[ENFJ] ENFJ: Talk About Yourself!

[Lookin4theBestNU]

Ni followed closely by Fi. Fe was further down the list if I recall correctly.

 

[proteanmix]

I usually don't go by the cognitive processes test because the only thing it measures is how you answer the questions. Cognitive processes that I think I have the most conscious control over are Fe, Se, Ni, Fi.

 

[Usehername]

I usually don't go by the cognitive processes test because the only thing it measures is how you answer the questions. Cognitive processes that I think I have the most conscious control over are Fe, Se, Ni, Fi.

conscious control over Ni? Or conscious awareness?

 

[Littlelostnf]

Ni is my strongest followed by Fi and Ne which are only a tenth of a point from each other and then Fe.

I just thought that was weird and I'm wondering just how much the more developed Fi has to do with getting older...(I'm blaming all sorts of things on it)

Lookin4 stop copying me hehehe

 

[wildcat]

I usually don't go by the cognitive processes test because the only thing it measures is how you answer the questions. Cognitive processes that I think I have the most conscious control over are Fe, Se, Ni, Fi.

What is the prerequisite of a measure?

 

[Lookin4theBestNU]

I just thought that was weird and I'm wondering just how much the more developed Fi has to do with getting older...(I'm blaming all sorts of things on it)

Lookin4 stop copying me hehehe

You want to know what's really weird? When I saw the test results one of my first thoughts was 'hmm it must be because I'm getting older because I'm not an INFJ.' PM has a point though as I may not have rated myself harshly enough though I tried to be as honest as possible. I am pretty sure both T functions came up as average use which is likely untrue.

 

[proteanmix]

conscious control over Ni? Or conscious awareness?

Maybe both? I know when I'm using Fe, Ni, Se, Ti, maybe not so much Fi so I'm taking that one back. I believe I have control over the direction those functions take, maybe not all the time, but I know hot to get to them.

What is the prerequisite of a measure?

When I've asked friends to take the test they say it's so loaded with MBTI jargon that they didn't know how to answer the questions. By the time you actually understand what it's asking you, you know how to take the test so that you get the scores you want. I think it's hard to find good personality tests on the internet.

 

[FemMecha]

where is a link to the cognitive processing test?

In reviewing the thread, it's worth noting for readers in general that you would be hard-pressed to find a truly Ni dominant (INFJ or INTJ) person who is content with snap decisions. Both types are extremely analytical and spend a lot of time re-analyzing their internal system of iNtuition. This is the way in which this function is honed. It isn't magic. It is a cognitive process that creates an internal system based on possibilities and the unseen. It requires depth to be able to reach reasonable hunches. A person who just feels or think they are right because that suits them is neither informed, enlightened, nor are they using Ni. The problem in the worst of such cases is that they aren't using any cognitive functions.

 

[cascadeco]

I've thought about this some more and while I have people I'm comfortable talking about my personal life with, I usually don't get the level of feedback I give to others when I talk about myself. It makes me reluctant to say anything because I try to listen and give solutions to any issues people are having and I want the same in return. I know I'm difficult to talk to if you want me to talk about myself which is why I don't like to do it.

It's not like I don't talk about myself to other people it's that I throw meaty tidbits about myself wrapped in silliness and I wonder if the person will take the bait. Most people don't so I don't continue. I guess want I want is for people to do what I do, think there's something more in what I said and start trying to figure out what it is. I can see how people can think ENFJs are superficial because I try to be a lighthearted person.

I can really relate to this.....I'm always asking questions and listening, and asking more 'probing' type questions (but not in a way that it makes the other person uncomfortable) of others - to really try to get to know them and what's going on inside them. In real life, I don't talk much about myself at all. I suppose I tend to deflect personal questions and turn it back on the other person... hmm...

I'd much rather know about the other person than talk about myself.

