[Traditional Enneagram] How many 4's do you know in real life?

[Southern Kross]

this is making me wonder if people who know me irl would even type me as a 4 if they knew about enneagram. hmmmm.

Exactly. I don't know if others would for me either. I don't think 4s look like how people think they look. Hell, I'm not even sure what 4s look like and I am one! I might have encountered a few in my life but couldn't say with any certainty that they were. I wouldn't know how to tell unless I knew their habits well. Of the people I have known well enough (or had a distinct enough personality) to type, I would say one or two were 4s - one of my favourite lecturers I had at Uni was a 4w3 and a friend I met overseas may be a 4w5.

To be fair, in my country 4-like behaviour is in many ways in direct opposition to the national culture, so other 4s might be withholding/disguising those traits. I know I kinda do. The two people I listed above are both foreigners (American and English), so that might tell you something.


EDIT: Make that 3. Just remembered another (American) friend of mine who would have to be a 4w3. Again with the foreigners.

 

[Showbread]

Two for sure. One is my INFP roommate, the other is an ISFP I have known for almost 10 years.

 

[highlander]

There are two that I am pretty sure of IRL. One INFP and one INFJ. Both are quite different.

 

[Noll]

The only one I know in real life is this girl at my school who is POTENTIALLY a 4w5 sp/sx. IxFP for sure. You can see why we'd get along fine. Before all this I don't think I ever knew any 4s. All of them were 6s, 7s and one of them 9w8. Maybe on a daily basis I see a bunch of 4s, I think they're harder to detect than you'd think. Due to the stereotypes and all, and most people not really knowing what a healthy 4 looks like. Apparently healthy E4 teenagers exist.

 

[EJCC]

Less than five? Most I knew from the forum first, one might be a 9 (94x instead of 49x).

 

[hjgbujhghg]

none? I don't even know any NFPs, at least I've never recognized one, I know some ENFJs though.... 4s are rare, I know a lot of 7s and 6s, some 3s and 2s and maybe one or two 5s.

 

[brainheart]

this is making me wonder if people who know me irl would even type me as a 4 if they knew about enneagram. hmmmm.

I think most people would type me as a 5w4, 549 tritype.

I don't think 4s look like how people think they look.

I agree. I think David Fauvre is a perfect example of this. I've seen people say there's no way he's a sexual 468 but I see no reason why not. Sexual fours, especially if they are INFP 4w5s, are not as externally crazy/flamboyant as people (non fours especially) make them out to be.

And the two fours that I know for sure are fours is because I know extremely personal things about them/ how their minds work, and because one of them knows all about personality theory.

Apparently healthy E4 teenagers exist.

I'd say I was at my healthiest as a teenager.

 

[Redbone]

I don't "look" like a 4 either (not even to myself...it took me quite some time to figure it out!). From the outside, I probably give out 5, 7, and 8 vibes.

I think that 4s have a way of being that fits but kinda sidesteps descriptions and if you're looking to see if your 4 matches, you might come up with a miss.

 

[small.wonder]

Yeah, good points about the way 4's look (or don't look) all around. I'm not sure I really take appearance into consideration specifically, though I do see similarities between myself and the 4's I know-- not traits really, but expressions, attention to aesthetics, and the way we communicate with others and talk. I think determining the type of a person is pretty simple by process of elimination if you interact with or observe that person enough, but confirmation of that can certainly only be had via the individual.

Most people have pegged me as 5, 4, 1 or 8.

 

[Flâneuse]

Just one right now (my 4w5 mom), but I think I've known at least two more in the past.

 

[grey_beard]

I mistook a 9 for a 4.

 

[Kullervo]

I mistook a 9 for a 4.

I posted a link about that in another thread.

People who type 4s put way too much weight on the stereotypical descriptions, and not enough on the basics (the 4's core fears/desires, (dis)integration and feedback loops). I believe a couple of INFPs here, even, are mistyped p6w7s and 9w1s, but I am of course relying on forum personas which don't always correspond to reality. Basically...I won't push it.

Re OP's question, I don't have any 4s in my day to day life, but if I did, I actually doubt that we'd get on well.

 

[grey_beard]

I posted a link about that.

The following, right?

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/enneagram/68869-am-4-9-a-post2393170.html#post2393170

(Less than two minues on the clock since reading your poat)

 

[Kullervo]

The following, right?

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/enneagram/68869-am-4-9-a-post2393170.html#post2393170

(Less than two minues on the clock since reading your poat)

Yes.

 

[senza tema]

this is making me wonder if people who know me irl would even type me as a 4 if they knew about enneagram. hmmmm.

Same. I would ask if the people who know me irl gave a shit about typology but they don't, so oh well.

 

[Raffaella]

Only one, my brother-in-law's sister is an INFJ e4, I love her because she's one of the few people I know that appreciate creativity.

 

[Animal]

I am a 4.
I dated another 4.
I had a friend in college who I'm sure was a 4.

Two other girls - maybe 4s. Not 100% sure.



that's 3 definite 4s irl (I have met myself)
and two highly probable 4s.

 

[Cloud of Thunder]

I posted a link about that in another thread.


Re OP's question, I don't have any 4s in my day to day life, but if I did, I actually doubt that we'd get on well.

Why do you say that?

 

[Kullervo]

Why do you say that?

A lot of 4s seem to be INFPs; 9 fixed and very strong Feelers.

I am quite different - cold, harsh and bound to offend your delicate sensibilities.

I am also prone to envy, and can become very defensive of anything I consider to be part of my identity. My apologies for being vague here, but I'd rather not get into specifics.

 

[Cloud of Thunder]

A lot of 4s seem to be INFPs; 9 fixed and very strong Feelers.

I am quite different - cold, harsh and bound to offend your delicate sensibilities.

I am also prone to envy, and can become very defensive of anything I consider to be part of my identity. My apologies for being vague here, but I'd rather not get into specifics.

I understand. I don't have "delicate" sensibilities. In fact, that's partly the reason why I have a hard time embracing 4. There's a kind of dandyism to how the type manifests among people that makes me cringe.