Riva
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2014
- Messages
- 2,372
There's never been any doubt in my mind that you're a 7 and like I mentioned to you following the creation of your enneagram thread that I was actually surprised to learn you were legitimately undecided and not merely doing the e7 "let's talk about possibilities for interest, education, creation and entertainment."
Now, I've been handing out tritype descriptions/outlines merely because I had noticed my copying & pasting skills were getting a little rusty...bless but the thought I had with yours...is you might be one of the few that lands their core type by coming in through the back door.bless <-Or, said in a way that actually makes sense...I was hoping the description of the Ambassador would help you expand your currently narrow understanding of "how a 7 must look, feel and act like"bless beyond the greek sun god Halla.
So you think I am a 7-9-3? Yeah I am cool with those three letters.
Another thing that sometimes helps individuals in your position is to take a break from some of the over-arching concepts and merely catch and consider the little clues when they present themselves.bless Which is precisely why I pulled the above quote over from the Member Photos thread.
That quote riva is classic e7...and is precisely why the word "playful" can be found in nearly all 7 descriptions...especially descriptions of the notoriously playful 7w8.bless What makes it a valuable clue however...is that it is simultaneously something that would be highly unusual for a core e9 to say.
As insignificant as this tiny joke may seem to you...do not take for granted all of what needs to be in place within a person's psyche prior to this tiny joke taking its form.bless For the most part 7s feel good about themselves *I'm So Cute!*...and they feel good about others.bless They also generally assume others feel relatively good about themselves as well.bless <-And that's the foundation for "playful" riva.bless When everyone feels good...jokes towards self and others are entertaining and pose no threat to anyone's ego because no one actually takes any of these playful jokes seriously - it's all in fun.bless Now, due to the fact most 7s self-efface in equal amounts if not more than they joke with others...they do seem to have a high joke success rate.bless People seem to get that the dial is set to "playful"blessbless But I'm assuming you've pissed off a person or two in your time riva right?
Oh yeah. I've pissed quite a lot of people. Mainly online. IRL I can see the state of the person I am talking to and that person can see I am joking too and notice that I joke a shit ton anyway. I usually don't get people offended in RL. Also in my defense I don't knowingly make jokes at the expense of something which is bothering someone and acknowledge others' sensitivities and kinda admire people who are open and confident about their sensitive side, which is probably why I like/admire ENFJs. So I don't really run my mouth all the time and when running my mouth I know I can either get away with it and MOSTLY the other person will be cool with it. Online though body language they cannot see.
All what you have said about e7s I can relate to -
- I feel good about myself
- I assume others are feeling good about themselves too
- When everyone feels good...jokes towards self and others are entertaining and pose no threat to anyone's ego because no one actually takes any of these playful jokes seriously...... something I can see myself believing in.
Ps - I'm So Cute is supposed to be sarcastic. I hope people don't really believe that I believe I come across as someone sweet/cute. Lolz.
If you were conflict avoidant how likely do you think you would be to take these kinds of risks?bless I mean, the bottom line is this:bless it doesn't matter how playful you are or how cute.bless It doesn't matter how perfectly you gauged the situation and how innocently you executed your delivery...blessbless When you jokingly jab at another person...you are automatically causing an interpersonal/social situation that carries hidden within its effect a higher probability for potential conflict.bless And yet I see you do this all the time...why?bless Do you feel separate enough from the people around you that if a person takes something you've obviously said in fun the wrong way...that beyond a sincere apology there's not much you can do...bless that they need to be responsible for how others make them feel - not you?
It's rare to see 9s...even the more aggressive among them to...to joke in this kind of way.bless And it's not only the potential for conflict...it's the unpredictable quality of it all.
Even if we ignore the part of me that makes risky jokes I don't think I've ever felt or has been or claimed to be conflict avoidant. However, I am more diplomatic than conflictish for sure BUT through diplomacy I get into conflicts all the time. I can handle it. I am good with words. I can prove a point, except with CP 6s perhaps. Don't even waste your time I tell myself. Online it might be a bit harder to resolve conflicts by arguing or proving your point (you've probably noticed how arguments could be longer online.)
The question is, are 9s (esp 9w8s) so conflict avoidant as it is said? Do they not even take such silly risks? [MENTION=21883]sunyata[/MENTION] is a 9w8 (I think) and you often see him joking around too with a bit of risk and his ones are more dangerous as they carry sarcasm and satire which could offend people more. However I don't see other E9s doing that too much though. Infact it's very rare.
The last sentence 'Unpredictability avoidance' makes sense with 9s. I've read often they don't like change too much. Unpredictability of conversations I can handle. Obviously in life, it's not always the same. I am NOT counter arguing here with your point.
I dont feel removed from people enough to think a simple apology is enough. There really isnt much i can do other than sincerely apologize and make a mental note not to do that again with that person
In other words, when 9s create conflict they are deliberate in that.bless They know what they are doing.bless They are not doing the 7 *I wonder what would happen if I said this* no.bless Likewise, it is very, very rare to hear a core 9 self-efface (only 9w8s that I would identify as individuals making use of e6 counterphobia and so not you riva.)bless To the contrary as both 6 and 9 are connected to 3...it is often very subtle...but if you listen very closely you will hear them building themselves up which also reinforces the identity.
This whole para is a bit confusing.
Did you mean 'rare to hear a core 9 not self-efface?' This is the first time I learned the meaning of the word and I am using it in a sentence. Not clear what you are saying in that sentence and what is in the brackets.
Well I do deliberate conflict too. Did you mean to say when e9s take a risk they deliberate that rather than *I wonder how it goes*? I see myself doing both of that but mostly it's a risk.
Building themselves up in what scenario? arguments, conflicts, jokes etc. Perhaps e7s don't build things up you mean. They just jump right in any of those scenarios you mean. I can see myself doing both though.
I actually have a partially written response saved for you...somewhere...bless but I'm popping in here now because I fear I will forget to comment on this if I don't take care of this now.
Thank you for this. You are awesome. Did I ever tell you that
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I have been warming upto the idea of e7 for sometime now. And the points you made above made me think 'wow I am a 7.' Only a few things that stand in myself though -
- Not spontaneous
I am not a spontaneous guy. I am more planned in my actions even when I have fun. In conversations and when I am with people I am definitely spontaneous (especially in conversations) and definitely extroverted.
- Not the dude that drags people into doing things -
Have you noticed this in 7 esp 7w8s. They drag you out and make you do things in a day that someone hasn't done in a year. I am not that guy. 7w8s can make you feel as though you are a turtle. I don't.
- Not energetic -
I would never call myself the energetic dude. No way. Again in conversations I am but not physically.
- Inertia
This is a genuine problem of mine especially when I was younger. I would say e7s when younger are more active than when they are older. Whereas I am the opposite of that. Very inactive I was when I was young. Though I am active now my activities are planned. Not spontaneous.
Even though you made some awesome points above these are the main reasons I have e9 still at the back of my mind still, a bit. But right now I would say 7 > 9.
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