[ENFJ] Female ENFJS: Describe your ideal guy

[metaphours]

Because I'm curious.......

 

[Glycerine]

Dream guy: Smart, funny, outgoing, kind, and, quirky. But if you are going for an ego boost, there are many attractive qualities to INFP males... There's a whole thread about that.

 

[entropie]

Dream guy: me

Who else ?

 

[Glycerine]

Dream guy: me

Who else ?

Of course. How did you read my mind?

 

[entropie]

It's a gift, but I hate to brag about it

 

[Domino]

Our Entropie has such a nice nose.


Eh, well, as far as "ideal" goes, I have a really wide range that has swung from INFP to INTP to ENTP to ISTP. I have to feel really at ease with you, which seems to be the lynch pin. If you naturally make me edgy and fugitive, I can't be comfortable or open.

I'm still all for digging up Doc Holliday and marrying him.

 

[Glycerine]

I'm still all for digging up Doc Holliday and marrying him.

That's just so sexy and delicious.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

How's four out of five?

 

[Glycerine]

How's four out of five?

Of course, MP. That still sounds like my kind of man.

 

[Domino]

That's just so sexy and delicious.

Innit just?

*throws the shovels in the truck*

Come on, darlin'! We're headed for Colorad-y!

 

[Clonester]

I only know ENFJ guys. And they are self motivated go-getters. Including for dating. Are you ENFJ girls likely to pursue your ideal guy? Or initiate some social setting where you are with the guy you are interested in?

 

[Domino]

Walp, leshee...

The ENTPs, no chasing/herding/attacking with a broom required. Though it did require a lot of interplay, which I enjoyed A LOT. Nothing like going to work and beating your honey lovingly over the head with reports and witticisms while he puts motor oil on your glasses and hides your stuff inside the A/C reclamation machine. hahaha, good times.

The ISTPs don't require it either as they've usually already come to a decision about me and aren't afraid of me or my little bulldog teeth or my loud bark or yard-defending postures or my spines and puffiness. You won't swallow ME whole! No wait, that's a blowfish. Never mind.

The INTPs, okay, yes. Like marathon levels of pursuit. Which depressed me and made me wonder if they liked me at all. Saying "hello" = running away from me, round #16. Months of this.

 

[Neutralpov]

IMO

1.) Matching internal values and mine are usually hard to get to and reserved for long term friends who I trust ONLY (but I will be social and polite with anyone with my Fe)
2.) Can talk me through my emotions/ narrow thoughts and give a logical perspective to explain my weird Ni inclinations and then I can sigh and feel not crazy anymore
2.) express emotion/love or vulnerability so I can feel appreciated and equal in the relationship. This is hard because some guys will fix my car or listen to show they care but I need words, time, visible facial expression, initiated thoughtfulness, giving (not $ based but thought based), or communication to "feel" loved. And knowing mentally isn't enough, period. It is like my personal love tank has a hole in it with a slow leak and some people express love and I naturally recognize it and feel filled up with love and always just feel loved even if they don't say it. Miscommunications in this area ultimately left me feeling dry.
4.) patient or generally P which I equate with non-judgmental or accepting because I am hard on myself already and this lightens up that
5.) not too introverted. I've liked two INTP's I know but the introversion will break the relationship b/c it = going alone to social events

 

[proteanmix]

I'm not really into the whole mythic MBTI pairing of ENFJs with INTPs or even generally TPs. Why would you do that to some poor ENFJ? I personally tend to get along with TJs very well, sometimes their Te comes across as harsh but it's not very much different from Ti detachment I suppose and I don't like detachment.

MBTI aside I do value someone who uses more impersonal logic than I do and someone who thinks more before they act. It took my friend a little over a month to figure out if he wanted an ipod or an itouch. It was a little excessive to me, but I can appreciate it. While I haven't necessarily learned to wait I've boned up on my research skills before I buy...I mean simple stuff like that I don't really think about and I feel stupid over once it gets pointed out to me. Oh and whatever google says most people want in their romantic relationships. And the ability to write a coherent and effective business letter.

How do people list these sorts of things? They seem so personal to me. I'm a J so of course I have my mental list, but I'd feel like somebody photocopied a page of my diary and plastered it everywhere.

 

[Domino]

Dear NFJ Diary,

I totally made out with John Taylor today. In my mind.

