So this has been on my mind ever since the meetup with [MENTION=19948]Showbread[/MENTION] [MENTION=23115]BadOctopus[/MENTION] and [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION] several weeks ago, and I want to talk it out.
I am not calling my type into question. I know I am ENFJ, and I also know I am 1w2. The former though is somewhat odd to me. I know I am ENFJ because I definitely work foremost with Fe in my mind, and I supplement it with fairly equal parts Ni and Se (though I did not begin using the latter "right" until this past fall). Though it doesn't always come across that way.
I don't look like an ENFJ, and I want to understand why.
Note, I am only pointing out the external differences that most fly counter to what ENFJ usually is: On the surface, I appear like a Te dom, in some situations I sometimes look like an Se dom (though that's uncommon), but I don't really look like an Fe dom, and I am comparing myself to many other Fe doms that I know. There's four of us ENFJ's in my core friend group, and while all of us are very similar and can be "lumped together" there are areas where I am fundementally different with how I externally operate, and I don't know any other ENFJ's that share this. On issues, I actually quite often see eye to eye much more easily with several of my ISTJ friends. First and foremost, I am blunt and straightforward, and I can willingly turn my empathy on and off for many situations. I don't know any other Fe doms that can, or are even willing to do this. For example, if someone around me fucks up and does something wrong, and doesn't care, even if I know them well I will subject them to what the situation deserves, and will very unlikely feel sorry for them.
I'm also very apt to use "precedent" for solving situations and making judgement calls. My ENFJ friends (and as far as I can tell) most other ENFJ's don't really use that, and it's not their first line to do so. The reason I do so is it's less likely to make error to base something off a known. It's not actually my MO per-say, it's a learned skill. Nevertheless, much like I've learned how to socialize, it's become so ingrained in me that I automatically do it without consciously deciding to do so.
I don't want to be friends with the world, I want to be friends with people who are worthy. That sounds elitist (and it likely is), but I don't know how to word it otherwise (maybe people I can communicate well with?). Many ENFJ's I know (if not all?) want to be friends with nearly everyone they encounter, want to lift everyone up, and want everyone to be on the same level field. I definitely don't. Many even go out of their way to befriend people who are "broken" or something for the soul reason of feeling "they deserve a friend" or "I can fix that". I do not feel that is my responsibility at all, and I only do that unless there is reason to do so. It's not my MO at all. I associate with people where there is a mutual gain between both parties. Most ENFJ's actively seek the things I go against when it comes to people.
I can be very driving, very blunt/forceful, and have no issues imposing my will on other people. It doesn't need to be fueled by emotion or subjectivity either. In fact, I am far more comfortable with it when I have a solid external reason, authority, or solid item I can reference in an unambiguous manner. That way if people challenge it, it can't really be debated or pushed back against using a loophole or some bullshit technicality. Most ENFJ's are fairly forward, but aren't directly blunt or actively driving of others. In particular in an unambiguous manner. They tend to do much better when it is based off ambiguity.
Those are the big ones, I am sure others will come up/come out as the discussion ensues. Still, it's very puzzling to me why have so many atributes that go against what ENFJ's typically are. I know it happens occasionally, but that doesn't make it seem any less bizarre, or potentially invalidating. There's a reason Fe is associated with friendliness and inclusiveness. Just as Ni is associated with going with your gut and not needing a historical backing. I go opposite of those stereotypes. It's just the frequency and level that I go against them is high enough that it almost doesn't fit, despite thinking through those functions.
Thoughts? Questions? Discuss.