Kangirl
I'm a star.
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 1,470
- MBTI Type
- ENTJ
So. Was having a long convo with an INFP friend today. INFP friend works in the film industry, directing, at this point, children in the 8-12 age range. We were discussing a new child who my friend is having great difficulty directing/getting through to. Friend likes to give 'homework' to these kids - open-ended stuff like "come up with 3 different ways to play X scene - how else could Y react" etc. This kid is unable to do this and apparently just freezes up when asked.
I said this somewhat reminded me of me when I was little (and now, to an extent). I appreciate and crave directness. I would also have had trouble with "hmmm, come up with 3 other random options" - in the sense that I would have reacted much better to a specific request "this time, let's play X as angry" etc. I could have *done* the former, but it would have pissed me off a little and made me wonder what the person assigning the task really wanted from me (apparently this kid appears very eager to get 'the right' answer, as well).
Friend then told me he wondered what had happened to the kid to make him this way, and then what had happened to me to make me how I am. My back went ever so slightly up. I asked "do you think there's something wrong/pathological in the behaviour"? The answer was yes. Definite yes.
I'm just surprised I got this from an INFP. Imo my friend is reacting partly out of ego - he is normally extremely good with kids, and with working with kids in this context, and this one has thrown him for a loop.
Thoughts? Is it pathological to have an extreme preference for direct instructions rather than more open-ended thought-assignments? I.e. Do I need to go see a shrink cuz I'm an ENTJ?
EDIT:
Just wanted to add, my own reaction to this is based mostly on efficiency. Open ended things like this frustrate me because I think "you obviously want something from me, want me to learn something or think something etc., so why not just ask me specifically instead of wasting all this time and energy trying to coax it out of me? JUST FRICKEN TELL/ASK ME! Just wanted to explain my reaction. Also wanted to say that yes, I realize there is value in the open ended approach. Definitely. It just sometimes makes me antsy.
I said this somewhat reminded me of me when I was little (and now, to an extent). I appreciate and crave directness. I would also have had trouble with "hmmm, come up with 3 other random options" - in the sense that I would have reacted much better to a specific request "this time, let's play X as angry" etc. I could have *done* the former, but it would have pissed me off a little and made me wonder what the person assigning the task really wanted from me (apparently this kid appears very eager to get 'the right' answer, as well).
Friend then told me he wondered what had happened to the kid to make him this way, and then what had happened to me to make me how I am. My back went ever so slightly up. I asked "do you think there's something wrong/pathological in the behaviour"? The answer was yes. Definite yes.
I'm just surprised I got this from an INFP. Imo my friend is reacting partly out of ego - he is normally extremely good with kids, and with working with kids in this context, and this one has thrown him for a loop.
Thoughts? Is it pathological to have an extreme preference for direct instructions rather than more open-ended thought-assignments? I.e. Do I need to go see a shrink cuz I'm an ENTJ?
EDIT:
Just wanted to add, my own reaction to this is based mostly on efficiency. Open ended things like this frustrate me because I think "you obviously want something from me, want me to learn something or think something etc., so why not just ask me specifically instead of wasting all this time and energy trying to coax it out of me? JUST FRICKEN TELL/ASK ME! Just wanted to explain my reaction. Also wanted to say that yes, I realize there is value in the open ended approach. Definitely. It just sometimes makes me antsy.