OptoGypsy
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On Joy!
My thoughts: Conker’s bad fur day is my psychology, David Denis Stepchuk
Know Thyself, ask yourself who are you, while reading it?
On Human Nature
Human nature is like walking among trees under the blue moon stumbling upon a bulging deer at the river bed next to the raging currents, the deer is barely alive, a weeping willow towers over it and out bursts several rats creating a crater running in a scattered pace in several different directions towards nevermore. Vultures come from the silhouettes to devour the carcass. I contemplate what it means to be human in the pits of sheol as I stare in amazement and bewilderment at the eternal vacuum that is the soul. What is human nature, what is its function, why is it misunderstood? Join me as I shine a light behind the shadows to reveal the beasts lurking there. Life is hard and people are difficult, I will stand up with the mythical gods of life and death and explore the time continuum that is the confines of my heart.
Essays:
Hope
Jump into the realm of the spiritual, and you’ll realize that what you call reality is nothing more than a parody, a materialistic parody that is reflected by the idealism of a board of Gods, incompetent Gods that seek out to make the world a better place, of angels and demons, of magicians and detectives, an enchanting, ever-changing world of sunlight and fog. A never ending wooden, creaky bridge carrying across the river into the depths of a waterfall for eternal life in the fog is a sublime hope of stability and routine, to get off the bridge that cannot possibly hold the people that it is carrying, in the past was hellfire and games, watching the world burn. In the future is lions sleeping with sheep, a world of no pain and peace, but in the present all we have is hope a hope, a semblance of the eternal as we watch the glimmer of sunlight in our path and the background of silhouetted trees in the dawn of morning. The spiritual world if we are to look at it through the lens of Christ, the way, the truth and the life is of course not being ran by incompetent Gods but by the perfect triune being, the God hood, as death peers into selfhood, the spiritual world is a world of enchantment, were prophets are charioted away into the timeless, and the spirit talks through burning bushes, not in mirage, or hallucination needing the beholder to take risperidone but through the same power of the resurrection and freedom of the Jews through the splitting of the red sea and the sealing of the powerful Egyptian army, in this destruction there is freedom such as there is freedom in the cross and resurrection of Christ. The snake will not toy with us as the bites of the snake did not have power over those that looked upon the bronze snake for healing, but the snake of Eden is yet in his trickery and deception ways. There is hope and will ever be hope.
The Problem of Pain: An Essay on Theodicy
A Reflection on my own suffering mind: As I stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back into me and I am full of remorse. I am an amateur apologist and even worse off theologian yet I feel a need to write an essay on the most difficult of theological issues, that of pain. In pain is the resurrection, the resurrection of a dead author by his creation, in the library between reality and the mythical, that of the overseeing, omnipotent eye of random chance. In which in times it seems that we live in a book called the Bible, and we need God back into a purposeless culture to answer the question. Or find purpose when our faith seems stupid. In random chance is the holistic whole of Hegelian dogma and Kantian imperatives. This is not a man creating himself into a voodoo doll, pretending to overdose himself with mountains of heroin in the room, only to self-discover that he is not the antichrist while his comrade takes the battery out of the hospital monitor. Making someone glitch into the equation of E= MC^2 * S=Q(1/T2-1/T1). In the hypothesis of the law of thermodynamics, being turned into the consciousness of probability comes the rail tracking of the abused mind by trying to reverse discord, that of disorder, into order, the animate, into the inanimate of rocks. The reversal of a VCR tape as if it is to be found in the pornographic images covering up the senior prom, by having a dream of spaghetti. Not only is it possible for libertarian free will. One must decide what is truly possible to reconcile in this world without going into pseudo-science or the verse of the magical. The magicians conjuring as they make wine into water. We are sentient, conscious beings, and I believe to understand the problem of pain we must discover that we are sentient beings in the greater biological organism that is the corporative state of nature. The sphere that is everywhere and the circumference of nowhere as in the words of pascal will not show up, as time itself is not circular but transparent. A figure of speech. A random conglomeration of events as if it was a collogue on Pinterest. The tiger devours me, yet I am the tiger, the raging river drowns me, yet I am the river, time flows through me, yet I am time, I am the stillness of a leaf in a puddle, as the child splits the earth worm only to discover gene splicing. Know thyself.
1. Who is GOD?
2. What is Human?
3. The Problem of Sin
4. On Redemption
5. Eternal Life
1. Who is GOD?
As any Christian layperson will tell you, God is all knowing, all seeing, and all powerful. The figure of predisposition in the fog. The archetype of the self-conscious. The figure we need to empty out our ego to as he fills us with his I through the Holy Ghost. the feeling of goosebumps we feel when we traverse from earthly Hell, to purgatory, and then into HEAVEN. The teenager traverses Limbo, the mental state of confusion. We can know that GOD is spirit and is never confused. Traversing our landscape like the wind and speaking everything into existence through the word. Through logos. Our most significant thought patterns should focus on nature which will properly open up our optical lens to the majesty of God. Yet the problem of evil arises. He is a loving triangle of the Holy Ghost, Jesus and the Father, he is three in one and one in three without divulging in the unsettling effects of the Bermuda. Yet he is in himself infinite and yet the problem of evil arises. From the genocides and slavery to the Bible to the deaths of children in the modern times, being tortured by their loved ones or having cancer, where is God in all of this?
Sadly, I don’t have the answer, the determinism of the brain in the syndicate of acting on the machinery algorithms of the neurons cannot possibly answer this question. As there is more to it than our nature or nurture can properly answer. The reality of the situation is that most of the pain imposed on human beings is done through human hands. The will of fate will have the stoic bow a knee and God is the vitality of the all being the alpha and the omega. It takes humility to discover that God gave his only son to take in the sin of the world so our sins can be forgiven. To the point of us disliking sin so much that we can’t help but dislike the unforgiveness of the philistine. The drenching of Christs blood in the day of tribulation. The basin is not going to save us what will save us is a renewal of the heart. The heart can only be renewed through the understanding that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that wickedness will not be reconciled with holiness. That there is no need to escape because we have hope, our hope is in Jesus Christ. We are bondservants. Our souls belong to Satan and yet Jesus Christ has us covered, through his blood. We don’t need to tarnish or seer our conscience through collecting deeds and wills in order to satisfy the devil. We simply accept Christ as our Lord and savior. We do not need to feed in the blood sacrifice of legion by tarnishing ourselves anymore. We simply give up our I to the eternal. As the finite gives up to the infinite, yet it is a part of it. God is looking at us to make a change, to make a difference in our surroundings and step up. To grow up and challenge the evil of the world by taking on the flag not of surrender but of justice. Not of simply category imperatives and making the woman bleed because she thinks she is a doll, but in the psychological evaluation of the healthy mind being renewed by God. God gave us his word so we can do the right thing. The genocides and slavery where not that of the modern-day context. Not even that of vengeance but of retributions. What else is there to do in the day of children being sacrificed, or the depravity of earthly sociological Hell. America slavery was nothing like that of Israel, America slavery was that of torture and humiliation to the point that the only merriment found was in the African American singing songs and dancing or that of fighting back like Frederick Douglas did or the movie Django Unchained. Israelites were bondservants. Just like in modern day America, people that where in debt to their creditors. This has been a trait of ancient civilization. That of the forking paths of the different classes in time immemorial. Let’s also not kid ourselves in the thought that the founding fathers based their freedom of religion and the state and their writings on their religious beliefs as they based them on the native Americans who were wise and learned to reconcile all tribes while the original immigrants where criminals sent to America that learned from the Native Americans only to be revolutionized and evolve to the state of freedom that we have today. Not that of the bishops praying and hoping in divinity but the love of nature. With that being said we know God because he first knew us and we have a relationship with him because he wanted a relationship with us. God is with us.
