ISFJs - Fair enough. We don't have much to identify on usually, but since I've learned to be respectful of them they typically do the same for me. I've got a guitarist in one band who's ISFJ and his Si-driven near-perfect pitch for single notes is pretty amazing. Predictable and stable, won't pull any punches and that's cool in most contexts. My boss at one job is an ISFJ, and he can get a little pissy at times when stressed but generally he's fine.
Relationship quality 5/10
ESFJs - Occasional arguments when one of us does something that slightly offends the other, usually Fe/Ti clashes. Other than that, we seem to avoid each other when not involved in some similar activity where an external goal or group activity gives us something to talk about. My mom is an ESFJ and we had a lot of issues when I was younger, but these days I understand her value system and really appreciate her a lot more.
Relationship quality 5/10
ISTJs - Hmmm, had a couple of issues on occasion, usually over fairly trivial stuff about minor details, haha. Anyway though, most of the time they're just fine; I like that ISTJs these days are more cynical and less tradition-driven because so much more information is readily available now. My old boss at a pizza store was ISTJ and, while he didn't joke around or socialize much at all, he was very consistent and able to handle work-related problems very impersonally and effectively. (I remember being particularly impressed with how sound his judgment was in one particularly nasty disagreement between a young female ESTJ coworker and myself.)
Relationship quality 4/10
ESTJs - Oh boy. I'm trying hard, I really am. I've mentioned my overbearing ESTJ older sister a number of times and it's tough, but at the same time I had a girlfriend in high school whose sharp wit I absolutely loved and only years later did I realize she was an ESTJ as well. These types are very polarizing--the aforementioned ESTJ coworker and I actually had a great relationship at first...which later turned absolutely sour. If you can make them laugh and get on their good side, they give you waaaay more leeway, but if they don't like you, they make you very aware of it. Typically the hardest type for me to get along with, but slowly improving.
Relationship quality 3/10
ISFPs - I really enjoy these people, though if I spend too much time with them we just run out of things to do together when the obvious common interests in artistry and debauchery get old. I went on a couple dates with a ISFP girl recently that ended up just fizzling out because, while there was great surface chemistry, we didn't really share any passions. Nonetheless I have a very positive image of most of the ISFPs I know, and I think it's amazing how they manage to get through life living almost entirely on impulse.
Relationship quality 7/10
ESFPs - For the most part I love them because Se dominance really makes the P characteristics show, and I'm a really big P. I'm kind of particularly attached because I happen to really like the ones I know, but if they get a bad first impression of you they seem to have a lot of difficulty letting it go. Other than that though, they treat everyone like friends until given a reason not to, and that's cool. You can even get them to pay attention to certain iNtuitive concepts if you keep drilling the point long enough and phrase it the right way, at least in my experience. Oh and of course they're absolutely amazing in bed.
Relationship quality 7/10
ISTPs - Either very impressive or very stupid. The stupid ones do things like get caught racing at 90mph while drunk and carrying a ounce of coke in their pocket--their short-sightedness can be astounding. The smart ones, however, blow me away with the unique combination of calm, logical Ti dominance (in this way they look like INTPs) and secondary Se's flexible, real world pragmatism. They always destroy you at anything involving hand-eye coordination, and they can fix anything just by fucking with it. I particularly enjoy ISTP women for their non-judgmental attitude and tough skin; they're not easily offended at all (that's a big deal for me!) and sometimes it's comforting to know that they're not reading ten levels into everything I say for the sake of competitive mind games like INTPs. (Which is fun in its own right, but gets exhausting.)
Relationship quality 7/10
ESTPs - Ehhh, amazing in certain contexts, otherwise a little blunt and hard-headed. It's cool if I have an ESTP on my side trying to convince someone of something, or if I want to go out and have a good time at the best places in town, etc. It's just that I don't have as much use for that as often. When you're forced to work with them, they'll become unreasonable if you do anything to threaten their Se dominance of the immediate situation, and that's kind of annoying. Intoxicated ESTP women are adorable when they like you, but quite a pain in the ass when they don't. I like that they play the who-can-burn-the-other jabbing game, except without the subtlety that ENTs use so it actually becomes endearing in its childlike quality--but the spirit is there. Ahh, ESTPs.
