As a kid, ENTP was what I was. I first took an MBTI test when I was 14ish. The result was ENFP. Then I took it again a bit later and it came out as ENTP. From then on, I have always been a Thinking type.
Now, I'll turn this into a typing thread. Athenian, relax, I will change the title and I'll give you something to talk about. Jennifer, a) don't worry about having missed a typing thread; it was sort of in the introduction, and then I created another one about being an ExTJ, and b) how could you have 'never seen me as J'? I've been here for about a week.
Right, prepare for a monologue. Only the INTJs can help me now.
Just kidding.
On E/I
I've always felt that I was, at heart, Extraverted. Although I've scored Introverted quite recently, as both an INTJ and as an ISTJ, I put this more down to the way in which the questions are phrased than to the fact that I am actually Introverted. Just because I value solitude immensely, and like my space does not make me Introverted. I am Extraverted because I'm energised by meeting people. Even if, before a party or clubbing, I think "fuck, I
really cannot be arsed going out tonight", when I get there it takes me a little while to adapt, and then I like it. Never love, just like. The music might be brilliant, but the combination of drinking, dancing and good music doesn't make a good night out for me. I often have the feeling that I grew up too early, and so that when I wanted to do all the stuff my age group does now, I couldn't legally, because I was too young. I much prefer sitting around and socialising and talking politics to partying. I feel more at home there; I feel it's more my scene, and I enjoy it
far more than partying. Anyway, this is essentially irrelevant. What you can gather from it is that it's not a case of which scene I'm at that determines my Extraversion or Introversion, but the quality of company. The better the company, the more I enjoy myself.
On S/N
I love sensations. I love good music, good food and drink, good company (as expressed above). It energises me, and I love the energising feeling. It gives me a healthy, natural boost. By my best friend's standard, I am practical, down-to-earth and sometimes too single-minded. By society's standards, I am irregular and a bit weird. It's the way I don't give a shit about the little conventions set down by my age group. Flirting? Why? Need? If you want someone, go get them. If they like you, you will pick them up. However, I'm a massive fan of age-old tradition and values, like family, loyalty and honour; that kind of thing. I have questioned them in the past, and I find them to be the best ways of living. This is one of the reasons I have trouble seeing myself as an xSTJ. I haven't just followed these principles through and through, dogmatically. I've actually had a look at everything I believe in, and decided what is best. I have tried and almost always succeeded in living by those standards. This makes me think NT is much more likely than SJ. It's not about "just because"; it's about "because I have analysed these values, and said to myself, 'this is inherently a good way of living; it benefits society'". I hate following things unquestioningly. Firstly, I'm an 8, secondly, I trust myself and my own beliefs and opinions about a matter far more than anyone else could ever make me trust them. This is one reason why I will not be joining the army after I've finished the OTC. My worst fear is to have someone commanding me to 'shoot him'. It's not about the action; it's about being completely subjected to someone in almost every way; mentally, physically and even spiritually. It's a horrible, horrific scenario for me.
One thing I do think I've begun to lack is imagination and open-mindedness. In recent months, I've noticed this, and have begun to change it. As a kid, I used to be so open and accepting of ideas. It's only been in the past two or three years that I've become so single-minded and, more importantly, determined. My ambition has become much more concrete and ambitious, haha. I've settled on a career choice, and have been settled on this for at least a year. I used to dart around like a fickle. Okay, minor changes have occurred, such as "I might be a solicitor instead of a barrister", but the fundamental idea is there; I'm going to earn a lot of money - that is my life goal. Why do I want to do this? Because I want to enjoy the things in life that are comfortable and that give me new and wonderful sensations? To some extent, yes. But what I want to do is create a family, and give them - without spoiling them - the best quality of life I can afford them. This would bring me the utmost happiness, oh yes it would. A nice house, a wife, and two kids. You're damn right it's conventional. But at least I know why I want it, and I'm not doing it because my parents want me to. And who knows, maybe in twenty or thirty years time, my goals may change.
On T/F
This is going to be a much shorter affair. In short, I know I'm T. Grossly over-Thinking, that is. It's the only letter that has not changed (after that first Feeling one) once. I'm logical, analytic, cold and objective, and people dislike me for it. Not all people; but problems do arise. For example, earlier on this year, my cat died. I wasn't sad. My sister was really upset. As she cradled her dead body, I said 'It's just a dead body!' My mother takes this as a defence mechanism, and says I'm upset but am trying to hide it. In all truth and honesty to you people and to everyone I've spoken to about it since, this is complete shit. I was trying to reduce the intensity of the atmosphere, because I felt what I felt, and I say what I say. It really is just a dead body. There's nothing to hold onto. Let it go for god's sake. It just annoyed me, such an irrational action. Another instance; I was talking about my values and beliefs to my mother, her boyfriend and my best friend on a walk a few days ago, and I casually said 'okay, what's worse - genocide of a nation, or popping off some rounds to kill terrorists and murdering innocent civilians in the process?' to get across the point that the British Army was inherently a good institution which is there to protect us. I am very optimistic about the UK and its institutions. I think our prime ministers have always understood what they are doing and why. Anyway, at 'popping off' she kind of went 'Oh Ezra! In a half 'omfg this is hopeless' and a half serious way'. I was fine with it. Clearly she thought I was dehumanising everything. Anyway, I've never doubted my being Thinking.
On P/J
I love order. I love organisation. I love tidiness. I like routine. The thing is, I can't always be bothered to do something about chaos, disorganisation, mess or unplanned actions. Take now, for example. My room is a tip. I'll do something about it when it annoys me, or when I say to myself "Ez, you're a Judger; why isn't your room tidy?" Also, I do like some level of flexibility. But I also love planned action. I kept my work out routine up for months. It's when I've done in my arm or something and have to stop that I find it very hard to get into. I can maintain routine; I just don't always enjoy it. I much prefer new and interesting days. It makes me feel cooler.
Sorry, for the length. Now, decipher my analytical minions, decipher!