2. What is human?
I have always been fascinated with humans, their nature, their whims, their passions, weaknesses and strengths. From a man leaving Christian ministry to try to make himself the spirit of death by blowing out his temple. To the young adult not being able to commit suicide no matter how bad the situation at home is. We are traversed into nothingness yet we are everything, nothingness itself is an ontological something otherwise it will have no claim to be an area of destination. A noun as much as it is a verb. God breathe life into us, we are sentient objects, in need of relationship, friendship and love, yet loss, heartbreak, death is all good for us. We live through it but we don’t need to fear it as it reconciles us to the stratosphere of the eternal. In pain is the tragedy comedic, the ability to experience life as it is now. As Hamlet said “to be or not to be”, or in modern terms “To exist or not to exist”. Yet it leaves psychological scars, such as a woman putting her child in the oven for disobedience, as if she was the witch from Hansel and Gretel. The statistical factual anomalies hunt the mind. Yet most parents don’t give up their child to the rapist or murderer for a lesson in reformation but do it through positive behavioral methods such as positive conditioning or giving them the freedom to learn and discover for themselves. Without the need to grow up into the absurdism of Camus, where Sisyphus is rolling up a rock for all of their life span only to discover the absurdity in it as the jester switches shoes the opposite direction and turns his pants front to back in order to devoid the monster of its senses. To that of the nausea feeling someone experiences in existential angst as they realize that most people put on a face to fit their circumstance instead of being their true self. Viewing people being corporate slaves, a cog in the machine. Drunken dollar signs. We must realize that the I is the biggest hurdle any human can experience in the face of tragedy, as I originally said in this essay, I stared at the abyss, and the abyss stared back at me leading me to feel remorse. there will be retribution to the unrepentant soul here on earth and in immortality. the soul will tarnish and be destroyed as the Christ said “do not fear the one that can destroy the body but the one that can destroy the soul”. Everything works out in the end for the believer as there is love in the heart to face any obstacle, hope for a better tomorrow and faith that today will handle itself. The delusional nature of mankind is to be feared yet there is friendship within each one of us and within us as we are reconciled with God.
The question rests now what we must be saved from and that is what the next part will go into that of the problem of sin. We go through a process of purification from that of impulse, hatred, reality, softening, fusion, and finally reconciliation with nature, one another, ourselves and with God.
3. What is Sin or the problem of Sin:
Sin may be defined in two different ways either that of transgression against God or that of missing the mark. It comes from the story of Adam and Eve. When the first humans decided to eat from the tree of good and evil rendering them from free spirit discoverers discovering that water goes downstream, and that reptiles lay eggs. To conscious beings, beings that are now capable of reflecting and seeing into the seascape of the abyss. Not only into discovery and hard work but that of being capable of being evil. Rather this epic story is seen in the literal contextual lens or mythology. If the latter we can say that the notion of evil or sin came with the mitochondria eve, and sin with the priests of a tribe of prehuman ancestors and later on in the whim to please the discovered gods from fire or to give them rain. I take the literal view of creationism, but as can be discovered sin comes from the notion of good and evil, an animal lives by its laws. By the law of nature, and even if a lion can speak to us in human language, we would not be able to understand him as Wittgenstein said, there is a language barrier between us and other forms of beings in nature, an experience difference and a mechanistic difference, creating a divide. With us as the head but we are still a part of the greater organism that is nature. We are the beneficiaries and the management team and we should not spoil it with carbon dioxide emissions and coal burning or poaching. Nevertheless, we must be able to commute and get around, but not in the sacrifice of others. Sin comes from pride and the curiosity of the God complex which the snake had and so does our inner snake. The part of the brain that lives on impulse or calculated malice. We must not be deceived by it but allow ourselves to be emptied out like a vessel and be filled by living water. To be shaped by the potter whom is God. Sin brings in the death wish. The spirit of death, in the sail boat that is life within the greater vortex of time, is nothing and everything. We have nothing to lose by turning to God and everything to gain, yet it can also be seen as nothingness will engulf and unsettle the mind leading us to become a tabular rosa, the reflection of the worldly, without a sense of identity, negative combability. Sin leads to death and therefore the cost of sin is the death penalty, it is a suffocating fog of cluelessness and unlove. a place where love cannot exist, since God is love, we need God for us to love, and the redeeming qualities of his sacrifice on the cross for all of mankind, though our nature is able of liking one another or even doing favors it is a scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours, with altruism mixed into the soup of life. We need unconditional love and sacrifice, even to that of the cross which can only come through faith. the lions are coming, martyrdom of the saints in the gaze of the Madonna. Without it we are kind at our best, maybe even charitable but lost, confused, and corrupt, always willing for the bad and doing the good. We have inherent wickedness within us. The sin gene if you must that leaves us with blame and bad faith. Hypocrisy if we don’t go through the process of purification or as some call its sanctification. To become more like the image of Christ, through a gradual, grueling process but the yolk that we are meant to carry is made easy through Christ and due to his sacrifice and love for us.
We begin living by impulse, thinking that we are doing the best we can do and the right thing, through our inherent moral compass. God has written his law in every heart, the law of nature. When we fail, we become full of hatred for ourselves, and others. We wake up from our solipsism of subjectivity into objective reality and begin to notice the true stance we have the nature of El Shaddai and the earth around us. We then begin accepting forgiveness and realizing the faults with our previous rationalizations of putting the creator in equal footing to ourselves and see the face of our sin for what it truly is and begin to soften up. We fuse with nature, our loved ones and ourselves doing what is best for the better good instead of rebelling against nature and we learn the truth of ourselves as we melt, our ego breaks as if it is drowning and in comes the new being. The Christ like being, the born-again Christian that will spend the rest of his life being sanctified. This is the gradual process of conversion, and we must come to terms with it and must self-realize and become more beneficial to the community by doing our best to be a contributive part in eliminating pain and bringing others to repentance. As Jesus Christ said you knew I was in prison yet did not visit me, knew I was hungry, did not clothe me, was hungry did not feed me, was in the hospital yet did not go to see me, this was paraphrased in my own words. The point is what we do for each other is and the least of us is what we do for Christ and will all contribute to our identity in the kingdom of God.
There is the problem of Children suffering and what we do with that, to tarnish a young soul, it would be better to be dead then do so. As Jesus Christ said it would be better to have a boulder tied around your ankle and thrown into the sea them mislead a young person. Also, that the kingdom of God will be for those with childlike faith like the child, a curiosity that can’t be quenched, so doing anything to the maternal connection of a mother and child, or to a child’s well-being in the Ivan Karamazov sense of human suffering is punishable with death or the promise of Hell. With that being said all of our accumulative experiences if brought to the hands of a loving elder can create fortitude and strong resolve in those that have had an impoverished childhood or life. There is hope in you yet. On the topic of cancer in a young human being, it may possibly be reconciled with the answer of God saving the young soul, and letting their lives speak for itself if not raised in the Christian household or receiving the revelation of true faith.
4. On Redemption
My childhood notion of the world was that of a separate metaphysical subject from earth. I conceived it as a voodoo doll that needed its eyes plucked out through the biological concept of the bottleneck effect. The Khan Academy defines the bottleneck effect as “the bottleneck effect is an extreme example genetic drift that happens when the size of a population is severely reduced for an example a natural disaster.” I had taken the black pill by the age of eight, and by twelve used the alias soft dick to use soft porn to create hard-core proofs, that were anti-establishment. To fight against the symbol of rape, for the benefit of rape victims and the modern-day incarnation of Joan of Arcs’. This was done after reading Fallen Leaves by Vasyli Rozanov at a nearby church library. That philosopher is known for writing in prose and trying to prove and propagate the idea to get closer to our spiritual side we need the idea of sex, in it. I was a book of contradictions. A walking paradox, an ever-evolving spiral towards the road of liberation, with the aesthetic of parody. I both feared and was fascinated with the concept of the voodoo doll and being able to swap segments of your spirit and soul with a life form, for example a homunculus. To escape the pains of eternal damnation, and therefore becoming trying to become one since child hood, the idea of transfiguration, of the marionette becoming a real boy since childhood. This was all coated with gnostic turpitude.
