[ESTJ] Ask an ESTJ!

[Sil]

What would be your reaction when someone describes you as cute ?

Ask them who put them up to it.

 

[RosieJones]

Yay! S types are really underrepresented on here!

My type is considered quite dreamy...would you ever call yourself a dreamy person or are you always practical and realistic? (as the ESTJs are known for)

Also why is it that few S types or just ESTJs visit mbti forums like this?

 

[Ghost]

How close am I to completing my transformation into an ESTJ?

 

[Ursa]

Also why is it that few S types or just ESTJs visit mbti forums like this?

Most threads on sites like this are abstract and not terribly relevant to what actually matters: reality. It doesn't pay my bills to be here, it doesn't do my dishes, landscape, clean, study, run errands, spend time with my cats or any other task that needs to be done to be here. There is so much to be accomplished, and when that's dealt with, I have shows I want to watch and people to spend time with. This is usually the last place I am at when I am available. I have social and intellectual circles elsewhere IRL, and I have many hobbies.

Most posts do not cite sources (and the ones that do usually don't cite reputable ones), but I do have access to academic articles and a university, which makes most threads here by comparison not a worthwhile avenue to pursue when I want to learn in depth about a topic. Doubly so when there is a possibility that trolls and assholes can comment here, but not in an article or any course I am enrolled in. Yesterday I spoke to a philosophy lecturer, and we had a conversation that would, honestly, never occur here because it involved an expert and because all participants in the conversation knew each other and the topic well. Quality like that simply cannot be experienced online, except in extremely restricted and special environments.

Mostly, I am doer. I like activities and I like the physical. It was sunny today and I spent so much time outside, and later I will look at the stars and then pump some iron and swim. It's hard to sit at computer when there is so much out there in the world that can be experienced and so much to be done.

 

[SpankyMcFly]

Can ESTJs meditate? Is that even possible for them to sit down and do nothing, especially not think for a 20-30 minute stretch? I recently have tried to show both my daughters (one is an ESTJ age 15), how to meditate and the ESTJ just can't shut down for that amount of time, it's like she is in pain simply trying. My initial approach was to explain the benefits including relaxation to which she responded with, why would i want to NOT be doing something when there is so much to be done? I need any tips, tricks, approaches you ESTJs can recommend please. Perhaps I'm pushing something that simply isn't a good fit and I need to back off. Thanks!

 

[Ursa]

Can ESTJs meditate? Is that even possible for them to sit down and do nothing, especially not think for a 20-30 minute stretch? I recently have tried to show both my daughters (one is an ESTJ age 15), how to meditate and the ESTJ just can't shut down for that amount of time, it's like she is in pain simply trying. My initial approach was to explain the benefits including relaxation to which she responded with, why would i want to NOT be doing something when there is so much to be done? I need any tips, tricks, approaches you ESTJs can recommend please. Perhaps I'm pushing something that simply isn't a good fit and I need to back off. Thanks!

I meditate every day, at least twice a day. Mostly I stick to Zen techniques.

I recommend the basics as outlined here. Thich Nhat Hanh is another author who has awesome meditations and explanations a sensor may like. But there is not much that can be done when a 15-year-old ESTJ has decided what she does and does not want to do. It's her loss, and perhaps she will learn with time over several burnouts that quiet and meditation have a place in her schedule.

Focus, clarity, emotional wellness, compassion, resilience. A person may need to be humbled to want to seek these. I think she will come around eventually. Remind her to breathe when she is stressed, and she is already mostly there.

 

[SpankyMcFly]

I meditate every day, at least twice a day. Mostly I stick to Zen techniques.

I recommend the basics as outlined here. Thich Nhat Hanh is another author who has awesome meditations and explanations a sensor may like. But there is not much that can be done when a 15-year-old ESTJ has decided what she does and does not want to do. It's her loss, and perhaps she will learn with time over several burnouts that quiet and meditation have a place in her schedule.

