Compulsive Talking and Its Causes

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

You're fucking twisted. I like that.

No, this is twisted:

 

[GarrotTheThief]

I don't mean people who babble when they're nervous. I think we all do that from time to time. And I don't mean a chatty person; I actually like them. But conversation should be a give-and-take activity, with both people participating. I'm talking about people who, every time you're with them, they do all the talking, and they barely let you get in a word. It's almost like you might as well not even be there.

this is usually descriptive of a paternal or maternal relationship whereby the guardian does all the saying and the pupil or son or daughter must just listen.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

No, this is twisted:

no, THIS is twisted

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

no, THIS is twisted

Indeed.

 

[Jaguar]

no, THIS is twisted

I just sustained retinal damage.

 

[ceecee]

I pretty much deal with people who do this every workday. I want to say "Can we just get the job done here? I don't care about little Jimmy's karate lesson." I can't say that, though. I can't even have anything in my tone reflect that I'm even thinking that.

Just work on a very polite delivery of "Excuse me".

 

[Frosty]

My uncle with social anxiety does this thing where he laughs outrageously at everything everyone says or does in any conversation. He'll do it at parties, and he'll do it at funerals. I think it is a sort of way that he has adapted for himself to remove all tension immediately from a situation a standard thing that he does so that he doesn't have to go through the process of differentiating what he does in different conversations- put himself in any sort of risk- so he sticks to what is familiar.

I think it is sort of the same thing as talking too much- developing some sort of coping strategy that allows you to really disengage from the dynamics of what is actually happening in a conversation, and filling the empty and possibly threatening aspects with something that is potentially less threatening.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I just sustained retinal damage.

I wonder what would happen if hair metal ever had a revival? For some reason, hair metal was never really part of the whole 80's nostalgia thing.

 

[Qlip]

Hmmm... I once had a co-worker who would just talk and talk at me. He was the nicest guy ever, he'd really only dominate the conversation in his lack of pauses between sentences. If you could get a word in edgewise, he'd be very polite, nod and continue on his subject, as if I had said nothing at all. It was obvious that he enjoyed the interaction. I think he just didn't get any actual value from exchanging POV's and information, he got his value out of having a conversation as a ritual interaction, where he just blabbed, constantly. It didn't really matter what about.

I still don't really understand it, but that's where I learned how to cut people off in conversation.

I wonder what would happen if hair metal ever had a revival? For some reason, hair metal was never really part of the whole 80's nostalgia thing.

They tried, it didn't take.

 

[SD45T-2]

I don't mean people who babble when they're nervous. I think we all do that from time to time. And I don't mean a chatty person; I actually like them. But conversation should be a give-and-take activity, with both people participating. I'm talking about people who, every time you're with them, they do all the talking, and they barely let you get in a word. It's almost like you might as well not even be there.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

My uncle with social anxiety does this thing where he laughs outrageously at everything everyone says or does in any conversation. He'll do it at parties, and he'll do it at funerals. I think it is a sort of way that he has adapted for himself to remove all tension immediately from a situation a standard thing that he does so that he doesn't have to go through the process of differentiating what he does in different conversations- put himself in any sort of risk- so he sticks to what is familiar.

I think it is sort of the same thing as talking too much- developing some sort of coping strategy that allows you to really disengage from the dynamics of what is actually happening in a conversation, and filling the empty and possibly threatening aspects with something that is potentially less threatening.

One of my wife's school mom acquaintances does something similar and it really grates on my nerves.

 

[BadOctopus]

Hmmm... I once had a co-worker who would just talk and talk at me. He was the nicest guy ever, he'd really only dominate the conversation in his lack of pauses between sentences. If you could get a word in edgewise, he'd be very polite, nod and continue on his subject, as if I had said nothing at all. It was obvious that he enjoyed the interaction. I think he just didn't get any actual value from exchanging POV's and information, he got his value out of having a conversation as a ritual interaction, where he just blabbed, constantly. It didn't really matter what about.

