This is just an observation I've had with three Fe doms in my sphere of acquaintances, two ENFJ and one ESFJ, but when I talk to them, I swear, what I get or feel from them is nothing of themselves, as if there is this wall up that prevents me seeing the real them. I don't believe they are Sp doms or anything as they are all very warm and welcoming, but I definitely feel this supposed barrier that no others I know seem to possess. It sometimes feels like I am talking to a wall, where my voice echoes and reverberates. What I hear back is different and not just a mirrored projection, but it's altered. This bounce-back affect is, what I believe, is the cause of me feeling like there is this wall between me and getting to know who they really are.
This is just an observation with some theorizing here, but if anyone can add to this or give their feedback, that'd be awesome. Is Fe like this? Is this a trait of Fe??
Yes, i think people that value Fe do have a wall. It's much different that Fi I think. You can get past it, but it does take some time. And often times I find that they need this wall taken down every time you interact. I'm guessing it has something to do with not wanting to give too much of yourself away at first. I don't really know though.
The way that I experience them taking down the wall seems to be some sort of series of unconscious steps. The wall is most apparent when i am meeting up with the Fe valuer after being separate for a while. It's not like Fi, where you have this deep connection and know that you know the person, and that everything is going to be ok, and you can just pick up right back where you left off. Fe valuers seem to need a build up to get to that place. If you are talking on a consistent basis, then the wall is not really apparent. If a bit of time goes by you may need to bring that wall down again with them.
From an outside perspective it looks like the Fe valuer needs to get some "momentum" going. They need that "momentum of flow in interaction." Once the "flow" in interaction stops, it doesn't seem like they access it again, until they get a flow going again. I think it's very different than Fi actually. Because I can cultivate that flow with a person without the person even being around haha. My bonds and flow with people are stable, like a cord that is always connected to them. I think Fe is more "in motion" than the Fi cord.
It's very similar to the "water" analogy that [MENTION=30122]Cat Brainz[/MENTION] has explained before. Fe gets into the "flow of the river" slowly. They probably have to "ease into the water" every time or something. I think for Fi, the flow of the water is always maintained. It doesn't go away for me. I'm acutely aware of what waves moved between me and each person. I'm guessing that Fe is paying attention to
all the waves as a whole between everyone, where I'm only concerned with the waves between me and the other people i'm familiar with.
My guesses could all be bullshit though, who knows. But it fits into my analogy that I gave a couple months ago. That Fi is the bottom of the ocean, and Fe is riding the waves on top. I would never want there to be waves going on between others and myself. That would be very stressful. So maybe the "wall" is what Fe needs in order to acclimate to whatever waves are happening.