I dated an ENFJ for about 8 months - we were like two therapists, hahaha...we were both good at digging deeply into the other persons' emotions, etc, and really being *present* for each other, and *really* listening..and both kinda healed each other. So he was actually one of the few people I've ever encountered who was *extremely* present in the moment, and gave 100% of his focus to me and actively tried to find me, and had the knack to bring me out -- he wouldn't let me do any deflecting. So he got a lot more out of me than most people would. And, based on what he told me at the time, I know I helped him in a similar way.

 

[wolfmaiden14]

I dated an ENFJ for about 8 months - we were like two therapists, hahaha...we were both good at digging deeply into the other persons' emotions, etc, and really being *present* for each other, and *really* listening..and both kinda healed each other. So he was actually one of the few people I've ever encountered who was *extremely* present in the moment, and gave 100% of his focus to me and actively tried to find me, and had the knack to bring me out -- he wouldn't let me do any deflecting. So he got a lot more out of me than most people would. And, based on what he told me at the time, I know I helped him in a similar way.

I knew someone like that! He really had that effect on me, helped me find the "me" I didn't even know about. I got so frustrated when he turned tail and ran before I got the chance to return the favor. I know he has to come into himself on his own time, but damn.. knowing I could help and not being able to really sucks. Especially when I'm still his friend.

 

[Lookin4theBestNU]

In reviewing the thread, it's worth noting for readers in general that you would be hard-pressed to find a truly Ni dominant (INFJ or INTJ) person who is content with snap decisions. Both types are extremely analytical and spend a lot of time re-analyzing their internal system of iNtuition. This is the way in which this function is honed. It isn't magic. It is a cognitive process that creates an internal system based on possibilities and the unseen. It requires depth to be able to reach reasonable hunches. A person who just feels or think they are right because that suits them is neither informed, enlightened, nor are they using Ni. The problem in the worst of such cases is that they aren't using any cognitive functions.

Are you replying or commenting on someones post here or just giving some information? You seem to be attempting to negate something someone else said. In reviewing this thread however I've no idea where any of this applies to the conversation but I could've missed it. Could you please specify?

 

[Usehername]

where is a link to the cognitive processing test?

In reviewing the thread, it's worth noting for readers in general that you would be hard-pressed to find a truly Ni dominant (INFJ or INTJ) person who is content with snap decisions. Both types are extremely analytical and spend a lot of time re-analyzing their internal system of iNtuition. This is the way in which this function is honed. It isn't magic. It is a cognitive process that creates an internal system based on possibilities and the unseen. It requires depth to be able to reach reasonable hunches. A person who just feels or think they are right because that suits them is neither informed, enlightened, nor are they using Ni. The problem in the worst of such cases is that they aren't using any cognitive functions.

My Ni can come up with a Detailed and Fantastic Life Plan in two minutes... but then I was consider my "after-thoughts of figuring out how to make teh scheme plausable" for probably weeks on end. I think I mentioned somewhere else that I daydream 95% of the time. By this i mean I try to flesh out plausible ways to make my Ni dreams possible. And lots of that time is examining the pros/cons/likelihood/other people's likely reactions/etc. I hadn't thought of the examination process as Ni. I always thought the initial crazy plan was Ni and... I don't know what I considered the rest of it as.

 

[FemMecha]

Are you replying or commenting on someones post here or just giving some information? You seem to be attempting to negate something someone else said. In reviewing this thread however I've no idea where any of this applies to the conversation but I could've missed it. Could you please specify?

I wasn't specific because it doesn't apply specifically. There is a tendency in online discussions for examination of Ni to evolve in certain directions. I was mostly just providing information on a "need to know basis" like a footnote. Sometimes statements can be vaguely relevant, if that makes any sense. There is even a remote possibility I got this mixed up with another thread. I have been dog tired lately. I thought something was said about snap judgments - which if using Ni aren't as quick and definite as some people might interpret.

 

[Littlelostnf]

where is a link to the cognitive processing test?

