Ok, first of all I want to say that I loved your first post in the e9 creatives thread. You have the level of understanding of e9 that it took me years to get to so I am beyond impressed tbh. Also, I think what I've always admired about 4's is that despite our shared identity confusion you seem to have a lot more purpose/potential for intent and vision in yourselves and your art (should you be artists).
Wow, thank you, especially coming from you. It actually dawned on me the other day when I came across this hippie chick who is so obviously a 9 it hurts, and even thinking for a time the possibility of 9 being my core type as well, but still seeing this certain difference between us in our form of execution. She had one of the most ethereal and creative ways of expressing herself through make-up, costume, art, and music that I've ever seen, but had an aura of humbleness that I just don't have in myself to the extent that 9s typically do, and being called a “snob†frequently by my sister doesn't help in executing that kind of behavior either lol. In my eyes, that humble quality in 9s operates on an epic level of IDGAFness and punk rock territory to me, which is secretly what I really wish I have in myself and try to execute, but naturally don't because deep down I'm a lame, "look at me, I'm a peacock!" 4. The only way to get around that for me is to poke fun at myself for the fact that I can be a bit of pretentious asshat at times. And yeah, besides all that gibberish I just spewed, I see that connection in you as well (besides the hippie part of course lol) and now have a much greater understanding of 9s in general, which is pretty cool because I'm also close to a few of them irl.
And you're right, that lack of drive for purpose is a major difference between my e9 sister and I, besides sharing the same MBTI type. She still has a good grasp of Fi and is even better at understanding it in herself than me at times, but the e9 part always shines through when it comes down to wanting and even searching for that sense of purpose in life as much as I do.
Haha, maybe ISFP 4 should be my "on paper" type.
Hah. People may now actually understand you better on a shallow level like I attempted to plenty of times.
Actually, lately when I hang out with my ESFP friends it becomes so embarrassingly apparent that I either have poor Se or no Se lol. Of course that assumes I've typed them correctly, but I guess there's no way to prove I have. So, you're right, I don't believe I hold the showy qualities of Se in myself. I can definitely see how you have them in a refined way though based off your vibes.
Yeah, from what I've gathered I generally don't have much in common with many of them either to where I wonder the same thing, especially when it comes down to that stable, down-to-earth quality of Se. But the similarities in appreciation for aesthetics, even if they are experienced for different reasons, still remain. I guess the subtle difference of what dom-Fi and tert-Ni bring to the table. Many of the ones I know also have 7 as their core type, and that e-type is so foreign to me, so I can see a greater reason as to why now.
Can I ask where you see Ni? How do you think of Ni? Other people mention that sometimes as well, so I do wonder about it.
To be honest, it's more of a superficial understanding and visceral idea of what it is because of the way you write that is so unlike many of the SFJs I know irl and see online. Your writing can get so abstract that even intuitives on this site have claimed they have a hard time reading what you wrote lol. And also from some of the metaphors I've seen you use in your writing that made me blink once and think
Ni must be in there somewhere. You seem, at least from what I've seen you write in the past, to have a natural grasp at understanding metaphor and symbolism in a similar vein to dom-Ni users. I'm fairly certain I remember spotting some form of mythological reference at least on a few occasions, but it's possible my mind is hazy and making things up.
Also, I'm sure much of this is in reference to your current username, but whenever I read your blog posts, I always think about Sylvia Plath (who I think many type as INFJ?) and form connections based on the tone and formality in your posts. And also due to the complexity which, based on my own warped way of forming connections, loosely mirrors the abstractions and grief in her poetry. It may be the reason why I attribute that to dom-Ni, but ended up being hoodwinked instead. That's also another reason why, I think, many assume someone is a dom-Ni/Fi user, but I notice you're smart enough to see through that too, which is pretty remarkable in itself. And I'm still stuck in that complex=Ni/Fi user mode lol.
I do think 9 (especially sx synflow) is sensitive to congruence but I think the desire I feel to control the external along those lines, although I don't make it obvious and I control myself out of maturity, is not a 9 thing (although congruence can be attributed to a 1 wing, I think the motivation isn't really about ideals so much as control). In fact it's the opposite of a 9 thing and I feel quite internally conflicted most of the time because of that. I think I just don't try to control my enviornment in the social dom, type with no link to counterphobia (e2) way people usually think of Fe. It's like I do what so/sx e2's do softly in my own harsher so last influenced by cp 6 way if that makes sense. But yeah, I think it becomes really obvious that I am Fe when I am around other strong Fe (to a lesser extent this happens with Te sometimes too) users, because it feels like we are constanly undergoing some sort of power-struggle that will only end when one of us backs down and lets the other's Fe overcome their own.
Yeah, I was thinking of it in terms of you possibly having a stronger 1 wing than average. The controlling aspect makes sense. That's true that Fe can be controlling, but I'm used to thinking of the harsher aspects of controlling that's more along the lines of a Te user. Maybe it's because when I see the Fe users in my life, everyone around me is the stereotypical effusive type with prominent 2s and social instincts in their stackings, so the intimidating variety doesn't cross my path as often, but it's possible I might have even mistaken some for Te users as well.
As for Si, to be perfectly honest I don't have as strong of a case for it as Fe other than what can be found in the process of elimination (Fe, Introvert, Sensor). Although, at this point in my development I mostly see it in myself in a way that was reflected when I read this part of the description a while ago despite it referring to a different context than my situation for the most part:
Reading that makes some sense now. Although, you've always seemed to have a profound understanding of yourself despite what the last part of the first paragraph indicates, so that's pretty surprising to me.