Sorry, I have to ressurect this thread. This is so much fun!
ENTJ: "People just don't know how to do anything properly, so it's my job to tell them and make sure everything's moving smoothly. Why do so many people hate me for that? I'm just trying to make their lives easier!"
ENTP: "Don't you think it's SO cool that I can act so goofy and still be so cerebrally quick? You don't think it's cool? No? Well give me an argument why not...NOW! BRING IT!"
INTP: "I acquired a firm grasp of quantum mechanics and linguistic analysis by the age of six. Now if I could just remember to put both of my shoes on, walking would be just as easy!"
ESTP: "So what if I'm conning my significant other out of money? It's not like I'm not giving anything in return, I mean we're having sex for God's sake!"
ISTP: "As soon as I finish cleaning my motorcycle, I'm gonna go sit in the dark by myself for a while. This is gonna be one great Friday night."
ISTJ: "I don't need to hear about your excuses. Just the facts, please. Don't you feel the need to please authorities? No? Damnit man, what's wrong with you?"
ISFJ: "Why doesn't anyone seem to recognize the work that I do? Don't they like me? Maybe everyone hates me. Gosh, I can't do anything right. Oh well, I'll be quiet about it."
INFJ (IT'S ONLY FAIR! HAHAHA): "Everyone's just a bunch of brain-washed zombies. I'm so sick of people not taking the deeper matters of life seriously. Now why don't I have any friends? Why don't any of these idiots like me? It's not like I'm unaware of how my actions affect others."
ENFJ: "Don't you want to hear about my day? If you feel something, you should share it, no matter how inappropriate it is. But, if it's outside my personal point of view, don't expect me to understand."
ESFP: "Oh my God hey look it's a friend of mine! Oh look, another friend! Oh wow look everyone's my friend! I love having lots of friends and keeping the relationships as shallow as possible! It really tittilates my senses...oh yeah"
ISFP: "Dude...That's cool man...Yeah. Whatever happens is fine....Wait, we're out of weed? Dude, not cool. I'm totally gonna do something about this."
INFP: "I'm just gonna tune out the world and not pay attention to anything. Unless somebody says something that I find offensive. Then there'll be HECK to pay I tell you. HECK!"
ENFP: "Hehe, let's go do something fun! I'm so excited about life right now, this is going to be the best time ever! This is great! It totally makes me forget that my overdue electricity bill is hanging over my head!"
ESFJ: "Don't you understand? I just gave you something. If you don't give me something in return, it means you don't care about me. I just give and give and give and you just take and take! And no, it doesn't matter that you didn't ask me for anything!!!!"
ESTJ: "Someone's gotta lead things properly around here. No, not me, the ENTJs. But I'm gonna follow everything the ENTJ says to promote security and ORDER!!! Order, order, order. Adhere to the man or die!"
INTJ: "People often say I act like a robot, which makes no sense. I would know what constitutes as a robot, as I have built many robots in my life. I could not have built myself because that is entirely illogical."