[NF] NFs: are you boring?

[cafe]

Okay. That's a scary INFJ. :horor: It's got to suck for her, being psycho and boring at the same time.

 

[Meursault]

I like the way Toonia puts things better than you I mean, she challenges me and points out my faults, but she doesn't try to lay all the faults for everything at my damn door!

i don't know either you or toonia and that is really strange response, but it speaks volumes.

cheers

 

[substitute]

i don't know either you or toonia and that is really strange response, but it speaks volumes.

cheers

Hehe sorry, I used the wrong emoticon, I meant the one with the small p like and not the big one!

Look, we got off on the wrong foot - okay, so I'm sorry, I was totally doing the opposite of what I was protesting that NF's should understand I do, which was to speak clearly and without holding back anything, saying what I mean. In that post I made on INTPc I was blatantly in the grip of emotions, handling which is not my strong point, and I was making a rash statement that was basically me trying to get validation really, for the frustration I was feeling at the time. And so I expressed myself badly and I''m to blame for having come across more sure of what I was saying than I really felt.

And then I was doing totally what I was moaning at NF's for doing, which was personalising a helfpully meant comment and perceiving attack where there was none. But only cos it's on a subject that brings a lot of raw stuff up for me. I'm not normally like that.

You're right it's not easy for NT's to say sorry... it comes from being used to being right, so it can bowl you over a bit when suddenly you realise you're not*

Oh, and the arrogance, of course...



*joke, by the way... for clarity!

 

[Haight]

For an ENTP, substitute seems to be a really nice guy.


*makes note*

 

[Totenkindly]

If you can only communicate with maybe 10% - 12% of the population with no problem, then I don't think it's the other 90% with issues. What kind of feedback to you solicit? How do you react when someone says you're not saying what you think you're saying? Do you try to understand why people don't understand you and readjust what you're saying to make it clearer?

Well, if you read the majority of my posts, you'll see that I do do that. I've learned to predict pretty well how someone will respond and so I avoid most of the snafus nowadays. As my preferred style, usually I play by ear now, throwing out ideas in a more general sense and then clarifying when I get questions, rather than in putting lots of time in on the "perfect answer" and having the work be entirely wasted because I lost my audience at some point or miscalculated.

However, I still feel I have every right to simply "bemoan my fate" once in awhile, just so you know where I'm coming from. I'm not suggesting other people are wrong, I'm simply expressing that, yes, personally, I do feel frustrating over this simply because of how I work... but it's certainly not an excuse to not change. As the communicator, I need to do what works for my audience, if I want to be understood.

Once you put something out in the atmosphere, you have very little control over how it's interpreted and that's something that needs to be realized before the communication process begins. No amount of preventive maintenance will stop people from interpreting something as they will. I don't think it's cold reality, as in something that's unwanted, it's a necessary part of reality. Multiple interpretations, even bad ones, make your idea stronger. You could get an idea you've never even thought of out of some alternate interpretation.

Yes, that's one thing I had to learn. Rather than trying to come up with "my" idea and my "solitary" interpretation, I benefit more from the feedback . I love getting surprised. Still, it takes awhile for a solid I to learn this sort of thing and then appreciate it.

You are exactly right. This is why presentation matters and when people denigrate the importance of this, it becomes counterproductive to your own goals. This seems so obvious to me that I don't even think about it that much.

Yep. Well, remember, that's how your personality is slanted. For an INTP who naturally is just seeking to "define the nature of things," it takes a good bit of readjustment to CHANGE and instead focus on communicating the thought to a particular audience.

Not an excuse. Just that it's something you do naturally, while I had to learn it.

 

[MacGuffin]

And here's an NT explaining that Mac is a shit stirring word twister

Who? Me?

 

[digesthisickness]

For an ENTP, substitute seems to be a really nice guy.


*makes note*

that's why i do this when reading his posts...

 

[substitute]

For an ENTP, substitute seems to be a really nice guy.


*makes note*

that's why i do this when reading his posts...

What??

