[Traditional Enneagram] What's so hard about being your type?

[Rambling]

I liked that but the smiley at the end made it seem sarcastical. That made me confused

Err...I do really like myself. But I also suspect myself of arrogance, hence the sarcastic crying face - see?

 

[entropie]

Err...I do really like myself. But I also suspect myself of arrogance, hence the sarcastic crying face - see?

no, thats total bullshit thinking

 

[Rambling]

no, thats total bullshit thinking

Why?

 

[entropie]

Why?

Because if you are arrogant, that is your personality and that is not bad. I am arrogant aswell and do not make people suffer from it, its all about how you sell it. You can be asshole arrogant or just arrogant but sweet somehow. The main problem is when you start to think about how others react to you. You will never be a person.

 

[Yama]

I don't know how to be confident or stand up for myself--or rather, I do know how, but I choose not to do so because I'd rather suffer in silence and harbor an ever-growing internal sense of bitterness than approach my problems like one would rip off a band-aid.

1 wing or probably my OCPD: "I don't know how to stop." That's what I told my sister when she told me I was too hard on myself a few weeks ago. I don't know how to not put all of my effort into whatever I'm doing. I literally don't know how. How does someone not turn in all their assignments, not always do their best on them, or not always try to achieve perfection in their work? How can people stop and say "It's good enough" if it isn't perfect??

And what sucks about that is, since I'm always putting in my best, when my best isn't enough, it's crushing. I put a ton of work into an assignment last week, and only got an 83%. It killed me. Because I literally can't do better than that--I was already doing my absolute best.

Don't even get my started on my 6 fix. It adds fuel to the fire.

Other than all that, I like being a 9.

 

[Coriolis]

Err...I do really like myself. But I also suspect myself of arrogance, hence the sarcastic crying face - see?

It's not arrogance if it is accurate.

 

[Thalassa]

I think the new age term "give your power away" is appropriate for E6. Being afraid to be wrong or lose approval and acting like scrappy doo isn't "powerful" unless it comes from a calm center. 6s have the wrong idea about power, so have to learn to own it within. And my 7 wing likes to run from my problems.

 

[Kasper]

I feel all bar one of the negative aspects of E9 are things I can work on, and either replace with positive/productive traits, or minimise the impact through active awareness, the most frequent downfall with E9 is how unaware we can be, just naming the bad stuff provides the main tool required to make changes.

The one thing I have not been able to find a way around is my relationship with Holy Love.

So besides that, or rather, because of that, the hardest part for me relates to my leading instinct, knowing what is healthy and would fulfil my needs, and conversely what is detrimental to me, yet still taking that latter path because the former feels unattainable.

To be a Social Dom 9 means seeking a feeling of belonging in groups, to merge with them in some way and feel like you matter there, being an Extrovert on top of that means it isn't even draining for me, I love people, they're shiny! and yet I can never find and maintain that feeling of belonging, my inner voice 'reminds' me that I'm not valuable, no one would miss me if I weren't there, maybe they'd even prefer I wasn't, any slight is magnified as proof of that line of thinking. Even positive signs of acceptance can be turned around into something hurtful; the people who enjoy me do so because of how I influence them to feel, or can help them deal with problems, take care of their needs, not because of who I am. So I keep any group that comes into my life at arms length, if I don't allow myself to need them, I won't feel how much I don't belong so hard. This means my So needs are never satisfied.

the fact that wild horses could not drag an admission of weakness or any possible vulnerability from me in real life and it's pretty fucking hard to do even here where I can't see you guys?

...

and inability to express negative emotions other than occasional anger in the presence of others and if you've ever seen me tear up I swear to god I'll rip out your tongue if you even mention it to ME, let alone to anyone else, so back out of the room slowly and erase your mind

I have control issues it appears

My w8 is mighty *flexes wing* I can relate to that, even if they're not my core issues.

 

[Riva]

Can't concentrate at all. Urghhh..

