Question for ENTP's

[Scriddle21]

Hey there, I'm an INFJ writer looking to discover more about ENTP's. One of my characters is an ENTP and I'm having a hard time narrowing down how he might react to certain situations because of all the possibilities. So my first question is: How might an ENTP react if he found out the woman he was married to (arranged marriage) and in love with, was in love with another man? The other man is dead at the point he discovers this, so mostly it's a question of whether he'd be hurt, angry, sad, or none of the above. Would he withdraw from her, would he comfort her, or just go on the way they had been? Would he ever feel comfortable confessing the way he felt about her?

Thanks in advance for taking the time to respond.

 

[rdolanjr]

How might an ENTP react if he found out the woman he was married to (arranged marriage) and in love with, was in love with another man?

My instinct would be to do the 'right' thing. The marriage was arranged so I am assuming culturally or personally it is important it go on. (Are there kids? Might make a difference.) Therefore, I would be hurt but would be looking for a way to woo her.

Would he withdraw from her, would he comfort her, or just go on the way they had been?

Interesting that the alternative to withdrawing is comforting. I'm assuming I am not supposed to know about her being in love with another man. In that case, would I withdraw? Probably, a little, at first. However, since I am in love with her I would return to trying to woo her to me.

If I know of the other man and her feelings and I've decided to stay with her for cultural/personal reasons - I would've already reconciled myself to this fact and so I would comfort her in the hope that she might someday come to see me as worthy of her love.

Would he ever feel comfortable confessing the way he felt about her?

Yes. Not telling her will breed resentment and kill the marriage. Telling her - depending on her reaction - could make or kill the marriage. Either is better than resentment.

Thanks in advance for taking the time to respond.

You're welcome. Funny enough. This question popped up in a search I was doing for a psych class on my ENTP result. Answering your questions was better than doing my homework.

Cheers!

 

[ZNP-TBA]

Hey there, I'm an INFJ writer looking to discover more about ENTP's. One of my characters is an ENTP and I'm having a hard time narrowing down how he might react to certain situations because of all the possibilities. So my first question is: How might an ENTP react if he found out the woman he was married to (arranged marriage) and in love with, was in love with another man? The other man is dead at the point he discovers this, so mostly it's a question of whether he'd be hurt, angry, sad, or none of the above. Would he withdraw from her, would he comfort her, or just go on the way they had been? Would he ever feel comfortable confessing the way he felt about her?

Thanks in advance for taking the time to respond.

Why is he in love with her? Reason this is relevant is because certain things tend to attract ENTPs over others and depending on the things then the stronger the bond. The ENTP will probably make dark humor of the situation, I mean that is kind of a shitastic situation where the 'other guy' ends up dead. The ENTP would just want rationale as to why she loved the other guy more. A semi-reasonable explanation can be enough. ENTPs have a notorious ability to move on from things and will find someone else or something else of interest in relatively short time. The Fe component in me would want to know how she feels about me, the Ne component will keep up the optimism and not make hasty assumptions. Ti will reason whether any type of relationship with her could be consistent. It's hard to say but in general we aren't the type of people to be love struck or hurt from love for very long. She isn't the world, only part of it.

 

[Bush]

Arranged marriage? They'd be married on paper, but not in spirit. It'd be a formality. So, the marriage itself wouldn't be a factor.

How close are the two of them? Does she love him back? Have they become close friends? I'm guessing that they're good friends, the love is unrequited, and his love is focused squarely on her. ... at least at that point in the story.

The other dude's dead, so I doubt he'd be devastated. There might be some fleeting anger out of jealousy, but it'd pass. I couldn't see anger lasting very long because the two of them weren't established. But by and large that wouldn't really be a factor, either.

If she was a close friend, in the end he'd treat her the way that anyone else would treat a friend who's going through a rough situation -- providing comfort, showing some sympathy, and simply being there. If he were sad and devastated, it'd be because this thing happened to her.

