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[INTP] INTP and anger issues

oswinoswald

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Hey guys
I have some questions about INTP and anger.
How INTP usually deal with anger?
Because I have some INTPs in my life but they don't follow an anger pattern.

I mean,

My father:

Get angry really easy and fast about any issue. And he yells, a lot.

One of my best friends:

He hardly gets angry, and when he does, he doesn't yell, doesn't cry, doesn't talk, basically my friend doesn't do anything. (The reason is usually because i've hit him...)

Another friend of mine:

Well, she doesn't get angry really easy but she is not the kind of person who you'll want to make offensive jokes.

Me:

I can't say i hardly get angry... Usually I get angry sometimes at college because it's a place where people usually underestimate me, and i feel i'm
competent there. I get mad at offensive or inappropriate jokes as well (like racist or sexist jokes, or jokes like "u are so dumb and blah blah blah") or when someone is not competent propositaly. Also I don't yell too much, i just idk get angry. When I'm home (when I'm not home I'm in college, when I'm not in college I'm home.) i'm calm, I usually I avoid discussion, and I tend to find the reason my parents get mad really stupid boring or unecessary...


So, what do you guys think? What MBTI says about INTP and anger? It's may be a sign that one of us are not INTPs?


sorry bad english
 

sink

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Being hot-headed doesn't really stem from a specific personality. Everyone gets angry sometimes, the degree and how often it happens varies among people. I find that the more you harbor anger the worse it gets.

Unfortunately, it's a tough habit to break. Going from a very angry to a calm person is possible, you just have to put conscious effort into it. Whenever the need to let out negative emotions arises, instead of giving in to it, one should ask themselves "Is this really worth wasting my nerves on?". And if the answer is no (which it should be, for most things) remove yourself from the situation and breathe until the emotion passes. Rinse and repeat.
 

ceecee

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One of my best friends:

He hardly gets angry, and when he does, he doesn't yell, doesn't cry, doesn't talk, basically my friend doesn't do anything. (The reason is usually because i've hit him...)

Ok. Why?
 

Siúil a Rúin

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It is surprisingly difficult to find information on inferior Fe, even in the links I have on Jung's analysis. This is the easiest, most obvious link to wikipedia. It refers to the occasional outburst in the context of a norm of rationality.

wiki said:
Fe seeks social connections and creates harmonious interactions through polite, considerate, and appropriate behavior. Fe responds to the explicit (and implicit) wants of others, and may even create an internal conflict between the subject’s own needs and the desire to meet the needs of others.[20] Fe drives the INTP to desire harmony in community. At their most relaxed, INTPs can be charming and outgoing among friends, or when they have a clearly defined role in the group. When under stress, however, INTPs can feel disconnected from the people around them, unable to use their extraverted Feeling to reach out to others. As their inferior function, Feeling can be a weak point; when threatened they will hide behind a wall of stoic logic. This can lead them to bottle up their emotions to preserve reason and harmony; but a failure to deal with these concealed emotions can lead to inappropriate outbursts.
 

Ribonuke

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I think it's Demonic Fi; my s.o. is an ISTP and has points where he feels like his rage is boiling over, yet often can't do anything about it because he knows it will have negative social ramifications if he expresses his anger--He also fears that if he lets himself express his rage outwardly, he will lose any sense of control his Ti usually affords him-- I also have a close INTP friend who has similar, if not identical, issues with his anger.

I myself am an ESTP of few convictions, so my Fi is more of a Trickster function that manifests itself as being easily frustrated when others don't realize they are putting me through misery. While I have experienced my fare share of bouts of rage from this, I'd say this is less of an issue for me than with my IxTP brethren.
 

oswinoswald

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Because we like this kind of game
it's not really a hit like a bad one, you know?
it's not with the intention to hurt but sometimes it does.
it's more like i love you so much i'll punch you in the face.
 

oswinoswald

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Being hot-headed doesn't really stem from a specific personality. Everyone gets angry sometimes, the degree and how often it happens varies among people. I find that the more you harbor anger the worse it gets.

Unfortunately, it's a tough habit to break. Going from a very angry to a calm person is possible, you just have to put conscious effort into it. Whenever the need to let out negative emotions arises, instead of giving in to it, one should ask themselves "Is this really worth wasting my nerves on?". And if the answer is no (which it should be, for most things) remove yourself from the situation and breathe until the emotion passes. Rinse and repeat.

Yessss, I know! It's a very very bad habit that i've been trying to break. I'll work hard on it. Thank you.
 

oswinoswald

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I think it's Demonic Fi; my s.o. is an ISTP and has points where he feels like his rage is boiling over, yet often can't do anything about it because he knows it will have negative social ramifications if he expresses his anger--He also fears that if he lets himself express his rage outwardly, he will lose any sense of control his Ti usually affords him-- I also have a close INTP friend who has similar, if not identical, issues with his anger.

I myself am an ESTP of few convictions, so my Fi is more of a Trickster function that manifests itself as being easily frustrated when others don't realize they are putting me through misery. While I have experienced my fare share of bouts of rage from this, I'd say this is less of an issue for me than with my IxTP brethren.

