[sx] You know you're an sx-dom when...

[WALMART]

Your insides feel hollow when you're alone, in a relative way.

 

[The Great One]

Look, as an sx-dom myself, I very much am focused on who is packing the juice in a place. Who catches my eye, attracts my attention, in whatever way - be it sexual or otherwise. Who is intriguing, who is...different and who is drawing me in. Meanwhile, I'm very aware of how others respond to me, and I know instinctively when I'm being hunted in a similar fashion - that is, if I'm not distracted elsewhere. The push and pulll between me and others, the cat and mouse games that can come with it, the need for connecting with others and figuring out what makes them tick and what makes them special, it is all part of what makes me sx-dom.

I do this in all my relationships. In fact, this is just how I relate to others. Sure, I'll use it to hunt sexually for what I need, and even for what I want romantically, but I'll also use it in friendships, in inspiring others, in persuading them, in navigating society, hell, I even use it to problem solve, as I usually know *someone* who can help me out if I don't know how to figure it out myself, and I tend to be able to find out what they need to be motivated to help me out here.

The intensity they talk about when it comes to sx-doms comes from that obsession with 'connection'. The need to merge with others, to look inside other people's skull and see what makes them tick, for whatever reason. I personally enjoy the feeling of merging, but Ive known NT sx-doms who just want to find out what's inside someone elses head and what makes them good at what they do - possibly so they can acquire the skill themselves. It is an intense one-on-one feeling which often is characterised by that push and pull between the sx-dom and those around him/her, ime.

You might wanna get an sx-sp NT in here though to relate how it feels to them, though

I focus on the "juice of the place as well" and am very aware of the chemistry between myself and others as well. However, I don't do that push-pull shit. That seems to be a sx/so thing and it's UNGODLY ANNOYING! I've been put through it before and you almost want to scream sx/so types for doing this.

 

[The Great One]

[MENTION=5494]Amargith[/MENTION] [MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION]

Did you folks ever see my video? I actually look so/sx in it...

http://youtu.be/FAehUNSPEtE

 

[Amargith]

I focus on the "juice of the place as well" and am very aware of the chemistry between myself and others as well. However, I don't do that push-pull shit. That seems to be a sx/so thing and it's UNGODLY ANNOYING! I've been put through it before and you almost want to scream sx/so types for doing this.

Actually, sx-sp types are worse still

They spend a lot of time pulling someone close, scare themselves shitless due to the proximity, sp kicks in and they run in the other direction. So don't be blaming us dude.

 

[Azure Flame]

When your life motto is PLAY HARD and PLAY HARDER.

-sx/so

 

[The Great One]

Actually, sx-sp types are worse still

They spend a lot of time pulling someone close, scare themselves shitless due to the proximity, sp kicks in and they run in the other direction. So don't be blaming us dude.

I disagree with this information. The sx/sp that I have known have been as hot and cold and as flighty as the sx/so's that I've known.

 

[Amargith]

I disagree with this information. The sx/sp that I have known have been as hot and cold and as flighty as the sx/so's that I've known.

Disagree all you want, at least sx-so aint afraid to get close to people, in fact they *want* to. It is often that intense need for intimacy that scares others. Sx-sp ime fights their own instinct. They want to get close, then when they get close, they spook themselves and need space. I'll fucking stay put once I've decided to get close and executed the manoevre while they tend to bolt and come back till they figure it out. Granted, once they do decide, they do not look back, even when they should. I do my push and pulling upfront to see whether I wanna actually get up close and personal with the other person and if they are interested in me at all.

Otoh, sx-sps dont always seem aware that they are drifting close to another person, or getting intimate as they just act on instinct, then panic when sp kicks in and wants to protect itself. I personally tend to be highly aware of that happening so I know where it's headed and how it is changing. That is the benefit of so: it makes you aware of your status with the other person, and vice versa.

Pick your poison, I guess.

Edit: at the 3 sx-sps that left me a rep agreeing with my previous post in some fashion or another.

 

[Zarathustra]

[MENTION=5494]Amargith[/MENTION] [MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION]

Did you folks ever see my video? I actually look so/sx in it...

http://youtu.be/FAehUNSPEtE

I was going to say this before, but didn't; might as well now.

I think sx/sp is absurdly far off.

You seem so/sx to me.

 

[Zarathustra]

When your life motto is PLAY HARD and PLAY HARDER.

-sx/so

I think you're mixing your Jungian and Enneagram types into this too much.

 

[Azure Flame]

yeah maybe. I know jack shit about instinctuals.

 

[The Great One]

Disagree all you want, at least sx-so aint afraid to get close to people, in fact they *want* to. It is often that intense need for intimacy that scares others. Sx-sp ime fights their own instinct. They want to get close, then when they get close, they spook themselves and need space. I'll fucking stay put once I've decided to get close and executed the manoevre while they tend to bolt and come back till they figure it out. Granted, once they do decide, they do not look back, even when they should. I do my push and pulling upfront to see whether I wanna actually get up close and personal with the other person and if they are interested in me at all.

Otoh, sx-sps dont always seem aware that they are drifting close to another person, or getting intimate as they just act on instinct, then panic when sp kicks in and wants to protect itself. I personally tend to be highly aware of that happening so I know where it's headed and how it is changing. That is the benefit of so: it makes you aware of your status with the other person, and vice versa.

