Harlow_Jem
New member
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2008
- Messages
- 219
- MBTI Type
- eNTJ
- Enneagram
- 8w9
What is depression like for ENFJs? What are tell-tale symptoms of a depressed ENFJ? How can someone deal with a depressed ENFJ?
Depends, when I get depressed I feel real down but at the same time I don't like it for other people to see it so I sort of hide it. I don't like to talk about my issues and I won't bring the up unless someone genuinely cares enough ask me what is happening to me. Sometimes At the same time I will also only talk to you about my issues if I trust you enough. I will also get mad and start thinking some "dark" thoughts, and be real negative about stuff as a whole. I will provably throw out certain hints that I feel like shit but I wont say anything too directly about it. As far as signs? Well I guess I wont be me typical cheerful self and you will notice that I get upset a lot easier than usual and won't want to hang around people as much.
Hmmm...and how can someone best help you when you're depressed?
He won't tell does that because he wants you to ask him how he feels. Its about you "genuinely" caring enough about him to ask how he feels. If I tell you to ask me how I am feeling it just feels kind of fake, almost like you really didn't care enough to ask me how I feel so why bother letting you know how I feel. Deep down we do want you to ask us so that is why we throw out the hints. Also like I said, i don't like people to see when I am down so I usually slap on a smile and carry on with my day.I don't think I have ever "seen" an Fe dominant depressed. One of my best friends is ENFJ and he never actually looks depressed or anything... he just hints that he is. (something that -really- annoys me.) He won't say "i'm upset I need someone to talk to." He will just try to act like everything is ok, ask me about myself but only really be thinking about himself. Not sure how to explain it...like he will ask me how my day was, and after I'd say "good" or something he will just say "well at least ONE of us had a good day..."
living in a foreign culture that I don't like
I am resurrecting an old thread but I feel a bit under the weather lately.
The problem is, I have lived in a place where I have very few friends for some years now. Being ENFJ and stuff, I went out trying to make friends, and tried, and tried and tried, but was not very successful at it. So I've lived in relative isolation (I have some friends, I am just used to many more) for an extended period of time. And that is not a natural state for ENFJ.
When sad, I turn into a hermit too. It's just something about trying to preserve your social butterfly self and not put the sad vulnerable one out there to people that might not necessarily understand. I wonder why - being Fe - we all seem to have this mechanism.. it's like we do not trust people will try to help us & love us with as much patience as we usually love them - and we kinda need this intensity of care from others when we are down (INFPs seem to be very good at that though!).
Anyway, my isolation was coupled with other stress over extended period of time: difficulty finding work, living in a foreign culture that I don't like, just normal day-to-day stuff. I am putting a lot of energy trying to leave this country and move to a different one, but I feel drained all the time. I just don't quite know where to get the energy from, so decided to drop in here on all of you, my fellow ENFJs and see if we could chat about our dark days a bit and maybe make them a bit lighter.
I am resurrecting an old thread but I feel a bit under the weather lately.
The problem is, I have lived in a place where I have very few friends for some years now. Being ENFJ and stuff, I went out trying to make friends, and tried, and tried and tried, but was not very successful at it. So I've lived in relative isolation (I have some friends, I am just used to many more) for an extended period of time. And that is not a natural state for ENFJ.
When sad, I turn into a hermit too. It's just something about trying to preserve your social butterfly self and not put the sad vulnerable one out there to people that might not necessarily understand. I wonder why - being Fe - we all seem to have this mechanism.. it's like we do not trust people will try to help us & love us with as much patience as we usually love them - and we kinda need this intensity of care from others when we are down (INFPs seem to be very good at that though!).
Anyway, my isolation was coupled with other stress over extended period of time: difficulty finding work, living in a foreign culture that I don't like, just normal day-to-day stuff. I am putting a lot of energy trying to leave this country and move to a different one, but I feel drained all the time. I just don't quite know where to get the energy from, so decided to drop in here on all of you, my fellow ENFJs and see if we could chat about our dark days a bit and maybe make them a bit lighter.