[MBTI General] infp & estp... does it work?

[scantilyclad]

Actually, I think the true opposite of the INFPs are ENFJs. I have never seen them get along.

that is usually because of differences of strong opinions at least from my experiences anyway.

 

[Mempy]

I have an ENFJ friend, and we were friends in grade school and basically have remained loose childhood friends ever since, but now that we're going to the same college I see what an emotional wreck she is right now. I think ENFJs are awesome, but my friend is really beating herself up right now and pushing herself too hard. She says she worked a forty-hour week waitressing and she's in college! In fact, we have two classes together, but she's missed the last two days of both. Unfortunately, I really don't know what to say to her to help her, but she has me if she needs me. I find that when people are highly critical of themselves, they're also highly critical of others, and this is the case with my ENFJ. I know she's a sweetheart but she's so stressed out right now that we're not very close.

I wish she'd REALIZE how amazingly wonderful she is.

As for INFPs and ESTPs, I think my older bro is an ESTP. He's hilarious, good-looking, has probably had a million girlfriends and gone to a million parties, drunk a million beers, pigged out in hundreds of people's fridges, and just lived a very on-the-go and exciting lifestyle. He's in the military now, but he visited last weekend and we had the most hilariously fun time shopping for movies in the movie store. He began quoting Borat at me, and I laughed and laughed. I really couldn't stop. His smile is just the funniest thing. I love his sense of humor sometimes, and he has the most amazing memory. I mean, he was quoting Borat word for word. Dom Se's, LOL.

One thing I will say though, is that my bro can be surprisingly easily offended and nasty sometimes. I don't know what triggers it, but I've never been treated worse than by him when he's being nasty.

We've had our fights in the past, but I think my brother is overall a really funny and interesting guy. Forceful, but fun. If an INFP and ESTP both like and love each other and commit themselves to work on the relationship together, it can definitely work, just like any relationship between two loving, committed individuals can work. I think my bro is also an E7, and I think that really influences his behavior, so I'd take into account a person's enneagram type as well when trying to understand them.

 

[travelinthrough]

I'm INFP and have been married to an ESTP for over 26 years. Yikes!! No, for the most part it has been great. We rarely argue, and have a good relationship. BUT with that said, there are definitely things that we each need that the other just can't provide.

For him, I think he would rather I lighten up and times, and be more "in the moment." He also tells me I'm not affectionate enough for him. I think maybe that comes with being an introvert. He is very touchy feely and I'm just not.

For me, I really long for deep conversations about life. I feel like most of our conversations are shallow, and if I ever do start telling him my heart's desires and deepest secrets, he looks at me like I'm crazy. He simply doesn't get it!! Not his fault - just the way he is.

So, I would say it CAN work, but you will have to accept these things about each other. If you can't accept this, I would say - run away now - and fast.

 

[mlittrell]

neither of you have similar functions INFP (Fi, Ne, Si, Te) ESTP (Se, Ti, Fe, Ni)...

they make great friends

but relationship (RUNS from cubicle...)

 

[inabobina]

I have been hanging out a lot with a new friend for the past year who happens to be an ESTP...only I didn't know it when I got involved. It was great at first, the differences I mean--kind of like a novelty for me. Then she started inviting me to candle parties and I knew that this person was like nothing I had come in contact before with! I am a designer and when ever I talk about my work she gives me this blank look like she doesn't get me at all! In truth I don't think I get her continual desire to have lots of people around her...now I am scared that my new friend is just using me to pass the time. Like all INFP's I am prone to manipulation (of course I am now attached to her so this doesn't help). I think people should submit their personality profiles before they get involved as friends, lovers, partners or whatever.

 

[edcoaching]

neither of you have similar functions INFP (Fi, Ne, Si, Te) ESTP (Se, Ti, Fe, Ni)...

they make great friends

but relationship (RUNS from cubicle...)

All types can work it out, just not all people can work it out. What matters even more than personality is values. If you value the same things you'll find ways of negotiating preferences. And sometimes for opposites the differences are so obvious that you pick up on them early and therefore start negotiating early!

INFJ married to ESTP for 27 years.

 

[helen]

I thought an ESTJ was the opposite of an INFP.

Anyway, I would like to know what everyone's thoughts are about an INFP (me) and an INTP. I did hear from INTJMom say that her INFP sister dated unsuccessfully with an INTP man, and she ended up successfully marrying an ISTJ man.