 

[Thalassa]

Over thinking, under relaxing

Which leads to other things that I miss out on...sensations, emotions, understanding (ironically)

Also self righteous anger

I think the self righteous anger in 6s is fueled by team allegiance and loyalty to individuals or groups, more than an idea of moral perfection. Like I used to get really angry about defending Lana del Rey, and I think people thought it was very strange (on the Internet, not so much in person) and I realized it was because I identified with her, and her music really gave me a feeling of security and belonging that a lot of her fans seem to feel (she understands me! So she attracts 4s and 4 heart fixes)...her music actually helped me cope with difficult things in my life, and everyone was so accepting at her concert it's practically like a cult or something...so I defended her very fiercely, like she as a musician was one of my values or something.I realized 6s are so common, but they can probably look crazy to other people, I wonder if this is what drives people who beat people up over sports teams, I don't understand that, but I wonder if they're also 6s.

 

[ARET45]

Being a 4 is hard. 4s tend to whine a lot, often have a negative outlook and feel like life cursed them with a bad circumstance. The 4 is probably the type most likely to feel sorry for themselves. As frustration types, 4s are often critical, disappointed with reality.

 

[Rambling]

It's not arrogance if it is accurate.

Well, okay, there's nothing difficult about being my type, then.



I guess the main difficulty of being a Five is the hesitancy, the advantage being the ability to see the whole picture. The Four disadvantage is the inability to see my actual self, with the advantage of being very able to appreciate the beauty of others. And the Eight has the disadvantage of distancing from me those with whom I am trying to be vulnerable, while the advantage of being able to get stuff done and reach goals effectively.

Mostly I rub along with myself internally quite well... A new thread on the advantages of one's type would suit my personality better, I think.

 

[Evo]

I think the self righteous anger in 6s is fueled by team allegiance and loyalty to individuals or groups, more than an idea of moral perfection. Like I used to get really angry about defending Lana del Rey, and I think people thought it was very strange (on the Internet, not so much in person) and I realized it was because I identified with her, and her music really gave me a feeling of security and belonging that a lot of her fans seem to feel (she understands me! So she attracts 4s and 4 heart fixes)...her music actually helped me cope with difficult things in my life, and everyone was so accepting at her concert it's practically like a cult or something...so I defended her very fiercely, like she as a musician was one of my values or something.I realized 6s are so common, but they can probably look crazy to other people, I wonder if this is what drives people who beat people up over sports teams, I don't understand that, but I wonder if they're also 6s.

(I remember you defending her, and I thought your anger was coming from feeling slighted or hurt)

It's funny, because I relate to what you're saying. My mind is constantly sorting sides unconsciously. And when I'm on a side, and another is not, that can be anger inducing, usually because its covering up hurt or something.

But I was actually thinking about the anger I feel from my 1 fix too (or at least I thought it was ?) I can often get angry and build resentment if someone else isn't putting in as much energy into something as i am. This can happen at work a lot. Its a bad habit of mine.

Identifying with things is the cause though for sure. For either.

 

[Thalassa]

(I remember you defending her, and I thought your anger was coming from feeling slighted or hurt)

It's funny, because I relate to what you're saying. My mind is constantly sorting sides unconsciously. And when I'm on a side, and another is not, that can be anger inducing, usually because its covering up hurt or something.

But I was actually thinking about the anger I feel from my 1 fix too (or at least I thought it was ?) I can often get angry and build resentment if someone else isn't putting in as much energy into something as i am. This can happen at work a lot. Its a bad habit of mine.

Identifying with things is the cause though for sure. For either.

Yes well in one case my anger was specifically from feeling slighted by someone who was openly trolling me and calling me a "Stan" later reporting me and acting like she was the victim when I called her out on her bullshit. But that's not the only time I've defended LDR ferociously, and I later noticed that there was a trend on Twitter and Pinterist of other people to do the same, actually using the term Team Lana.

 

[Yama]

Oh I got another one.

I need to find my chill. But... I can't find my chill. So I trick myself into thinking I have. Endless loop.

Kinda like that one meme.

 

[chickpea]

Yes well in one case my anger was specifically from feeling slighted by someone who was openly trolling me and calling me a "Stan" later reporting me and acting like she was the victim when I called her out on her bullshit. But that's not the only time I've defended LDR ferociously, and I later noticed that there was a trend on Twitter and Pinterist of other people to do the same, actually using the term Team Lana.

stan is a term commonly used by fans of different artists to describe themselves. you also failed to mention that you continued to send me insults via rep months after this interaction.