I think cutting them out and not feeling anything is normal / human. For 9s it's essentially Low Emotionality in B5 though (not to be mistaken for Neuroticism...it's Openness to Experiences, they don't want to experience the emotions) - anything that disturbs the equilibrium / inner peace, they tend to want to numb out. Sadness, anger, even at times positive things such as excitement.
I used to disdain pacifism and avoidance, but realized that part of why I hated it so much was because I unconsciously was it. I mean, I had no respect whatsoever for it, saw it as weak, would have a visceral reaction toward it back then - but what I didn't see in myself was that I was using anger as a backbone, which wasn't healthy or conducive to promoting healthy relationships.
I can relate to...not relating to some of the 9 things, I'm definitely not as passive nor passive-aggressive as your average / textbook 9 still, but I also was almost entirely unaware of the pushover / passive side of myself, and the anger pertaining to it, until introspecting via Enneagram. I knew I was angry a lot of course, I just didn't know I was angry for those things or in those areas. I wouldn't have seen myself as someone who struggles to say no, either; but in hindsight, examining my memories, I did. In my mind's eye, back then, I would have said things such as, "I'm either a leader or a loner. Period. I don't follow." or, "I'm not going to start shit, but I'm also not taking shit from anyone, either." I also was raised to be more aggressive / assertive by an ENTJ 8, though. We were close af, very much an Sx connection and was "us against the world," and I "adopted" a lot of his traits back then...and I think it masked my 9ness more on top of the heavy 8 wing / Sx, but even back then he used to get on my case for using anger as a spine.
Sharing with the point or intention of asking if perhaps there is something similar there for you - either an Sx connection with someone more aggressive / assertive, or lack of awareness in those areas, or doing things via anger. According to WoE, Sx 9 seeking and merging with more assertive or aggressive types is not even uncommon.
Why do you type as 9? Curious.