I'm in the middle of a few too many type-me threads at the moment, so I won't be able to refresh my memory on this one and do any detailed follow-up for at least a few days — although it's on my to-do list (and I'm a J), but just quickly for today...
As you probably gathered, your Big Five scores correspond to Calm INTJ — so they match your official MBTI scores — which I'll note, for the record, were:
E 3 18 I
S 3 23 N
T 15 9 F
J 17 5 P
I still think you're an F. Here's what Isabel Myers said about the right frame of mind for taking the MBTI:
I often describe the MBTI preferences — at least in terms of many of their aspects — as "temperament tugs." In cases where you're conflicted and one side of the conflict is more the "gut level" or "natural inclination" you and the other side is a more rational/calculating side of you that, to some degree, wants to rein in (or thinks you
should rein in) your more natural inclinations for the sake of external results or for any other reason, your MBTI preference is more likely to correspond to the "natural inclination."
So I'd say you should view the fact that your gut inclines you to "over-give of [your] time to others" — and to what you view as an "unhealthy" extent, no less — as evidence (and pretty strong evidence at that) of an F preference that you're doing your best to rein in as an act of going-against-your-grain will power. You may recall that I talked earlier in the thread about INFJs being somewhat prone to be martyrs, and how that fits in with the fact that they're the closest cousins (among the N's) to the ISFJs, who are the types typically characterized as having the strongest core service-to-others streak — to the point of being generous-to-a-fault if they don't learn to, as you say, "guard boundaries."
And it sounds like you're saying that, if you'd answered the Big Five questions in that spirit, your Accommodation score would have been quite a lot higher; and I'm guessing your MBTI T/F score would have been F (or significantly closer to F) if you'd answered the T/F questions — which you acknowledge you "agonized over" in any case — in that spirit.
In four years of participating in type-me threads at INTJforum, I've often noted that I think it's not uncommon for INFs to test as INTs, at least partly because many of the F choices on typical MBTI tests (including the official test) are choices that are more likely to appeal to SFs and EFs than INFs — and not only do I think that's more true of INFJs than INFPs, I think it's probably even more true of female INFJs than male INFJs. I think male F's are often aware that they differ from cultural male stereotypes in ways that make them more "F-ish" than average whereas, by contrast, I think INFJ women who compare themselves to cultural female stereotypes (not to mention the majority of actual women) are reasonably likely to think of themselves as more T-ish than those "feeler" women (EFs, SFs and, especially, ESFs). In any case, it's certainly been my experience that it's considerably more common for an INFJ (male
or female) to mistype as INTJ (and later conclude they're really INFJ) than
vice versa. I think that, in some ways, it's fair to say that INFJs are both the "least F" of the F's and the "least NF" of the NFs.
So anyway, I'm still at INFJ for now, but I plan to review your posts and give you some more input at some point in the (hopefully) not too distant future.