Pick your poison, I guess.

Edit: at the 3 sx-sps that left me a rep agreeing with my previous post in some fashion or another.

How does the sx/sp panick when sp kicks in? They want to marry a person but are afraid to take it too fast because they fear that the person will later divorce them and take all of their money? I wouldn't know cuz I've never dated a sx/sp. However I've dated quite a few sx/so people and they seem to put you through more tests than the SAT's. Pain in the ass.

I was going to say this before, but didn't; might as well now.

I think sx/sp is absurdly far off.

You seem so/sx to me.

Yeah that's what about 90% of the people that type me say. The others say so/sp. However, about 99% of the people that I chat with say I'm an so dom.

 

[Elfboy]

Actually, sx-sp types are worse still
They spend a lot of time pulling someone close, scare themselves shitless due to the proximity, sp kicks in and they run in the other direction. So don't be blaming us dude.

what were the E types of the Sx/Sp's who agreed with this? cuz I sure as hell don't. I don't think this would apply to Id Sx/Sp's at all (perhaps a phobic 6 or 9 that was INFP, but overall, no)

this sounds more like Sp/Sx if anything

 

[The Great One]

what were the E types of the Sx/Sp's who agreed with this? cuz I sure as hell don't. I don't think this would apply to Id Sx/Sp's at all (perhaps a phobic 6 or 9 that was INFP, but overall, no)

this sounds more like Sp/Sx if anything

It thought that this sounded a bit off to me as well.

 

[Galena]

At a certain degree, won't any instinctual combination start playing hot and cold if they're unhealthy enough? I read somewhere that damaged sx can recoil from intimacy with all the power that they used to seek it with.

 

[Amargith]

what were the E types of the Sx/Sp's who agreed with this? cuz I sure as hell don't. I don't think this would apply to Id Sx/Sp's at all (perhaps a phobic 6 or 9 that was INFP, but overall, no)

this sounds more like Sp/Sx if anything

Actually, sp-sx just keeps you at arms length at all times, until they decide that you're for them, then they move pretty darn fast. Sx-sp comes close, realises its close, runs, comes close, etc. Their sp protectiveness kicks in as a last resort, or so it seems. They have that same aloofness as sp-sx, but they do not start off with it, meaning you trigger it later on, as they still have that urge to bond.
The people who repped me were a mix of extroverts and introverts, fwiw. And I know several others who have the same dynamic. I tend to be a fan of sx-sp and sp-sx, so I keep in mind that they'll buck and break free a couple of times before they decide on me, even when they look like they're good for the moment.

How does the sx/sp panick when sp kicks in? They want to marry a person but are afraid to take it too fast because they fear that the person will later divorce them and take all of their money? I wouldn't know cuz I've never dated a sx/sp. However I've dated quite a few sx/so people and they seem to put you through more tests than the SAT's. Pain in the ass.

I do my push and pulling in the very beginning as part of the 'dance' to get to know you. Sx-sps tend to just go for gold when they see something they like. However, when they suddenly notice its too close for their own comfort, they bolt. They seem to go through this process quite a few times as they get comfortable with that person (and as sx-so, perhaps because I'm rather comfortable with intimacy, it never fully ends, it's a perpetual dance that eventually you get in sync with and has its own dynamic intimacy ime). Once they commit on you though, yes, then they'll go full speed ahead, usually. Also, they're likely to only do this with *one* person, their spouse (at least to that level of intimacy), whereas as an sx-so, I tend to do this with friends as well (clearly not *as* intimate, but intimate enough for others to get spooked occasionally).

 

[Elfboy]

Actually, sp-sx just keeps you at arms length at all times, until they decide that you're for them, then they move pretty darn fast. Sx-sp comes close, realises its close, runs, comes close, etc. Their sp protectiveness kicks in as a last resort, or so it seems. They have that same aloofness as sp-sx, but they do not start off with it, meaning you trigger it later on, as they still have that urge to bond.
The people who repped me were a mix of extroverts and introverts, fwiw. And I know several others who have the same dynamic. I tend to be a fan of sx-sp and sp-sx, so I keep in mind that they'll buck and break free a couple of times before they decide on me, even when they look like they're good for the moment.

even with strong Sp, no Sx dom is naturally afraid of intimacy. their Sp doesn't feel like it needs to "protect" them from moving too fast

 

[Amargith]

even with strong Sp, no Sx dom is naturally afraid of intimacy. their Sp doesn't feel like it needs to "protect" them from moving too fast

I know several sx-sps that say otherwise.


Edit: Time to retreat from this thread. Enjoy yourselves

 

[chickpea]

even with strong Sp, no Sx dom is naturally afraid of intimacy. their Sp doesn't feel like it needs to "protect" them from moving too fast

I don't agree with this.

 

[Elfboy]

I don't agree with this.

perhaps it's a male/female thing. females in general are typically more cautious about sexuality than men are (because, from a biological perspective, they have more to lose)

 

[chickpea]

perhaps it's a male/female thing. females in general are typically more cautious about sexuality than men are (because, from a biological perspective, they have more to lose)

I wasn't equating intimacy with sex. Pretty much everything I've read about sx/sp has mentioned the "push-pull" thing, also that sx-first can manifest the opposite way- as a fear of intimacy.