Relationship quality 5/10
INFJs - In a way they bug me because they're one of two types (the other being INTJ, the other Ni dominant) that I frequently find myself not fully grasping their thought patterns, yet still recognizing the value in their conclusions. Ni doms are a mystery to me, and the F variety is especially alluring because they can teach me so much about two functions that, at this point in my life, I am very interested in improving for strategic value (Ni and Fe.) This one guy at work is an INFJ with brilliantly developed Fe, so at first his Ni filtering through these interpersonal skills made him appear both extroverted and extremely intuitive, so I labeled him as an ENxP. Only after finally discussing typology with him and analyzing his thought processes together did we arrive at INFJ, and he consistently confounds me with his ability to remain fundamentally impersonal in his evaluation of a situation
while still appearing outwardly personal to the other people involved. Anyway, on the down side, they're annoying when they get too attached to a particular moral ideal and won't let it go, or when they try to over-intuit my feelings like NFPs, but as an Ne I can't help but love them because there's so much under the surface that makes me more and more curious to know them better.
I feel that INFJs come as close to being an NT as possible without being one, and that ENTPs do the same with NFs...hence the connection. Relationship quality 8/10
ENFJs - They're cool and it's nice to hang out with them and catch up on the million different things they have going on every now and again, but often I just find myself wishing I could talk to their Ni more and that Fe would go take a break for a bit. Once we finish the social graces and the updates on our lives, the conversation often trails off. As an N dominant type myself, I'm just way more interested in the Ni, so I keep wishing they'd just be INFJs, haha. Seriously though, their charisma is absolutely amazing and I find myself being very careful not to tread on dominant Fe, lest they use their powerful abilities to turn other people against me. If I do offend one, I find that it's pretty difficult for me to rectify because I try to resolve most disagreements in Ti terms, and that's entirely unattractive to an Fe dom. Being around them teaches me a lot about my tertiary Fe, and I love how they can get people mobilized to accomplish whatever they want. I appreciate the power. When I am in work-related contexts or new places where no one knows me or anything about me, I try to project an ENFJ image because it's so incredibly advantageous. Also great for asking advice when you're having any kind of interpersonal or ethical trouble.
Relationship quality 6/10
INFPs - This one depends very, very heavily on the maturity level of the individual. I have one INFP friend who is so well-balanced I can't think of a single person having expressed a negative opinion about him in the last 5 years. Less balanced ones tend to take criticism too personally and imagine hostility in people's words or actions when none was intended. Of course, if you really probe an INFP, you'll find a wealth of in-depth analysis of every implication of every moral position and action conceivably possible, but the ability to separate one's own idealistic, perfectionist high standards from the standards to which one holds others is something that will have to come with maturity for the INFP. Once there, they are incredibly understanding people with extraordinary depth of feeling--but god damn it's hard to fix it when you piss them off, and it's worse because sometimes they expect you to know everything about how they're feeling and are disconcertingly anti-confrontational. And the passive aggression that results...suffice it to say I've had a couple of bad experiences. But I do love the amazing conversation they provide when on the right topic--just have to poke until Ne comes out, and learn how to minimize Fi's involvement in your interactions with them.