Understanding the Eight Jungian Cognitive Processes / Eight Functions Attitudes

 

[LindseyLadybug]

Here are some random questions for you ENFJs:

How do you read people's eyes? What can you tell about people based on how they look at you? Is it a silent way that someone tells you their life story?

What do you think about people who are introverted, yet wear vivid colors? Does this baffle you, give you insight, etc?

I've had an ENFJ stop after speaking to a group (that I was in) and look at me intently with her head tilted to the side. Another time, she did this and half smiled. Both times I was laughing at a joke she had made (as was the whole group). It was like she was taking a mental note of something...?

What do you think of people who have trouble making friends or seem nervous in social situations (but are nice to people who approach them and try to help when they see someone needs something)?

What traits/characteristics do you respect the most?

What "wins you over"?

What specifically sparks your curiosity?

 

[Domino]

Here are some random questions for you ENFJs:

How do you read people's eyes? What can you tell about people based on how they look at you? Is it a silent way that someone tells you their life story?

I think this may be one of the only good (conscious) uses of Ni. Jaye is always telling me that I can sniff out a liar, that my hackles go up automatically when dealing with someone we can't trust (which of course makes me look difficult and cranky, but I can't help it!). I know when someone's shucking and jiving, and even if I don't catch on immediately, I *will* catch on.

I once met a perfectly nice guy, a friend of a friend, and we hit it off (as friends). I knew there was something amiss with him so I just sat there silently "reading" him. I felt this aura (for lack of a batter word) of violence on him, but not that *he* was violent. I wasn't afraid of him. I finally asked him what it was about, and he broke down, told me everything, said he had no intention of ever telling until I brought it up.

Can others not see the weight of time and violence/sadness in peoples' eyes? It's like old houses - they radiate the energy of the people who'd been there, building up over time.

What do you think about people who are introverted, yet wear vivid colors? Does this baffle you, give you insight, etc?

A lot of introverts are a condensed flame. They shutter their body energy inside themselves until something prompts it to move outward. I think the subtle cues they give off are way more telling than the "announcements" they may make.

I've had an ENFJ stop after speaking to a group (that I was in) and look at me intently with her head tilted to the side. Another time, she did this and half smiled. Both times I was laughing at a joke she had made (as was the whole group). It was like she was taking a mental note of something...?

Sounds like she likes ladybugs!

What do you think of people who have trouble making friends or seem nervous in social situations (but are nice to people who approach them and try to help when they see someone needs something)?

I try to help smooth the way if I can, break the ice. We're all mortified by *something* so having a little hand at a weak point is certainly appreciated. Trouble is, I can be so intense and overpowering sometimes, I think I may frighten some Is. I'm working on that!

What traits/characteristics do you respect the most?

Respect, itself. Showing respect or good breeding, even when you're surrounded by philistines.

What "wins you over"?

What specifically sparks your curiosity?

Shiny objects!

 

[LindseyLadybug]

I felt this aura (for lack of a batter word) of violence on him, but not that *he* was violent. I wasn't afraid of him. I finally asked him what it was about, and he broke down, told me everything, said he had no intention of ever telling until I brought it up.

Do you mean that he had been a victim of/experienced violence and was showing sadness in his eyes as a result?

It's like old houses - they radiate the energy of the people who'd been there, building up over time.

That's an excellent analogy! I never thought of it that way but that's exactly what it's like. You'd be amazed how many people are so oblivious to things like that.

Sounds like she likes ladybugs!

Shiny objects!

LOL You're too funny!

I try to help smooth the way if I can, break the ice. We're all mortified by *something* so having a little hand at a weak point is certainly appreciated. Trouble is, I can be so intense and overpowering sometimes, I think I may frighten some Is. I'm working on that!

Good point. Don't worry, I'm sure they're not frightened once they get used to your style. At least, that's the case with me. Once I know how much intensity to expect from a person (how they operate), I go from to .


I love your answers and would be interested to hear from more ENFJs. This is fascinating!

