I have this one friendship that I feel is getting out of control.
Let me start by explaining how it came to be.
I go to high school with very few white kids. It is a huge public school, but we are no doubt in a huge minority. I am fine with this. I like the culture my school gives me in contrast to my all white/asian private school I had previously attended.
I switched into my current school start of junior year. In all of my classes, I noticed that there was one other white kid. I befriended him, naturally, and soon learned that he smoked weed. Now, me being a lover of the fine herb, a connection was formed between me and this kid that I hardly even knew.
Now, here is the thing that gets me, and where my ENTJ side comes out. This is the side of myself that I hate (and the side that I presume all ENTJ's hate). This kid is nice. Really nice. So much so that he began smoking me out (paying for my weed) everyday without anything in return. At first I thought that this was cool because he was a really chill guy. A guy that was fun to smoke with, pass hours with in school, and best of all, he provided the herb.
I soon learned that we were incompatible. I am the obnoxious ENTJ that soft people hate, but headstrong people love. Love me or hate me and that is what I have come to accept. Every single thing that ENTJ's classically hate in people this guy fit the bill. The most forgetful, incompetent, soft, feely guy... a good guy, but WAY TOO NICE. Just not the right match for my personality type. And I soon realized this, but I kept hanging out with him because it was something to do and weed to smoke. Soon, he became full on clingy, following me everywhere in and out of school. It began to piss me off.
I hate that I could be such a shallow person, rejecting such a nice guy merely because I deem him incompetent, but the truth is that it would just never work. So I have been attempting to drop the relationship totally because I feel that I am only hurting him (He is a feeler, always depressed). I am just far too overbearing and I know that deep down he doesn't like me. He likes what I bring to the table - fun, humor, command, other friends of mine that he would have never been "cool" enough to meet on his own.
I was always seeing this friend because of the isolation at our school and the refuge we found in cutting a class and smoking a bowl amongst 2, 3, 4, however many friends. It was fun, but I didn't want the relationship to continue. What can I say? I just can't stand people who make me drive 20 minutes to a location only to remember that they forgot the weed at home. Little shit like that that just RIPS me up with anger.
So basically my dilemna is this - the kid is full on clinging to me. How can I get him to back the fuck off and preferably end the friendship altogether? I am in every single class with him so there is no avoiding contact. And he doesn't drive so i need to give him a ride home from school everyday. I am not a dick - if it is a good friend I will gladly give them a ride, but that is not the case. No matter how much I try to trick my mind into being nicer to him, we just don't click. I want him out of my life, following me around and having him cling on to me, texting me LITERALLY once every other hour throughout the day.
I would love to just be my brute, honest self and end it, but the kid is mad depressed and I still need to see him everyday for school and give him a ride home. And usually, he tempts me with weed to make me hang out with him. As great a speak that I am, he always manages to manipulate me when weed is involved.
So my question to this obscenely long post (and the length of this post is a testimony to how much the situation pisses me off), how do I end a friendship with somebody that I am forced to see everyday and also actively communicate with without causing their depression to destroy them? I am an ENTJ. I know what is of no use to me.
Let me start by explaining how it came to be.
I go to high school with very few white kids. It is a huge public school, but we are no doubt in a huge minority. I am fine with this. I like the culture my school gives me in contrast to my all white/asian private school I had previously attended.
I switched into my current school start of junior year. In all of my classes, I noticed that there was one other white kid. I befriended him, naturally, and soon learned that he smoked weed. Now, me being a lover of the fine herb, a connection was formed between me and this kid that I hardly even knew.
Now, here is the thing that gets me, and where my ENTJ side comes out. This is the side of myself that I hate (and the side that I presume all ENTJ's hate). This kid is nice. Really nice. So much so that he began smoking me out (paying for my weed) everyday without anything in return. At first I thought that this was cool because he was a really chill guy. A guy that was fun to smoke with, pass hours with in school, and best of all, he provided the herb.
I soon learned that we were incompatible. I am the obnoxious ENTJ that soft people hate, but headstrong people love. Love me or hate me and that is what I have come to accept. Every single thing that ENTJ's classically hate in people this guy fit the bill. The most forgetful, incompetent, soft, feely guy... a good guy, but WAY TOO NICE. Just not the right match for my personality type. And I soon realized this, but I kept hanging out with him because it was something to do and weed to smoke. Soon, he became full on clingy, following me everywhere in and out of school. It began to piss me off.
I hate that I could be such a shallow person, rejecting such a nice guy merely because I deem him incompetent, but the truth is that it would just never work. So I have been attempting to drop the relationship totally because I feel that I am only hurting him (He is a feeler, always depressed). I am just far too overbearing and I know that deep down he doesn't like me. He likes what I bring to the table - fun, humor, command, other friends of mine that he would have never been "cool" enough to meet on his own.
I was always seeing this friend because of the isolation at our school and the refuge we found in cutting a class and smoking a bowl amongst 2, 3, 4, however many friends. It was fun, but I didn't want the relationship to continue. What can I say? I just can't stand people who make me drive 20 minutes to a location only to remember that they forgot the weed at home. Little shit like that that just RIPS me up with anger.
So basically my dilemna is this - the kid is full on clinging to me. How can I get him to back the fuck off and preferably end the friendship altogether? I am in every single class with him so there is no avoiding contact. And he doesn't drive so i need to give him a ride home from school everyday. I am not a dick - if it is a good friend I will gladly give them a ride, but that is not the case. No matter how much I try to trick my mind into being nicer to him, we just don't click. I want him out of my life, following me around and having him cling on to me, texting me LITERALLY once every other hour throughout the day.
I would love to just be my brute, honest self and end it, but the kid is mad depressed and I still need to see him everyday for school and give him a ride home. And usually, he tempts me with weed to make me hang out with him. As great a speak that I am, he always manages to manipulate me when weed is involved.
So my question to this obscenely long post (and the length of this post is a testimony to how much the situation pisses me off), how do I end a friendship with somebody that I am forced to see everyday and also actively communicate with without causing their depression to destroy them? I am an ENTJ. I know what is of no use to me.