful, little girl) But that's just my opinion.

 

[SubjectA]

Sorry to bring up an old thread, but I am new and am a male ESFJ. 25 years old as well pure_mercury. I just recently read somewhere that we're just around 1-2ish% of males? Reading the previous posts I see a lot of myself in the descriptions of y'alls friends and the couple of y'all that are male ESFJs as well. It's interesting reading about y'alls relationships. My last relationship was 11 months with her ending it. I don't really speak to her anymore, but I feel it is merited! I suppose that fits with my personality...ha. I have to confess too that as a teenager I took very seriously fitting the stereotypical "guy" mold, as my friends were your typical competitive, aggressive teenage boys so I had to fit in, but as I have gotten older I have gotten more comfortable with myself and confident so I am just more myself nowadays. It's not that I'm feminine or don't have a lot of the stereotypical "guy" traits (love college football, hunting and fishing, etc.), but I don't suppress my feelings, sentimentality, and emotions near as much as I used to.

I'm not sure if this is the appropriate thread to ask, but are we compatible with a female ENTJ? I hear those are rare too. I realize that is broad, but I'm always looking for advice. This stuff is really new to me, but as I have begun learning about it, it explains so much!

Best.

If you follow the MBTI like it's the Bible, then no, you're not compatible.

If you're a half-way rational being, than yes, you guys can make it work. If a female INTJ and a male ISFJ can get along well, I don't see why an ENTJ/ESFJ relationship can't work.

The great thing about an ENTJ female is that she probably wouldn't be put off by the fact that you don't exactly fit the guy stereotype. She would actually prefer that you don't, because traditional molds usually tend to annoy NT's anyway.

The only struggle I can picture is a struggle for power. ENTJ's can be bossy and overbearing, and ESFJ's (from my experience) like to have control, too. Both of you will have to learn to let the other take the reins every now and then.

Oh, and since I think it's more of a J thing, watch out for the battle of the egos. I know my fiance and I have that problem, as both of us have a hard time admiting that we could be wrong. Just realize that in the grand scheme of things, it probably doesn't matter anyway.

Hope that helps.

 

[wrldisquiethere]

If you follow the MBTI like it's the Bible, then no, you're not compatible.

If you're a half-way rational being, than yes, you guys can make it work. If a female INTJ and a male ISFJ can get along well, I don't see why an ENTJ/ESFJ relationship can't work.

The great thing about an ENTJ female is that she probably wouldn't be put off by the fact that you don't exactly fit the guy stereotype. She would actually prefer that you don't, because traditional molds usually tend to annoy NT's anyway.

The only struggle I can picture is a struggle for power. ENTJ's can be bossy and overbearing, and ESFJ's (from my experience) like to have control, too. Both of you will have to learn to let the other take the reins every now and then.

Oh, and since I think it's more of a J thing, watch out for the battle of the egos. I know my fiance and I have that problem, as both of us have a hard time admiting that we could be wrong. Just realize that in the grand scheme of things, it probably doesn't matter anyway.

Hope that helps.

+1

I'd also second what she said about an ENTJ appreciating the things that may make you a bit atypical from other males. I am somewhat atypical from other females (feminine but I don't fit a lot of the stereotypes and I'm not a girly girl) and this is something my ENTJ is very attracted to. I think an ENTJ will appreciate an ESFJ's practical nature, too...they're also likely to appreciate how responsible ESFJs are and how devoted they are to loved ones.

One thing I think is fun with the ENTJ/ESFJ relationship we have is that my boyfriend loves to have things scheduled and planned out but often doesn't want to be the one to do it himself. He likes giving me his work schedule and then letting us plan fun outings or social activities around it.

 

[Saslou]

I appreciate y'alls comments. Thank you! It's hard to convey, but I have a good male friend who is an ENTJ and he is somewhat different than this female ENTJ. I wonder how a female ESFJ-male ENTJ relationship compares with a female ENTJ-male ESFJ relationship. I hope that made sense...

I would never jeopardize my friendship with my best friend ENTJ because he is my best friend, but i imagine it would be pretty intense. He doesn't put up any walls around me and says it how it is .. We speak so openly and honestly on all subjects.

When you are down and out, they give you food and shelter.
They are the best kind of people.

Awwww .. That's sweet.

 

[Giggly]

I appreciate y'alls comments. Thank you! It's hard to convey, but I have a good male friend who is an ENTJ and he is somewhat different than this female ENTJ. I wonder how a female ESFJ-male ENTJ relationship compares with a female ENTJ-male ESFJ relationship. I hope that made sense...

Oooooo I think you should give it a try. I could see this really working out well. I don't know any ENTJ's so I can't really comment from experience, but how do you feel about the ENTJ's reputation of being so domineering? Is that something you'd find attractive or unattractive?

 

[southern_lawyer]

Hmm...I'm really easy-going when it comes to about anything and generally don't mind the domineering personality, except in some spiritual matters I guess. I'm a big believer in the male being the spiritual leader in a relationship.

 

[Ulaes]

Hmm...I'm really easy-going when it comes to about anything and generally don't mind the domineering personality, except in some spiritual matters I guess. I'm a big believer in the male being the spiritual leader in a relationship.

what does it mean to be the spiritual leader in a relationship?

 

[southern_lawyer]

Well, as I have reached my mid-twenties and am still not married, I try to avoid casually dating anymore and try to only date girls that I could see myself marrying. That kind of requires having some common beliefs on spiritual matters before jumping into a relationship. I think with that mentality I respect women a lot more and therefore no longer think constantly about my lustful desires but rather strive for sexual purity in relationships, and pursue God together. I realize that I have come to these conclusions because of my past experiences and relationships and not everyone else has come to the same conclusions I have. To me, being the spiritual leader in a relationship means taking the initiative in keeping the relationship pure, sometimes taking the initiative in avoiding situations that could lead to impurity. It means taking the initiative in praying together, and in bible study. I'm sorry to get all spiritual on here, I didn't mean for that to happen! I hope I don't sound too naive...

 

[wrldisquiethere]

Well, as I have reached my mid-twenties and am still not married, I try to avoid casually dating anymore and try to only date girls that I could see myself marrying. That kind of requires having some common beliefs on spiritual matters before jumping into a relationship. I think with that mentality I respect women a lot more and therefore no longer think constantly about my lustful desires but rather strive for sexual purity in relationships, and pursue God together. I realize that I have come to these conclusions because of my past experiences and relationships and not everyone else has come to the same conclusions I have. To me, being the spiritual leader in a relationship means taking the initiative in keeping the relationship pure, sometimes taking the initiative in avoiding situations that could lead to impurity. It means taking the initiative in praying together, and in bible study. I'm sorry to get all spiritual on here, I didn't mean for that to happen! I hope I don't sound too naive...

I have a lot of the same views myself so I understand what you're saying. Is the girl you are pursuing on the same page as you are with Christianity? If so, she is likely to appreciate these things.