forum self v real life

[tkae.]

I had a thread years ago asking what it was about the relative anonymity of an internet forum that makes people feel free to act like total assholes and say things that they would never say in real life.

predictably, someone pointed out that people can't physically hurt them if they are an asshole on the internet

Given a few years more thought of how people appear online versus how they are in real life (and having met a couple of forum members a few times, most of whom rarely if ever post here anymore), I kind of think that it's not that simple. Some people are assholes online because nobody can beat them up over the internet (yet... I'm still waiting for that glorious day!), but other people behave differently in other manners. Some people may be kinder if they realize nobody is watching, and some may let loose and show a sense of humor and other people may be more open when they don't have to look people that they are telling in the eye every day.

How does the relative anonymity of an internet forum affect how people present themselves on here v in their every day lives?

It's not an issue of anonymity for me as it is my environment when I'm posting. I'm in a comfortable computer chair relaxing to ASMR videos, usually unwinding after studying. It tends to make me break things down into basics rather than being diplomatic or politically correct.

For instance, I'm very unwilling to argue here. In real life, I'd have civil discussions with give and take that involve both listening and speaking. Here, I just put out what I'm saying. If someone disagrees, then I usually make maybe one response and don't see the need for any more discussion. They've either understand what I'm saying and we've both gained all that we can from the other, or they're unwilling to listen and I have no need to continue. In either case, two posts usually gets the job done.

I'm also much softer in real life. I put things out as possibilities and ease people into ideas. Here, I just throw them out there with the evidence and the argument backing them up, and either people take them or they don't. I'm too relaxed in my chair and enjoying the ASMR too much to really care which.

It comes across as a bit colder than I really am, but I'm just not willing to invest the time and energy to come across 100% of the time as truly patient and sensitive as I actually am.

 

[Yama]

I think after having talked to many forumers over chat, my forum self and real-life self have melded together more. Whereas pre-chat I tended to be more serious on the forum, and more playful outside of it, I think I've reached a comfort level where I can be more playful here now as well.

But with 97% less typos.

 

[/DG/]

I think after having talked to many forumers over chat, my forum self and real-life self have melded together more. Whereas pre-chat I tended to be more serious on the forum, and more playful outside of it, I think I've reached a comfort level where I can be more playful here now as well.

But with 97% less typos.

What's wrong with typo;afkj

 

[Yama]

What's wrong with typo;afkj

i dontknow i guess they jsut arent as appreciated by the wides forum audeicne so i try not to typo to be consdiereat

 

[GIjade]

I'm actually the same on and off line. I respect people who deserve respect, I'm nice to people who are nice to me, and I give a nice compliment to people who deserve it. On the other hand, if I don't respect someone, no matter who they are, they'll know it. IOW, you get what you deserve, according to my standards, when you interact with me, wherever.

 

[Tilt]

IRL, I am a bit of a smart ass. I am much more tenacious, aloof, shrewd, and technical. Online, I am considerably more emotive and fluffy. It's a way to relax and express my softer and vulnerable side.

 

[Mole]

The Literate Individual and the eTribal vibe

The real self is an individual while the forum self is tribal.

After twelve years of compulsory schooling the real self is a literate individual, while being raised on TV, radio and at the internet we have learnt to tune into the vibe.

So we are at an interesting moment in culture, we are at the point where the literate individual meets electronic tribal man.

This is reminiscent of the cultural clash between literate colonial individuals and traditional tribal man.

In that first clash, traditional tribal man came of second best, but how will the literate individual fare under electronic tribal man?

We have some indication of our future in China.

 

[Cellmold]

The real self is an individual while the forum self is tribal.

After twelve years of compulsory schooling the real self is a literate individual, while being raised on TV, radio and at the internet we have learnt to tune into the vibe.

So we are at an interesting moment in culture, we are at the point where the literate individual meets electronic tribal man.

This is reminiscent of the cultural clash between literate colonial individuals and traditional tribal man.

In that first clash, traditional tribal man came of second best, but how will the literate individual fare under electronic tribal man?

We have some indication of our future in China.

The literate individual is already dead and has been for centuries.

 

[chickpea]

i don't think i'm that different, maybe more willing to engage in conversations that i would ignore or keep my mouth shut during IRL. the bigger difference is the demographic i'm surrounded by and how i'm percieved as a result of that. like not nerdy
enough for this forum and too nerdy for my real life? lol

 

[Mole]

The literate individual is already dead and has been for centuries.

Indeed, the God of the Book died in the 19th century, and the God of the electron was born with the Electric Telegraph in 1840.

And the patron saint of the internet is Marshall McLuhan.

 

[Hiraeth]

I was thinking about starting a thread on this topic, but I've already found this one, so I am going to resurrect it because this particular subject has been on my mind lately...

