I'm not quite sure what came over me yesterday but every time I attempted to continue on with what I had started in this thread... a great deal of emotion would sweep over me and my eyes would fill tears. Happy, emo tears... but still tears that caused a couple people to look at me funny at Starbucks haha
Such moments are indeed rare, and thus such tremendous treasures.
Not a single one of us asked to be born, we all have made the best sense of the world possible with the mixed bag of genes/environment/fate that is our early lives, and on we go with limited forethought of what it all means – or what we wish our unique part in it to be.
So off we go making the best things happen as often as we can. Patterns emerge. Let’s make a go of it, let’s make that good stuff happen again! How good it felt to spin that illusion, and how hard it was to recognize that the only constant in all things is change. How desperate when we woke up and realized that no matter how things went, the only thing we had control of during any of it was ourselves, our own actions, words, feelings, beliefs, and thoughts.
And then when we figured out how to cry, and that it was part of the journey, and that it was Ok – we gained an understanding of our feelings and began to realize that uncovering their meaning was the first glimpse we ever really had to understand our very own being.
To those who revel in living life’s journey for the sake of living it well, the tears don’t begin until we realize that being at peace when life stands still, is just as important as mastering all the steps of the journey.
Here's a great blurb about 7s I've always liked...
Enneagram Institute said:
THE ENTHUSIAST
Enneagram Type 7
The Busy, Variety-Seeking type:
Spontaneous, Versatile, Acquisitive, and Scattered
Busy? Since birth!
Variety seeking? Totally! I never do the same workout twice.
umpyouup:
Spontaneous? So much that I take medication for it - ZING!!!!
Versatile? Like MacGuyver!
Acquisitive? Only to the degree we wish to do neat stuff.
Scattered? Our curiousity, energy and zeal for living predisposes us to be into everything, as often as possible. :moonwalk:
So, for the sake of framing the basic elements of e7s for readers of this thread - I offer the above.
I just shared with another e7 member earlier today that I had arrived here (to this forum) a mess. My life having crumbled to the ground for so many reasons that were truly beyond my control... but for reasons that were made substantially worse by way of 'e7 unawareness.' I was out of touch with my thoughts and feelings. I was unknowingly ignoring all problems and potential problems. Basically, I was perpetually riding the *wave of optimism*... waiting for my 'happily ever after' to arrive.
Oh dear God was I a complete train wreck when my (30+ year) wave of optimism crashed upon the shores of reality. I realized that an overwhelming majority of my debaucles were clearly my own doing. I also realized that unless I came to terms with how I felt about life, why I felt that way, and what it all meant (to me) that my chances of doing better in the future were as random as before. And there it is. There is the real challenge. Before you can truly master the journey, you must first master yourself. So sit the fuck down and figure it out, right?!
It’s hard to focus on problems when you are in many ways a being of perpetual motion. If not a perpetual motion machine, a freight train – barreling down the tracks of life. The more cargo you carry, and the faster you travel, the harder it is to slow down – or STOP when you want to, or need to.
^^And it's not like I've lived the kind of simple, peaceful life I imagine one would need to live in order to have the luxury of such immaturity and immature thought. To the contrary I've had many hardships in my time...I've had many opportunities to adjust my thinking and exist in the collective reality.
My dear friend, Jack, once said to me
“Alex, we all have our own crosses to bear in this life. Every human being wonders why other people suffer over whatever it is that ails them. Everybody grows at their own rate, at different times, and for different reasons.â€
I don’t think there is a “formula†that can nicely slice & dice a given person’s life variables that predicts the moment in time they “should†become self-aware. If anything it’s a “series of trips†through our own circuitry, through our own experiences that begins the process of understanding our own mechanics, intentions, compulsions, wants, and needs – and those of others.
It's just that I'm stubborn... I have a bit of the *fight* in me... And there was just no way in hell I was giving-up on *the dream.*
Sounds a little bit familiar…
I was a good-hearted, loving person...and from what I understood... automatically entitled to Life becoming what I wanted it to be...and not the other way around - of course not. It would never have occurred to me that I become the best of what Life wanted me to be.
This is a huge conundrum for 7s. We know that control is an illusion, yet we are awfully damn good at surfing through the many illusions that exist within life. We know that there is no voodoo to cast, yet we are damn good at making the best of the voodoo we’re surrounded by, and so it drives us batshit crazy when things don’t add up!