From another, more selfish (though maybe subconscious) perspective, he'd probably also be optimistic -- what she went through with a guy she loved doesn't rule out the possibility of the two of them winding up together. At least subconsciously, he'd see it as an opportunity. It's a new thing that just now came up and that he can pursue.

He wouldn't mind dropping whatever path he's taking in order to go for it. He'd seize that opportunity. .. but not outwardly confessing it right then and there, because that wouldn't go over very well and it's not what she needs anyway. So, he may confess later on when the pot's stopped boiling. His instinct wouldn't be to drop it, to drop her, or to continue on as normal.

 

[Hitoshi-San]

At first I'd be like "holy fuck" and probably hurt that she lied to me about it but also a bit in denial. So I'd more than likely have to cool off first before I tried to approach her about it otherwise I would turn into some sort of a maniac and either flip over the situation and start a fight or make it seem like it's nothing. More importantly, at first, when I'd still be shocked, I wouldn't know how to articulate myself.

But if the guy was already dead, I'd comfort her as if he was an ordinary person in her life, and not one that she was in love with, maybe because she'd dwell on it more then if she had to think about how in love with him and not me she was. And then try to move on and make things better in our relationship once she's not feeling emotions all over the damn place anymore and everything can be rationally and throughly discussed.

 

[1487610420]

How long have they been married? How old are they? Who is he? Who is she? Why/how/how long does he love her ie if it started from arranged marriage?

Too many loose variables/insufficient data.

The presented scope of options is painfully insufficiently granular.

 

[classic-misdirection]

We will not comfort her. Aside from that, it's hard to know without more information. While we live in the big picture, we subconsciously absorb an incredible amounts of information and process it into it for relevance. This is part of why we hate details: to some extent it's like trying to breath and ends up disrupting the analytical process.
Keep this in mind the whole time you're writing about an ENTPs is that we are spontaneous enough to surprise ourselfs mid-action. We haven't mentally prepared for this or any such event, nor to even fall in love with this head case. Any we're not responding in order to help us achieve a goal or plan. We're more in the moment than is ttypical of us.
But here is the real issue that you'll have to clear: how did we fall in love with her? First, there's the whole thing with ENTPs being a bit cold and detatched below the charm. That's not an exaggeration - and our moving-the-fuck-on game is epic. (ask my ex wife) Second the marriage is arranged, and third, this chick is in love with a dead guy. She's is the embodiment of an invasive tradition that limits out freedom. She'salso more trouble than she's worth, and she's being emotionally self-indulgent and irrational.... I'm pretty sure she didn't stand a chance....
If we are in love with her, I can't wait to read how! Seriously, that chapter will have to be like 50 Shades of Some Shit i Didn't Even Know Existed.

 

[Scriddle21]

"My instinct would be to do the 'right' thing. The marriage was arranged so I am assuming culturally or personally it is important it go on. (Are there kids? Might make a difference.) Therefore, I would be hurt but would be looking for a way to woo her."

No kids as of this point in the story. So that's not there to complicate things. The couple are really good friends before the marriage so I think that's the main complication. Or maybe it's an asset?
As of right now, I'm planning on having her confess the love for the other man to him, he is her best friend after all. She thinks the marriage is purely for political reasons, as well as for the reason that she annoys him less than many of his other options. She confesses to him to explain why she may seem distant, not thinking that it would hurt him at all.

"Interesting that the alternative to withdrawing is comforting. I'm assuming I am not supposed to know about her being in love with another man. In that case, would I withdraw? Probably, a little, at first. However, since I am in love with her I would return to trying to woo her to me."

So you would withdraw at first, because of personal pain or mainly to regroup and plan your new line of attack(attack in this case being wooing her)?
Which brings up the question, how does an ENTP generally woo a girl?

"You're welcome. Funny enough. This question popped up in a search I was doing for a psych class on my ENTP result. Answering your questions was better than doing my homework."

Seriously, this answer has already helped so much. I love your responses, it really feels like the character I'm discussing. I think I see why people say that INFJ's and ENTP's really get along.