I think people see me as much more outgoing than I really am in real life. I very rarely interact much with others and just recently contacted an old friend that I haven't talked to in months because I realized it's been too long. The only thing that makes me seem more "out there" is that I do dress flamboyantly at times, but part of it is that it would be easier to have people initiate conversation with me, otherwise I easily go unnoticed in the background. I'm very shy and would never talk to strangers I don't know up front and am not the type that goes out much at all unless it's for something I need. I also very rarely talk about my personal life unless it's someone I can completely trust and who is usually another female, but even then I still can't open up all the way. I am one of the most introverted people I know, but I'm pretty sure I don't give off that vibe at all, which is amusing to me.

Anyways, just wanted to get this off my chest.

 

[Abendrot]

I was thinking about starting a thread on this topic, but I've already found this one, so I am going to resurrect it because this particular subject has been on my mind lately...

I think people see me as much more outgoing than I really am in real life. I very rarely interact much with others and just recently contacted an old friend that I haven't talked to in months because I realized it's been too long. The only thing that makes me seem more "out there" is that I do dress flamboyantly at times, but part of it is that it would be easier to have people initiate conversation with me, otherwise I easily go unnoticed in the background. I'm very shy and would never talk to strangers I don't know up front and am not the type that goes out much at all unless it's for something I need. I also very rarely talk about my personal life unless it's someone I can completely trust and who is usually another female, but even then I still can't open up all the way. I am one of the most introverted people I know, but I'm pretty sure I don't give off that vibe at all, which is amusing to me.

Anyways, just wanted to get this off my chest.

Really? You struck me as one of the more introverted introverts on this forum.

As for me, I act the same irl as I do on the forum. I am also typically the first to initiate conversations irl, even if I talk less than the others do.

 

[Hiraeth]

Really? You struck me as one of the more introverted introverts on this forum.

As for me, I act the same in real life as I do on the forum. I am also typically the first to initiate conversations in real life, even if I talk less than they do.

I've had people order my type around and "I" was either 3rd or last in stacking, so I assumed people saw me as not very introverted. Well, at least I know I don't necessarily appear as I think I do.

 

[Mayflower]

I'm a bit more restrained on here than irl. Trolling is a natural pastime toward all those who know me well.

 

[Taibreah]

I'm totally introverted in real life/offline life. It would take an extrovert to get me to go anywhere fun and do spontaneous things. That's not to say I don't ever go anywhere, but I won't just go and do things on a whim by myself. I enjoy my quiet life, but it can be a drag sometimes, and that's when I need my extroverts. Heh. I will initiate nothing.

I think I'm more talkative online, but still not very outgoing; trying to be. I also think because it's online I'm more comfortable being able to take the time to gather my thoughts to compose my message. Out in the real world it's like I don't get much of a chance to do that.

 

[Numbly Aware]

I'm the same. Except I'm not as sexy as I like to think I am.

 

[Mole]

Digital natives see no difference between online and offline, whereas the literate natives are trained to disengage from the world as they read a book, so it is natural for them to distinguish between online and offline.

So we have the book literate and the computer literate, with quite different views of the world. And the kicker is that the book is now the content of the computer.

See, here is a book http://robynbacken.com/text/nw_research.pdf which is the content of the internet.

 

[PumpkinMayCare]

I differentate between the "online-world" and the "offline-world" quite a lot. But aside from the fact that I'm even more private online than I am in real life, I act quite the same. Though I must say, since this is an English forum, I think I come across extremly different. That's just how it is when you use a a foreign language to communicate. (And even more so when your foreign language is still at the basic-level. But when talking in my mother tongue, most people think I'm a teacher - that's a quite common feedback. So the difference between my English-skills and my mother tongue is astonishingly big).

 

[Falcarius]

Falcarius speaks about himself in third person a lot less in real life compared to this forum!!!

On this forum, Falcarius is much more open and trusting than he is in real life. There are things people dinosaurs here probably know what people dinosaurs in real life don’t know about Falcarius. people Dinosaurs regularly complain to Falcarius that he is hard to get to know and tends to only let them get close to him unless he really trust them. So yeah, he is much more open on here.

Falcarius' conversations are probably just as likely oscillating between the ridiculous to thoughtful in real life as they are here. More funny here and more awkward in real life. He is more easy going here; more on guard in real life and much much more likely to clash with others in real life.

 

[five sounds]

I'm the same everywhere, by which I mean the social environemnts on any online or offline platform combined with my own state can produce the same range of expression and behavior.

Forum posting is nice cuz I can edit and backspace and stuff, so I might be a little more cogent here (yikes i know), but i try to keep my writing style conversational and unaffected for the sake of not compromising authenticity.