Lolita
New member
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2016
- Messages
- 7
- MBTI Type
- unkn
- Enneagram
- 4w3
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
ENTJ,ENTP,xSTx-these are the types I never got.
I am incredibly confused!
I filled this out-
Disclaimer: How are you doing? Are there any major life events/illnesses/other issues that might be influencing you? Did you write this in one sitting, or have you pondered these issues deeply? Give us a sense of "where you're at" right now.
I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. I am a student.I live with my parents-my dad is EXTREMELY controlling and abusive.I live in India,which is a rather conservative country,and I absolutely don't fit in here.
I wrote this in one sitting, but I pondered a lot too.
(Note that some of these issues may be very personal, and if you'd prefer not to share, it's perfectly acceptable to skip questions.)
------------
0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
I have a good intuition,which made me guess INFJ or INTJ. But I am neither Fe nor Te! I could relate to Se too,but I think before taking decisions and am logical,which makes me lean towards the Thinkers.But I am INCREDIBLY emotional...
I am very confused.
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
So bored that I feel very depressed.I deliberately kick fights with my parents,behave badly and just crave and create drama so that people behave badly with me and I cry.At least I get to feel a definite emotion.
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
Conflicted.Unsure.I am searching for myself.Also,you get to read and understand people and appreciate preety things and moments.
b. What have others said about you?
Wildly different opinions.
Some think I am the arrogant,rude topper.
Others opine I am a fragile,good person.
A quarter thinks I am a cold player who is inwardly wild and has little moral values.
The quiet girl who socialises only when she needs to.
c. What do you think of yourself?
An artist who is troubled. A nature lover and beauty worshipper. Someone who lusts after older,richer men in her fantasies and CRAVES fame and freedom. Music lover. Someone who is trying to find herself.
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
Depression_I crave the pleasure-seeking,vintage,glam millionaire life so much that my drab relity makes me suicidal. Also,I have to deal with my dominating father.I hate being controlled.
Society.The country I live in doesn't give freedom to women. You are supposed to dress conservatively so much so that you go to the beach fully dressed.You don't party.You stay a virgin.I HATE it. My biggest goal in life is to run away from this place.
Also,I sometimes feel depressed without any reason.I seem to ALMOST remember things but just can't-which is weird,because I am not old enough to have memories and I am NEVER teh one to sit back and relish the past.
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
Being an a$$hole. Being straightforward.Loving debates.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
Boldness and confidence.
I am braver and have a higher self-esteem than ever before but I want to be unapologetic. Not care about what others think.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
They betrayed me.
Or worse,they tried to limit me.
Maybe they laughed at me,values and dreams I hold close to my heart.
It's tough for me to leave others.
Nobody has left me up till now.
6. Which types do you identify with most?
xxFP
a. How do you relate to these types?
Artistic.Dreamy.Individualistic.Emotional.
b. How do you NOT relate to them?
Am I bold enough?
7. Which types are least like you?
ExTx
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
They are so direct!
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
They love the spotlight and so do I.
8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
Love?...this is tough...
I dream of impossible fairy tales,though I don't forget reality.
I expect my man to be possessive and VERY loyal.
But quite honestly,I don't think I can return that.I have a high libido.It's like...I love ONE man but sleep around with many.This,obviously,causes drama.And I love drama.
My favourite fantasy is the brooding,intense,broken-hearted millionaire.
I fell in true,serious love only once.He was nothing like my fantasy.He was a nice,decent guy.Down to earth.Not dramatic.I have been obsessed with him for years.
9. What is the message your superego tells you?
Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego (i.e. YOU) is receiving negative feedback from your superego. Write a conversation between the two of them--what is your superego telling you about how to be? (Note: this obviously is very personal and may be better done privately. Report your findings).
Even tougher question...
HUGE fight! Nobody wants to give in!
My superego wants me to be less mean,less cruel,less hurting,more understanding.
For the following, rank the issues in the order they apply and give a brief description of why and how you relate.
10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
I strive to be artistic and individualistic.
Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
1. to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative.I want to stand out and create a very unique and gorgeous image for myself.Something iconic,something legendary.
2. to be accomplished and successful.Fame is what I desire the most.As mentioned earlier, I dream of the glam millionaire life.
3. to be powerful, strong, unassailable.People don't speak against my adventurous,glamorous ways.
4. to be knowlegeable.I want to travel and learn through adventures,meet new people.
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
Here are some common "felt senses" of life:
1. I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed.
2. I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and underving of attention
3. I feel imperfect, not (good) enough
4. I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate
5. I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things
12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:
1. Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost
2. Rejection, being needy, and not being loved
3. Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough
4. Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious
Any help?