:SaiyanSmilie_anim:

 

[digesthisickness]

What??

:SaiyanSmilie_anim:

 

[MacGuffin]

How many NFs think I believe NFs are boring?

 

[cafe]

How many NFs think I believe NFs are boring?

I don't. If we were boring you wouldn't have so much fun poking us with a stick. It wasn't particularly nice to do it at substitute's expense, though, you know.

 

[substitute]

I don't. If we were boring you wouldn't have so much fun poking us with a stick. It wasn't particularly nice to do it at substitute's expense, though, you know.

Ha! Patchaow!

I don't think they're boring either. When you poke them with sticks. It's just a shame you have to do that to get them to be interesting. That's all I was saying...

 

[htb]

And then I was doing totally what I was moaning at NF's for doing, which was personalising a helfpully meant comment and perceiving attack where there was none.

You draw fire. It's the roundel.

 

[substitute]

You draw fire. It's the roundel.

Shit, you're right... I guess I shouldn't have been listening to The Who when I signed up...

I did actually suspect from the start that Mac was shit stirring to needle the NF's into showing their interesting sides... you'll find on INTPc that the comment I made just after he set this thread up says as much

No hard feelings on my part. None at all. I stand in awe of such scheming. It's almost as good as I could do if I had a mind to it...

 

[htb]

No offense taken. This is some pretty sinuous stuff.

On MacGuffin, I agree. He's crafty for a lumberjack.

 

[niffer]

I could never judge myself if I was boring or not, but everyone I meet, even if it's for the first five minutes says I'm fun, or funny, or charming. People seem to laugh at every other thing that comes out of my mouth, and they regularly say to me that I'm the weirdest person they know. They also pinch my face a lot, and say I'm cute or whatever..even if they are shorter than me. People like to amuse themselves by squeezing my arm flesh too. Now that I think about it, I realize that all these years I have been amusing people in various ways, with the everyday stupid things I do/comments I make on top of other qualities that I seem to just *have*.

I don't really think anyone is boring..they can only BE boring. When people are being boring I tell them that I am finding them boring, and they stop. Sometimes they don't. I'm okay with being bored though.

Actually, it DOES bother me in class sometimes, because I'm usually the only girl to put my hand up and contribute to class discussions. Sometimes I even feel un-feminine because of this. I lot of characteristics I have make me feel un-feminine, because class clowns and class intellectuals are usually male.

I usually find NT's more interesting than NF's...dunno why.

 

[Brendan]

In discussing non-INTPs over at that other board, one poster commented that he found NFs kind of dull.

I can see why this statement is made, some NFs will never do anything that rocks the boat or take a controversial position to avoid offending others.

I don't agree with this, I find other aspects of NFs very interesting.

But I wonder, do you view yourself as boring? Non-NFs, do you find NFs boring?

When I'm around people I know, I'm talkative and open and not boring.

When I'm around people I don't know well, I'm quiet and uncomfortable.

Anyway, no, I find that people can be boring reguardless of type. Take these two ENTP's I know for instance.

 

[Alienclock]

Yes, I am boring.

(someone did not say that already did they? snarf!$#$^%)

How many NFs think I believe NFs are boring?

I think you believe you are interesting. (oops, apology time, just kidding, I hope I have offended no-one, I mean, I hope my apology is not offensive either oops...)

I tend not to find myself interesting, but others interesting, that said, I am never bored, however, if people who interact with me find me boring, then I find that they are idiots, for subjecting themselves to my company.

Also, a bit of all types have the dullness bug. So, in other words, humbug.

 

[Littlelostnf]

Boring
Heck no!
There are boring people of every type and age.
If I were me...I hang around me all the time...wait...what!?

 

[Crabapple]

I'm not boring. Also, I am rarely bored. Nonetheless, I find that my life has been full of quite enough excitement, and I like stillness and solitude at times.

I have a rich inner life.

Others seem to find me mysterious, dark, weird, intense and other such stuff. All I gotta say about that is ?????

I also have a godawful temper, which adds pepper to the pot.