Compulsive Talking and Its Causes

[Mademoiselle]

I'm the one.
The funny thing is no single word of mine is even clear
"They say quality oher quantity" I'm guilty of this.

When a stranger approches me, I'm very attractive from far away, this gentle smile those kind eyes of this young girl laughing..
The person get's curious and wants to know what's it like to be close to that girl, and .. Suddenly they decide to hear out what looks so interesting..
"Wtf is she saying ?!" "I don't get a thing"


You see it's just the same little girl who hasn't learnt a language to express what she has to say, all those signals without a way to be out.

People usually find me either silly cute or stupid ignorant spoiled brat
Anyways, it's cool to be with me, I swear, if you could only understand me..



Aaand I was just kidding about what I said earlier, I'm just wondering what hapoens inside the monds of overly talktive people.

I have that fraking INTP cosuine who's got a super brain, and talks real fast.
I aslo believe there are sensors wasting their skills by gossip and meaningless things, thay are bla-bl-ers

 

[miss fortune]

my sister does that sometimes... I end up doing the whole thing with smiling, nodding and retreating mentally to somewhere far away

conversation =/= monologue... my parents tried to drive that into our heads as kids. that and if you monologue everyone will tune you out, so let them contribute to make sure that they are listening

I'll admit to talking a bit excessively when nervous on occasion, but I DO ask a lot of questions and pause for the answers. I also get in the occasional odd mood where I'll wander over to a coworker and talk at them for about 30 seconds before skipping off to work alone... this happens maybe once or twice a day and otherwise I'm the only one who is content with working independently

those who monologue without pause don't seem to really understand how conversations work

 

[Tennessee Jed]

Disco has never topped this, IMO.

I remember that when it came out on the radio. Those were dark days for music.

Here is another beauty that came out about the same time, though in the funk genre:

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

I remember that when it came out on the radio. Those were dark days for music.

Here is another beauty that came out about the same time, though in the funk genre:

cocaine is one hell of a drug

 

[á´…eparted]

I can be a compulsive talker sometimes. In particular if I like someone or they are new . It was worse when I was a child.

 

[great_bay]

If you guys looked at the science of the brain and talking, people's brains get pleasure when ask to talk about themselves like receiving money or food. Is it no wonder people won't stop talking. I'm aware of this fact yet I like to keep quiet. If you guys really wanted to get people to like you, just keep asking to talk about themselves.

 

[Ghost]

Have you ever met someone who never seems to stop talking? I don't mean simply a talkative person who is skilled in the art of conversation. I'm referring to a person who dominates every conversation, interrupts others constantly, and doesn't seem to realize that his or her incessant talking is annoying and stressful to other people. What do you suppose causes that?

I've met different kinds of people who talk a lot, from people who tell you their life stories to people who can't understand they're boring everyone. A security guard at my first job would regale me with these weird anecdotes about her life, but it was really awesome.

There was this girl in college who fits the description better. She'd literally latch on to a person and follow them, talking their ears off about who knows what. She'd ask inappropriate questions, then interrupt the answer so she could talk about something else. I'd avoid whole sections of the building so she wouldn't talk to me because it was really hard to get rid of her. You could spend the entire "conversation" edging away from her, and she wouldn't pick up the signals. I feel kind of bad for her now. I think she just wasn't aware, couldn't read people at all. I don't think it had anything to do with anxiety or attention-seeking. It was more of an unrelenting obliviousness.

The other day, I met someone else who took over the discussion. She kept listing things. Someone brought up home, and she listed her daily chores. Someone brought up recent growth in the area, and she listed the stores that were originally there 20 years ago. It was boring. But I think it had to do with her getting lost in her memory and reciting what she recalled. It didn't seem like she was consciously dominating the conversation.

When it's just my family, I'm the compulsive talker. My mom is the most lenient, so she bears the brunt of it. I'm constantly nattering on about the facts I've learned that day, the animals I saw, and—this is probably the worst—I retell entire movies to them. Part of it is for attention, I think, since most of my day is spent in solitude. But it's also because I get excited about ideas and things I encounter, and it bubbles out when someone I'm comfortable with is near. My sister said I don't know how to do companionable silence. That seems true enough.

