OK, on the zeroing in part: I'm leaning toward using Ni as my auxiliary function. This could account for the daydreams, the "zoning out," and would soften the J traits a bit (hence why I have noticeable P attributes. There's nothing mystical about me - no ESP or anything, and also nothing particularly mastermind-y (I suck at chess and don't relate to the "intellectual arrogance" stereotype), so I'm guessing the Ni is not a dominant function. So that leaves me with enfj or entj. I am pretty introverted though, so the E is based mainly on cognitive function stacking and process of elimination.
Case for ENFJ:
-I relate slightly more to the idealist temperament than the rationalist temperament. Slightly.
-Throughout my life, I've had the tendency to have some kind of dream for the future and then to talk it up to people I'm close to, sort of enlisting them in the mission. The "mission" would not necessarily be humanitarian or strategic. An example would be that I had lived in the city but had sort of romanticized raising a family on a farm. I had no real-world concept of farm life, just a picture in my head of how it could be. I talked it up with my husband and he bought into the same dream. We now live on a farm and are expecting our 2nd child. This is one example of many that I could list. Probably more enfj than entj, but it isn't really "humanitarian" and it isn't really about empathy...
-I enjoy bringing others around to my views/opinions. I have strong (and often quirky) views about things, and I enjoy discussing them. I feel gratified when the other person starts to come around to my way of seeing things. That said, I also enjoy discussing them with people who totally disagree and even if they never get on board, I still find the exchange of ideas stimulating.
-I generally want to fit in and be liked. When I'm in a group setting, I'm much more comfortable joking around to make people feel comfortable, and frankly, to make people like me. Much less comfortable dealing with strong emotions that require an emotional response from me. I'm not much of a hugger - literally or figuratively.
-I soft-pedal criticism when I'm not comfortable in a situation. If I meet someone and don't like them, I will generally still be nice and encouraging, but then I will likely tell someone I'm close to later what I didn't like about the person. I used to make hiring decisions at work and was often told that the nicer I was in an interview the less likely it was for me to hire the person. If I was more comfortable and liked the person, I didn't feel the same drive to "act like" I liked them. I could be myself a bit more.
-I don't have the same follow-through or organizational skills that Te should provide.
-I am religious (although, this really could be used as an argument for either or just seen as irrelevant). I'm in the process of converting to Catholicism. No one in my family is Catholic, but I appreciate the emphasis on practice and discipline in Catholicism. Had a hard time relating to the more experiential faith of Protestantism. I've never had what I would consider a personal religious experience.
-Have gravitated toward Feeler subjects in school and career choices. Mostly politics and public relations and communications. Also have nerdy interest in demography and statistics. I have really enjoyed putting together video projects and editing in past jobs. Especially collaboratively.
-I come to decisions about people very quickly and easily.
-I'm not really good with money.
Case for ENTJ:
-Very much of an independent thinker. I am very hard to influence.
-High critical thinking skills
-I feel like I can "be myself" when I can express my opinions freely.
-I almost always score T on tests, and on the cognitive functions test, my Fe is very low. Te is very high.
-I don't mean this in a dark or even a deep way, but I tend not to see the best in people. I'm very skeptical and quite critical. I find that I have very high standards and few people meet them (enneagram 1). I'm the same way with events or movies or anything else.
-I don't usually take on the burdens of others as my own. I don't mind helping someone solve a problem; it can be a nice challenge and its good to help. But with the exception of maybe 1 or 2 people I'm very close to, I won't feel emotionally burdened by their problems.
-This is more of a doubt for enfj than a plus for entj, but I HATE networking with a passion and I don't like phony people. I'm lousy at most (formal) social graces (I already mentioned thank-you notes and correspondences.) I will often dodge phone calls or not call someone back. I much prefer organic connections to social niceties.
-I am decisive and kind of closed-minded - at least externally (guess this could be Te or Fe).
So, enfj or entj seem more likely?