[SP] An SP in a house full of Ns.

[rhinosaur]

Hey there, Miller. Did you know that babies come from cabbages? It's true. Global warming? Not happening. Also, my inferior Ti is really awesome and I use it a lot. I could probably defeat a chess grandmaster if I wanted to. We don't need math. All we need is LOVE. And I'm always right because I *feel* that way.

How am I doing?

That kind of shit would just make me give you a blank stare. You might get a "uh huh" and a roll of the eyes.

I suggest bringing up something like "Hey, let's go snowboarding," or "How awesome would it be if there were an earthquake RIGHT NOW?"

 

[rhinosaur]

It feels like your goal is to avoid conflict in the house, rather than forming a deep connection with this guy. That's probably best, at least to start. If you have things in common, friendship will happen naturally. otherwise, well, most of the istps I've known have a pretty easy time being polite to people we don't particularly like or dislike, as long as we aren't forced into a corner. most people aren't looking to cause trouble, I think.

Hahaha "Don't tread on me" syndrome

 

[Udog]

As an ENFP, though I can be too exuberant and overbearing. I really want to make friends with this ISTP but I'm worried that he thinks I'm flaky and stupid. Everyone in this house is a sci-fi/comic book nerd and he has shown nothing but disdain for our interests and our goals. I have no idea how to show him that we are competent, good natured people. He cuts short every conversation I have with him and frequently criticises me and the other roomates about our life choices.

What is the best way to make my new ISTP roomate comfortable? How do I befriend him without scaring him off with my NF excitement? I've never actually had any S type friends so I really don't know how to relate to him.

Unless you are taking personal offense where the ISTP means none (which is possible), he sounds like a real asshole and not particularly healthy ISTP. I guess if I were you I would try and find out if he is intentionally being an ass, or just coming off as one.

The only way I've ever been able to relate to ISTPs (as an NF) is through common interests. We build a bond talking about or building things, doing things together, and so on and once we reach a certain level they'll tolerate and listen to my NF stuff. The fact that he seems to pretty much hold all of your interests in disdain does not bode well.

Also, is this the ISTP whose ENTJ girlfriend is just using him for connections that he has?

"How awesome would it be if there were an earthquake RIGHT NOW?"

That reminds me of how my ISTP friend gets seriously excited whenever we are about to get hit by a hurricane, but even the threat of a minor snow storm puts him in a sour mood.

 

[lorkan]

That kind of shit would just make me give you a blank stare. You might get a "uh huh" and a roll of the eyes.

I suggest bringing up something like "Hey, let's go snowboarding," or "How awesome would it be if there were an earthquake RIGHT NOW?"

Just complete random comments excites them. As an entp in this thread already said, just be completely random around him, dont be that thoughtfull at all because he will probably see through that.

 

[Poki]

The biggest thing is accept us for who we are and we will accept you for who you are. If he doesnt accept you, he probably doesnt feel accepted for who he is. Find out his strengths, and have him help you. Be thankful, but not showy like others said. We are very uncomfortable if we feel like we need to show emotion. I know its stupid, but this is how we are and we want to be accepted for who we are. It causes anxiety like theres no tomorrow. If you want to make a show and cant contain yourself, keep the focus off of him. For me a thanks and maybe a hug(from a female) works wonders or just a thanks from a guy, but dont expect a response other than maybe a smile and a your welcome.

We live to feel appreciated, we will go above and beyond expectations and never ask for anything in return other than to feel appreciated. Just a warning, when we dont feel appreciated we will hold everything we have done in your face, its not to say that we wish we didnt do it, or that we dont want to do it, or that we are trying to get something in return for what we have done, it is us just saying "I have gone above and beyond for you, please appreciate what I do"

The biggest advice I can give you is we want to feel appreciated and dont make us feel like we need to show emotions.

 

[rhinosaur]

The biggest thing is accept us for who we are and we will accept you for who you are.

Oh, I like that.

 

[Domino]

That kind of shit would just make me give you a blank stare. You might get a "uh huh" and a roll of the eyes.

It's called a "joke", Rhino.

Besides, how could you uh-huh-roll your eyes when Miller is killing himself and me at the same time? That's entertainment, baby.

 

[digesthisickness]

It's called a "joke", Rhino.

Besides, how could you uh-huh-roll your eyes when Miller is killing himself and me at the same time? That's entertainment, baby.

huh. i took that to mean that he knew it was a joke, but didn't think it was funny.

 

[Domino]

huh. i took that to mean that he knew it was a joke, but didn't think it was funny.

Are you trying to turn me on? Because it's working.

 

[digesthisickness]

Are you trying to turn me on? Because it's working.

if it's working then my answer is yes.

 

[Domino]

if it's working then my answer is yes.

So it wouldn't be anymore awkward than usual with me rubbing on you like a cat? Shampanyuh?!

 

[Dali]

He probably knows you've never particularly liked him, and if he does, he's likely to distrust your sudden change of heart - at least, that's how I am.

If you want to make him comfortable, I would suggest...being normal. not trying too hard to be best friends, if you want him to feel welcome just invite him to join you in things, or to play video games or something. even if he doesn't want to, he'll probably appreciate the gesture.