How can this be?
(Apples + 749)/blue = <*sound of birds chirping*> - DUHHH!!! Everyone knows that, right?!
And I was starting to get a little anxious frankly...a little pissed-off here and there. Life sure seemed to be taking a super long time becoming perfect. And all the while I'm being subjected to all kinds bullshit and horrors... (<-referring here to what we all see every night in the evening news.)
Waiting for life to become perfect is not a good plan.
Working your ass off to build a perfect life seems like a better plan, but can wind up being equally fruitless.
Being grateful for all the moments you have to build your perfect life is a great plan.
Developing meaningful friendships is an amazing plan.
Doing all you can each day to be the best person you can be, to make the most with what you have to work with, and to be present in the lives of those you love, and those who love you – THAT is a plan that never gets old.
So I would wonder, who missed how sensitive I am to pain and suffering and put me into this waiting room huh? Who dropped the ball on this? Who's responsible for this fuck-up? Who's to blame? I totally know myself and there's no way I'd sign up for this gig. So, something's wrong - there's been some mix-up. There must be some kind of written record of this. This sure the hell better not be some sort of bait & switch racket as I know my rights... Right?
Just as we didn’t have a choice to be born, we sure as hell were not issued a field manual telling us what we needed to know. The pages of life’s field manual are at best scratch off lottery tickets; you only get to read the wisdom under each experience that rubs the glitter off the pages. “What†to do is quite a big mystery, “How†to do any of it is a book of many chapters, and “Why†the hell should we do anything – is something we have to face at some point, right? Oh wait, we also need to know how we feel about all this? And that our actions have a huge impact on the lives and feelings of others? And that the pain and suffering we so cleverly ignored for so long would one day have the power to sneak up on us and rip our hearts out and wrench our guts as we gazed in horror at our own ignorance – that was brutal.
Still, these were merely momentary doubts pushed-out as fast as they crept-in. For the most part I was quite happy...enjoying people and life...ignoring problems...all because I could...holding a one-way-ticket to Neverland and all. Then Life decided to show me who was really in charge. <-Now, not every e7 makes it this far. To the final destination point for The Entranced e7. For some it is their Life circumstance that never takes them that far and so they continue to walk the old path.
I agree.
Most people accept accountability for their lives at some point between their birth and their death.
Some people do so when quite young.
Some choose to do so right near the middle.
And some wait as long as they possibly can – but they still must give in eventually.
It’s not “if†– it’s “when†it will occur, IMHO.
Other e7s may simply be more mindful and allowing in general and are capable of adapting and incorporating healthy aspects of e5 into their lives over time. And then there is a breed of e7 that appears to like their lessons hard. That possess a very bad combination of devotion, idealism and pig-headedness.
I think these paths are temporary.
At least I hope they are; for they don’t go anywhere nice or good.
These are the warriors. The e7s that are bold enough to...in spite of no promises having ever been made to them...proclaim that a Life that doesn't align perfectly with their righteous-vision of what should be clearly has
no meaning. <-Balls-y these ones. And omfg...when they finally concede to Life?
I'll just sum it up by saying 'expect tantrums.'
Um yeah, it gets loud and very unpleasant for awhile… or so I’ve read.
I feel sometimes I've walked thousands of miles in the name of e5 integration...for what in reality could be likened to a few steps to the otherside of a small room. And I don't know if this is just me or not. The ideal for me would be to save others the journey...but perhaps it is the case that everyone must walk thousands of miles in order to come full-circle... And then head out on the new path.
Absolutely. Live, love and learn!
I’ve benefitted immensely from learning about other people’s experiences.
That type of info is more interesting than any book, to me at least.
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.â€
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
*******************************************************************
A friend of mine gave me a greeting card with the above quote on it during a time I was really trying to figure out what the hell e5 integration was all about. And because of this… in spite of the fact when I read that quote I know with every ounce of who I am – that it is Truth… there was a part of me that was actually uncomfortable holding this card in my hand.
That’s an amazing quote, by an amazing man.
Good stuff!
Reading about the e5…(as well as encountering a handful of members at the time that could seemingly speak endlessly on the topic of what makes an e7 an automatic total bastard haha)… my response to it was an anxious one. Like ‘Finish each day and be done with it’…? Are you sure? Isn’t that what turns people into assholes? Seriously. I think we’re all supposed to ‘Finish each day and subsequently analyze the hell out of it for several weeks thereafter…’ <-That’s what healthy people do right?
