[NT] Embarrassed by Displays of Emotion?

[Lady_X]

^^ blue...i'm a lil girl at heart too...a lil girl who says what's on her mind all the time without realizing how inappropriate it is.

i am completely uncomfortable with negative emotions...like sadness...i hate to be comforted...i feel like i'm supposed to behave a certain way...and that hug...how long is it supposed to last...and it just makes it worse

so i can do happy...and mad...if i'm really mad...but i don't like sad

 

[kyuuei]

>.o I can't say I find it embarrassing all the time? In the situation you described, I'm more likely to be sympathetic for the two women. Outrageous behavior can be highly embarrassing for me though. Case in point: When my Aunt comes to visit our house and my neighbor gets arrested and electrocuted in our front yard.. Something that seems to reflect on my neighbor badly embarrasses me, as does ignorant drunken behavior at times. (There's a definite line between having fun and being creepy/rude)

 

[runvardh]

To the OP I usually roll my eyes and shake my head - if they want to be 'tards let them. I do get overly embarrassed at over dramatic emotions in movies, though. This is why most popular comedy I have an issue with while I laugh my ass of at people getting pounded on and beheaded.

 

[violaine]

To the OP: Eww, yes. I *can* keep it together and comfort if need be but all the while I feel very agitated... I can feel what they're feeling - they seem 'naked' to me (and undignified, though I do feel bad for thinking that of others). It's more the case with public displays of overdone emotions. I have learned to be ok with pretty much any displays in private. Not manipulative crying or temper tantrums though.

I am very private in my reactions, e.g. I wait until I'm alone to cry if at all possible. It's part of the reason why I would also prefer to elope rather than have a massive wedding should that happen.

 

[Wild horses]

Despite being a Feeler I am like Erina in that I am comfortable displaying positive emotions but not negative ones... what's with that however, I don't usually have negative emotions when I am around people.. it's almost like I can be really upset oneminute but as soon as I see someone and begin interacting I get completely distracted and enthusiastic about their very presence so I suppose this is what's it's like to be a feeler AND very enthusiastic about people!!

 

[Totenkindly]

I am conflicted on this topic.
On the one hand, I admire people who can be open and honest about how they feel, because I am a bit of a coward in such matters and I recognize it as a failing on my part. I also find enthusiasm and passion in others appealing.

On the other, it can really creep me out and disgust me - if it goes too far. I'm not sure where that invisible dividing line is, at what point it stops being charming and starts being mawkish and barf-inducing. Or whether this is a subconscious reaction to perceived disingenuousness?

Yes, that sort of sums it up for me, except nowadays I am much much better at dealing with people's emotions because I think I don't try to take responsibility for them.

I think one factor is the "boundary" issue. I can handle people expressing their emotions, but I don't like it when emotions assault my boundaries or other people's boundaries, or are used manipulatively, or when people seem to be demanding that I be responding with the same emotions they're expressing or something's wrong with me. Both anger and smarm can sometimes just "gush" all over other people and then it's intrusive to me.

I can't be around people given to emotional displays for very long, I find it draining. But equally being around people who are too cool and detached can be frustrating and demotivating.

I agree with that too. Both extremes get old; one's exhausting, the other leaves me numb.

 

[GargoylesLegacy]

Embarrassed by Displays of Emotion?

If it is Others doing it...well, sometimes, yes. I dun exactly like those People who are all over-emo. Have some Persons like that in between my *Friends* and they just start to annoy me somewhen, because they become al "Ooooh, I am sooooo pooooor, bohoo". That's just...IDK, after a While I get annoyed, because in the Time People complain and cry, they could have figured out a Way to make "it" better.

If it's about me...sometimes, yep. It depends a Bit.

 

[Salomé]

Yeah, not everyone does drunk posting as well as Jennifer....

 

[Totenkindly]

Yeah, not everyone does drunk posting as well as Jennifer....

*crawls in hole*

Let it be said, though, I have always been a ________ drunk. (fill in all words from below)
- Happy
- Goofy
- Silly
- Quirky

 

[Darjur]

Embarrassment? No. Annoyance. people with emotional outbursts are the people I have no intention of associating myself with, they are people who I generally detest.

