ceecee
Coolatta® Enjoyer
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2008
- Messages
- 15,955
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 8w9
I'm interested to find out how common this experience is out there:
I'm an INTJ, my social circle is small to the point of being non-existent, but when I do go out, it's usually because I have been invited out by more social friends, especially ENFP types.
I had an amusing experience last night that I now realize is a recurring pattern - ENFP and their idea of planning...
I suppose from an ENFP point of view, it starts out as an urge to be around their friends - just a general feeling of "I'M ALIVE AND I WANT TO HAVE FUNNN!"
The ENFP starts messaging all their friends. I find that typically the event is scheduled for TONIGHT!!!
The messages are typically exciting and upbeat.. "Come along! X will be there, Y will be there! We're going to do ABC!!!!"
I rock up to find only a handful of people actually present - it turns out that most people didn't reply, were busy or will be joining maybe later perhaps possibly.
ENFP still seems happy, keeps everyone engaged and happy despite the tiny numbers. The original plans have to be scrapped because there's just not enough people, but the ENFP starts coming up with new ideas.
The group generally has fun, feeding quite a lot off the ENFP's enthusiasm, jokes and random singing and dancing, but the need to create new plans on-the-spot as a committee generally leads to 1-2 hours of uncertainty as people generally pass time talking amongst themselves. The J-types start to dominate here in terms of actually forcing a plan through.
The group finally settle on something they can do together, and head off. The ENFP hits their highest point of enthusiasm yet, now that the group is moving with a purpose.
We arrive wherever we decided to go. Typically this goes 1 of 3 ways: the group hangs out and has fun that night. Or the lack of preplanning means a surprise kills the plan at the door (eg whatever activity was proposed needed a booking, or the place is just closed). Or the group hangs out and has fun - until something happens...they realize they are lost, they realize there's no food or some key ingredient is missing and all the shops are closed, or the bill arrives and they realize they have been massively overcharged because the costs weren't checked/understood at the beginning.
The party starts to get tired and people start to go home. The ENFP will almost always propose some kind of afterparty at this point.
And on it goes.
Dunno about other people's experiences, but there are 2 ENFP party planners in my life who habitually do this.
Welcome to my life with my two ENFP's. I will say that a decade + of my influence combined with maturity that comes with age on their part has caused me to be more flexible and them to be more organized. This is all I ask for. And many times I have said no to plans, on principal. See, I'm not dropping my fully scheduled plans of doing absolutely nothing for their plans of doing "something". It was very hard to get them to understand that my "nothing" is "something" for a long time. They do get it now.