Only if someone seeks to do bad things each day, and begins again without remorse are they assholes, IMHO. If you have a balanced perspective on life, if you do the best you can with what you have to work with, then sleep well and begin again in peace. That’s kind of the super-reductionist version I guess!
Have you ever noticed there really isn’t anything out there of substance on the topic of integration? Like no one knows what to do…there are no guides. So the only thing I could come up with on my own was to read the works of famous/historical e5s…alongside every single e5 description I could get my hands on. And I now believe I have uncovered the ancient trick of the enneagram so listen closely…
You are right; I’ve read over integration in the context of the Enneagram numerous times (via the occasional tidbit as such in my daily “EnneaThought†e-mail) but honestly never really pondered on it. To me the concept of a person oscillating between “unhealthy†and “healthy†extremes intuitively made more sense, as that example is quite linear. However, the concept of a 7 “integrating†(healthfully developing) into 5 is a bit harder of a concept to grasp. And on the flip side “disintegrating†(operating under stress) into 1 is equally obtuse at first.
Here’s my ad-hoc study of this:
(The below is paraphrased from:
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/intro.asp#directions )
Enneagram Institute said:
The inner lines of the Enneagram connect the types in a sequence that denotes what each type will do under different conditions. There are two lines connected to each type, and they connect with two other types. One line connects with a type that represents how a person of the first type behaves when they are moving toward health and growth. This is called the Direction of Integration or Growth. The other line goes to another type that represents how the person is likely to act out if they are under increased stress and pressure—when they feel they are not in control of the situation. This second line is called the Direction of Stress or Disintegration. In other words, different situations will evoke different kinds of responses from your personality. You will respond or adapt in different directions, as indicated by the lines of the Enneagram from your basic type.
And so for Sevens…
Enneagram Institute said:
…The Direction of Stress or Disintegration means that an average to unhealthy Seven under stress will eventually behave like an average to unhealthy One;
The Direction of Integration or Growth means an integrating Seven goes to Five.
And now I’m compelled to summarize 1, 7, and 5…
I apologize for doing my homework here, but if I don’t do it now – well, ummm…
FROM:
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/typeseven.asp#.Ul0riYvD_IU
Type Seven in Brief
Basic Fear: Of being deprived and in pain
Basic Desire: To be satisfied and content—to have their needs fulfilled
Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over- extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness.
At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.
FROM:
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/typeone.asp#.Ul0zqovD_IU
Type One in Brief
Basic Fear: Of being corrupt/evil, defective
Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be balanced
Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake.
Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience. At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic.
FROM:
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/typefive.asp#.Ul0z84vD_IU
Type Five in Brief
Basic Fear: Being useless, helpless, or incapable
Basic Desire: To be capable and competent
Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation.
At their Best: visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time, and able to see the world in an entirely new way.
CONCLUSION:
Yeah, I really think there is something to the concepts of integration and disintegration.
At my best I am content as I revel in the present, and also direct some of my energy toward creating awesome future possibilities, like badass e5s.
At my worst I am horrendously impatient, and perfectionistic to the point of my gears almost locking up, like unhealthy e1s.
I think there’s value in knowing the extremes one is pre-disposed to arrive at, for better or for worse. Such awareness serves as the beginning of the signaling mechanisms needed to give early warning of a course gone afoul, and adjust one’s course to minimize potential damage and return to the glory that is equilibrium.
I now believe that the creators of the enneagram may have matched each type up in such a way that anyone seeking out the profound wisdom inherent in their point of integration would read and fairly soon thereafter say…â€You know I’m just going to go rogue on this…I just can’t…I’m gonna try and work-it-out with what I already have here and turn it into something healthy all on its own…so yah thanks though...that was...yah thanks.â€
Well stated!
Arrrghhh!!! I did that SO many times (and didn’t even know it)!!!
^This is precisely how I felt about e5 intergration. Halla was my example of the best of everything possible in the e7...which lead me to believe I could at least give it a try. That I wouldn't have to become what I was not in order to be healthy…but rather I could work with what I have. Just this time try working with my eyes open (minus rose colored glasses as well unless intoxicated. okay I'm joking haha.) This has been a great gift.
