[INTJ] ENFPS and INTJs

[chubber]

Brazilians are so easy to scare, any superstitious people will be easily to scare.

 

[Virtual ghost]

ENFPs, how do you deal with the so called "dead INTJ eyes" ?

 

[Hapyniss]

ENFPs, how do you deal with the so called "dead INTJ eyes" ?

Well, it's a bit easier when someone takes the time to first understand that it's not a death stare, or dead eyes. I actually like it a lot, that intense glare. It actually lets me know that I've done/said something that is making him think, and think hard. It got his attention and caught him off gaurd. I like having that effect on him. He likes me having that effect on him too.

How would you be effected by someone that understood that about you? How about if they said things that made you think or caught you off gaurd?

 

[Coriolis]

How would you be effected by someone that understood that about you? How about if they said things that made you think or caught you off gaurd?

I always enjoy people who say things that make me think, whether I am caught off guard or can see it coming. In fact, if they don't, I consider them poor company and won't want to waste time with them. Having someone understand how to interpret facial expressions like that one, however, would bother me unless I know the person well and like them. If my INTP or my best friend can do it - fine; everyone at work, or the neighbors, or the clerk at the grocery store - not so fine.

 

[Virtual ghost]

How would you be effected by someone that understood that about you? How about if they said things that made you think or caught you off gaurd?

Probably I would just continue the converation, I have a tendency to ignore more subtle body language. That is exactly why I am likely to make a wrong pose.


I really like when people have the capaticity to make me think.
However it is impossible to trully catch me of guard since I have seen too many things in life and therefore you can't really shock me with content.

 

[Ribonuke]

Forgive me, but I've NEVER seen an instance where an INTJ and an ENFP actually works out; from what I've seen, they eventually just grate on each others' nerves too much. The cold, compartmentalized, aloof side of the INTJ tends to make ENFPs feel threatened, especially when INTJ's Ni makes them feel that an Ne-based idea has been dismissed out of hand; when the ENFP inevitably lashes out to defend the values they feel have been violated, this comes across to INTJs as a form of a sudden bout of irrational psychosis. Not helping matters is the ENFP tendency to panic more readily than, say, an INTJ in response to something unpleasant; if INTJs can't stand something, it's being yelled at for trying to encourage someone to calm down and think things through rationally.

Not to say INTJs can't be "dicks", but the breakdown in communication is still usually a two-way street.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

My ENFP sister has been married to her INTJ husband for over 30 years. Sure, she has made his life very interesting, for good and ill. He usually has a confused look on his face regarding her.

But he is completely lost without her. This Spring she went to visit family and he was completely befuddled by himself..

She is very grateful for his patience and stability. He needed every drop of it....

 

[TSDesigner]

the ENFP tendency to panic more readily than, say, an INTJ in response to something unpleasant

INTJ's never panic.

 

[lulabelle]

Forgive me, but I've NEVER seen an instance where an INTJ and an ENFP actually works out; from what I've seen, they eventually just grate on each others' nerves too much. The cold, compartmentalized, aloof side of the INTJ tends to make ENFPs feel threatened, especially when INTJ's Ni makes them feel that an Ne-based idea has been dismissed out of hand; when the ENFP inevitably lashes out to defend the values they feel have been violated, this comes across to INTJs as a form of a sudden bout of irrational psychosis. Not helping matters is the ENFP tendency to panic more readily than, say, an INTJ in response to something unpleasant; if INTJs can't stand something, it's being yelled at for trying to encourage someone to calm down and think things through rationally.

Not to say INTJs can't be "dicks", but the breakdown in communication is still usually a two-way street.

Nah, it's a very very common longlasting pairing. INFPs are the one whose relationships never work out.

 

[Poki]

Forgive me, but I've NEVER seen an instance where an INTJ and an ENFP actually works out; from what I've seen, they eventually just grate on each others' nerves too much. The cold, compartmentalized, aloof side of the INTJ tends to make ENFPs feel threatened, especially when INTJ's Ni makes them feel that an Ne-based idea has been dismissed out of hand; when the ENFP inevitably lashes out to defend the values they feel have been violated, this comes across to INTJs as a form of a sudden bout of irrational psychosis. Not helping matters is the ENFP tendency to panic more readily than, say, an INTJ in response to something unpleasant; if INTJs can't stand something, it's being yelled at for trying to encourage someone to calm down and think things through rationally.

