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Confused about my type


New member
May 9, 2021
Hi! I'm new in that forum. I have been interesting about enneagram since maybe six months and I'm still confused about my type. I hesitate with 5w6, 6w5, 6w7, 9w1 and 9w8. I find all of these types in my personality

Indeed, I see lots of 9 behaviors in me as the emptiness, the unpleasant sensation of not inhabiting my own body and the laziness which prevent me for doing the time-consuming things I would like to do (as drawing and writing, activities a bit difficult given that I haven't practiced for a while). I also love listening to plenty kinds of music but I wonder if youtube isn't a way to forget myself by loosing me into the notes and the rhythm, to alleviate my sensation of emptiness.

I'm often cut of my feelings and an unpleasant ball in my throat is used to appear. I don't often know what I want when I'm not requested by my studies and tend to standardize my schedule with others one. I also avoid conflicts because I'm very unsure about my own value and my own legitimacy to entering into it.

I also fear to lose my classmates' support and to become alone, without succeeding in handling things, at the beginning. So I rather behave as a passive-aggressive person. I don't become angry at people, but I'm feeling burning inside and I provoke people by using cutting remarks. I also observe people to evaluate when the situation will be at my advantage to avenge with a cutting remark.

Nevertheless, I'm coping with fear and my own awkwardness when it comes to interact with others, especially when they are in big groups or when I have to lead the conversation by myself. My brain is very fast in these situations, so fast that I don't enough think to what I would like to say and may put me in embarrassing situations. I'm very introvert and reserved.

Moreover, I am always smiling and avoiding to be to assertive, like a sp 6 who wants to establish a link of confidence with the others, relax the tense by trying to be accepting, and also dissipating the rejection threatens.

Even if I appear shy, I consider myself as a little rebel, because I don't like rules, especially the too coercive ones, and I'm constantly grumbling when a teacher appears unfair and too demanding for me. A sharp anger is pouring in all my body in these situations but I try to not express it because I know that my classmates doesn't deserve to listen to my bad temper. I love having fun and breaking the rules, even if I'm not the one who launch plans with my friends and avoid to stand out too much. I love entertaining myself and have difficulties in bearing with obligation, doing my homework and more.

When people begin to know me, they see a strong temper. My friend admitted to I'm also strong and weak. When we have orals, I was often trying to defend them in front of the teacher who marked us, when I thought his judgement was unfair.

Moreover, generally, I love stand out, entertain and when I know the persons. I have the impression my character is constituted with all the opposites. I'm also the yin and the yang depending on the situation I am. And I'm also very likely to get out of a problematic situations with the "survive at all costs" motto. In other words, I can betray or manipulate if my "survival" is threatened.

Nevertheless, I'm not very dependent from others: just at the beginning, in a place when I don't know anybody and what doing with my own body. I like my loneliness and I need to spend time alone, even if it can weigh on me, after a long time.

Unfortunately, people are wearing me out quickly and I'm not able to become attached to them, at present, although I was sticking like glue, before. I'm very independent, I hate others intrusions in my space, I'm confident in my own knowledge and I hate relying on others or needing help. I'm a little self-sufficient when I'm in bad mood, and I have to show my skills, like I had something to prove. I'm a bit competitive but not to the point to wear me out. Sometimes, I want to be noticed but I don't want to much. Just a little but not too much. I give too much importance to others look.

I'm sorry for the comment length, I don't know if my clear. By the way, I thank anybody who will be able to type me :))
Aug 7, 2019
I am not familiar with eneagram. But Try checking MBTI type: ENFP. Can you relate yourself with description of the type?