It feels like your goal is to avoid conflict in the house, rather than forming a deep connection with this guy. That's probably best, at least to start. If you have things in common, friendship will happen naturally. otherwise, well, most of the istps I've known have a pretty easy time being polite to people we don't particularly like or dislike, as long as we aren't forced into a corner. most people aren't looking to cause trouble, I think.

+1


Some of the other responses on here are either patronising or smack of uber-kissassery.

 

[ptgatsby]

+1


Some of the other responses on here are either patronising or smack of uber-kissassery.

I 2nd that (and Randomnity's post.)

I also suggest getting to know him, rather than basing actions on his type.

 

[Brouhaha]

He cuts short every conversation I have with him and frequently criticises me and the other roomates about our life choices.

ISTPs, how do you make friends? Am I maybe misinterpreting his actions as judgemental or standoffish when he really has other intentions?

Now I'm very new to this "type" nonsense, but since I'm the same as this guy, let me see if I can understand him.

The thing is, I can't imagine him actually having something against you. From my experience with ISTPs, mostly myself but I've seen it on this forum too, we don't really hold grudges. It's a pain in the ass to maintain poor relations. It's usually just easier to avoid conflict with people we don't like by being polite and ignoring them. Chances are he's being rude because it entertains him, I've done that before. Maybe if you just ignore him he'll stop.

How do you mean cutting off conversations? I mean with my poor communication skills I'm not very good at maintaining conversations; I often give one word answers and the conversation dies right there. Maybe he's just no good at communicating. Oh, and I criticize my friends all the time, usually about smoking or excessive drinking though.

Although that was a rambling description of what I'm like, I hope I might have given insights into this guy. Who knows?

 

[Tiny Army]

Hmmm, he does think I smoke too much. I've been theorising that maybe he has begun to realise how deeply I dislike his girlfriend. Though, hilariously, he seems to be on my side about this. But it makes conversations uncomfortable because the major thing we have in common is her and neither of us like her very much anymore. I have asked him about his interests and they appear to stop at bodybuilding and World of Warcraft. I tried to understand the WoW thing because I play D and D but he thinks all D and D players are incredibly lame and should upgrade to WoW. Then the conversation is over.

I have come to really appreciate the way the ISTP mind works. Straight up, ISTPs, you share an MBTI type with the goddamn Batman. If we get invaded by aliens I would have absolute and complete faith in an ISTP to save us all.

 

[rhinosaur]

Hahaha yes, if you think about it, Batman -slash- Bruce Wayne does fit many of the ISTP stereotypes. Although I doubt Batman could save us from aliens.

Regarding D&D versus WoW, you both should try playing Neverwinter Nights. It's a MMO video game based on AD&D, and quite addictive.

Regarding your problem, I think he simply hasn't warmed up yet. Give him a little time. Either he'll become an integrated and valued member of your group, or he'll move out and you'll never hear from him again. Just be yourself, let him be himself, and I think the former will be more likely than the latter.

 

[Brouhaha]

Regarding D&D versus WoW, you both should try playing Neverwinter Nights. It's a MMO video game based on AD&D, and quite addictive.

No you. Two of my friends were addicted to Neverwinter Nights, not very healthy.

WoW on the other hand is a very healthy life choice. As long as you maintain a life outside of it.

 

[Unique]

No you. Two of my friends were addicted to Neverwinter Nights, not very healthy.

WoW on the other hand is a very healthy life choice. As long as you maintain a life outside of it.

but they are all pretty addicting right

 

[Brouhaha]

but they are all pretty addicting right

Oh, don't even get me started. To be honest most MMOs are alright. The only bad one is EVE. Pretty much you're paying a monthly fee to have a second job.

 

[MissMurder]

It's called a "joke", Rhino.

Besides, how could you uh-huh-roll your eyes when Miller is killing himself and me at the same time?

How could someone not uh-huh-roll their eyes at that kind of spectacle?

ISTPs usually have a selection of friends who share their love of particular hobbies and pasttimes. They might have a friend who they ski with, and another who they shoot pool with, etc. They generally have no interest or patience with individuals who do not share their interests, and will spend little or no time with them. They have a difficult time understanding people with extremely strong iNtuitive preferences, and are not likely to spend time with these individuals unless they share a common interest or hobby. They enjoy spending time with Extraverts, whose enthusiastic, talkative natures are attractive to the more reserved ISTP, but they will eventually tire of their "bubbliness". The ISTP is able to get along well with people of any personality type, but is likely to value and bond only those with whom they have common interests.

According to the above, the lack of common interests is probably the entire issue. Although, if you asked him, he wouldn't even classify it as an issue at all, lol! Simply a fact.

Hmmm, he does think I smoke too much. I've been theorising that maybe he has begun to realise how deeply I dislike his girlfriend. Though, hilariously, he seems to be on my side about this. But it makes conversations uncomfortable because the major thing we have in common is her and neither of us like her very much anymore. I have asked him about his interests and they appear to stop at bodybuilding and World of Warcraft. I tried to understand the WoW thing because I play D and D but he thinks all D and D players are incredibly lame and should upgrade to WoW. Then the conversation is over.

He's troubleshooting you. How interesting. He's probably fairly neutral towards you if he's even bothering. He might even find you fairly tolerable, for a bubbly Extrovert.

Regarding D&D versus WoW, you both should try playing Neverwinter Nights. It's a MMO video game based on AD&D, and quite addictive.

*giggles* Again with the troubleshooting.