Not to say INTJs can't be "dicks", but the breakdown in communication is still usually a two-way street.

My parents are enfp and intj. They have been married for almost 40 years now. All of the grating does happen. It does create a huge disconnect and bitterness. It creates a distance. Alot of bitching at each other. Nothing serious though in magnitude. From my observations I want alot more from a relationship then what they have due to these issues that cause the distancing between them.

 

[five sounds]

Nah, it's a very very common longlasting pairing. INFPs are the one whose relationships never work out.

/e4

 

[andresimon]

Do you think some ENFPs prefer INTJs to INTPs because they find them easier to hold under their spell? Why do ENFPs often have antipathy towards INTPs? As an ISFJ, I'm not intellectually capable enough to grasp this for myself.

Keep in mind that I'm not speaking of all ENFPS; I'm only referring to certain individuals within the type. It's a pattern I've noticed with some ENFPs, but because I'm a sensor, I can't really grasp what it means.

ENFP's and INTP generally get a long but we do have some conflicting functions. ENFP's and INTJ's however are a much better match. An individuals experience with this won't say much about the probabilistic outcomes of relationships.

 

[Poki]

My ENFP sister has been married to her INTJ husband for over 30 years. Sure, she has made his life very interesting, for good and ill. He usually has a confused look on his face regarding her.

But he is completely lost without her. This Spring she went to visit family and he was completely befuddled by himself..

She is very grateful for his patience and stability. He needed every drop of it....

My dad is like this, my mom spends alot of time doing her own thing though. He usually ends up on the couch while she runs around everywhere doing things. Gardening, heading to see parents, playing cards, etc. He doesn't really like getting out much and is a homebody. We joke around when I show up and it's just him....Home alone 5 million 357. She used to have me take her out to dinner because she wanted to go out and not alone.

He wouldn't know what to do without her, she would miss him, but would have a life easily. I think this bothers him, but he doesn't do any of this with her so she is usually on her own anyway.

 

[Hapyniss]

INTJ's never panic.

Whatever

 

[Evee]

Nah, it's a very very common longlasting pairing. INFPs are the one whose relationships never work out.

True.

Nice avatar.

 

[Edgar]

INTJ's never panic.

INTJs are just as vulnerable as any other type. I bet you freak out as much as any run-of-the-mill ESFJ, you just don't do it in public because of "muh precious impassive facade"

 

[Amargith]

INTJ's never panic.

I'll admit that my INTJ is usually my rock. But over the years, I certainly have had to take on his role. Usually it occurs when it concerns a major life change that has snuck up on them. Suddenly, their five year plan doesn't look like they planned it, and they can get really miffed (and temporarily lost) about not being the perfect visionary and planner. It seems to affect their confidence and they do panic. Meanwhile, an ENFP is more likely to go 'oh cool, that's an interesting twist, let's check it out all the opportunities it created!' so it becomes easier for us to actually drag you along and check things out while telling you that you didn't fail for not seeing this coming - nobody could've. I've walked him through things like that step by step before, seeing him go from panic to regaining his footing, to actually being curious and seeing him put that beautiful mind of his to the job of integrating the change into his master plan.

Interestingly, the emotionally grieving and accepting part takes the longest, and there is a tendency to (if you dig) sulk that things didn't go according to how they wanted them (need for control?), but even that evaporates, especially if you point out all the extras this amazing opportunity provided them with. Once, we were even able to dovetail the situation with the previous master plan. Then he got aggravated at all the unnecessary panic the situation had caused him

I love my rock, but I also love that my rock doesn't have too much pride to switch roles when he needs to

I'll admit that it feels weird to be the rock and it is exhausting to do non-stop, but I'm perfectly capable of being there for him when he needs me. And I'm glad that he trusts me to do that for him.