Thanks in advance!
I am incredibly confused!
I filled this out-
Disclaimer: How are you doing? Are there any major life events/illnesses/other issues that might be influencing you? Did you write this in one sitting, or have you pondered these issues deeply? Give us a sense of "where you're at" right now.
I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. I am a student.I live with my parents-my dad is EXTREMELY controlling and abusive.I live in India,which is a rather conservative country,and I absolutely don't fit in here.
I wrote this in one sitting, but I pondered a lot too.
(Note that some of these issues may be very personal, and if you'd prefer not to share, it's perfectly acceptable to skip questions.)
------------
0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
I have a good intuition,which made me guess INFJ or INTJ. But I am neither Fe nor Te! I could relate to Se too,but I think before taking decisions and am logical,which makes me lean towards the Thinkers.But I am INCREDIBLY emotional...
I am very confused.
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
So bored that I feel very depressed.I deliberately kick fights with my parents,behave badly and just crave and create drama so that people behave badly with me and I cry.At least I get to feel a definite emotion.
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
Conflicted.Unsure.I am searching for myself.Also,you get to read and understand people and appreciate preety things and moments.
b. What have others said about you?
Wildly different opinions.
Some think I am the arrogant,rude topper.
Others opine I am a fragile,good person.
A quarter thinks I am a cold player who is inwardly wild and has little moral values.
The quiet girl who socialises only when she needs to.
c. What do you think of yourself?
An artist who is troubled. A nature lover and beauty worshipper. Someone who lusts after older,richer men in her fantasies and CRAVES fame and freedom. Music lover. Someone who is trying to find herself.
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
Depression_I crave the pleasure-seeking,vintage,glam millionaire life so much that my drab relity makes me suicidal. Also,I have to deal with my dominating father.I hate being controlled.
Society.The country I live in doesn't give freedom to women. You are supposed to dress conservatively so much so that you go to the beach fully dressed.You don't party.You stay a virgin.I HATE it. My biggest goal in life is to run away from this place.
Also,I sometimes feel depressed without any reason.I seem to ALMOST remember things but just can't-which is weird,because I am not old enough to have memories and I am NEVER teh one to sit back and relish the past.
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
Being an a$$hole. Being straightforward.Loving debates.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
Boldness and confidence.
I am braver and have a higher self-esteem than ever before but I want to be unapologetic. Not care about what others think.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
They betrayed me.
Or worse,they tried to limit me.
Maybe they laughed at me,values and dreams I hold close to my heart.
It's tough for me to leave others.
Nobody has left me up till now.
6. Which types do you identify with most?
xxFP
a. How do you relate to these types?
Artistic.Dreamy.Individualistic.Emotional.
b. How do you NOT relate to them?
Am I bold enough?
7. Which types are least like you?
ExTx
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
They are so direct!
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
They love the spotlight and so do I.
8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
Love?...this is tough...
I dream of impossible fairy tales,though I don't forget reality.
I expect my man to be possessive and VERY loyal.
But quite honestly,I don't think I can return that.I have a high libido.It's like...I love ONE man but sleep around with many.This,obviously,causes drama.And I love drama.
My favourite fantasy is the brooding,intense,broken-hearted millionaire.
I fell in true,serious love only once.He was nothing like my fantasy.He was a nice,decent guy.Down to earth.Not dramatic.I have been obsessed with him for years.
9. What is the message your superego tells you?
Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego (i.e. YOU) is receiving negative feedback from your superego. Write a conversation between the two of them--what is your superego telling you about how to be? (Note: this obviously is very personal and may be better done privately. Report your findings).
Even tougher question...
HUGE fight! Nobody wants to give in!
My superego wants me to be less mean,less cruel,less hurting,more understanding.
For the following, rank the issues in the order they apply and give a brief description of why and how you relate.
10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
I strive to be artistic and individualistic.
Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
1. to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative.I want to stand out and create a very unique and gorgeous image for myself.Something iconic,something legendary.
2. to be accomplished and successful.Fame is what I desire the most.As mentioned earlier, I dream of the glam millionaire life.
3. to be powerful, strong, unassailable.People don't speak against my adventurous,glamorous ways.
4. to be knowlegeable.I want to travel and learn through adventures,meet new people.
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
Here are some common "felt senses" of life:
1. I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed.
2. I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and underving of attention
3. I feel imperfect, not (good) enough
4. I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate
5. I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things
12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:
1. Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost
2. Rejection, being needy, and not being loved
3. Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough
4. Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious
Any help?
Thanks in advance!