Focus, clarity, emotional wellness, compassion, resilience. A person may need to be humbled to want to seek these. I think she will come around eventually. Remind her to breathe when she is stressed, and she is already mostly there.

Right, she can be quite set in her judgements. Her age is likely the major factor blocking her from seeing the utility of 'time off'. I'll show her that link you provided which is excellent btw, thanks! I am going to stop pressuring her to try meditation though and simply 'show' her the tangible results she could be reaping when I meditate with her younger ISFP sister. She's made her decision

 

[RosieJones]

Most threads on sites like this are abstract and not terribly relevant to what actually matters: reality. It doesn't pay my bills to be here, it doesn't do my dishes, landscape, clean, study, run errands, spend time with my cats or any other task that needs to be done to be here. There is so much to be accomplished, and when that's dealt with, I have shows I want to watch and people to spend time with. This is usually the last place I am at when I am available. I have social and intellectual circles elsewhere IRL, and I have many hobbies.

Most posts do not cite sources (and the ones that do usually don't cite reputable ones), but I do have access to academic articles and a university, which makes most threads here by comparison not a worthwhile avenue to pursue when I want to learn in depth about a topic. Doubly so when there is a possibility that trolls and assholes can comment here, but not in an article or any course I am enrolled in. Yesterday I spoke to a philosophy lecturer, and we had a conversation that would, honestly, never occur here because it involved an expert and because all participants in the conversation knew each other and the topic well. Quality like that simply cannot be experienced online, except in extremely restricted and special environments.

Mostly, I am doer. I like activities and I like the physical. It was sunny today and I spent so much time outside, and later I will look at the stars and then pump some iron and swim. It's hard to sit at computer when there is so much out there in the world that can be experienced and so much to be done.

That was really interesting, thank you! You hit the nail on the head there with the fact that S types like to be doing things rather than theorising about them. I understand from your point of view that you feel these sites don't help you with real life but i think they do in a way (at least for me). They help me understand the people around me and now, with so much research on MBTI I can get along with loads of different types of people which I couldn't before because I can type them and then understand our differences and focus on what we have in common. This could also be useful in a work format when say you need to be able to work with many different types of Coworkers. For example I might type someone, after observing them for a while, as ISFJ...as I am an INFP to get along with them I would focus on what we have in common (the I and the F) and the cognitive functions we share (Si and and Ne). When I'm with my ISFJ friend I now talk about past experiences much more as I know this will trigger both our Si functions and we get along better!

I think it also comes down to the fact that S types and N types are searching for different things and want different things out of life. As an INFP, understanding and truth about life is key for me: I crave to understand the people and world around me. When I feel I understand everything I feel more in control and less confused. Our types are the complete opposite so you probably don't value those things as much or you don't need them to feel happy and focused. I guess that's also why Ns like to theorise about things - we find it interesting and helps quench our need for understanding.

 

[RosieJones]

Could I also ask what it is that interests you about this website if you typically don't think it helps you in real life in any way?

 

[Ursa]

Could I also ask what it is that interests you about this website if you typically don't think it helps you in real life in any way?

I browse from time to time to look at the typology threads. I also think it's important to answer in this thread because many people have so many misunderstandings about sensors and about ESTJs. I'm usually not on for very long though. I've studied typology for a long time but the value in this site for me is to ask questions and to double check every now and then.

 

[Ursa]

I think it also comes down to the fact that S types and N types are searching for different things and want different things out of life. As an INFP, understanding and truth about life is key for me: I crave to understand the people and world around me. When I feel I understand everything I feel more in control and less confused. Our types are the complete opposite so you probably don't value those things as much or you don't need them to feel happy and focused. I guess that's also why Ns like to theorise about things - we find it interesting and helps quench our need for understanding.

S vs N isn't about values, but rather how we perceive the world around us. ESTJs are no-bullshit types who like truth too, but I understand others and the environment around me because I interact with it a lot IRL. For an introverted intuitor, you may arrive at the same place because you researched people and your environment online.

