As the others have mentioned, I seek to be in control over my own life. It is way to protect myself emotionally. I can be extremely independent as a result.
Keep in mind though that TeSi = a baby ESTJ in our basement. It serves as the "Middle manager of Fi" around us. At the worst we do the stupid things ESTJs do at age ten that piss everyone off.
Very unhealthy, under stress ENFP control behaviors:
I have been watching several older ENFPs in the workplace and when placed under moderate to severe stress, they can quickly revert to being extremely direct or make snap judgments about logistical (ie control) issues to minimize uncertainty, as uncertainty equates to change and change in the past is typically painful via an FiSi loop.
As an example, I work with an ENFP who is in a Manufacturing area. She is under stress and has attached Fi values to the way she does her job. It must be done a certain way, not just because it is the correct or logical way....but because it is the RIGHT way via Fi and responds with very controlling actions as a result
Another ENFP I work with was going to refrain from releasing a software patch as "I dont trust our software group". I dont trust our software group either, but that doesnt mean the software patch should be held in check. I explained what an FiSi loop was to her, and that she was clinging tightly to the status quo in order to prevent change, as change can be so very painful in our workplace. Things had been changing too fast with too much pain on other groups and as a result she was in survival mode. She chilled out and released the patch for better or worse.
Another ENFP-is actually an ENFP with fairly weak Te. She appears very soft at first and affirming. However when placed under stress she has become exceedingly controlling of her subordinates who threaten her position. She has fired two people who were more skilled than her and snapped on an ENFP man about when and how he scheduled his trips-after giving him permission two weeks before to schedule trips. Again, a fear of change under stress, leading to trying to control others to protect herself.
These are all fairly unhealthy examples under large amounts of stress. When in healthy places, I have seen several ENFP COOs who were very good. We have a knack for Operations and Marketing, as Te gives us some structure, but Ne gives us flexibility. The Fi allows us to understand the innate people factors of organizational dynamics. Combined we can grok complex systems and identofy problem areas from a very high level, even if we dont understand the Ti details of a system.
More Moderate in the moment stress:
It can be hard to pay attention to details around us. I find I can get a bit snappy if pulled into Se land when I am trying hard to focus on something. This looks like snappy behavior, our even cranky controlling behavior. I must admit my kids can be the worst about this.
Because it is so hard to organize, if others around us mess with something we have organized-again we can be a bit cranky.
Never back an enfp into an emotional corner. If they are overly emotive and you keep pressing you risk a bitchslap.
COMMUNICATION: !!!!!!!!!!
This is a tricky one. Since you are Ti/Fe, many things she does will be either bizarre or offensive, not due to her or you being wrong/right or her seeking to control, but due to linguistic diffs in how you communicate knowledge and emotions, and how you might seek to help others around you.
She will offend your Ti due to the abrupt, pointed, absolute Te way she states things. "This IS That." Then when given new data, she will change her mind, yet be absolutely right again. Then when given more new data, well, look she is right again. The other Te users do this too, but since the ENFP is always perceiving via Ne , the models are constantly being updated-thus we are really quick about it changing the data-yet always sound like we are RIGHT. My ENTP wants to kill enfps over this one. She says it is hideously offensive, as , since she is a Ti user, the RIGHT answer is never really known, thus should never be presented verbally as REALLY known. The more stressed or trying to focus the ENFP is, the more abrupt and stilted the speech, especially written, will be. Te requires extra energy, so we hop in long enough to finish the task-compile a stilted, abrupt response, then hop out again.
What you may also observe is you tell her about soemthing you are dealing with and she goes "well I once did X, and Ionce did Y, and I once felt this, and I once felt that" followed by "You should do X, Y, and Z." It sounds first selfish, then second commanding and controlling.
In reality, it is really meant to be "I hear and understand your situation and I want to share that I once felt something this myself, so you are not alone in your frustration, greif, confusion etc. All of your feelings and thoughts are perfectly valid and acceptable and it is okay and you are an awesome person and there is nothing wrong with you or what you feel" then "Based upon what I understand from my past, what I understand of your situation, and from others situations, there are tons of things that may help you, if they are of value, but they are only suggestions. You might first try X, Y, Z......."
Since she is your mom, she loves you, and has a value is trying to do the best she can for you-thus potentially pushing those suggestions more strongly-not understanding that your entire perceptional/judging framework for all intents is in another universe from hers.
Also be exceptionally careful regarding to try and predict her motives and intent. It is highly likely you will read into her actions and words.