If that happens to the opposing side of a debate, or something similar to that, where I actually take an active part in the whole ordeal, it basically completely destroys any value of credibility and respect I feel for that person unless I see a pretty darn good reason for the said behavior. If the emotional outbursts go to the "extreme" ends of the spectrum I tend to even go the infamous ways of argumentum ad hominem.

 

[kaboom]

I would have felt the same...very embarrassed about seeing both the arguing and the tears.
I was raised by two feeling type parents.
My sister is also an INTP and she and I would be regularly mortified by the way our parents interacted and how they interacted with us.

 

[foodeater]

I can't watch embarrassing things on TV without feeling more embarrassed for them than they probably 'are'. I always used to change the channel when I knew something was going to happen. I can handle it now, but embarrassment in any form is still painful for me.

 

[Amargith]

I think one factor is the "boundary" issue. I can handle people expressing their emotions, but I don't like it when emotions assault my boundaries or other people's boundaries, or are used manipulatively, or when people seem to be demanding that I be responding with the same emotions they're expressing or something's wrong with me. Both anger and smarm can sometimes just "gush" all over other people and then it's intrusive to me.

That's interesting. Can you give a concrete example of both situations? One of where emotions do not offend your boundaries and one where you feel 'invaded' by emotion?

 

[Orangey]

Wow, I didn't even know that this thread got resurrected! Awesome!

At any rate, I had an experience the other day that reminded me of this subject. I was on the bus going home from the university, and this older woman sitting a couple of rows in front of me was talking on her cellphone. I usually try to space out as much as possible on these bis rides (because I kind of hate them), but she was talking extremely loud, almost to the point of screaming, and so I couldn't help but have my attention constantly raped by her annoying voice. At a certain point, her voice and manner became so animated that everyone began looking at her, and she just broke suddenly into these outrageously dramatic tears.

I was torn between amusement (I get a sort of pleasure from witnessing absurdities related to my bus-taking experiences...and there are a lot of them) and embarrassment, but the latter ended up winning the day. I just wanted her to stop for her own sake, and when she wouldn't, I had the urge to get off the bus prematurely just to get away from her.

 

[ajblaise]

Wow, I didn't even know that this thread got resurrected! Awesome!

At any rate, I had an experience the other day that reminded me of this subject. I was on the bus going home from the university, and this older woman sitting a couple of rows in front of me was talking on her cellphone. I usually try to space out as much as possible on these bis rides (because I kind of hate them), but she was talking extremely loud, almost to the point of screaming, and so I couldn't help but have my attention constantly raped by her annoying voice. At a certain point, her voice and manner became so animated that everyone began looking at her, and she just broke suddenly into these outrageously dramatic tears.

I was torn between amusement (I get a sort of pleasure from witnessing absurdities related to my bus-taking experiences...and there are a lot of them) and embarrassment, but the latter ended up winning the day. I just wanted her to stop for her own sake, and when she wouldn't, I had the urge to get off the bus prematurely just to get away from her.

I used to live in Albany, NY and got used to all bus-related weirdness. After you've seen someone urinate in the back of the bus, you become desensitized.

 

[Cimarron]

I can't watch embarrassing things on TV without feeling more embarrassed for them than they probably 'are'. I always used to change the channel when I knew something was going to happen. I can handle it now, but embarrassment in any form is still painful for me.

Haha, I know exactly what you're talking about. I still do that. Some people are squeamish, other people are embarrassed for TV characters...

 

[Orangey]

I used to live in Albany, NY and got used to all bus-related weirdness. After you've seen someone urinate in the back of the bus, you become desensitized.

Lol, no, nothing that bad has ever happened. I try to minimize my bus-travel time, so I usually only encounter other students (there's like three major universities in one small area) and the occasional bum/weirdo. It's worse at night. But the day someone takes a piss in closed quarters with me, I will never take the bus again.

Haha, I know exactly what you're talking about. I still do that. Some people are squeamish, other people are embarrassed for TV characters...

I don't really get all that embarrassed for television characters, especially if they're designed to make you feel embarrassed for them. I think a good example is Meet the Parents...I always felt more annoyed at the stupidity of her parents than embarrassed for Ben Stiller's character.

 

[CzeCze]

Basically, I think I'm trying to say being around people mostly sucks.

Spoken like a true INTP.

^ yes. NTs are basically all just 11yr-old boys at heart.

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