 

[EJCC]

Yay! S types are really underrepresented on here!

My type is considered quite dreamy...would you ever call yourself a dreamy person or are you always practical and realistic? (as the ESTJs are known for)

I wouldn't call myself "dreamy", no. I would call myself a thoughtful person. I introspect a lot, and I analyze things almost to the point of overanalysis / neurosis. But even when I'm "off in another world", I'm thinking about real life, or reflecting on something I did/experienced in real life.

Also why is it that few S types or just ESTJs visit mbti forums like this?

Basically, S types need to feel like sites like this actually have a practical use to them. The practical use of this forum is clear to me -- getting to know folks of every type, gaining useful information from them on their experiences, and generally gaining useful knowledge from others that I can use in my everyday interactions with others. But that use is not as clear to other Sensors.

They may also not be as patient as me, and may want instant gratification on that front. In which case they can turn to various wikis, instead of investing in a forum experience.

As an INFP, understanding and truth about life is key for me: I crave to understand the people and world around me.

FWIW, this is key for me as well.

How close am I to completing my transformation into an ESTJ?

... It's the thought that counts.

 

[fetus]

What is your relationship with tertiary Ne?

 

[RosieJones]

I wouldn't call myself "dreamy", no. I would call myself a thoughtful person. I introspect a lot, and I analyze things almost to the point of overanalysis / neurosis. But even when I'm "off in another world", I'm thinking about real life, or reflecting on something I did/experienced in real life.


Basically, S types need to feel like sites like this actually have a practical use to them. The practical use of this forum is clear to me -- getting to know folks of every type, gaining useful information from them on their experiences, and generally gaining useful knowledge from others that I can use in my everyday interactions with others. But that use is not as clear to other Sensors.

They may also not be as patient as me, and may want instant gratification on that front. In which case they can turn to various wikis, instead of investing in a forum experience.


FWIW, this is key for me as well.


... It's the thought that counts.

Thank you! I don't think we are actually as different as I thought.

 

[Frosty]

Have you ever broken a serious rule? How did you feel after/during/before if you ever have? Did you used to 'police' your peers more than 'play' with them? How do you view rebels/rule-breakers- ect? Would you ever go for the 'bad boy' stereotype or do you view is as ridiculous and a in and out bad idea-aka as in who would want to actually get in a relationship with someone genuine ill intentions. Suppose maybe depends on the degree and yeah- determining those out and out intentions. Anyways. Better stop now otherwise Ill just answer ALL of them for you- even though it is possible I am an ESTJ. Do you believe I could be an ESTJ?

 

[EJCC]

Have you ever broken a serious rule? How did you feel after/during/before if you ever have?

I have, and in the months following I basically went through the 5 stages of grief. But with lots more shame.

Did you used to 'police' your peers more than 'play' with them?

Not really. But I didn't shy away from starting the fights that I thought needed to be started.

How do you view rebels/rule-breakers- ect? Would you ever go for the 'bad boy' stereotype or do you view is as ridiculous and a in and out bad idea-aka as in who would want to actually get in a relationship with someone genuine ill intentions.

If I were to date a rule-breaker, they'd have to be rule-breakers for a cause I agreed with. And their rule-breaking could not, under any circumstances, embarrass me.

Do you believe I could be an ESTJ?

No way in hell.

 

[Frosty]

I have, and in the months following I basically went through the 5 stages of grief. But with lots more shame.

Not really. But I didn't shy away from starting the fights that I thought needed to be started.


If I were to date a rule-breaker, they'd have to be rule-breakers for a cause I agreed with. And their rule-breaking could not, under any circumstances, embarrass me.


No way in hell.

I love this response so much.

Do you think you would stay on typoC if for some reason you got dethroned from being a moderator? Aka didnt quit- was 'let go'.

 

[Ursa]

What is your relationship with tertiary Ne?