The key phrase in all of this is the road to liberation or in other words that of freedom. I would feel guilty for desiring a bottleneck effect in the limelight of modern events if it wasn’t for Jesus Christ in my life and the notion of purpose in all of the pain and suffering. Which is up to each individual to reach the conclusion too. My conclusion is that of the events of COVID19, the antifa riots and the Ukraine war, opening up our eyes as to how we are using our resources and the events brining us all together. Still the world remains ‘Satan’s domain, even though it can be argued as Leonid Andreyev did in his Satan’s diary that man can one up Satan in deception, in this particular example that of using an airhead to trick Satan into thinking she is the Madonna. A loose woman that knows all the right things to say, and Satan giving up his fortune to the idea of being married to her and for her benefactor to be able to blow up the world of uranium, Satan is not a king without a head. So, if Satan’s domain is the world and God’s is the church with God having created the universe, what is the point, what is the point of not simply pinching hallucinatory demons away or trying to control them rather it is our fear of them or to use them to our benefit. in the poshlust that is the simplicity of religion. What is the point of knowing about sin, and falling into the shadow of death? How do we go about life without feeling guilty? if we have inflicted pain on another, or how do we reconcile with pain. In a dark space of our mind, the eternal sphere which circumference is nowhere, the idea of God since ancient civilization becomes a labyrinth, a complex maze in consciousness? There is redemption knowing that no matter our history, our baggage’s, the skeletons in our closet, or that of emotional wounds we can know that Christs blood covers all and there is no reason to be ashamed that we will be redeemed on earth. Even though as the Bible points out here on earth through the poetry books and books of wisdom we will always be in eternal conflict with good and evil, there is an everlasting joy in the heart of the believer. Rather in ignorance or malice, we may be redeemed if we repent, and we may find joy. To be reconciled with earth and man, and become a shining example of the goodness of man. If apostle Paul can be transformed from a dead pharisee that persecuted and tortured Christians into an evangelist for the Christian faith, that shook the foundations of belief itself through an encounter with Christ it can be assumed that so can we even if the encounter was just with the sun’s rays and temporary blindness, the soft gentle voice shook him inside out to becoming one of the great Christians of history. We too can say that we are bondservants that are redeemed through Christ. We won’t be redeemed here. As a childhood story goes that I wrote as a child concerning Nakita, whose street name is the Dancing Devil. A woman that pretended to be wasted drunk only to carve swastikas on those that tried to have their way with her. Which come from Buddhistic emblem of peace onto man for attempting to rape her or actually being raped, to warn other women about these corrupt men even if they come off as nice guys. They have the corruption of sin in them and only when they take full responsibility for their actions and sin can they be awakened. There is no redemption to be found but only a noir semblance of making your own path, your own destiny, to the walk of death, only Jesus Christ can redeem us and redeem others.
5. Eternal life
This segment will be broken down into three parts, Hell, Planet Earth, and Heaven. Eternal life is not a duration of time but living in the present with God forever lasting in timelessness or without God, without love. The idea of having to burn in Hell and knowing that I can be purified and go to Heaven, to be redeemed from my sinful self leaves me in goosebumps. I feel cold thinking about Hell, and then with the encounter of salvation goosebumps go down my spine. The art of transfiguration. In example the time Jesus turned white as light to speak to Moses and Elijah and the disciples witnessing it. Or King Nebuchadnezzar witnessing a fourth man like that of the son of man in the fiery furnace.
1. Hell: I personally dislike the fact that allot of churches indoctrinate kids into believing in God through the concept of Hell. A Hell that puts fear into the child’s mind, a fear that is not only unsettling but crippling but infectious, a parasite or a virus of the mind that can leave the young person crippled for the rest of their life, living in anxiety. A life of inaction. Believing in God only due to fear instead of genuine faith this is what is coined as bad faith. I personally don’t know how Hell is going to be, but it can be said that it won’t be like the depictions of old. It will be a retributive place where the soul will be destroyed. A place without love and holiness as it will voided from God. It will be a place of darkness. A place for those that brought cruelty, asinine pain unto others for their own pleasure. A place that is forever in the present, and ghostly, ghastly and eternal. A place that can help the hearts of the inflicted and their families. Even if they don’t want to be reconciled with the pain or forgive can know that there will be divine, sovereign justice at the end. A hope that comes from God, a hope that the sum of all equations doesn’t lead to hopelessness, or that of religious poising, that of the cult leader speaking to his group from the grave but of a truth in sanctification and hope. In a hopeless situation, the two perpendicular lines meet in the infinite revealing the truth of the temporal human life and giving the answers that our hearts sought after her in this existence on planet earth. A light amidst the fog.
2. Planet Earth: We must toil the land. hard work not only kills time but brings us closer to God. In the idea of life on earth we must realize that we must safely guard it, protect it and not ruin it but the eschatological sum will come from human hands. There is the question of people dying from nature, and bugs leading to illness, but both the bug and the person are living under the law of nature and the laws of nature are what direct us and control life. With the Bible giving us guidance throughout life, and the ability to know God and his love for us and his creation. A great book on the dichotomy of good and evil in mankind’s relationship with nature and will against it, the friction of conflict, is the Black Spider by Jeremias Gothelf.
3. Heaven: Heaven should never be seen as paradise for the lucky. As if it was trip to the Bahamas for those that won the golden ticket. Or a place where there is only worshipping of God as God looks down upon the millions of people soaking it all in, “yes, worship me, I did create you after all didn’t I and I loved all of you except for the LGBT”, God isn’t an unwanted party guest, that walks and pouts around waiting for someone to praise him. It is for our own benefit to live in thanksgiving as it warms the heart, and leaves the mind in peace. We must come to realize that Heaven is a place of love, and holiness and that worshipping includes so much more than simply singing hymns and playing the harp with angels it is a place to be reconciled with ourselves and others as we are finally redeemed. In the ultimate Joy, the greatest blessing of all that of being reconciled with the one who pained with us and basked in our blessings, the love of God.
With all this being said it can be argued that we lose consciousness after death and reverberate to a life like the one we had before we came to earth. That the animation of the heart stops, and all is back into the abyss. Yet the spirit is discovered in the blood, the life form of mankind soaks the ground and we say as Cain did “am I my brother’s benefactor?” I believe in eternal life, with the same conviction that I believe infinity exists between one and two.
Conclusion:
The problem of pain comes into place when we are not connected with God or think that the agenda of God is to bring in pain to ourselves, to another or nature. If it is not biblical than it is delusion, deception, that of the brain playing tricks on us as we wonder on the will of our life. We must come to understand that the will of our life is to be reconciled with God, ourselves and others. Pain comes from being in rebellion with humanity, and earth leaving us to be separate from God, or better said the truth. Know thyself.
On Joy!
Abstract: Internal happiness doesn’t come from the world but by meditating on God’s word, worshiping God, and praying. Living a life of thanksgiving, and commitments, thinking about yourself in Gods light, how not to waste your life, and focusing on God’s will for your life. This is what I have been slowly learning over the last couple of years. It is about being in peace with yourself, loving yourself by first loving God.