 

[evilrubberduckie]

Im a talker. I just hate silence and sitting still when around people. The more people, the higher energy I have.

Just look me straight in the eye and say. "Stop" or "shush" or "you talk too much." Thats the only way ill get the hint. Fuck social ques for politeness.

For me its not a form of insecurity or mental instability or anything. I just ront appreciate comfortable silence. Because its not comfortable with me.

 

[cascadeco]

I'm not saying all introverts are like this. But in my experience, they are very clingy and annoying. Just be your own swashbuckling self and don't get mad at me for talking to random people as if they were good friends - as an extrovert I am somewhat of a charmer and this is just my nature, as Tupac says.

I guess what it boils down to is that the Introvert is maintaining a facade of sorts to the group because society turns on them, so they have to learn...sometimes this incubation turns into flat out narcissism.

The extroverts may talk a lot but they speak mostly in groups of three and up.
The introvert clings to others in groups as a life support, and instead unloads their thoughts to that one person.

Yeah, tbh I don't think the talking-for-half-hour-or-nearly-hour-at-a-time has anything to do with introversion/extroversion, I have experienced both who can be like that. I think it's something outside of E/I; if anything, it may have to do with someone who normally doesn't have many people they bond with, who then when they actually do bond with someone, then talk a lot. (Or, some amount of anxiety like others have mentioned, or maybe a strong need for affirmation or something like that.) otoh, some people just talk a lot to anyone and everyone -- there's that flavor too. And people who even if they bond, still don't talk that much.

I know you also said it's not something across-the-board, just was adding my own thoughts to this...

 

[cascadeco]

If you guys looked at the science of the brain and talking, people's brains get pleasure when ask to talk about themselves like receiving money or food. Is it no wonder people won't stop talking. I'm aware of this fact yet I like to keep quiet. If you guys really wanted to get people to like you, just keep asking to talk about themselves.

This kind of backfires for anyone asking me questions... I don't like talking about myself. But then I'm not really normal when it comes to socializing, lol

 

[Z Buck McFate]

I think there's something about being engaged in conversation with other people that feels good on some fundamental level, and it can become an addiction for some people- they use it as something to flee into to avoid uncomfortable feelings. Like, there's something about not directly interacting with another person that starts feeling uncomfortable, in the way that simply being sober can feel unbearable to someone who is alcoholic. It's hard to imagine how something that's simply a baseline of existence for most of us can actually feel unbearable to someone, but I think this is what's going on when someone needs (or, thinks they need) to be interacting/talking so badly that they never seem to stop.

 

[Luke O]

I don't know the causes but there sure are a lot of them. When you get 2 or more of them together, and they talk, and I want to say something they'll either ignore me, talk over me or get annoyed with me for talking when they are. This is most social groups tbh.

 

[windoverlake]

I don't mean people who babble when they're nervous. I think we all do that from time to time. And I don't mean a chatty person; I actually like them. But conversation should be a give-and-take activity, with both people participating. I'm talking about people who, every time you're with them, they do all the talking, and they barely let you get in a word. It's almost like you might as well not even be there.

You used to work with my dad!?

Seriously though, this is exactly how my dad is. Even if you can get a word in, he'll resume talking about whatever he was going on about before, as if you hadn't said anything. Like I said, it's like you might as well not be there, for all that you're actually able to contribute to the conversation.

But my dad's like that in everything he does. He's a human steamroller.

Apparently we have the same dad. I don't even try any more with mine. He pretends to have discussions with people but it's really just him loudly voicing his opinion as superior to anyone else's. If others object or disagree, his volume increases. Sometimes, if I try to agree, he's so wrapped up in his own speech that he thinks I'm disagreeing and reacts accordingly.