Mine is really nice, but that's a relatively recent development. I can better embrace randomness, make odd connections and seek out the new now. I used to cook the same dishes and do the same routines, but now I am better at attempts to try out new dishes and adventures and even not have a solid plan but improvise. I also like philosophy here and there, and some theoretical physics, but not too much. I consider my Ne an asset. By contrast, my ISFJ mother still has issues with the unknown, spontaneity and the conceptual.

I don't know that I answered your question properly. Let me know and I'll try another way!

How do you view rebels/rule-breakers- ect? Would you ever go for the 'bad boy' stereotype or do you view is as ridiculous and a in and out bad idea-aka as in who would want to actually get in a relationship with someone genuine ill intentions.

People who break rules for the sake of breaking rules are a nuisance, and I think they are very selfish and short-sighted. I have more respect for someone who breaks the rules for a well thought-out, well-intentioned reason. I recently re-watched the Star Wars saga, and technically the rebels are rule-breakers. But they are fighting for reason, and that reason is democracy, the protection of innocent peoples and tolerance for non-human aliens. That is very worthwhile and I have loads of respect for that. If I lived in that universe, I would throw my support behind the Rebellion.

I don't go for bad boy types, though I admit I have a few private fantasies. I go for people who respect others and who are supportive, thoughtful and kind. Not just to me but to everyone. I'd date a rule-breaker if his rule-breaking made legitimate sense and was someone I could get behind.

I don't know you that well, but from what I've read of your posts, you don't seem like an ESTJ.

 

[EJCC]

Do you think you would stay on typoC if for some reason you got dethroned from being a moderator? Aka didnt quit- was 'let go'.

It depends on the reasons for my being let go. To generalize across the various possibilities: I'd stick around if I still respected the other mods, and if they still respected me.

People who break rules for the sake of breaking rules are a nuisance, and I think they are very selfish and short-sighted. I have more respect for someone who breaks the rules for a well thought-out, well-intentioned reason. I recently re-watched the Star Wars saga, and technically the rebels are rule-breakers. But they are fighting for reason, and that reason is democracy, the protection of innocent peoples and tolerance for non-human aliens. That is very worthwhile and I have loads of respect for that. If I lived in that universe, I would throw my support behind the Rebellion.

I don't go for bad boy types, though I admit I have a few private fantasies. I go for people who respect others and who are supportive, thoughtful and kind. Not just to me but to everyone. I'd date a rule-breaker if his rule-breaking made legitimate sense and was someone I could get behind.

^ I agree with all this.

 

[scc17]

How do i treat or behave with this ESTJ?? (ESFP
Asking)

We met each other in a jiu jitsu class and things went a lil far (sexually) after telling how we felt for each other so I asked not tell anyone about us to avoid any trouble in his job.

I started to developed feelings for him and asked him "what are we". He never gave me a straight answer. I was confused so I told two friends we have in common and who knew what was going between us for advice: His boss, who's a friend of mine and a guy from our class who's a mutual friend. He learned that i told others about us and he called and told me he couldn't trust me anymore, that he was hurt, disappointed and could not believe what i did ....and that it was over. One month later, I went to apologize and he agreed on giving me one chance to regain his trust and try to be friends. He also told me to change some aspects of my behavior and be carefull of whom i trust. Like being more humble, less bitchy, keeping things to myself, not trust anyone.

After that, he started acting completely awkward, sometimes he was nice with me and sometimes he's rough and cold.
So i decided to pull back and change the aspects he told me to and got way better at jiu jitsu.
After that he started treating me very respectful and kind. He didn't mind at all spending time explaining any technique I had problem with. He talked to me more often, etc.

But Again, the situation got way out of hand when the owner (his bosses boss) of all the jiu jitsu academies in the area found out. His best friend (my other teacher) called me and told me if i knew how bad i looked as a woman telling everyone about what I did with the other teacher.

I was beyond upset.

So i went directly to talk to the guy and we cleared everything.
Compared to other situations I've had with him, for my surprise he started treating me with even more respect and kindness.

True is, I still like him and I don't know what to do with all this....

Im a ESFP