People tread through the woods imagining the time of sir Arthurs round table, and the battles of those great knights. With fists clenched they tread forward like the brave prophets of the desert quenching for spiritual food and water. Seeking strength in stoicism and spirituality in the love of the Lord and loving the Lord, where are they going, where are they treading towards, towards what stream, towards what oasis, when only there are mirages, the palm trees, evergreen forests, water that can only fill their quench being an improbable possibility. Will they ever be satisfied, or will they continue moving in unison like soldiers, the holy martyrs, the nuns, the monks, the simple people of simplicity seeking hope in that which is outside of themselves. Seeing spirits in the trees, the houses, in fighting the good battle, in the sun, the clouds, the birds, the fish, the animals and especially in the herbs and the mushrooms. Hunting evermore for a satisfying meal, in light, in darkness, in the evermore wonder of the imagination, but can it satisfy the soul. Is happiness to be found in these places, in this state of consciousness, in life, in death, in timelessness, or is it an ever-vanishing creature, a giant in which the ancient Ukrainians believed in and the fable told that the only way of escape is through confusion, by acting like the buffoon, to put your pants on backwards, and the shoes pointing in different directions as if they were Jerusalem’s Jesters. I believe that we must fight the good fight, to seek truth in internal happiness, this is the question that I have been pondering on. The tyrants of old and new, as the prophets weep and seek strength in God, the dictators’ lust for status, fear and the promise of the whore of Babylon, the conquering of nature and death. I have no reason for fear, for status, for power yet we all have the propensity for evil, as the Russian mystics have put it learning from the Jews, the 20th century was the century of Baal, no I have no need for these thought experiments, in finding the spirit through new porn industries, in finding the spirit in any form of Baal, in the hatred of Beelzebub, I do not want to be a slave to darkness, as only corruption is to be found in the death of the soul, in the philosophy of progress through scientism and the mechanistic way of thinking, we are all androids seeking to be human, to be natural but falling into social norms, in different ways of thinking, while we try to kill the God that left us with the paradoxical questions of life. I seriously ponder if this way of thinking is where truth is to be found or if it is poshlust? I have sought truth in this form of thinking but have only found that it only displays half of the picture of the truth. The belief that God is a mythical being outside of science has become the new stance of many of the new greats, forgetting humanities past, and even the remembrance of the instinct to worship the beautiful, the majestic, is considered to be a product of the gene fallacy, as if it was ingrained in us by the Neanderthals, the cave men that beat women with a stick over the head to prove their love for them as they dragged them home and made them sign a wedding agreement. No I believe in science, I believe in human ingenuity, and I believe that the way forward is through learning more in the sciences, science is not something that is simply believed in but is an unquestioning fact of reality, it is the study of reality, but what if I was to tell you that what we know as reality is a transcending dream, an illusion, a cradle between two abysses, and solely relying on it will only prove to use mechanisms and not agency, everything may be the bioproduct of game theory, algorithms, but there is an eternal, an infinite that displays these numbers, the Fibonacci is simply a rhythm to the orchestral background, the God behind the curtains of the thin veneer between the timelessness that the prophet stumbles upon and nature which the scholars seek. God is the infinite in the finite. Join me as I push on forward with both fists clenched, unto the promise of internal happiness.
Internal happiness comes from the multiverses coming together under one picture frame, the whisper of the trees melting the heart as the sunset looks over you at the beach and the doves fly over you in all of their majestic beauty. Yet this can be argued for external happiness as well, one coming from an inner joy at the face of beauty, and the other being the beautiful that brings a smile on that rose cheeked face as you see the spring blossoms grow in the end of winter, the transitioning of seasons, as Vivendi plays in your mind, the transcendence of beauty in the mundane, but is this all there is to it. This happiness is fleeting, one minute we are gazing at the face of the eternal and the next we are pondering on work, school or something else that occupies our mind, our neuron transmitters can only be open for a duration of time before we become to overthink and allow our lives to cloud the eternal. What are we wondering about, what illusions are taking over our mind when we escape the present, is there more to happiness? Is it found in being estranged to the worldly, in the nostalgic as Lots wife looks back at the pillar of burning fire, turning her into a pillar of salt? Is it found in experimenting and discovering for self, rather it be hedonism or existentialism in the gaze of nihilism as King Solomon did? He discovered that all is vanity and only God can bring joy. He lived a complex life, a life of wisdom and riches, a life of prosperity, a life that prosperity preachers can only wish to live only to find that it is vanity, rebelling in pride and lust, Job rebelled in pride and sorrow, and the prophets fell in sorrow as they saw that Gods word was being ignored, even though they found happiness in God as the birds of the sky fed them, God visited them, but we cannot control happiness and cannot stare it at its face as it would kill us as Moses discovered when he was only able to look at Gods back. God is holy, we fall short of holiness, we grovel like the pig in the mud avoiding pearls or the dog that goes back to its vomit. The holy fool being portrayed as an enforcer, a rapist and a pyro in the minds of sinners as they cheat on their wives thinking that the devil is right and that Elijah was nothing more than a mad man. They fall into internal masochism, into alcoholism, opiate users, and lost in clouded judgement as they try to discover their own joys, without God I don’t believe internal happiness can be found. We may be able to describe all of nature, the universe, the multiverse, the tree of life, the multiple branches of time being seen in the beehive but we are not happy. There is more to it than this, joy is defined according to Rick Warren as: “Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation,” and by Gregory Skovoroda as “Knowing thyself,” a life of self-reflection. I believe that that they come hand to hand in holy matrimony towards the bigger picture on what internal happiness is.
Know Thyself!
I love Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ is holding the finger of King Midas from turning himself into a golden slave leading him to be frozen in space and time, let’s not be a twisted King Midas, creating the Minitours Maze into New Jerusalem, through the depths of Hell, Atlas will drop the world and it will crumble like a jigsaw puzzle only to be reassembled by death as a Picasso painting, the absurdity of the house of mirrors. Let’s be anchored on earth as Voltaire’s apple spins around the world for six days and lands on the head on the seventh, I will be anchored to the beauty of the nature of the Christ. The beating of the human heart is found in the binary of the kicks of the fetus to the rhythm of Mozart’s Requiem. Let’s not be an Amadeus in the tears of falling of frogs on the window shield, the pornographic image of the OT in the tears of an inferiority complex but let’s be full of life. I choose Christ, I love Christ! You’re the best in the ashes of sin is found a day chewing on the crumbs of coke, the silliness of someone chasing after cars, the tears of hope to Christ are found joy, true joy, the joy of Christ. As I have Satan packing its bag by rebuking him, and sending it to torture those that it doesn’t like, the childish maniacs of love creating and going against the Holy Spirit. I dislike the vanity of sin but I don’t want to see darkness in the night sky but instead the beauty of the moon and the stars, in Christ there is salvation and hope. I love Christ, love those in the need of the happiness of peace, let’s be wise like the dove and be as joyful as Hawaii. I want to be a part of your world Jesus Christ, away darkness and allow me to traverse into light. I want to help those with mental health issues. Know thyself!
The insanity of Alice is that she is on an illusory checkboard board, and is aiming to cut a hundred-foot Psilocybin shroom with the Mad Matter praising her for her choice due to it being her un-birthday and the Cheshire is preaching the self-promotion of self-choice. She is getting excited as the hookah caterpillar is rubbing himself against her smoking colorful 0’s and 1’s into her nostrils while asking the infamous question…. “Who are you?” All is vanity, will Alice go through a bad trip and scratch of her face off next to the hanging tree or will she find warmth in the great commission? We all have an inner irrational voice, please listen to your rational voice. Know thyself, live a life of self-reflection and a life contemplating on the fabric of nature and God. As Charles Spurgeon put it has been said by someone that “the proper study of mankind is man.” I will not oppose the idea, but I believe it is equally that the proper study of God’s elect is God; the proper study of a Christian is the Godhead. The highest science, the loftiest speculation, the mightiest philosophy, which can ever engage the attention of a child of God, is the name, the nature, the person, the work, the doings, and the existence of the great God whom he calls his father. There is something exceedingly improving to the mind in a contemplation of the Divinity. It is a subject so fast, that all our thoughts are lost in its immensity; so deep, that our pride is drowned in its infinity. Other subjects we can compass and grapple with; in them we feel a kind of self-content, and go our way with the thought, ‘behold I am wise.’ But when we come to this master science finding that our plumbline cannot sound its depth, and that the eagle eye cannot see its height, we turn away with the thought that vain man would be wise, but he is like a wild ass’s colt; and with a solemn exclamation, “I am but of yesterday, and know nothing.” No subject of contemplation will tend more to humble than thoughts of God.” Know thyself!