Love, Pink

 

[the state i am in]

1.) Matching internal values and mine are usually hard to get to and reserved for long term friends who I trust ONLY (but I will be social and polite with anyone with my Fe)
2.) Can talk me through my emotions/ narrow thoughts and give a logical perspective to explain my weird Ni inclinations and then I can sigh and feel not crazy anymore
2.) express emotion/love or vulnerability so I can feel appreciated and equal in the relationship. This is hard because some guys will fix my car or listen to show they care but I need words, time, visible facial expression, initiated thoughtfulness, giving (not $ based but thought based), or communication to "feel" loved. And knowing mentally isn't enough, period. It is like my personal love tank has a hole in it with a slow leak and some people express love and I naturally recognize it and feel filled up with love and always just feel loved even if they don't say it. Miscommunications in this area ultimately left me feeling dry.
4.) patient or generally P which I equate with non-judgmental or accepting because I am hard on myself already and this lightens up that
5.) not too introverted. I've liked two INTP's I know but the introversion will break the relationship b/c it = going alone to social events

this is beautifully written. i'm a male infj and i identify with this as much as anything on the subject i've read on this forum so far.

i know i can keep things on course over the long haul and charting the course conceptually speaking. i just lose track of myself and need a little love, care, and patience to put me back on track. most of all, tho, is i need expressiveness and a strong desire to communicate/deeply connect. it just recharges my batteries. i get drained and it renews my value. which motivates me to get out there and get at it, again.

this is also my concern with T relationships. in some ways, they obviously make me better and more well-adjusted. but in other ways, i feel this lack of rejuvenation, reconnection, catalyzed feeling, passion, etc. i am learning how to see this from a wider lens, to better judge if i want to accept and embrace it or ultimately reject it.

 

[Littlelostnf]

Dear NFJ Diary,

I totally made out with John Taylor today. In my mind.

Love, Pink

Dear Pink,

I've always liked you, you're fun, witty and you make me laugh...HOWEVER
if you mess with John Taylor...even in your mind expect an internet throwdown the likes of which you have NEVER seen. He's mine and has been since 1982.

The End.

ps: I hope this doesn't mean we can't be friends.

 

[Domino]

Dear Pink,

I've always liked you, you're fun, witty and you make me laugh...HOWEVER
if you mess with John Taylor...even in your mind expect an internet throwdown the likes of which you have NEVER seen. He's mine and has been since 1982.

The End.

ps: I hope this doesn't mean we can't be friends.

Dear LLNF,

I have always rather liked you too and hope that my letting the air out of your tires so that John might ride home with me instead is something you might readily forgive. I also totally understood why you wrestled me to the ground in the teacher's lounge and smeared me with your ham sandwich. I had it coming. That was a tasty sandwich too.

Super duper high-five friends 4evah!

The Pink-a-nator

 

[Littlelostnf]

Dear LLNF,

I have always rather liked you too and hope that my letting the air out of your tires so that John might ride home with me instead is something you might readily forgive. I also totally understood why you wrestled me to the ground in the teacher's lounge and smeared me with your ham sandwich. I had it coming. That was a tasty sandwich too.

Super duper high-five friends 4evah!

The Pink-a-nator

Dear Piranha,

It's a good think I carry Fix-O-Flat in my car. I followed you and it's all good I saw John politely tell you no...I trust my man. But in the words of Squeak in the Color Purple

Squeak: Hapo! Who dis woman?
Harpo: Now come now, you know who this is.
Squeak: She best'a leave you alone.
Sophia: Fine with me.
Harpo: [to Sophia] You ain't got to go nowhere. Dis here my jut-joint.
Squeak: [to Harpo] You said dis here our jut-joint!
Harpo: Listen woman can't a man dance with his wife if he wants to?
Squeak: Not if she left'm!
[to Sophia]
Squeak: And not if he my man! You just a big ol heffa. Ha Ha Ha

So just you remember John my man!...You just a big ol heffa. Ha Ha Ha!

PS: That wasn't ham it was Spam...(stuff is disgusting..which is why I could afford to waste my lunch on you.) I'm glad you realize you had it coming

your bff,
LLNF

 

[Domino]

you have slashed me to the heart, cruel vixen, but i have learnt my lesson... i shall keep my thieving hooves to myself...

lol @ heffa...