 

[Nonsensical]

One of my friends is an ENFJ and I don't mean to be kind of negative, at all..but she's always asking me if I alright, and she can be a little nosy at times..and kind of pushy..which I don't mind too much, but sometimes, I feel sort of annoyed, but she's a good soul and I love her all the same.

 

[The Third Rider]

Here are some random questions for you ENFJs:

How do you read people's eyes? What can you tell about people based on how they look at you? Is it a silent way that someone tells you their life story?

The eyes are a powerful thing, you can see into the soul of the other person, but I rather look at their whole body lenguage and facial expresions. You can see how a person feel in their life just by staring at a person's facial expresion when they are not trying to express something. For example I saw my aunt a few years ago and I saw that most of the time she looked sad eventhough she wasn't trying to express any emotions at the time when I was looking at her.

What do you think about people who are introverted, yet wear vivid colors? Does this baffle you, give you insight, etc?

Silly, intorverts.

I've had an ENFJ stop after speaking to a group (that I was in) and look at me intently with her head tilted to the side. Another time, she did this and half smiled. Both times I was laughing at a joke she had made (as was the whole group). It was like she was taking a mental note of something...?

She was probably perplexed as to why you find her corny jokes funny.

What do you think of people who have trouble making friends or seem nervous in social situations (but are nice to people who approach them and try to help when they see someone needs something)?

The hardset thing for most people to do I guess its just "break the ice" but meeting new people to be your friends is really not what is important. I have a lot of acquaintances but I have just a few true friends. Its not how many friends you have that matters but the quality of their friendship to you, I learned that a while ago. Not everyone is worth being your friend and I even had to "drop" some friends, heck I even had to tell that to one of them that we could no longer be friends because of their values. I would say to not worry about actually trying to make friends per say, instead look for someone who is actually worth your friendship, a lot of people will always walk into your life.

What traits/characteristics do you respect the most?

Loyalty, is the single most important trait/characteristic that I look for in any type of relatinship. Than followed by trust, if you are not loyal and I cannot trust you, I am sorry we could never be friends.

What "wins you over"?

This question is too broad, win me over in what sense?

What specifically sparks your curiosity?

When you are telling/showing me somehing I had never seen before and is entertaining or full of knowledge.

I think this may be one of the only good (conscious) uses of Ni. Jaye is always telling me that I can sniff out a liar, that my hackles go up automatically when dealing with someone we can't trust (which of course makes me look difficult and cranky, but I can't help it!). I know when someone's shucking and jiving, and even if I don't catch on immediately, I *will* catch on.

I once met a perfectly nice guy, a friend of a friend, and we hit it off (as friends). I knew there was something amiss with him so I just sat there silently "reading" him. I felt this aura (for lack of a batter word) of violence on him, but not that *he* was violent. I wasn't afraid of him. I finally asked him what it was about, and he broke down, told me everything, said he had no intention of ever telling until I brought it up.

Can others not see the weight of time and violence/sadness in peoples' eyes? It's like old houses - they radiate the energy of the people who'd been there, building up over time.

I find myself reading other person's body lenguage to see what is up with them. Women are also 6 times better at reading body lenguage than men are so that is a clear advantege you have as well.

I love your answers and would be interested to hear from more ENFJs. This is fascinating!

Look someone actually finds us fascinating. I feel like such a guinea pig.

 

[LindseyLadybug]

You can see how a person feel in their life just by staring at a person's facial expresion when they are not trying to express something.

So true!

Silly, intorverts.

Yep, we are quite silly...and we like it that way (at least I do)!

She was probably perplexed as to why you find her corny jokes funny.

What can I say? I am easily amused...*pops bubblewrap*

This question is too broad, win me over in what sense?

If you don't know a person very well and aren't sure what your opinion is of them yet, what is something they could do/say that would almost instantly make you think positively of or love them? Or if you are still keeping your guard up around someone, what is something they could do/say to automatically cause you to let your guard down?

Look someone actually finds us fascinating. I feel like such a guinea pig.

You are indeed a guinea pig...*plots evil things* Muahahahahaha!