My thoughts: Conker’s bad fur day is my psychology, David Denis Stepchuk
Know Thyself, ask yourself who are you, while reading it?
On Human Nature
Human nature is like walking among trees under the blue moon stumbling upon a bulging deer at the river bed next to the raging currents, the deer is barely alive, a weeping willow towers over it and out bursts several rats creating a crater running in a scattered pace in several different directions towards nevermore. Vultures come from the silhouettes to devour the carcass. I contemplate what it means to be human in the pits of sheol as I stare in amazement and bewilderment at the eternal vacuum that is the soul. What is human nature, what is its function, why is it misunderstood? Join me as I shine a light behind the shadows to reveal the beasts lurking there. Life is hard and people are difficult, I will stand up with the mythical gods of life and death and explore the time continuum that is the confines of my heart.
Essays:
Hope
Jump into the realm of the spiritual, and you’ll realize that what you call reality is nothing more than a parody, a materialistic parody that is reflected by the idealism of a board of Gods, incompetent Gods that seek out to make the world a better place, of angels and demons, of magicians and detectives, an enchanting, ever-changing world of sunlight and fog. A never ending wooden, creaky bridge carrying across the river into the depths of a waterfall for eternal life in the fog is a sublime hope of stability and routine, to get off the bridge that cannot possibly hold the people that it is carrying, in the past was hellfire and games, watching the world burn. In the future is lions sleeping with sheep, a world of no pain and peace, but in the present all we have is hope a hope, a semblance of the eternal as we watch the glimmer of sunlight in our path and the background of silhouetted trees in the dawn of morning. The spiritual world if we are to look at it through the lens of Christ, the way, the truth and the life is of course not being ran by incompetent Gods but by the perfect triune being, the God hood, as death peers into selfhood, the spiritual world is a world of enchantment, were prophets are charioted away into the timeless, and the spirit talks through burning bushes, not in mirage, or hallucination needing the beholder to take risperidone but through the same power of the resurrection and freedom of the Jews through the splitting of the red sea and the sealing of the powerful Egyptian army, in this destruction there is freedom such as there is freedom in the cross and resurrection of Christ. The snake will not toy with us as the bites of the snake did not have power over those that looked upon the bronze snake for healing, but the snake of Eden is yet in his trickery and deception ways. There is hope and will ever be hope.
The Problem of Pain: An Essay on Theodicy
A Reflection on my own suffering mind: As I stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back into me and I am full of remorse. I am an amateur apologist and even worse off theologian yet I feel a need to write an essay on the most difficult of theological issues, that of pain. In pain is the resurrection, the resurrection of a dead author by his creation, in the library between reality and the mythical, that of the overseeing, omnipotent eye of random chance. In which in times it seems that we live in a book called the Bible, and we need God back into a purposeless culture to answer the question. Or find purpose when our faith seems stupid. In random chance is the holistic whole of Hegelian dogma and Kantian imperatives. This is not a man creating himself into a voodoo doll, pretending to overdose himself with mountains of heroin in the room, only to self-discover that he is not the antichrist while his comrade takes the battery out of the hospital monitor. Making someone glitch into the equation of E= MC^2 * S=Q(1/T2-1/T1). In the hypothesis of the law of thermodynamics, being turned into the consciousness of probability comes the rail tracking of the abused mind by trying to reverse discord, that of disorder, into order, the animate, into the inanimate of rocks. The reversal of a VCR tape as if it is to be found in the pornographic images covering up the senior prom, by having a dream of spaghetti. Not only is it possible for libertarian free will. One must decide what is truly possible to reconcile in this world without going into pseudo-science or the verse of the magical. The magicians conjuring as they make wine into water. We are sentient, conscious beings, and I believe to understand the problem of pain we must discover that we are sentient beings in the greater biological organism that is the corporative state of nature. The sphere that is everywhere and the circumference of nowhere as in the words of pascal will not show up, as time itself is not circular but transparent. A figure of speech. A random conglomeration of events as if it was a collogue on Pinterest. The tiger devours me, yet I am the tiger, the raging river drowns me, yet I am the river, time flows through me, yet I am time, I am the stillness of a leaf in a puddle, as the child splits the earth worm only to discover gene splicing. Know thyself.
1. Who is GOD?
2. What is Human?
3. The Problem of Sin
4. On Redemption
5. Eternal Life
1. Who is GOD?
As any Christian layperson will tell you, God is all knowing, all seeing, and all powerful. The figure of predisposition in the fog. The archetype of the self-conscious. The figure we need to empty out our ego to as he fills us with his I through the Holy Ghost. the feeling of goosebumps we feel when we traverse from earthly Hell, to purgatory, and then into HEAVEN. The teenager traverses Limbo, the mental state of confusion. We can know that GOD is spirit and is never confused. Traversing our landscape like the wind and speaking everything into existence through the word. Through logos. Our most significant thought patterns should focus on nature which will properly open up our optical lens to the majesty of God. Yet the problem of evil arises. He is a loving triangle of the Holy Ghost, Jesus and the Father, he is three in one and one in three without divulging in the unsettling effects of the Bermuda. Yet he is in himself infinite and yet the problem of evil arises. From the genocides and slavery to the Bible to the deaths of children in the modern times, being tortured by their loved ones or having cancer, where is God in all of this?
Sadly, I don’t have the answer, the determinism of the brain in the syndicate of acting on the machinery algorithms of the neurons cannot possibly answer this question. As there is more to it than our nature or nurture can properly answer. The reality of the situation is that most of the pain imposed on human beings is done through human hands. The will of fate will have the stoic bow a knee and God is the vitality of the all being the alpha and the omega. It takes humility to discover that God gave his only son to take in the sin of the world so our sins can be forgiven. To the point of us disliking sin so much that we can’t help but dislike the unforgiveness of the philistine. The drenching of Christs blood in the day of tribulation. The basin is not going to save us what will save us is a renewal of the heart. The heart can only be renewed through the understanding that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that wickedness will not be reconciled with holiness. That there is no need to escape because we have hope, our hope is in Jesus Christ. We are bondservants. Our souls belong to Satan and yet Jesus Christ has us covered, through his blood. We don’t need to tarnish or seer our conscience through collecting deeds and wills in order to satisfy the devil. We simply accept Christ as our Lord and savior. We do not need to feed in the blood sacrifice of legion by tarnishing ourselves anymore. We simply give up our I to the eternal. As the finite gives up to the infinite, yet it is a part of it. God is looking at us to make a change, to make a difference in our surroundings and step up. To grow up and challenge the evil of the world by taking on the flag not of surrender but of justice. Not of simply category imperatives and making the woman bleed because she thinks she is a doll, but in the psychological evaluation of the healthy mind being renewed by God. God gave us his word so we can do the right thing. The genocides and slavery where not that of the modern-day context. Not even that of vengeance but of retributions. What else is there to do in the day of children being sacrificed, or the depravity of earthly sociological Hell. America slavery was nothing like that of Israel, America slavery was that of torture and humiliation to the point that the only merriment found was in the African American singing songs and dancing or that of fighting back like Frederick Douglas did or the movie Django Unchained. Israelites were bondservants. Just like in modern day America, people that where in debt to their creditors. This has been a trait of ancient civilization. That of the forking paths of the different classes in time immemorial. Let’s also not kid ourselves in the thought that the founding fathers based their freedom of religion and the state and their writings on their religious beliefs as they based them on the native Americans who were wise and learned to reconcile all tribes while the original immigrants where criminals sent to America that learned from the Native Americans only to be revolutionized and evolve to the state of freedom that we have today. Not that of the bishops praying and hoping in divinity but the love of nature. With that being said we know God because he first knew us and we have a relationship with him because he wanted a relationship with us. God is with us.