Relationship quality 6/10
ENFPs - In general I love them. They're so bubbly and consistently entertaining and I love the fact that we can just have nonstop brainstorm practice in everything. Random connection to this, association to that, quote this movie, repeat that in-joke. It's all kinds of fun because their sense of humor is right up my alley; the only problems come when we get to more serious fare like politics or interpersonal ethics. Frankly it's annoying that most of them always take the hard left position on virtually any political issue. There's this condescending air sometimes of, "You're not a
socialist? Idiot!" (And please, please, please don't show up here informing me of what a conservative ENFP you are and why I'm so awful for generalizing; I know they exist. Stop taking things so personally.) Anyway, ENFPs are fucking great at parties and the women are terrific in bed (I still can't decide whether ENFP or ESFP is my favorite!) I love that they can follow and truly appreciate most of the things I think about, and they provide much-needed encouragement and ego boosting in dark times. And my god, did I mention the sex?
Relationship quality 8/10
INTJs - Wow. Consistently impress me in many of the same ways that INFJs do, except in even more purely scientific terms. INTJs are all about making progress at all costs, and if that means inventing an entirely new area of technology to get to the goal we want, then we're going to do it. My father and younger brother are both staunch INTJs and at this point I've learned to minimize almost every disagreement with them so I can study the Ni+Te approach. Their flat out stupidity when it comes to interpersonal connection is almost ironically humorous at times, though, because they insist on such a high level of theoretical competence in virtually everything they do, and yet they're often fumbling around at times when they know they're supposed to be appearing emotional for strategic value. (We see right through it, guys!) They don't have much interest in dealing with the interpersonal arena at all, and when they're forced to do so the results can be funny--I like to poke at this weakness and try to get them out of their shells, and it's very rewarding when it works. In any event, it's amazing to me how they can just visualize all kinds of long term goals and then just
do them. Rivers Cuomo from Weezer, at age 18, set out a grand strategic plan for becoming a rock star--and he did it. It doesn't matter how lofty the goal is; INTJ will find a way to rethink its approach and get around it.
Relationship quality 7/10, because they're often so insistent on
not crafting deeply personal relationships.
ENTJs - I can usually understand why they're doing everything they're doing; I just tend to think they're going about it the wrong way, and that's exactly what they usually think of my approach, too. I used to date an ENTJ and it was cool for a while because we loved arguing and the sex was terrific (she was VERY confident and that's always hot), but it kind of died off when we realized that was the extent of what we had in common. I'm impressed with the ENTJ's ability to take command and lead the group toward far-reaching and difficult goals with ruthless efficiency, but I'm frankly nonplussed with their "ends justify the means at all times" attitude and flagrant inattention to the feelings and viewpoints of others (and if an ENTP is pointing that out about you, it MUST be pretty bad.) I like that they almost always know their shit; if they're going to seriously undertake a goal, they're going to research it and have a plan for how to deal with every aspect of it that might come up, and they won't falter in that resolve. There's a lot to be said for that, but I feel they place career success above interpersonal success to a prohibitively high degree, at times.
Relationship quality 6/10
INTPs - I have a never-ending bipolar love affair with INTPs, my functional comrades in Ne and Ti. Many of my very closest friends have been INTPs and I think they understand me better than any other non-ENTP type could, and I appreciate that they can fill in the logical gaps in my Ne-heavy approach to problem-solving while still following my weird trains of thought. I also think they get way too mired in Ti over-analysis and end up becoming negative nancies who ruin their own potential by stifling their imaginations with excessive insistence on internal logical correctness, but if they can avoid that trap and learn a little Te then they'll usually end up doing something fairly unusual with their lives that makes them pretty happy. Sadly many of them just end up a ball of wasted potential that turns to depression--I wish I could help you guys out of the Ti holes that you dig for yourselves, but many of you seem intent on self-destructive behaviors and attitudes. Nevertheless, the near-total understanding is usually worth all the neurotic tendencies--hell, I have all the same ones anyway.
Relationship quality 9/10
ENTPs - As expected, most of these friendships/relationships are great when they happen. We can get into heated arguments but since that's how we bond and learn each other's boundaries anyway, it works perfectly. I still don't know any ENTP women in real life, unfortunately. If you are an ENTP woman, move to Atlanta and marry me. End of story.
Relationship quality 10/10