Oh I understand your friend... I feel when i express my rage outwardly i truly lost my sense of control, and i really hate that... I didn't know a Demonic Function could work appear so much
 

Ribonuke

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Oh I understand your friend... I feel when i express my rage outwardly i truly lost my sense of control, and i really hate that... I didn't know a Demonic Function could work appear so much

From what I understand, it's not so much how OFTEN one uses a function, so much as it HOW the function is used.

For instance, I fall into the grip of my Demonic Ne pretty often, yet I always use it to tear myself/others down as opposed to building things up.

Oftentimes, when we'll see other people use what would be our own demonic functions WELL, we'll tend to feel antagonistic because we don't understand how someone could do something well when we ourselves do it so destructively.
 

ceecee

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Because we like this kind of game
it's not really a hit like a bad one, you know?
it's not with the intention to hurt but sometimes it does.
it's more like i love you so much i'll punch you in the face.


Uhh-huh. Ok then.
 

magpie

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If hitting your friend makes him angry, OP, then he doesn't want to be hit. :doh:
 

oswinoswald

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If hitting your friend makes him angry, OP, then he doesn't want to be hit. :doh:

It just makes him angry when it really hurts him, it usually don't. He makes the same with me as well, but i don't get angry when it really hurts, because i know it's just a fool game, i know he didn't want to hurt me.
 

ceecee

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It just makes him angry when it really hurts him, it usually don't. He makes the same with me as well, but i don't get angry when it really hurts, because i know it's just a fool game, i know he didn't want to hurt me.
.

Well, who knows. Someday you might hit someone and they will knock you into the next zip code. So there's hope.
 

SearchingforPeace

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I saw this thread and thought of two places that discuss inferior functions in detail: Quenk and personality junkie.

From Personality Junkie INTP profile (there is much more there including an e-book)



Here is part I of ITPs in the grip

 

SearchingforPeace

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Part 2 of ITPs in the grip

 

SearchingforPeace

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Part 3

 

Ulaes

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the reason for why people express anger the way they do is and what over a complicated answer that extends very far beyond mbti type. looking at their neurological structure on a eeg brain mapping device and looking at their upbringing and their internal coping mechanisms and self esteem etc, would bring clearer answers. and as always... hopefully candy ,too!
 

Yama

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In my experience with INTPs, and specifically an INTP sibling, it's mostly a matter of learning to harness and control inferior Fe. The Fe in my INTP sibling is still largely developing as she is still young. Her Fe mostly only manifests in fits of extreme emotion, such as exploding in anger or uncontrollable sobbing, seemingly out of nowhere. The inferior Fe erupts when a situation becomes overwhelming, and the IxTP with underdeveloped Fe doesn't know quite how to react--the other functions are bypassed and the Fe takes shaky, unstable control, reacting the only way it really knows how--in surprising and uncharacteristic fits of sudden overwhelming emotional expression.

With time, as the IxTP ages and their tertiary and inferior functions become more developed with life experience, these emotional fits become less common, and they learn to harness and express their Fe in more productive and controlled manners. The IxTP with good control over their Fe may find it to be quite the asset, as it helps ground their Ti and remind them of the wider scope of society and people around themselves.
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

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magpie said:
If hitting your friend makes him angry, OP, then he doesn't want to be hit.

Gee, ya think? Social intelligence 101 folks. I guess I'm supposed to lack that.

I wasn't very active with regards to forum participation around this time for reasons I can't remember. Must be the halfling's leaf. Maybe I was celebrating my birthday or something.

I will say that it is not a good idea to go around making INTPs angry for shits and giggles just because they don't seem to do anything. They'll remember it somewhere down the line.

Thinking back on this, it doesn't need to apply to actual hitting. Let me use an illustrative example I pulled from my imagination. Let's say that you're a moderator on a site, and you request that two members participate in a mutual ignore. Only member B requested this, the member A is quite unsure what caused the offense, and the other member is unwilling to provide this information. Later on, despite being the one asking for the ignore, member B starts openly insulting member A, calling him an idiot and insulting his intelligence while referring to him by name. When you receive the reports, you laugh it off and call member A an oversensitive idiot for wasting his time with this. This is going to piss off member A, and will also cause member A to suspect something was off about the whole situation and that some parties may not have been acting in good faith.

If I was member A (speaking purely hypothetically of course), and for some ungodly reasons somebody made me "pick a side" between a site that was moderated like the above, and a site that was moderated in what I felt to be a more even-handed fashion , I would pick the latter. I would have much more positive feelings towards the community where I felt the staff were taking my concerns seriously and listening to me instead of calling me a loser, even if it means I sometimes do not get my way.

I am perhaps not the most trusting of authority, and like to avoid relying on it where possible, but if someone seems worthy of it (with regards to both judgement and moral character), I have no hesitation following it. Again, I reiterate, the key is respect; I bristle at the idea that I am a disgusting worm that cannot make his own decisions in life or pursue his own interests without getting the approval of an annoying ENFJ constantly getting involved in other people's business because they have nothing better to do.

It's like the difference between serving under Captain Picard or Captain Donald Trump. The two are not the same. I will also add that whether the authority is male or female makes no difference to me.


Yama said:
Her Fe mostly only manifests in fits of extreme emotion, such as exploding in anger or uncontrollable sobbing, seemingly out of nowhere.



I used to do so much of the uncontrollable sobbing when driven to anger when I was younger. You can bet that as a male I got a lot of shit for it.
 
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