2. What is human?
I have always been fascinated with humans, their nature, their whims, their passions, weaknesses and strengths. From a man leaving Christian ministry to try to make himself the spirit of death by blowing out his temple. To the young adult not being able to commit suicide no matter how bad the situation at home is. We are traversed into nothingness yet we are everything, nothingness itself is an ontological something otherwise it will have no claim to be an area of destination. A noun as much as it is a verb. God breathe life into us, we are sentient objects, in need of relationship, friendship and love, yet loss, heartbreak, death is all good for us. We live through it but we don’t need to fear it as it reconciles us to the stratosphere of the eternal. In pain is the tragedy comedic, the ability to experience life as it is now. As Hamlet said “to be or not to be”, or in modern terms “To exist or not to exist”. Yet it leaves psychological scars, such as a woman putting her child in the oven for disobedience, as if she was the witch from Hansel and Gretel. The statistical factual anomalies hunt the mind. Yet most parents don’t give up their child to the rapist or murderer for a lesson in reformation but do it through positive behavioral methods such as positive conditioning or giving them the freedom to learn and discover for themselves. Without the need to grow up into the absurdism of Camus, where Sisyphus is rolling up a rock for all of their life span only to discover the absurdity in it as the jester switches shoes the opposite direction and turns his pants front to back in order to devoid the monster of its senses. To that of the nausea feeling someone experiences in existential angst as they realize that most people put on a face to fit their circumstance instead of being their true self. Viewing people being corporate slaves, a cog in the machine. Drunken dollar signs. We must realize that the I is the biggest hurdle any human can experience in the face of tragedy, as I originally said in this essay, I stared at the abyss, and the abyss stared back at me leading me to feel remorse. there will be retribution to the unrepentant soul here on earth and in immortality. the soul will tarnish and be destroyed as the Christ said “do not fear the one that can destroy the body but the one that can destroy the soul”. Everything works out in the end for the believer as there is love in the heart to face any obstacle, hope for a better tomorrow and faith that today will handle itself. The delusional nature of mankind is to be feared yet there is friendship within each one of us and within us as we are reconciled with God.
The question rests now what we must be saved from and that is what the next part will go into that of the problem of sin. We go through a process of purification from that of impulse, hatred, reality, softening, fusion, and finally reconciliation with nature, one another, ourselves and with God.
3. What is Sin or the problem of Sin:
Sin may be defined in two different ways either that of transgression against God or that of missing the mark. It comes from the story of Adam and Eve. When the first humans decided to eat from the tree of good and evil rendering them from free spirit discoverers discovering that water goes downstream, and that reptiles lay eggs. To conscious beings, beings that are now capable of reflecting and seeing into the seascape of the abyss. Not only into discovery and hard work but that of being capable of being evil. Rather this epic story is seen in the literal contextual lens or mythology. If the latter we can say that the notion of evil or sin came with the mitochondria eve, and sin with the priests of a tribe of prehuman ancestors and later on in the whim to please the discovered gods from fire or to give them rain. I take the literal view of creationism, but as can be discovered sin comes from the notion of good and evil, an animal lives by its laws. By the law of nature, and even if a lion can speak to us in human language, we would not be able to understand him as Wittgenstein said, there is a language barrier between us and other forms of beings in nature, an experience difference and a mechanistic difference, creating a divide. With us as the head but we are still a part of the greater organism that is nature. We are the beneficiaries and the management team and we should not spoil it with carbon dioxide emissions and coal burning or poaching. Nevertheless, we must be able to commute and get around, but not in the sacrifice of others. Sin comes from pride and the curiosity of the God complex which the snake had and so does our inner snake. The part of the brain that lives on impulse or calculated malice. We must not be deceived by it but allow ourselves to be emptied out like a vessel and be filled by living water. To be shaped by the potter whom is God. Sin brings in the death wish. The spirit of death, in the sail boat that is life within the greater vortex of time, is nothing and everything. We have nothing to lose by turning to God and everything to gain, yet it can also be seen as nothingness will engulf and unsettle the mind leading us to become a tabular rosa, the reflection of the worldly, without a sense of identity, negative combability. Sin leads to death and therefore the cost of sin is the death penalty, it is a suffocating fog of cluelessness and unlove. a place where love cannot exist, since God is love, we need God for us to love, and the redeeming qualities of his sacrifice on the cross for all of mankind, though our nature is able of liking one another or even doing favors it is a scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours, with altruism mixed into the soup of life. We need unconditional love and sacrifice, even to that of the cross which can only come through faith. the lions are coming, martyrdom of the saints in the gaze of the Madonna. Without it we are kind at our best, maybe even charitable but lost, confused, and corrupt, always willing for the bad and doing the good. We have inherent wickedness within us. The sin gene if you must that leaves us with blame and bad faith. Hypocrisy if we don’t go through the process of purification or as some call its sanctification. To become more like the image of Christ, through a gradual, grueling process but the yolk that we are meant to carry is made easy through Christ and due to his sacrifice and love for us.
We begin living by impulse, thinking that we are doing the best we can do and the right thing, through our inherent moral compass. God has written his law in every heart, the law of nature. When we fail, we become full of hatred for ourselves, and others. We wake up from our solipsism of subjectivity into objective reality and begin to notice the true stance we have the nature of El Shaddai and the earth around us. We then begin accepting forgiveness and realizing the faults with our previous rationalizations of putting the creator in equal footing to ourselves and see the face of our sin for what it truly is and begin to soften up. We fuse with nature, our loved ones and ourselves doing what is best for the better good instead of rebelling against nature and we learn the truth of ourselves as we melt, our ego breaks as if it is drowning and in comes the new being. The Christ like being, the born-again Christian that will spend the rest of his life being sanctified. This is the gradual process of conversion, and we must come to terms with it and must self-realize and become more beneficial to the community by doing our best to be a contributive part in eliminating pain and bringing others to repentance. As Jesus Christ said you knew I was in prison yet did not visit me, knew I was hungry, did not clothe me, was hungry did not feed me, was in the hospital yet did not go to see me, this was paraphrased in my own words. The point is what we do for each other is and the least of us is what we do for Christ and will all contribute to our identity in the kingdom of God.
There is the problem of Children suffering and what we do with that, to tarnish a young soul, it would be better to be dead then do so. As Jesus Christ said it would be better to have a boulder tied around your ankle and thrown into the sea them mislead a young person. Also, that the kingdom of God will be for those with childlike faith like the child, a curiosity that can’t be quenched, so doing anything to the maternal connection of a mother and child, or to a child’s well-being in the Ivan Karamazov sense of human suffering is punishable with death or the promise of Hell. With that being said all of our accumulative experiences if brought to the hands of a loving elder can create fortitude and strong resolve in those that have had an impoverished childhood or life. There is hope in you yet. On the topic of cancer in a young human being, it may possibly be reconciled with the answer of God saving the young soul, and letting their lives speak for itself if not raised in the Christian household or receiving the revelation of true faith.
4. On Redemption
My childhood notion of the world was that of a separate metaphysical subject from earth. I conceived it as a voodoo doll that needed its eyes plucked out through the biological concept of the bottleneck effect. The Khan Academy defines the bottleneck effect as “the bottleneck effect is an extreme example genetic drift that happens when the size of a population is severely reduced for an example a natural disaster.” I had taken the black pill by the age of eight, and by twelve used the alias soft dick to use soft porn to create hard-core proofs, that were anti-establishment. To fight against the symbol of rape, for the benefit of rape victims and the modern-day incarnation of Joan of Arcs’. This was done after reading Fallen Leaves by Vasyli Rozanov at a nearby church library. That philosopher is known for writing in prose and trying to prove and propagate the idea to get closer to our spiritual side we need the idea of sex, in it. I was a book of contradictions. A walking paradox, an ever-evolving spiral towards the road of liberation, with the aesthetic of parody. I both feared and was fascinated with the concept of the voodoo doll and being able to swap segments of your spirit and soul with a life form, for example a homunculus. To escape the pains of eternal damnation, and therefore becoming trying to become one since child hood, the idea of transfiguration, of the marionette becoming a real boy since childhood. This was all coated with gnostic turpitude.
