To a degree I see how you're confused - I often relate more to ESTPs than I relate to other ESTJs. But I've found that our biggest differences lie in our tolerance for chaos - ESTPs are even more "what are we waiting for, let's do it" than ESTJs are, because they're significantly less risk-averse and chaos-fearing than ESTJs are. Compare descriptions of SPs and SJs and you'll see what I mean.
Also: nearly every ESTP I've ever met has been either Neutral or Chaotic on the Chaotic/Lawful spectrum, whereas every single ESTJ I've met, no exceptions, myself included, has been Lawful.
If I were to choose between the two, for you, based on your posting style, I'd strongly vote ESTP.
Summoning @
miss fortune for input from the other side of the aisle