[ESFJ] Ask an ESFJ too!

[Jeffster]

In an effort to clear up all the huge misconceptions people have about us reliable, friendly, and super-terrific ESFJs, I start this thread so you may ask all your stupid questions and get solid, straightforward answers that are morally right and make complete sense.

So, ask away!

 

[PeaceBaby]

jeffster, you're taking your avatar too literally me thinks ...

 

[Jeffster]

jeffster, you're taking your avatar too literally me thinks ...

That's not a question.

 

[Tamske]

Hooray! Hooray!
I'm still thinking every type should have a question-answering thread...

What's the biggest difference between an ESFJ and an ESTJ?
What's the best way to make an ESFJ feel appreciated and loved?

 

[PeaceBaby]

That's not a question.

I can't read any response you make without a Groucho-esque inflection now.

OK, here's your question:

Why are you impersonating an ESFJ?

Edit: I know either you or the mods would have changed your type for 1 Apr, but why the continued charade?

(ps sorry if I am spoiling your fun)

 

[pure_mercury]

<-------- Real ESFJ (probably)

 

[miss fortune]

then, real ESFJ, I have a question...

... most of the real ESFJs I have as close friends end conversations with "Love ya!" or similar sentiments of love... I've never even said that to my own sister! What is the proper response for a cold hearted ESTP bastard in such a situation? (ok... one who values the friendship and wants to KEEP the ESFJ friend!)

 

[Little Linguist]

Well I'm not an ESFJ but I have an ESFJ grandmother, and I find the best solution is to just humor her and tell her what she wants to hear so that she stfu. I know that sounds really mean, but damn it.

Her traditional way of saying good-bye is, "God bless you." And she doesn't effing let up until you say something of the kind back. "You, too," doesn't count, by the way. You have to say, "God bless you, too." I guess that's going to get me into heaven or something?!?!?! Well, anyway....

Same deal. If the ESFJ says, "Love you," then you will have to give some kind of positive affirmation, like, "You, too - take care!" or "You, too, you're such a great friend, and thanks for the chat," or some shit. Just grit your teeth and bear it. It's better for you, for her, and for everyone else, too.

 

[miss fortune]

hmmm... so the solution is to just give in... well, they'd better be prepared to compromise with me on another facet of life then (like making me UNsweetened iced tea!)

 

[Jeffster]

Hooray! Hooray!
I'm still thinking every type should have a question-answering thread...

What's the biggest difference between an ESFJ and an ESTJ?
What's the best way to make an ESFJ feel appreciated and loved?

The biggest difference I've observed is the ESFJ seems more sympathetic in general. ESTJs can have less understanding for circumstances because they seem to have such an attitude of "if I can do it, anybody can!" about stuff. Usually because they are such hard workers, they don't understand how anybody could not share their work ethic.

It seems like ESFJs will consider any number of factors and have a little more sympathy about a situation.

 

[Little Linguist]

Waaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiit a damn minute. Jeffy? Dear? You....are....an....ESFJ??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

 

[Jeffster]

OK, here's your question:

Why are you impersonating an ESFJ?

1) Maybe ESFJ is my "true type."

2) No other ESFJ is stepping up to the plate.

Case in point:

<-------- Real ESFJ (probably)

He pops in to say that but I bet he won't stick around to actually answer questions.

3) It's fun

4) I'm bored


Some combination of the above.

Edit: I know either you or the mods would have changed your type for 1 Apr, but why the continued charade?

Nobody changed my type for "1 Apr" so I don't know what you're talking about.

(ps sorry if I am spoiling your fun)

I highly doubt you could spoil my fun!

 

[Little Linguist]

Jeffy, if you're bored, we could have a water gun fight!!!!!

 

[EJCC]

What's the biggest difference between an ESFJ and an ESTJ?

This is the biggest difference I've noticed between my ESFJ friends and me:

When you talk to a (nice) ESFJ for the first time, they open right up and are friendly and welcome you into their group with open arms. It's as if you've been friends for years. If you open up to them in that first meeting, they react very kindly and appropriately.

When you talk to an ESTJ for the first time, they're not as open with you. They might talk about more shallow things. They might not try very hard to keep a conversation going if it isn't working out. In other words, no matter how friendly they are, you can tell that they're keeping their distance from you (emotionally speaking, anyways). If you open up to them on that first meeting, they get bewildered (even if they don't show it), and might react a bit too coldly.

But that might not be true in all cases.

 

[Jeffster]

Waaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiit a damn minute. Jeffy? Dear? You....are....an....ESFJ??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Hey, you changed your type, what, fifteen times? I'm allowed one at least!

Jeffy, if you're bored, we could have a water gun fight!!!!!

Sounds good. Wear your tightest white t-shirt.

This is the biggest difference I've noticed between my ESFJ friends and me:

When you chat up a (nice) ESFJ for the first time, they open right up and are friendly and welcome you into their group with open arms. It's as if you've been friends for years. If you open up to them in that first meeting, they react very kindly and appropriately.

When you chat up an ESTJ for the first time, they're not as open with you. They might talk about more shallow things. They might not try very hard to keep a conversation going if it isn't working out. In other words, no matter how friendly they are, you can tell that they're keeping their distance from you (emotionally speaking, anyways). If you open up to them on that first meeting, they get a little bewildered (even if they don't show it), and might react a bit too coldly.

But that might not be true in all cases.

Another difference is that ESTJs use phrases like "chat up." If you ever hear me say "chat up" please shoot me.

 

[pure_mercury]

I would answer questions. ESFJ males are rare it seems. Well, rare on here, anyway.

 

[EJCC]

Another difference is that ESTJs use phrases like "chat up." If you ever hear me say "chat up" please shoot me.

Thanks. Forget what I said about ESFJs being welcoming. (And yes, I know you aren't really an ESFJ.)

 

[Jeffster]

I would answer questions. ESFJ males are rare it seems. Well, rare on here, anyway.

Yep. It's a perspective not heard on here nearly enough. I'm glad if you will share more.

Thanks. Forget what I said about ESFJs being welcoming. (And yes, I know you aren't really an ESFJ.)

Lighten up, Francis.

 

[pure_mercury]

then, real ESFJ, I have a question...

... most of the real ESFJs I have as close friends end conversations with "Love ya!" or similar sentiments of love... I've never even said that to my own sister! What is the proper response for a cold hearted ESTP bastard in such a situation? (ok... one who values the friendship and wants to KEEP the ESFJ friend!)

"Right back atcha!"

 

[OrangeAppled]

I would answer questions. ESFJ males are rare it seems. Well, rare on here, anyway.

How would you contrast yourself with a female ESFJ and a male ESTJ?