The key phrase in all of this is the road to liberation or in other words that of freedom. I would feel guilty for desiring a bottleneck effect in the limelight of modern events if it wasn’t for Jesus Christ in my life and the notion of purpose in all of the pain and suffering. Which is up to each individual to reach the conclusion too. My conclusion is that of the events of COVID19, the antifa riots and the Ukraine war, opening up our eyes as to how we are using our resources and the events brining us all together. Still the world remains ‘Satan’s domain, even though it can be argued as Leonid Andreyev did in his Satan’s diary that man can one up Satan in deception, in this particular example that of using an airhead to trick Satan into thinking she is the Madonna. A loose woman that knows all the right things to say, and Satan giving up his fortune to the idea of being married to her and for her benefactor to be able to blow up the world of uranium, Satan is not a king without a head. So, if Satan’s domain is the world and God’s is the church with God having created the universe, what is the point, what is the point of not simply pinching hallucinatory demons away or trying to control them rather it is our fear of them or to use them to our benefit. in the poshlust that is the simplicity of religion. What is the point of knowing about sin, and falling into the shadow of death? How do we go about life without feeling guilty? if we have inflicted pain on another, or how do we reconcile with pain. In a dark space of our mind, the eternal sphere which circumference is nowhere, the idea of God since ancient civilization becomes a labyrinth, a complex maze in consciousness? There is redemption knowing that no matter our history, our baggage’s, the skeletons in our closet, or that of emotional wounds we can know that Christs blood covers all and there is no reason to be ashamed that we will be redeemed on earth. Even though as the Bible points out here on earth through the poetry books and books of wisdom we will always be in eternal conflict with good and evil, there is an everlasting joy in the heart of the believer. Rather in ignorance or malice, we may be redeemed if we repent, and we may find joy. To be reconciled with earth and man, and become a shining example of the goodness of man. If apostle Paul can be transformed from a dead pharisee that persecuted and tortured Christians into an evangelist for the Christian faith, that shook the foundations of belief itself through an encounter with Christ it can be assumed that so can we even if the encounter was just with the sun’s rays and temporary blindness, the soft gentle voice shook him inside out to becoming one of the great Christians of history. We too can say that we are bondservants that are redeemed through Christ. We won’t be redeemed here. As a childhood story goes that I wrote as a child concerning Nakita, whose street name is the Dancing Devil. A woman that pretended to be wasted drunk only to carve swastikas on those that tried to have their way with her. Which come from Buddhistic emblem of peace onto man for attempting to rape her or actually being raped, to warn other women about these corrupt men even if they come off as nice guys. They have the corruption of sin in them and only when they take full responsibility for their actions and sin can they be awakened. There is no redemption to be found but only a noir semblance of making your own path, your own destiny, to the walk of death, only Jesus Christ can redeem us and redeem others.
5. Eternal life
This segment will be broken down into three parts, Hell, Planet Earth, and Heaven. Eternal life is not a duration of time but living in the present with God forever lasting in timelessness or without God, without love. The idea of having to burn in Hell and knowing that I can be purified and go to Heaven, to be redeemed from my sinful self leaves me in goosebumps. I feel cold thinking about Hell, and then with the encounter of salvation goosebumps go down my spine. The art of transfiguration. In example the time Jesus turned white as light to speak to Moses and Elijah and the disciples witnessing it. Or King Nebuchadnezzar witnessing a fourth man like that of the son of man in the fiery furnace.
1. Hell: I personally dislike the fact that allot of churches indoctrinate kids into believing in God through the concept of Hell. A Hell that puts fear into the child’s mind, a fear that is not only unsettling but crippling but infectious, a parasite or a virus of the mind that can leave the young person crippled for the rest of their life, living in anxiety. A life of inaction. Believing in God only due to fear instead of genuine faith this is what is coined as bad faith. I personally don’t know how Hell is going to be, but it can be said that it won’t be like the depictions of old. It will be a retributive place where the soul will be destroyed. A place without love and holiness as it will voided from God. It will be a place of darkness. A place for those that brought cruelty, asinine pain unto others for their own pleasure. A place that is forever in the present, and ghostly, ghastly and eternal. A place that can help the hearts of the inflicted and their families. Even if they don’t want to be reconciled with the pain or forgive can know that there will be divine, sovereign justice at the end. A hope that comes from God, a hope that the sum of all equations doesn’t lead to hopelessness, or that of religious poising, that of the cult leader speaking to his group from the grave but of a truth in sanctification and hope. In a hopeless situation, the two perpendicular lines meet in the infinite revealing the truth of the temporal human life and giving the answers that our hearts sought after her in this existence on planet earth. A light amidst the fog.
2. Planet Earth: We must toil the land. hard work not only kills time but brings us closer to God. In the idea of life on earth we must realize that we must safely guard it, protect it and not ruin it but the eschatological sum will come from human hands. There is the question of people dying from nature, and bugs leading to illness, but both the bug and the person are living under the law of nature and the laws of nature are what direct us and control life. With the Bible giving us guidance throughout life, and the ability to know God and his love for us and his creation. A great book on the dichotomy of good and evil in mankind’s relationship with nature and will against it, the friction of conflict, is the Black Spider by Jeremias Gothelf.
3. Heaven: Heaven should never be seen as paradise for the lucky. As if it was trip to the Bahamas for those that won the golden ticket. Or a place where there is only worshipping of God as God looks down upon the millions of people soaking it all in, “yes, worship me, I did create you after all didn’t I and I loved all of you except for the LGBT”, God isn’t an unwanted party guest, that walks and pouts around waiting for someone to praise him. It is for our own benefit to live in thanksgiving as it warms the heart, and leaves the mind in peace. We must come to realize that Heaven is a place of love, and holiness and that worshipping includes so much more than simply singing hymns and playing the harp with angels it is a place to be reconciled with ourselves and others as we are finally redeemed. In the ultimate Joy, the greatest blessing of all that of being reconciled with the one who pained with us and basked in our blessings, the love of God.
With all this being said it can be argued that we lose consciousness after death and reverberate to a life like the one we had before we came to earth. That the animation of the heart stops, and all is back into the abyss. Yet the spirit is discovered in the blood, the life form of mankind soaks the ground and we say as Cain did “am I my brother’s benefactor?” I believe in eternal life, with the same conviction that I believe infinity exists between one and two.
Conclusion:
The problem of pain comes into place when we are not connected with God or think that the agenda of God is to bring in pain to ourselves, to another or nature. If it is not biblical than it is delusion, deception, that of the brain playing tricks on us as we wonder on the will of our life. We must come to understand that the will of our life is to be reconciled with God, ourselves and others. Pain comes from being in rebellion with humanity, and earth leaving us to be separate from God, or better said the truth. Know thyself.
On Joy!
Abstract: Internal happiness doesn’t come from the world but by meditating on God’s word, worshiping God, and praying. Living a life of thanksgiving, and commitments, thinking about yourself in Gods light, how not to waste your life, and focusing on God’s will for your life. This is what I have been slowly learning over the last couple of years. It is about being in peace with yourself, loving yourself by first loving God.