I've encountered this in varying degrees and severities, and it's totally different from Chatty Cathys, vent sessions, and the occasional dive down the rabbit hole of talk. This is something else: it's a monologue in that there's a performance aspect to it, but it's also a soliloquy because, really, you might as well not be there. Continuing the theatrical theme, you could essentially have an entire aside (& you probably are) and the speaker won't even notice. The only way to break their blather is to remove yourself physically from their presence.

I think it's a combination of poor social skills (to the point that they probably lack it entirely), anxiety related to human instinct and desire for communication/being heard, and lacking in empathy skills. Sometimes it does seem like Fe/Fi but I don't think the Steamroller Syndrome is type-related.

Not easy to experience or be around. There's something distressing about it.

 

[prplchknz]

I just met a guy today who does what the op is describing. he was chill and he kept asking if i minded, i said no i didn't most of the time. but i now know all of the jurrasic park movies plus some of the fan fiction. most people won't bother talking to me, because i'm not good at responding fast enough for most people and they look at me. he asked if i was alright because apparently i was shaking, which i was not aware of. so he's not completely oblivious, i just think he really likes jurrasic park, which is cool. ok that's not the point. but i think i might watch all the jurrasic park movies this weekend because i can.

edit: actually i probably don't but he made them sound awesome that i do want to watch them so i will.

 

[Poki]

Have you ever met someone who never seems to stop talking? I don't mean simply a talkative person who is skilled in the art of conversation. I'm referring to a person who dominates every conversation, interrupts others constantly, and doesn't seem to realize that his or her incessant talking is annoying and stressful to other people. What do you suppose causes that? Is it anxiety-related? A symptom of ADD? Or is it just need for attention?

These convos are right up my ally, atleast one of us is talking...lol. some people just have this need to speak what they think. These are the fun ones because they talk to themselves out loud too

 

[citizen cane]

This is all we need to hear on the subject:

 

[Bush]

^ On phones: Thank the Lord for (a) texting and (b) caller ID.

 

[Andy]

Have you ever met someone who never seems to stop talking? I don't mean simply a talkative person who is skilled in the art of conversation. I'm referring to a person who dominates every conversation, interrupts others constantly, and doesn't seem to realize that his or her incessant talking is annoying and stressful to other people. What do you suppose causes that? Is it anxiety-related? A symptom of ADD? Or is it just need for attention?

I don't know, but here is an interesting and related fact. Did you know that the urge to speak and the ability to understand speak are in seperate parts of the brain? Sometimes people with brain damage are left with one but not the other, leaving people who babble away in complete nonesense for hours on end, or people who retain the ability to speak but just don't. Perhaps this is just a lesser case of that. Too much impulse to speak, while the processing center fails to do it's job.

 

[Lunar Light]

Have you ever met someone who never seems to stop talking? I don't mean simply a talkative person who is skilled in the art of conversation. I'm referring to a person who dominates every conversation, interrupts others constantly, and doesn't seem to realize that his or her incessant talking is annoying and stressful to other people. What do you suppose causes that? Is it anxiety-related? A symptom of ADD? Or is it just need for attention?

I have ADHD (all forms) and anxiety, and the ADHD seems to get much worse when I'm anxious. Most of the time I wouldn't say I'm someone who doesn't stop talking and I make it a point to be considerate with others.

That said, when I'm anxious (and with someone I know well because I'm more likely to just shut up if I'm not comfortable with someone), I'm going to keep trying to find something to make the situation better and I annoy myself and the other person to death with incessant random/impulsive bursts of BS. I feel horrible for it and that just makes me more anxious, which thus makes me want to fill up the empty space with something and it's just awful. The ADHD impulsivity and anxiety feed off each other and ugh. Oops?

I'd say it depends but in general it seems to be anxiety-related (conscious or not). Even if it's a desire for attention, I'd call that a form of anxiety since it's a sort of insecurity in most cases.

 

[Raffaella]

I'm the one.
The funny thing is no single word of mine is even clear
"They say quality oher quantity" I'm guilty of this.

Arabs, amirite?

Trying to get a word in with Arabs is like trying "to grill ice".