My best friend is an INFP. She has been married to an INTP for about five years now. They get along well and have a strong friendship as well as a seemingly happy marriage. They both extrovert intuition, so watching the shared Ne in play during conversations between them is very entertaining, and the T and F differences seem to be more of a complement than a source of misunderstanding.

But, they are both committed to making things work, and INFPs are famous for idealizing relationships they are committed to, so I suppose all this is a factor. I don't think it's just having the dumb luck to find your ideal type pairing (dunno if there is one, really.)

But, yeah, in other news, does anyone have thoughts on INFJ and ISTJ marriages? I haven't come across any in person or online so far.

 

[animenagai]

Socionics pegs it as the most compatible relationship for both sides. Of course, the possibility of one of the two (in most instances, the ESTP) being an asshole changes the real outcome of the pairing.

socionics honestly, is the biggest BS in terms MBTI stuff. not buying it one bit.

honestly, i think you're playing with fire. i'm not one to hate one ESTP's like a lot of members here. however, i do think that 2 people can become too different to communicate. i think the ESTP may not understand an INFP's need for creativity, arts etc. nor do i think the INFP will really enjoy the ESTP's attention to detail or no-nonsense approach. my personal belief is that when it comes to MBTI relationships, you can play around with any of the letters but not the S vs N. it rarely works. too different imo.

 

[mlittrell]

*runs in the opposite direction*

 

[BillieMockrat]

I am really into an ESTP right now and I'm fucking shitting my pants over the prospect of us having like a week long thing where I get absolutely devastated. That being said, I'm totally going for it. It's funny because she hurt my feelings the other day and we had an argument where traditional gender roles were completely switched.

 

[King sns]

I'm going to be really confusing and defy all the other posts...

GO for it. You won't know until you try, and if you don't do it, you'll always just be wondering, what if? Just be aware that it might not work out, and that's okay too. You know what you MAY be in for and so just keep that in mind!! Follow your heart.

 

[Chris_in_Orbit]

^I like the way this girl thinks.

 

[sleuthiness]

Where I work, I tend to feel the most comfortable around the ESTP parents and kids (moms, ha ha ha). Interactions can go so smoothly that I wish I had a friend in the flavor. It feels like someone's lifted the iron curtain and I can be myself without having to second-guess.

 

[sleuthiness]

But that Fe draws me out of my foggy cloak without making me overly wary of the individual.

 

[sleuthiness]

feels... so... good!

 

[redacted]

If you like the person, try it.

Forget about type.

People need to stop using MBTI as some predictive measure of overall subjective compatibility. It's just ridiculous.

 

[sleuthiness]

Predictive? I don't predict how relationships will work out. I observe and interact over time. The concept of making friends is purely hypothetical, as is dating.

 

[sleuthiness]

If you like the person, try it.

Forget about type.

People need to stop using MBTI as some predictive measure of overall subjective compatibility. It's just ridiculous.

Do INFJs like mixed signals? Do you think that that is that a question?

 

[redacted]

Predictive? I don't predict how relationships will work out. I observe and interact over time. The concept of making friends is purely hypothetical, as is dating.

Hypothetical? All these "can x type and y type work" threads are about implementation...

If we're talking about averages, that's one thing. But when we're taking specific people and generalizing them into types, we lose tons of data. If you're talking about two people, talk about the two people, not some archetypes that approximate them.

Do INFJs like mixed signals? Do you think that that is that a question?

Huh?

 

[briochick]

As for INFPs and ESTPs, I think my older bro is an ESTP. He's hilarious, good-looking, has probably had a million girlfriends and gone to a million parties, drunk a million beers, pigged out in hundreds of people's fridges, and just lived a very on-the-go and exciting lifestyle. He's in the military now, but he visited last weekend and we had the most hilariously fun time shopping for movies in the movie store. He began quoting Borat at me, and I laughed and laughed. I really couldn't stop. His smile is just the funniest thing. I love his sense of humor sometimes, and he has the most amazing memory. I mean, he was quoting Borat word for word. Dom Se's, LOL.

One thing I will say though, is that my bro can be surprisingly easily offended and nasty sometimes. I don't know what triggers it, but I've never been treated worse than by him when he's being nasty.

We've had our fights in the past, but I think my brother is overall a really funny and interesting guy. Forceful, but fun.

...It's like your brother is my brother
lol, no, but that's fantastic. My brother is of the same personality, and the same can be said for him, and he has also gone into the military.

I think I could connect with someone like my brother, but he's incredibly smart too.

sorry, that was a bit OT