I figure some kind of NP but not INFP.
ETA: I forgot. Enneagram 9 throws me off, so INFP is possible.
Yeah enneagram 9...
For all of it's benefits, it sure does place generalization way too far above distinction. It is easy for me to chunk out reasons for certain things, but that means that it is just equally as easy for me to find reasons against. A constant circle, one thing building up, only for the compostite to tear ismtself down. 'But' is enneagram 9's favorite word.
I used to be extremely creative, when I was younger my creativity and 'passion' got me through pretty much anything. But I was attracted to what others viewed as odd. Instead of doing a project on chocolate bars, or rollercoasters, I would do a project on the holocaust or schizophrenia. Others-namely my parents-would worry about me, whether it was effecting me, whether I was depressed, bbut that was never the case. I was just attracted to those sorts of topics-the ones that I just could not really, completely, truly understand.
Lately that creative energy... Has just become more and more challenging to grasp-it just feels as if it is slipping away from me. I am not who I used to be, not sure if it, again, is a situational thing, a chemical processing thing, or what-but the way that I have lost any and all drive to really 'get' anything is depressing to me.
But anyways, onto Fi. Honestly, I really shied away from the idea of Fi for a while. It seemed weak, and the users I saw on here, well some of them just seemed endlessly whiny. It was like the baby version of Ti to me, the we have to watch what we do around Fi so that this person doesn't have some sort of emotionally value based implosion.
But I suppose it is just an attitude beyond control, a natural inclination-a drive towards a natural inclination- that is not broadbrushed person to person. And the thing is, is that I can feel something when I type all of this stuff-something that really hesitates from wanting me to share. That may or may not be Fi, it may just be some sortof emotional discomfort from not knowing whether or not what I am even saying about myself is true, or about Fi on the whole, but it's there.
I really am not sure if I like type me threads, I don't really know what to say about 'myself' and everything that I do say just feels as if it is me spinning something off of a stereotype.
I saw Ne in you but at the same time, you seemed to give off a different vibe from other Ne dom/aux on this forum. You don't Ti as much as xNTPs, and you also don't Fi as much as xNFPs.
How about ISTJ as your type?
I do believe I come off very similarly to [MENTION=6554]DisneyGeek[/MENTION], so yes this could be a possibility.
I read somewhere that ISxJ's at around this point in development do tend to stretch their Ne and that for a while their inferior function seems to almost undermine their auxilerary.
I am not sure if it has to do with the demands of the age, as a means of 'fitting in' still with the crowd around them, a crowd that tends to be less singularly focused as people tend to be later, or if it is just a natural biological process used to discover and 'explore' both themselves and the world to gain more for their Si.
But yes, ISTJ and ISFJ are both possibilities. Generally I see myself as sort of... Distant. People who know me swear that I have no emotions,(though this could come from associating with strong feelers... Shudder), and I have had 'personal talks'(why oh why the need is found to do so I gave no idea... They think they are doing me some sort of personal favor, pointing out that I need to be friendlier-no sir I do not, and if I did then it is just absolutely none of your business. I never see any of these 'talks' being given to guys... Only me out of some hope that maybe if 'be nice' 'be nice' 'be nice' 'be efffusive' 'give her a hug' 'just fake it, what is so hard about faking it for 5 minutes' 'don't be rude, apologize for being rude, just suck it up' is forced down my throat long enough maybe I will just magically transform into Betty Crocker or something.
But anyways, yes, ISFJ and ISTJ are both on the table. The thing is, is that I just have an extreme difficulty with being externally consistant that I would think would just naturally push the probability of being a high Je nearly out the window. I do not do things in an orderly fashion as I just find it nearly impossible to do so. I do not care enough about most things to really have the energy to follow through with them, and most things that I do, that I learn, just seem to shallow for me to want to develop any sort of interest in them. It has always been irritating to me, to know that 'I can' do something-and probably better than most of my peers, but to have to rely upon interest and some sort of magical blow from the God's to be able to really absorb any material. I guess I just sort of feel sometimes that my actions, desires, and the like are just sort of out of my control.
But when I do get a burst... It is really just a phenomenal relief. But is is like some sort of shy animal, you are happy that it is there because it isn't going to bite and because it is so soft and malleable you can manipulate it to do whatever you like... But you are afraid that if you force something to fast it will just scurry the hell away out of fear or because it is overwhelmed. But am I happy that it is there. It is like a rush and it just makes me feel so powerful, like I can grab the reins. Everything is just so clear and focused, and everything that I do, every knowledge base that I have just builds upon itself higher and higher until I just have this thorough understanding. It is like a high for me. Just a storm where I can get everything done, and then go back to avoiding doing anything.
The sad part about it is, is that I am generally just awful at explaining things. Anything simple or not, I just cannot seem to do it any justice. I'll stutter and talk around my words, and it is just generally so frusterating-because I know. I know but, I cannot show it, and then everyone thinks that I am dumb or something.
ISFJ. I don't know about this one. I would believe that I show a decent amount of a nurturing Fe around those who I amclose to, particularly to younger relatives, but Fe on the whole... Maybe. But my type of socialization seems just a bit too disporortionate and selective for me to really put a large amount of stock in high Fe. While I do care about people in general being happy and in a state of general wellbeing, I personally have no desire to really contribute to them getting that way. This might come from just a mere reluctance to get involved, a hesitance to influence something for another person, shear leaziness, or just something else. But what I do know is that generally I do care far more than I am willing to let on, and actually sometimes I wish that I could care just a little bit less. So I pretend that I do care less, and then blissful suppression ensues.
So yeah I am not sure that that tells you anything besides the fact that ISXJ is a decent consideration.