LightSun
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2009
- Messages
- 1,143
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- #9
“I have often ask an open ended question. What is one good barometer of good mental health. A lack of triggerability. These dynamics are prevelant in any interpersonal conflict. They all tied and are bound together ininistrictably.
1. Cognitive Dissonance
2. Cognitive Distortions
3. Emotional Reasoning (a cognitive distortion)
4. Projection
5. Judgment
6. Only in a dictionary use and not as an insult, a sense of being right. I am right, they are wrong and I have every right to demonize them.
7. In reality you are protecting your sense of self and as yet mature enough sense of being. If you know who you are and what’s you stand for, you don’t have to prove yourself to anybody. Especially if they are coming at you from a clearly triggered position.
8. If you get in an arguement to prove your point and use negative subjective language, then you are not being objective and cool headed.
You are defending a fragile ego, one that is not psychologically, emotionally or spiritually mature enough to disengage. You can’t reason with someone who is clearly triggered, using cognitive distortions and attacking you with insults.
I have a saying, “It takes two irrational people to have an argument. One is metaphorically beating their head bloody and senseless on the North Wall. The other is senselessly beating their head bloody on the South Wall.
Neither is using Active Listening Skills, such as validation, feedback or reflection. They are only merely repeating their argument over and over again all the while getting more heated.
It’s akin to pouring gasoline unto a fire. In a real discussion, their is use of objective facts and use of human reason.” LightSun
1. Cognitive Dissonance
2. Cognitive Distortions
3. Emotional Reasoning (a cognitive distortion)
4. Projection
5. Judgment
6. Only in a dictionary use and not as an insult, a sense of being right. I am right, they are wrong and I have every right to demonize them.
7. In reality you are protecting your sense of self and as yet mature enough sense of being. If you know who you are and what’s you stand for, you don’t have to prove yourself to anybody. Especially if they are coming at you from a clearly triggered position.
8. If you get in an arguement to prove your point and use negative subjective language, then you are not being objective and cool headed.
You are defending a fragile ego, one that is not psychologically, emotionally or spiritually mature enough to disengage. You can’t reason with someone who is clearly triggered, using cognitive distortions and attacking you with insults.
I have a saying, “It takes two irrational people to have an argument. One is metaphorically beating their head bloody and senseless on the North Wall. The other is senselessly beating their head bloody on the South Wall.
Neither is using Active Listening Skills, such as validation, feedback or reflection. They are only merely repeating their argument over and over again all the while getting more heated.
It’s akin to pouring gasoline unto a fire. In a real discussion, their is use of objective facts and use of human reason.” LightSun