People tread through the woods imagining the time of sir Arthurs round table, and the battles of those great knights. With fists clenched they tread forward like the brave prophets of the desert quenching for spiritual food and water. Seeking strength in stoicism and spirituality in the love of the Lord and loving the Lord, where are they going, where are they treading towards, towards what stream, towards what oasis, when only there are mirages, the palm trees, evergreen forests, water that can only fill their quench being an improbable possibility. Will they ever be satisfied, or will they continue moving in unison like soldiers, the holy martyrs, the nuns, the monks, the simple people of simplicity seeking hope in that which is outside of themselves. Seeing spirits in the trees, the houses, in fighting the good battle, in the sun, the clouds, the birds, the fish, the animals and especially in the herbs and the mushrooms. Hunting evermore for a satisfying meal, in light, in darkness, in the evermore wonder of the imagination, but can it satisfy the soul. Is happiness to be found in these places, in this state of consciousness, in life, in death, in timelessness, or is it an ever-vanishing creature, a giant in which the ancient Ukrainians believed in and the fable told that the only way of escape is through confusion, by acting like the buffoon, to put your pants on backwards, and the shoes pointing in different directions as if they were Jerusalem’s Jesters. I believe that we must fight the good fight, to seek truth in internal happiness, this is the question that I have been pondering on. The tyrants of old and new, as the prophets weep and seek strength in God, the dictators’ lust for status, fear and the promise of the whore of Babylon, the conquering of nature and death. I have no reason for fear, for status, for power yet we all have the propensity for evil, as the Russian mystics have put it learning from the Jews, the 20th century was the century of Baal, no I have no need for these thought experiments, in finding the spirit through new porn industries, in finding the spirit in any form of Baal, in the hatred of Beelzebub, I do not want to be a slave to darkness, as only corruption is to be found in the death of the soul, in the philosophy of progress through scientism and the mechanistic way of thinking, we are all androids seeking to be human, to be natural but falling into social norms, in different ways of thinking, while we try to kill the God that left us with the paradoxical questions of life. I seriously ponder if this way of thinking is where truth is to be found or if it is poshlust? I have sought truth in this form of thinking but have only found that it only displays half of the picture of the truth. The belief that God is a mythical being outside of science has become the new stance of many of the new greats, forgetting humanities past, and even the remembrance of the instinct to worship the beautiful, the majestic, is considered to be a product of the gene fallacy, as if it was ingrained in us by the Neanderthals, the cave men that beat women with a stick over the head to prove their love for them as they dragged them home and made them sign a wedding agreement. No I believe in science, I believe in human ingenuity, and I believe that the way forward is through learning more in the sciences, science is not something that is simply believed in but is an unquestioning fact of reality, it is the study of reality, but what if I was to tell you that what we know as reality is a transcending dream, an illusion, a cradle between two abysses, and solely relying on it will only prove to use mechanisms and not agency, everything may be the bioproduct of game theory, algorithms, but there is an eternal, an infinite that displays these numbers, the Fibonacci is simply a rhythm to the orchestral background, the God behind the curtains of the thin veneer between the timelessness that the prophet stumbles upon and nature which the scholars seek. God is the infinite in the finite. Join me as I push on forward with both fists clenched, unto the promise of internal happiness.
Internal happiness comes from the multiverses coming together under one picture frame, the whisper of the trees melting the heart as the sunset looks over you at the beach and the doves fly over you in all of their majestic beauty. Yet this can be argued for external happiness as well, one coming from an inner joy at the face of beauty, and the other being the beautiful that brings a smile on that rose cheeked face as you see the spring blossoms grow in the end of winter, the transitioning of seasons, as Vivendi plays in your mind, the transcendence of beauty in the mundane, but is this all there is to it. This happiness is fleeting, one minute we are gazing at the face of the eternal and the next we are pondering on work, school or something else that occupies our mind, our neuron transmitters can only be open for a duration of time before we become to overthink and allow our lives to cloud the eternal. What are we wondering about, what illusions are taking over our mind when we escape the present, is there more to happiness? Is it found in being estranged to the worldly, in the nostalgic as Lots wife looks back at the pillar of burning fire, turning her into a pillar of salt? Is it found in experimenting and discovering for self, rather it be hedonism or existentialism in the gaze of nihilism as King Solomon did? He discovered that all is vanity and only God can bring joy. He lived a complex life, a life of wisdom and riches, a life of prosperity, a life that prosperity preachers can only wish to live only to find that it is vanity, rebelling in pride and lust, Job rebelled in pride and sorrow, and the prophets fell in sorrow as they saw that Gods word was being ignored, even though they found happiness in God as the birds of the sky fed them, God visited them, but we cannot control happiness and cannot stare it at its face as it would kill us as Moses discovered when he was only able to look at Gods back. God is holy, we fall short of holiness, we grovel like the pig in the mud avoiding pearls or the dog that goes back to its vomit. The holy fool being portrayed as an enforcer, a rapist and a pyro in the minds of sinners as they cheat on their wives thinking that the devil is right and that Elijah was nothing more than a mad man. They fall into internal masochism, into alcoholism, opiate users, and lost in clouded judgement as they try to discover their own joys, without God I don’t believe internal happiness can be found. We may be able to describe all of nature, the universe, the multiverse, the tree of life, the multiple branches of time being seen in the beehive but we are not happy. There is more to it than this, joy is defined according to Rick Warren as: “Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation,” and by Gregory Skovoroda as “Knowing thyself,” a life of self-reflection. I believe that that they come hand to hand in holy matrimony towards the bigger picture on what internal happiness is.
Know Thyself!
I love Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ is holding the finger of King Midas from turning himself into a golden slave leading him to be frozen in space and time, let’s not be a twisted King Midas, creating the Minitours Maze into New Jerusalem, through the depths of Hell, Atlas will drop the world and it will crumble like a jigsaw puzzle only to be reassembled by death as a Picasso painting, the absurdity of the house of mirrors. Let’s be anchored on earth as Voltaire’s apple spins around the world for six days and lands on the head on the seventh, I will be anchored to the beauty of the nature of the Christ. The beating of the human heart is found in the binary of the kicks of the fetus to the rhythm of Mozart’s Requiem. Let’s not be an Amadeus in the tears of falling of frogs on the window shield, the pornographic image of the OT in the tears of an inferiority complex but let’s be full of life. I choose Christ, I love Christ! You’re the best in the ashes of sin is found a day chewing on the crumbs of coke, the silliness of someone chasing after cars, the tears of hope to Christ are found joy, true joy, the joy of Christ. As I have Satan packing its bag by rebuking him, and sending it to torture those that it doesn’t like, the childish maniacs of love creating and going against the Holy Spirit. I dislike the vanity of sin but I don’t want to see darkness in the night sky but instead the beauty of the moon and the stars, in Christ there is salvation and hope. I love Christ, love those in the need of the happiness of peace, let’s be wise like the dove and be as joyful as Hawaii. I want to be a part of your world Jesus Christ, away darkness and allow me to traverse into light. I want to help those with mental health issues. Know thyself!
The insanity of Alice is that she is on an illusory checkboard board, and is aiming to cut a hundred-foot Psilocybin shroom with the Mad Matter praising her for her choice due to it being her un-birthday and the Cheshire is preaching the self-promotion of self-choice. She is getting excited as the hookah caterpillar is rubbing himself against her smoking colorful 0’s and 1’s into her nostrils while asking the infamous question…. “Who are you?” All is vanity, will Alice go through a bad trip and scratch of her face off next to the hanging tree or will she find warmth in the great commission? We all have an inner irrational voice, please listen to your rational voice. Know thyself, live a life of self-reflection and a life contemplating on the fabric of nature and God. As Charles Spurgeon put it has been said by someone that “the proper study of mankind is man.” I will not oppose the idea, but I believe it is equally that the proper study of God’s elect is God; the proper study of a Christian is the Godhead. The highest science, the loftiest speculation, the mightiest philosophy, which can ever engage the attention of a child of God, is the name, the nature, the person, the work, the doings, and the existence of the great God whom he calls his father. There is something exceedingly improving to the mind in a contemplation of the Divinity. It is a subject so fast, that all our thoughts are lost in its immensity; so deep, that our pride is drowned in its infinity. Other subjects we can compass and grapple with; in them we feel a kind of self-content, and go our way with the thought, ‘behold I am wise.’ But when we come to this master science finding that our plumbline cannot sound its depth, and that the eagle eye cannot see its height, we turn away with the thought that vain man would be wise, but he is like a wild ass’s colt; and with a solemn exclamation, “I am but of yesterday, and know nothing.” No subject of contemplation will tend more to humble than thoughts of God.” Know thyself!