You are so kind!
I’m humbled; I’m speechless actually. Thank you very much.
One of the hardest things I’ve done in the last few years is to accept “my nature.â€
I’ve always “loved myself†– but “accepting one’s nature†is different than having a healthy concept of self-love; without self-love you’re not likely to keep yourself in good order, to eat well, to exercise, to keep your mind sharp and engaged. But even still – it’s possible to have a well-developed sense of self, without ever having accepted yourself. I was there for a while – a long while…
Over the course of life we all receive feedback, about all kinds of things we do (our work, our behavior, our actions, our words, our writing, our facial expressions, everything!).
We’re told that some of the things we do are good, and some are bad.
Some of use are even told that the way we are (think, feel, act, move) necessitates being categorized as having a behavioral health disorder, in my case ADHD.
- Being diagnosed with ADHD never bothered me.
- Reading/hearing/learning what the negatively perceived characteristics of ADHD didn’t bother me either.
- Being slapped upside the head time and time again when very real events in my life went completely bad as I had never anticipated possible, especially when such things were hurtful to people dear to me – THAT – is what tore me down and rocked me to the core one day.
That’s the moment in time I realized that over time I had (unwittingly) built a very sophisticated house of cards. Did I want to live in that house for the rest of my life? Hell no. So I owned my errors, I owned my predispositions, and held them dear. By recognizing them I disarmed them, so long as I remained cognizant as such – and I have.
So, I torched my house of cards, and began rebuilding – but this time I’m going to build a castle.
Don’t fret over what you can’t change.
Instead, change your perspective and create opportunities from obstacles.
Is the glass of water half empty, or half full? Only you can decide that.
To those who have propagated negative views toward the behaviors of people with ADHD, I wish that one day the literature will focus as much on ADHD’s positive aspects
(things like being creative, being able to think in abstract terms, having enormous amounts of energy, and being in a good mood most of the time) and serve to guide people who have it in constructive ways.
I feel like I’m standing in the warmth of the brightest sun. And kinda like I was just knighted as well. In my pajamas.
Booyah!
I’m glad to know you, Starry!
Pajamas! The official uniform of the E7 Army!!!
In my mind it's a simple math formula. How long can an individual go on living an intrepid lifestyle of all beginnings and no ends...AND all the while simultaneously never addressing their issues in a meaningful way? Well, you factor into the formula things like physical health, enablers, affluence, etc. and you should be able to get a rough estimate as to when the e7s life will collapse in on itself. It's just kinda a shame that everything about the e7 will prevent the e7 from knowing what hit them.
^That is the straight dope!!!
WOW!!!
As for who I was/am 'before and after'... I mean, I got to where it seemed kinda pointless to try and talk to people seeing I no longer knew how to answer casual questions...seeing I no longer really knew who I was. And I said countless times to people here and people I met irl that I 'wish they knew me before...' But that fog is lifting... and since I'm typing directly above Halla's post right now and can see his use of 'the Phoenix rising from the ashes' <-I'm having that butterfly-shivers feeling... thinking EXACTLY!
Isn’t it nice to realize after time has passed and your efforts directed inward that you are exactly the same person as you’ve always been? That feeling makes up for a lot of the pain that it takes to get to the tipping point.
As this dust settles and dissipates I can better recognize that I'm still here...just transformed, stronger, wiser, my 'line-of-sight' has figuratively increased.
Hell yeah you are!!
And I've developed the ability to stop time...and draw fake mustaches and glasses on people with lipstick and markers and then start time again. <-That is just so not true that last one.
That’s hysterical!
Ataraxia (ἀταÏαξία "tranquility") is a Greek term used by Pyrrho and Epicurus for a lucid state of robust tranquility, characterized by ongoing freedom from distress and worry.
Sounds pretty amazing to me.
For the Epicureans, ataraxia was synonymous with the only true happiness possible for a person. It signifies the state of robust tranquility that derives from eschewing faith in an afterlife, not fearing the gods because they are distant and unconcerned with us, avoiding politics and vexatious people, surrounding oneself with trustworthy and affectionate friends and, most importantly, being an affectionate, virtuous person, worthy of trust.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ataraxia
To those who live a life of love, each second of the eternal here and now is the best moment ever.
Carpe Diem!
Respect, gratitude, and best wishes,
-Halla74
