You mention possibly going with an older man and that might be a good approach. There are a lot of ways to connect online, so you may not be limited to your work environment. You mention that ultra masculine men look for ultra feminine women, and I'm not convinced of that. I think people tend to get together within similar cultures. For one example of "ultra-masculine", I think the tough biker crowd type man is stereotyped to have a biker-chik. I kinda think that the tougher men tend to want women who are a little bit tough.
I am a bit sensitive and my first husband was an INTP, but most of that sensitivity was lost on him. He's with a tough-minded ENTP now and they have a stable, long-term relationship. Although I'm a bit older and burnt out on relationships myself, even fulfilling a feminine, sensitive role, but I'm also highly intelligent and unusual, so easily dismissed. I do know the standard type of woman who is most highly prized for a traditional relationship. There were several women like that in college that were sought after by dozens of guys.
I feel like you are young enough, that you may have a perspective influenced by a smaller amount of environments and that you will probably do much better in another environment. It is also true that finding true compatibility is very difficult in life. I would tend to say to not feel any pressure to change yourself, but explore more broadly your ability to change your environment. Do you have any thoughts on that approach?
Edit: Something just occurred to me: interestingly, even my example of my INTP ex who pairs well with a tough-minded ENTP now was actually interested in a traditional type of woman in college. He liked me and another girl who was sought after by several guys and we had a significant intelligence differential. I think there might be a way that young guys tend to go with unconscious peer pressure to value what everyone else values, even when they themselves are quite different and unique. I think giving it time or looking for someone more mature could make a difference.