Morpeko
Noble Wolf
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2017
- Messages
- 5,407
- MBTI Type
- LEFV
- Enneagram
- 461
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
The thing I usually get is that E1 cannot, in fact, be NFP. You are either ENFP or you are an E1. I think I have officially broken the system.
I have considered the possibility that I am INFP, but my E1 makes my Te look stronger than it is. At the same time I can see where I go to a sort of poor Te under stress usually, where I become more callous and harsh compared to in a normal setting my Ne will want to try to understand and my Fi does not like being so harsh with people. I can make 100 excuses for people but if I pop a fuse I become pretty nasty sometimes.
I feel like I could equally see arguments for me being Sp or So second. I do tend to notice social hierarchies and such, I am *aware* of them. But I feel like if I had to pick one, much of my behavior falls under attempting to preserve myself second, preserve my ability to be seen positively (not be a social pariah) etc. while finding people I can truly gel with.
Most people who know me I think type me as E4 because my tendency to fall into my emotional negative states very heavily and darkly, as well as my penchant for dark writing. I do not think that automatically makes you a 4.
A key feature of the 4 is a sort of jealousy. Which I think came from a previous vent I had in discord a long time ago, when I lost a friend. I brooded that I am unwanted and unaccepted by the world, no one wants me around actually, I wished I could just be like everyone else so I would fit in for once. I was quite depressed. This is where many of the E4 typings began, perhaps taken as me being jealous of those who actually are capable of fitting in. I think it was more like a...I feel like I don't belong anywhere, I don't fit anywhere, and I am not jealous like I don't wish hurtful harm on those who DO fit. I just want that for myself too, I want to be able to do that but it seems like I can't. They said this is an E4 sort of thing, but when I read E4 it seems they would moreless enjoy being so unique that they don't fit anywhere?
Yeah, and I think people saying that certain MBTI types being limited to certain enneagram types is absolutely stupid TBH. I get that being a type 2 ISTP would be fucking odd, but people claiming that all 1s have to be Js or some shit is ridiculous. Also, if someone thinks that high Fi is somehow contradictory to the moral-oriented type 1, they need to get their shit together and read some more about type 1... There is literally nothing contradictory there.
I'm a hardcore soc-blind but I am aware of social hierarchies. I just choose not to fit into any of them or prioritize it in my thinking. I'd rather take care of myself first. I see some of that in you. But I also am less sure about your variants as I said earlier. I don't tend to type people's variants unless they're glaringly obvious, and yours aren't.
Yeah, envy is an integral part about Type 4 for sure. I think the key thing about being a 4 is that they place authenticity and being true to yourself above fitting in rather than trying so hard to be different. Yet envy those who fit in. Mainly I think 4s see ourselves as defective and even if we tried to be more like others it would be a lie and therefore not an option because it's not authentic. Any type can be depressed, any type can like dark art,, any type can feel like they don't fit in. It's how you deal with it and I don't see much 4 there, but your heart fix is last so that clouds things up.