 

[Scriddle21]

Why is he in love with her? Reason this is relevant is because certain things tend to attract ENTPs over others and depending on the things then the stronger the bond. The ENTP will probably make dark humor of the situation, I mean that is kind of a shitastic situation where the 'other guy' ends up dead. The ENTP would just want rationale as to why she loved the other guy more.

I believe he is in love with her because of her intelligence, her fiery spirit, and because she's adventurous. She doesn't blindly follow tradition and she doesn't kowtow to him simply because of his position. She challenges him, making him prove his point rather than simply taking him at his word. Finally, because he can trust her more than probably anyone else in his life.
As to loving the other guy more, as far as she knows their relationship is platonic up until the point they get married. The marriage is mostly for political reasons. She loved the other guy, he died, then she married her friend because it was her best option.

 

[EcK]

Hey there, I'm an INFJ writer looking to discover more about ENTP's. One of my characters is an ENTP and I'm having a hard time narrowing down how he might react to certain situations because of all the possibilities. So my first question is: How might an ENTP react if he found out the woman he was married to (arranged marriage) and in love with, was in love with another man? The other man is dead at the point he discovers this, so mostly it's a question of whether he'd be hurt, angry, sad, or none of the above. Would he withdraw from her, would he comfort her, or just go on the way they had been? Would he ever feel comfortable confessing the way he felt about her?

Thanks in advance for taking the time to respond.

Ok first off, I gotta ask, is it a bollywood drama you're writing?

So in other words, will there be singing & dancing ?

 

[EcK]

Hey there, I'm an INFJ writer looking to discover more about ENTP's. One of my characters is an ENTP and I'm having a hard time narrowing down how he might react to certain situations because of all the possibilities. So my first question is: How might an ENTP react if he found out the woman he was married to (arranged marriage) and in love with, was in love with another man? The other man is dead at the point he discovers this, so mostly it's a question of whether he'd be hurt, angry, sad, or none of the above. Would he withdraw from her, would he comfort her, or just go on the way they had been? Would he ever feel comfortable confessing the way he felt about her?

Thanks in advance for taking the time to respond.

Also, does the dead ex-lover comes back to life or somehow interacts with the woman?

is this a bollywood remake of :

It is, isn't it?!

 

[Scriddle21]

Ok first off, I gotta ask, is it a bollywood drama you're writing?

So in other words, will there be singing & dancing ?

Ha ha no, it's not. Although that would be fun. It's set in medieval Ireland during the time of Brian Boru. Most of the book is going to be about the Irish fighting the Vikings that invaded their land.
So no, the other guy does not come back to life.

 

[small.wonder]

Ha ha no, it's not. Although that would be fun. It's set in medieval Ireland during the time of Brian Boru. Most of the book is going to be about the Irish fighting the Vikings that invaded their land.
So no, the other guy does not come back to life.

Um, I would love to read this (my heritage is very related)! Details?

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

This is a fun scenario. Let me tell first I'm undecided about ENTJ or ENTP profile.

In the realm of fiction, my character would probably first move assets away from my wife to my control. Like, we had an apartment as spouse's property and a business in my property, I would move some things to my business. If there's some legal stuff behind it, I would probably make it so that the lawyers would have the easiest time convincing the judge I owned all of that stuff in the first place.

That's in the realm of fiction. I'm not answering what it would be in the realm of reality.

 

[Scriddle21]

Um, I would love to read this (my heritage is very related)! Details?

I am still in the writing process, but I can let you know when it's finished.

 

[classic-misdirection]

This is a fun scenario. Let me tell first I'm undecided about ENTJ or ENTP profile.

In the realm of fiction, my character would probably first move assets away from my wife to my control. Like, we had an apartment as spouse's property and a business in my property, I would move some things to my business. If there's some legal stuff behind it, I would probably make it so that the lawyers would have the easiest time convincing the judge I owned all of that stuff in the first place.

That's in the realm of fiction. I'm not answering what it would be in the realm of reality.

My marriage was much different than the one in question, but yeah, my lawyer freaking loved me. I'm his only (self defined) partner-client.