You used to work with my dad!?

Seriously though, this is exactly how my dad is. Even if you can get a word in, he'll resume talking about whatever he was going on about before, as if you hadn't said anything. Like I said, it's like you might as well not be there, for all that you're actually able to contribute to the conversation.

But my dad's like that in everything he does. He's a human steamroller.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

I wonder what would happen if hair metal ever had a revival? For some reason, hair metal was never really part of the whole 80's nostalgia thing.

They tried, it didn't take.

I'm guessing it had to do with the sheer suckitude of 80s hair metal. Although disco is arguably as bad and seems to have made successful comebacks at several junctures.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I'm guessing it had to do with the sheer suckitude of 80s hair metal. Although disco is arguably as bad and seems to have made successful comebacks at several junctures.

Disco has never topped this, IMO.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

You used to work with my dad!?

Seriously though, this is exactly how my dad is. Even if you can get a word in, he'll resume talking about whatever he was going on about before, as if you hadn't said anything. Like I said, it's like you might as well not be there, for all that you're actually able to contribute to the conversation.

But my dad's like that in everything he does. He's a human steamroller.

Apparently we have the same dad. I don't even try any more with mine. He pretends to have discussions with people but it's really just him loudly voicing his opinion as superior to anyone else's. If others object or disagree, his volume increases. Sometimes, if I try to agree, he's so wrapped up in his own speech that he thinks I'm disagreeing and reacts accordingly.

 

[Frosty]

Apparently we have the same dad. I don't even try any more with mine. He pretends to have discussions with people but it's really just him loudly voicing his opinion as superior to anyone else's. If others object or disagree, his volume increases. Sometimes, if I try to agree, he's so wrapped up in his own speech that he thinks I'm disagreeing and reacts accordingly.

Mm, my dad just likes to say the most outlandishly offensive things to piss my mom off, usually really misogenistic things. Goes on hours long rants about that sort of stuff, and gets really pissed off if my mom interrupts him to tell him off. Depending on my mood I pick either side to indulge, though I think it's funnier to back my dad just because of the sort of obvious contradiction of it all, more entertaining.

But yeah, my dad is my uncles brother. Both grew up very sheltered and very little was asked of them in any regard, including socially. So I think they both developed strategies to deal with that- and my dads occasionally involves very loud semi-serious rant/trolling.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

Mm, my dad just likes to say the most outlandishly offensive things to piss my mom off, usually really misogenistic things. Goes on hours long rants about that sort of stuff, and gets really pissed off if my mom interrupts him to tell him off. Depending on my mood I pick either side to indulge, though I think it's funnier to back my dad just because of the sort of obvious contradiction of it all, more entertaining.

But yeah, my dad is my uncles brother. Both grew up very sheltered and very little was asked of them in any regard, including socially. So I think they both developed strategies to deal with that- and my dads occasionally involves very loud semi-serious rant/trolling.

I find it frustrating that he essentially decides when a conversation is finished. He will go on and on about something and not really let anyone interject. If they do, he takes any pause to mean they're finished speaking. Once he's done talking about it, it's no matter to him if anyone else had anything to add.

 

[Kas]

It depends some people just like to talk and don't like to listen, so it's not really compulsive in that case.

Different thing is that some people talk about themselves because of being self-obsessed and others are just insecure and that's how they deal with it. I knew one guy who every time somebody said where they were or what they did was interrupting with "I was here and there" and it was really grotesque. Kind o sad, I think he was very insecure, but it was almost impossible to listen to him.

 

[Bush]

Usually when I get interrupted by people I know over something tangential or unrelated, I'll just yell whatever I was going to say until they shut up.

Conversations involve two or more parties, not just one blowhard.

 

[Olm the Water King]

I like it in some people, not so much in others. It depends.

It doesn't really bother me all that much even when I don't like it.